Disclaimer: If I owned xxxHolic, this would be made a chapter. So the best response would be "duh, of course i don't own xxxHolic"
Title: Alcohol Brings Out Strange Ideas In People
"Drink up, Watanuki-kun! It's not everyday someone turns eighteen!"
"You're probably just using my birthday as an excuse to drink more alcohol than usual." Watanuki grumbled.
"Of course, Watanuki-kun! You know me to well." Yuuko's smile got even creepier than usual, in his opinion.
"Oi, get me some more cake."
"Not only did I have to make my own birthday cake, but I have to serve it to YOU as well? Do you know you've eaten almost half the cake already?!"
"I'd like some more cake too, Watanuki-kun." Himawari beamed at him.
With a smile like that, how could he refuse?
"But of course Himawari-chan! Is there anything else you'd like me to bring you?" Watanuki asked her, but before he could reply, Mokona added,
"Bring back more sake on the way!"
"More sake!" Yuuko chirped out, putting away another bottle (there were around five others) beside her.
Sighing, Watanuki got up towards the kitchen, grumbling all the way about ingrates, his birthday and toxic amounts of liquor, in that particular order.
When he returned, there was a mad scramble (between Mokona and Yuuko) as to who got to drink the sake first, and then Himawari – his sweet, possessed-by-Yuuko's-evil-mind Himawari-chan, suggested a drinking game.
Watanuki begged to be left out (fearing the look in Yuuko's eyes) but Himawari insisted.
"It's your birthday after all! You shouldn't be left out on anything!"
"You probably can't hold your liquor anyway." Doumeki commented.
"Take that back! I can hold my liquor probably a lot more than you can!"
Things went downhill from there.
The next day.
"Oi. We're going to be late."
"Do you KNOW how long it takes to make that sushi you ordered? Especially with a hangover like I have right now? You're lucky I even made it at all!"
"Don't you ignore me you jerk!"
They barely made it to school, with only minutes to spare. Luckily, their first class was PE and everyone was changing into their fundoshi – the Japanese loincloth that they were required to use for swimming class.
Watanuki was grumbling the entire time, and was one of the last students to finish changing.
When he went out, the first thing he noticed were the stares everyone kept giving him.
Even more unusual was the giggling and the whispers.
Everything was easily explained the moment Doumeki got out of the pool and prepared to practice his diving. As the board was directly in front of where he was standing, Doumeki's entire back was clearly exposed to him – including the large black letters that were very visible on barely above Doumeki's rear end.
PROPERTY OF WATANUKI KIMIHIRO
Watanuki fainted right then and there.
"Wha- Where am i?"
"School clinic. Kunogi came by a few minutes ago – she hopes you get better soon."
And at once everything that had happened that morning came back to him.
"WHY THE HELL WAS MY NAME WRITTEN YOUR – YOUR BACKSIDE?!?!?!?"
"You wrote it."
"Last night, when you lost the fifty-third time and Yuuko dared you."
"And you let me?!"
"Why would you let me do that?!?! Are you an idiot or something? Or were you just so drunk that you were more of an idiot than usual?!"
"I prefer you when you're drunk."
"What's that supposed to mean??!"
"You're a lot less noisy."
"ARGH! This was probably Yuuko's plan all along! She probably possessed my dear Himawari-chan into suggesting that stupid game! Why does she keep making me miserable?"
"You're not completely blameless either, you know!"
"If you insist on being wherever I am, you could at least be useful enough to keep me from doing something stupid!"
"You didn't think it was so stupid last night – you said something about giving all those girls from my fan club a warning."
"I never said anything like that!"
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't!"
"How do you remember anything from last night?? You weren't so sober either, as I recall."
"If I was sober, I wouldn't have let you do it in front of Yuuko."
"Why are you so calm about this?!"
"It's stupid to worry over something that can't be changed."
"Are you calling me stupid?!"
"Don't ignore me!"
Later that afternoon (while Watanuki was conveniently dusting in another pocket dimension – the treasure room, meaning he'd be there a while)…
"The pictures came out great, Yuuko-san."
Yuuko scrutinized the photos.
Mokona piped up "Watanuki looks silly!"
"And as promised?" Himawari pressed on.
"Of course. It is only fair." She handed Himawari a slim case containing a DVD.
"You've been having a lot of fun videotaping things, Yuuko-san."
"It's not often I have a video camera and someone as interesting to film as Watanuki!"
"If only he wasn't in denial all the time, we'd have a lot more interesting things to film all the time!" Yuuko pouted.
"I'm sure he'll come to his senses soon. I don't think Doumeki-kun wants to wait too long."
"I think we will be very good friends, Kunogi-san."
"I agree. And please, call me Himawari."
Somewhere in the treasure room, Watanuki sneezed.
And in the temple yard, where he was raking leaves, Doumeki shivered, a foreboding feeling he could not place making the hair on his arms stand on end.