Tears of a Lily

Summary: It's been three years since James Potter was captured by the Death Eaters and presumed dead. Three years since Lily Evans was engaged to be married. What happens when he returns, barely alive and wakes up with no memory of who he is?


Lily's eyes filled with tears as she looked through an album filled with pictures of her and her fiancé, James Potter.

Two months ago, her long-time boyfriend proposed to her on a romantic stroll at a village park near her house. They would have been planning their wedding until James, an Auror-in-training, was called on a mission and never came back.


Lily helped James put on his cloak as he hurriedly tried to tame his hair.

"Are you sure you can't back out on this mission, Jay?" Lily asked.

James sighed. "Lily, you know I can't. Mad-Eye needs all hands on deck."

"James, please, don't go. It is dangerous. What if it's a trap?"

James gave his fiancée a hug. "I'm doing this for the sake of our future family, Lils. I want us to live happily, not with fear in our hearts." He kissed her hand. "Do you understand?"

Lily didn't answer as his lips gave her a peck on the forehead.

"I'll be back before you know it." He promised.

With one last longing glance at her, he Disapparated.

It had been hours since James left and Lily was starting to grow worried. She started pacing while Cassandra, James's eight months pregnant best friend, watched.

"Lily, calm down." Cassandra said as she looked up from the book she was reading.

"He'll be back. He's probably in some flower shop persuading the owner to sell all the flowers he has for you.

Lily sighed as she sat down alongside Cassandra. "You're right. Do you really think he'll do that?"

"Knowing James?" Cassandra laughed. "He would buy an entire flower shop, Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, plus everything in Honeyduke's, and Gladrag's Wizardwear for you. And that probably still won't be enough for him."

The two giggled.

The door to the room they were in clicked open and two grim-looking figures entered.

"Sirius? Remus?" Lily stopped pacing and hurriedly poured out two cups of hot tea for the new arrivals who looked like they had been through Inferno.

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were two of James's best and closest friends. Together, they were known as the Marauders, the notorious gang of mischief-makers that gave all the teachers at Hogwarts huge headaches. After their Hogwarts days were over, Sirius and James went off to become Aurors while Remus went into being an Ancient Runes translator. Nevertheless, the three remained the best of friends.

"Where's James, you guys?" Cassandra asked worriedly as Remus helped her stand.

"Lily, Sandy," Sirius said, calling Cassandra by her nickname.

His voice shook as he said his next sentence.

"We were supposed to raid an alleged hideout of the Death Eaters but it was a trap…Voldemort was there and…"

"And what, Sirius?!" Lily asked, anxiously. "What's happened?!"

Sirius wouldn't meet her eyes. His gaze found Remus', who nodded, looking more miserable than ever.

"Tell me, Sirius!" Lily pleaded, kneeling at his feet.

Sirius hoisted her up by her forearms and switched places with her. Lily was now seated on his chair and he was the one kneeling.

"James is missing." Sirius choked out.

"No!" Lily cried out, struggling out of Sirius' grasp. She stood up and grabbed her cloak. She would find James. She HAD to!

"Lily, you can't leave!" Sirius tried to push her back down on the chair.

As though everything came rushing in at once, heavy with despair, she felt her world spin and grow dark. Sirius' grip on her shoulders tightened and she heard all her three friends frantically call out her name.

Then all was black.

"We have to call off the search." Alastor Moody announced, facing the two Marauders along with Lily and Sandy. The five of them sat in a conference room in the Order of the Phoenix's latest headquarters.

"WHAT?!" exclaimed Sirius, "WHY?"

"Black, you must understand. We have been searching for Potter for a month and there's still no sign of him."

Moody's expression softened. "It was an order from Rufus Scrimegour himself, Sirius. He thought it best to call it off saying that the Aurors must concentrate on finding Death Eaters, not a missing person. If it were up to me,

I wouldn't have called it off. James had potential to be a great Auror, just like his father."

A grim silence met his words. Lily was trying desperately not to cry. Sandy sobbed silently and placed a hand on her bulging belly. Sirius' gaze could have bored a hole into the wooden table, and Remus looked twice his age with anguish.

Moody stood up to leave the conference room.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

End of Flashback

"Lily?" Cassandra's melodic voice snapped her red-haired friend back to the present. She carryied in a tray of food. Her pregnant belly was more enormous than before.

"I thought you'd be hungry, so I brought you dinner. It's lasagna and garlic chicken."

Lily sobbed ad she closed the album. "He promised he'd be back, Sandy."

Sandy hugged her. The two took solace in each other's grief, exchanging stories about James.

"You know, everyday during summer, ever since he was eleven, he would often think about you. It was always 'Lily this', and 'Lily that'. Naturally, I felt jealous. James and I had been best friends since we were toddlers. Our moms predicted that we'd end up together in the future, but he met you. When he appeared at my doorstep, we didn't know what came over ourselves. I'm sorry for all the pain I've caused you."

Lily shook her head. "You don't have to apologize. In fact, I should thank you. When he found out that you were pregnant, I saw a sudden change in him: he was twice as hardworking and dedicated with his training."

"Babies work miracles on those boys. I'm pretty sure that by the time the baby is born, Sirius would argue that the age of one is perfect for the baby to have his first ride on a broomstick."

The two burst out laughing.

Sandy slowly stood, "Well, I gotta go down. I baked a batch of cookies, a bunch of muffins, a tray of cupcakes and brownies, and I cannot allow Sirius to inhale all of it."

