Disclaimer: dude. If you think that I'm JKR and own Harry Potter, then you're stupider than you look.

Actually, I knoweth not what you looketh like... but oh well.

Author's Note: Alrighty then. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but if you read No Longer Weak (which I'm thinking about temporarily discontinuing, because I've had writer's block on it since I last updated it, which was like... May...), you have more reason to kill me! I's sowwy! 0o put down the Starbuck's table, please? (lol I typed this in Starbuck's, and that's where I am now still... XD ) This one's amusing, I think...

SMARTALIENQT: thanks soooo much for those! I will use them, I promise! I just had to have a messed-up one first!

Tyem: XD a Ron/Harry will be good! I'll do it... eventually... see SMART's response for more... :D

Rosebud: Thanks so much for the ideas! I tried to flesh it out more in this chapter, please tell me if you like it? ;)

Dizrythmia Chook: Thanks so much! I'll definitely have to think about the Australian exchange idea! hehehe, I just got a great one for twining your and Tyem's ideas together... mwahahaha...

InoSakuShine: haha, I like that one... I'll use it in real life, and eventually here too!

I'm so sorry I didn't use those yet... see, I didn't think of them until I was writing the Author's Note, after I was finished writing the chapter! Oops! Blonde moment... :D


Ron tripped over a jinx sent his and Harry's way by a few certain cronies of Malfoy's, whom they had previously thought incapable of using wands. Ron and Harry, of course, whirled around, raring to go. As Goyle and Crabbe walked away down the hallway, Ron noticed that their large heads had previously blocked a poster that said, "Join in the Hogwarts Epic Insult Contest! Held on the 33rd of every month!" Without bothering to tell Harry what he was up to, he called out after the hulking retreating backs, "If you were any uglier, you'd have to be Medusa, turning people to stone when they saw you! You're already ugly enough to lose a beauty contest to a troll!"

Harry caught on very quickly, and joined his best friend. He shouted, "Actually, the trolls must be where you two got your," he coughed, "Good," he coughed again, "looks, wits, and smarts."

The 'trolls' gave them both very confused looks, plainly showing them that they didn't understand at all. They got the basic gist of the fact that they were being insulted, however, and started back up the hallway towards the current victors, though with non-comprehending expressions. Ron shook his head sadly. "Harry," he said, loudly enough for Crabbe and Goyle to hear quite clearly, "I think we need to dumb it down for them. Would they understand if we said it in troll?"

Harry snorted to avoid laughing at the looks on the now-understanding rival's faces. He pointed at them, grunted, and pointed out the window, and made a very strange gasping sound, which, if Ron didn't need his ears checked out, sounded a lot like, "juuuuuu-uuuump!" the latter wasn't under the impression that he needed a hearing test, so he quite confidently made a much worse job of hiding his mirth than Harry had.

Surprisingly, Crabbe and Goyle both got extremely odd looks on their faces, blank and even more un-knowing than they had been previously. They turned to the window indicated, and jumped out. Ron and Harry made simultaneous squeaking sounds, and ran over to the window, horrified at what they had done.

Only joking, they stood there and laughed. And Crabbe ad Golye didn't really jump. Awwww…

However, Crabbe and Goyle did walk over to the window. "So… what's out there he was pointin' at, you reckon?" Goyle asked.

"Well, foo, I don't know. It looks regular enough to me."

"Hey, foo, don't call me foo! I'm yo homey, man! You gotta be there fo' yo homies!"

"Dude, I didn't mean that yer a foo! I just called you a foo! That's all, man! Why you have to go jump down my throat, foo?"

Ron and Harry looked at each other. "Um… did they used to speak gangsta?" Harry inquired. Ron shook his head, shrugging at the same time.

"Erm… they sound just as stupid now, does that help at all?"

"Hey! Hey! Fools! Talk to me, fools! My homey just snapped at me, man! Why'd he have to do that?" Harry and Ron stared at Crabbe, wondering why he wasn't looking at them. Then, Ron made a very odd choking sound, almost as if he were trying unsuccessfully to choke back laughter. "Look… he's talking to the painting of Sir Cadogan!" Harry's head whipped around, and then he cracked up. This time, it was Ron who had been more successful in keeping control.

"Why you, why you yelly bellowed… you belly yellowed… you yellow bellied... Crumple-Horned Snorkacks!"

At this, both Gryffindors completely lost control. "He- he-… he just called them…" The two boys blacked out from lack of oxygen to their brains, and didn't recover until Fred and George, thinking that they had taken Fainting Fancies and the twins would get in more trouble than they were already in, revived them with orange ends that they happened to have on them. Both boys remembered the episode vividly, however, and therefore Sir Cadogan earned a place in the Epic Insult Contest of Hogwarts.


I loved that. It was awesome to write:D

Author's Note numero dos: Review? Please? I'll give you Starbuck's Peppermint Hot Chocolate!

Don' you love making offers like that online? No one can ever take you up on them... XD It's GOOOOOD hot chocolate!