Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, despite how much I wish I did.

A/N: This is just something I thought of while I was bored and attempting to ignore the very, very loud and obnoxious people around me. It also probably contains allusions to other fafnics and or my friends comments. So, just keep that in mind. Enjoy it.

Fifteen Things You Learn in the Seireitei

1. Sometimes the people you trust with your life are the scariest ones in the world.

2. Strawberries and Pineapples go together about as well as water and vinegar.

3. Byakuya's kenseikan is not made of bone, noodles or rolled up pieces of paper.

4. Paperwork is a necessity and must be done in ink, not crayon.

5. Consuming alcohol can hurt your body or kill you; so it's a good thing you're already dead. Drink as much as you want!

6. If Eleventh Division challenges you to a fight, the best thing you can do is lay down your sword and be called a pussy. Else wise you will either leave in a body bag or be forced to go to Fourth Division, which is worse than the other two put together.

7. Candy solves all.

8. If Yachiru gives you a nickname, you have been accepted.

9. If the temperature drops suddenly, you have probably upset the short, white haired, genius Tenth Division Captain, and you'd best rectify it.

10. Don't call said Captain by the name of Shirou-chan whatever you do.

11. In fact, don't call him anything except Hitsugaya-taichou if you want to stay warm and safe.

12. Never believe you can out drink Matsumoto Rangiku.

13. If you leave two people trapped in a small space, you'd best hope they don't have vendettas against each other. Else, you'll probably return to find them both dead.

14. Don't insult Soi Fon, if you want to live. There's a reason she's head of the punishment force.

15. Plotting and initiating the destruction of the Shinigami and Soul Society is not a good way to pass the time. Nor is it original, as it has been attempted.


A/N: I hope you enjoyed this. Please leave a review!