"Why bake so many sweets?" Lily asked, her eyes widening.

"I was depressed, I guess. Enjoy your dinner and I'll save you some pastries."


Once Sandy stepped out of the door, she cringed with pain.

"Cassandra?" asked Lily when she noticed her friend stop and clutch the doorframe. "Is something…"

Her emerald green eyes widened when she saw a pool of blood forming around the carpet"…wrong?"

Lily made a quick dash downstairs, exclaiming, "Sirius, Remus! We have to go to St. Mungo's right away! Cassandra's in labor!"

"On the next contraction, I want you push, understand, Cassandra?" Lily said.

Cassandra gripped the sheets as she felt the full force of the labor pains hit her. She tried to fight the pain that was encasing her body. She sat up and pushed. Sirius and Remus supported her by holding her back.

"Come on, Sandy, push!" exclaimed Lily, "I can almost see the baby's head."

Cassandra used the last of her energy, and gave one final, hard push.

A spurt of red slime, the flash of Lily's hand as she wrapped a towel around a small body. The piercing cry of a baby could be heard within the maternity ward.

Sandy fell back against the pillows, breathing heavily, but her eyes never drifted from the sight of the small figure Lily was cleaning in the corner.

Lily's eyes were filled with tears too as she cleaned the baby. They were mixed tears of happiness, sadness and pain. James would have been happy to see how beautiful his baby looked like.

"What is it?" Cassandra asked, hoarse from her birthing.

Lily hastily wiped her tears before carrying the baby towards her mother. "It's a beautiful baby girl, Cassandra." She delicately placed the small pink bundle in Cassandra's arms. "Congratulations."

Sirius and Remus looked at the baby girl. She had Cassandra's ebony black hair and James's chocolate brown eyes.

"She looks just like you, Sandy." Remus complimented.

"But she looks a little small," noticed Sirius.

"That's because she's two weeks pre-mature," Lily answered, "But her weight and height is the same as for the babies born on time. She also has the thickest hair I have ever seen in any newborn."

Cassandra's tears trickled down her smiling lips.

"What are you going to name her, Sandy?"

"Crystal," she answered. "Crystal Alexandra. That's the name James suggested if it's a girl."

Crystal Alexandra Rayne-Potter," Sirius said aloud. "I like it."

"There's one more thing he would have wanted." Cassandra spoke up. "He would have wanted you, Lily, to be his daughter's godmother. He reckons-and I agree- that you'll make a great step-mother if anything happens to me. And, I believe, Remus, he wants you to be Crystal's godfather."

Lily and Remus's eyes widened. "Really?"

"You'll do a great job, you two. That's why he chose you."

Sirius looked offended. "Why did he leave me out? James promised me that I'd be his first kid's godparent."

"He did. He wanted you to be the baby's godparent if it was a boy, Sirius. 'Better to corrupt my son's mind than my daughter's', he once told me. And hello! James Potter. The James Potter, leave his best friend, brother, and partner-in-crime behind? That's crazy!"

Everyone laughed. Sirius whacked Remus playfully in the arm.

"You have to be all behaved, Moony. If it was a boy, I could have taught him a thing or two before he entered Hogwarts.

"I'm sure James wouldn't object to us teaching her 'a thing or two." Remus whacked him back and ran a gentle finger on his godchild's forehead.

Cassandra started packing her things when Lily knocked on her door.

"Hey," Cassandra greeted. "I heard Adela talked to you yesterday."

Adela Potter is James's mother. She liked both Lily and Cassandra for her son but left the decision to him for she knew that his heart would never make the wrong decision. When Crystal was born, she was overjoyed and sent Cassandra loads of baby things that needed twenty owls to transport . The time she visited St. Mungo's nursery was the first time Lily, Cassandra, Sirius, and Remus saw Adela smile genuinely since her son disappeared.

Lily nodded. "Yeah. She wanted me to move in with her back at the Potter mansion. She needs company now that Harry's gone."

Sandra smiled as she scooped up her crying daughter. "How nice of her."

"And she wants you to come live with us."

Sandra, who was feeding Crystal, felt her jaw drop. "What?"

Lily nodded affirmatively. "Come live with us. Adela wants to have access to her granddaughter everyday. I trust you know how persistent that woman can be?"

Cassandra giggled as she slowly tried to burp her baby.

"She's very much like James. It's no surprise that they are mother and son."

"So, what do you say, Sandy?" Lily asked, expectantly.

Once Cassandra heard a small burp come from her baby, she delicately placed the baby in the bassinet. "I don't know, Lily. I mean, who's going to pay for my college tuition? My step-father disowned me, remember?"

When Cassandra's step-father, William Smith, found out that his step-daughter was pregnant with a magical baby-and out of wedlock, too, he disowned her saying that he had enough of this abnormality.

"Adela's taken care of that. She's willing to pay you all throughout college."

"But the apartment I just bought-"

"-was sold to another person, courtesy of me. I already deposited the money into your bank account."

"And my Wiccan stuff-?"

"-Already moved into the Potter Manor. What do you say, Sandy?"

Cassandra gazed intently at her friend, doubt still etched on her face.

Lily continued. "Put it this way. It's better to raise Crystal with all the help you need, rather than alone, right?"

Cassandra ignored her and slowly closed her bag.

"When do we move in?" she finally gave a genuine smile as she turned around to face Lily.