A kunai. A damn kunai.
Of all the ways to be done in, a kunai to the heart had to be the absolute lamest way to go.
Blown to pieces? Crushed? Anything, more dramatic and heroic than what had happened. No doubt his gravestone would read 'Death by kunai. What a loser.'
Naruto was distracting himself. Focusing on one tiny detail and blanking out the bigger issue. What was it again? Oh yeah, kunai to the heart. Death.
"Sucks…" Naruto mumbled to himself, looking around at his surroundings. "So, is this heaven or what?" He didn't really feel dead. But he definitely wasn't alive, and he'd always thought it was an either-or kinda deal…
Naruto sighed, and replied, "What, bastard?" He paused, and then whirled around. "Sasuke, you died too?!" And his death had probably been way cooler. Typical.
Sasuke stood in front of him, an annoyed look on his face. "Focus, idiot."
Naruto tossed his hands in the air. "On what? You're dead, I'm dead. What else is there to focus on?"
Eyes narrowed, Sasuke bit out, "Breathing, for one. And I'm not dead."
"Huh…so, I'm not dead either?"
Sasuke shrugged. "No, you're pretty much gone."
"Than how are you-"
"I'm not Sasuke, I'm here to help you back. Now. Breathe."
"Dead people don't breathe." Naruto pointed out, smug that now, in the afterlife or wherever the hell this was, he could correct Sasuke. Or at least this Sasuke look-alike.
"Idiot. I said you were pretty much dead. There's still hope."
"Oh…" Naruto's eyes widened. "So I can go back and die a way cooler death?! I mean…not die at all!"
Sasuke look-alike raised an eyebrow, and then nodded.
Naruto smiled to himself. Okay, now to breathe.
"Err…so, how do I do this?" At Sasuke look-alike's pointed look, he rolled his eyes. "I know, I know, breathe."
Sasuke look-alike opened his mouth, no doubt to put down Naruto with a scathing comment, when his eyes widened slightly. "There's no time," he said quickly. "You're almost too far gone…Just…BREATHE, IDIOT!"
"I AM!!" And he was. Wait.
Air was dragged harshly into his lungs, and he gagged on the blood in his throat. Every breathe was a strain, and he wheezed as he tried to sit up.
"Just breathe, okay Naruto? Keep going, you can't let a kunai kill you, it's too lame!"
I know Sakura, he wanted to reply, but all that came out of his mouth was "Ghack mugh…"
He coughed a few times and hacked up the blood in his throat. He tried to open his eyes, wincing as the sunlight obscured his vision, before it slowly cleared. Sasuke's face hung above his own.
"Stupid…Sasuke…I can breathe…See…" Sasuke nodded above him, and replied, "Ye-yeah…you can." Then he paused and added, "Idiot."
Naruto sniggered, and choked some more as Sakura shushed him. He could see her shaking her head. "We thought we'd lost you for sure…"
Smirking, Naruto closed his eyes and replied, "Kunai…tis too lame…"
"Yes, you're right." Sakura's voice was calm and soothing, the voice she only used for her patients. "Now just rest, okay? Sasuke will stay with you."
He heard her leave, and he waved his right fist around, feeling it connect with Sasuke's thigh next to him. Eyes still closed, Naruto mumbled, "Even when it's not you…you're a bastard." He was met with silence, and then Naruto heard Sasuke mutter "Must have lost more blood than we thought…"
Naruto smiled to himself, and sucked in a deep breathe, before releasing it slowly. Breathe in. Breathe out. That's all he had to do.