This is a one-shot (I can't see it really going anywhere) tribute to/character study of Deidara. I decided to write it because I think I can sort of relate to the guy and wanted to commemorate him (I like to make things out of sculpy and blow them up too : ). It's kinda on crack, so don't feel obliged to understand it. I guess you can review if you want, but don't flame—not that I could imagine anyone wanting to criticize my genius (JK, JK, I'm not that self-satisfied…yet.)

Deidara stares happily at his fork. He likes forks. They remind him of his birds' feet. Deidara decides that one day he would like to make a giant bird completely out of forks. 'A bird made solely of feet!' He giggles. Partner Sasori glares at Deidara and says something. Deidara looks up. He doesn't know or care what the puppet master just said. He is fixated on Hiro, thinking of his magnificent project. The Fork Bird will be just like Hiro! A great conglomeration of parts! The only difference is that Deidara will incinerate his bird shortly after creating it. He desperately wants to incinerate one of Partner Sasori's puppets. Just a little one. The man had over 200 puppets! Could he not spare just a small, malformed creation, one of his earlier, unimportant ones?

"Partner Sasori? I was wondering…"

"Stop wondering and start eating, I was done 5 minutes ago."


"You're pissing me off."

Deidara decides that it would be pertinent to behave himself. After all, Partner Sasori will have to be in a good mood for him to give Deidara one of his puppets. Unfortunately, Deidara's breakfast is not to his liking. 'Prickly Pear jelly? Isn't a prickly pear a cactus? I refuse to eat cactuses. That's just ridiculous.'

"I'm finished."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"Fine, but if you bitch about being hungry later…" Partner Sasori flashes his puppet tail menacingly.

The tail would probably disturb Deidara, were he not currently thinking about cactuses. 'Eating them is gross…but to blow one up…my god, it would be magnificicent! Especially a many-branched milk tree! Or a century-old saguaro!!! Ah, the splooshing noises it would make…the pokeys strewn about…




"What do you mean, "no"?

"Whatever you're thinking right now: no."

"But you don't even know—"

"NO." Sasori shish-kabobs Deidara's toast with his dexterous tail and mashes it into nothingness with puppet teeth.

"no", Deidara repeats softly, backing down. He really doesn't want to mess with Sasori. The man just ate a freakin' cactus for god's sake.