A/N: Please note that I'm being 'forced' to post this before the whole story is completed. I only have 7 chapters so far, so after a point there won't be regular updates. Hopefully you'll all stick with it, and keep hounding me for more. That's the only way it'll ever get done. Thanks
Ok, this is the result of reading too
many (is there actually such a thing?) fan fics and then re-watching
Revelations, and craving more. I'm not new to writing in general,
but this my first Criminal Minds fic so please R&R, and enjoy!
The only character I really know well is Reid so forgive me if the
others are a bit OOC. Also, note that this spawned from a dream I
had… I just have to work at filling in the blanks that dreams so
often give you. Takes place shortly after Revelations and Jones so
Reid still has his "happy pills" or liquid liberation, as the
case may be. But, he's working through it with Gideon, though in my
mind Reid hasn't told Gideon exactly what it is he's struggling
Drug information found here: here: various other places.
Disclaimer: I own nothing Criminal Minds related. This is purely for fun.
Drug Store Heroin
Chapter 1: The Onset Of Symptoms
It's a week. It's just a week. Special Agent Dr. Spencer Reid repeated this phrase silently to himself as he walked into the BAU offices. I can last that long right? It's only 7 days, or 168 hours, or 2,016 minutes, also known as, 120,960 seconds. Yeah, I can do it. I can last a week without Gideon.
He'd received a phone call early that morning from his mentor, who sounded very rushed, saying only that he had to leave for about a week, that he should be back on Friday, and that he trusted him. Reid barely had time to accept it, and say goodbye before the call was disconnected, with the faint sound of an airport announcement in the background 'Final boarding call. Flight 214, destination --' -click- and that was that. He hadn't even noticed his ragged appearance before he left the house. He hadn't touched his hair, and rather then finding new clothes to wear he'd grabbed the ones from the day previous; plain, off-white, patterned shirt, boring, light brown slacks, a tie, and two different socks, one red and white stripped, and one black with blue dots. Completing the outfit was his regular messenger bag, filled with books, papers, and some unmentionables. He walked towards the staff room, quickly trying to locate everyone, hoping they had more information than he did.
There was only one other member of the team there, Prentiss, and he paid her no mind as he fetched himself a coffee, messenger bag still on his shoulder. He was rather possessive over that bag these days, considering it's contents that didn't surprise him, and the possessiveness was just the start of his ever changing behaviour since his kidnapping. No one seemed to blame him though, they all just took it as part of his natural coping mechanism. Everyone dealt with trauma in different ways, this was his. The thought brought a small smile to his face, as he stood in front of the coffee pot. None of them really had any idea what was going on. Not even Gideon, though he was the closest to finding out. Gideon. "It's a week, it's just a week." He began mumbling his earlier phrase under his breath, causing Emily Prentiss to take notice.
"Reid? You alright?" She stood from the table taking a couple hesitant steps towards him. No response, and she couldn't hear what he was saying. "Reid?" she continued, "What are you saying?"
His name, he heard his name from somewhere behind him, and he knew that voice, but it wasn't Gideon so it wasn't worth it. He continued mumbling to himself, vaguely aware of someone behind him, and that his heart rate seemed to be picking up, but completely unaware he was talking out loud. His heart rate… that was something he was supposed to keep an eye on, he'd done his research, he knew what it could mean. His name was said again, irritatingly close to him.
Prentiss frowned, concerned and confused. Despite standing so close behind him she still couldn't hear what he was saying. She took a step to the left, drawing slightly closer, "Spencer, are you ok?" She reached out a hand to touch his shoulder, but barely made contact before he spun to face her, swatting her hand violently away.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" Reid shouted, his breathing now deep and heavy over one simple action. The hurt, and slight fear, in his team member Emily Prentiss' eyes gave him slight pause, but it was like looking through a veil of someone else's memories to him. It couldn't possibly have been him that just did that. "Don't. Touch. Me." He repeated slower, keeping focused on slowing his breathing and heart rate. Once satisfied, he turned to his right, away from Prentiss, and grabbed his coffee off the counter then continued the turn to face the far wall where the door stood. Occupying the doorway were Morgan and JJ, both stunned and floundering for something to say.
Reid flushed slightly, looking to the floor for a moment before returning his gaze to them. "Umm, good morning." With a sigh he looked to the floor again, now completely embarrassed over his actions, and making a mental note to add mood swings to his list of ailments. "You guys hear about Gideon?" It was a feeble attempt to change the subject and he knew it, however as he raised his head again he noticed both of them nod.
"Is that what's got you all agitated, Reid?" Morgan asked calmly.
Reid shook his head, "I'm not agitated, I'm just… tired." He pulled out a chair from the table in the middle of the room. "Just didn't sleep much is all, after his call."
Morgan nodded, "Well, I wouldn't sit down just yet, Hotch wants to see us all ASAP."
Reid frowned, by the sounds of things they had another case, and he just wasn't feeling up to it. He gave them a weak smile and a small nod, and they both turned from the door and walked down the hall. Reid set down his coffee, leaving it forgotten, followed them to the doorway and then paused, waiting for Prentiss who he knew was behind him, somewhere. He turned towards her as he heard her approach, and noticed her flinch. Reid closed his eyes with a heavy sigh, trying to hide the pain he felt from being seen in his gaze, yet showing it all the more with his body language. "I'm sorry." He opened his eyes slowly waiting for acceptance or rejection, but Prentiss' expression was neutral.
"Yeah, I get it, I understand. Your stressed, we all know you need time to heal, and Gideon's sudden departure just made things harder." Reid nodded, and she stepped passed him , entering the hallway. "You coming."
"Uh, yeah, I'll be there in a few, have to make a quick stop at the little boys room." He said with a weak smile.
Prentiss nodded, "Well I'd hurry, by the sounds of things this is big." Without another word she turned and took the same path down the hall as the others.
Reid looked both ways, checking for any other people, before shoving his hand inside his bag, searching for the special pocket and it's contents, while he started at a jog in the other direction, towards the bathrooms.