A/N: No words…please read…
Rule 11: That Sound
The twins had switched on to protect mode, and from the way things have been going they would stay that way for a while. Their first instincts were to hunt the girl down and make her disappear, but they knew Allen wouldn't want such a thing. So they tried to put it in the authority's hands but were less then thrilled at what they got. They could not have arrested Lenalee because they no evidence against her, other then the beansprout's word. Apparently that wasn't enough because the police had dealt with 'boys lying because they wanted to get back at their ex-girlfriend', which more then just pissed the twins off. The beansprout was in danger, and they were questioning if it was real? How screwed up was that?! They wanted to give them a piece of their mind, but know it would only make the situation worse. They didn't want to upset Allen anymore then he already was. He'd stopped talk, and had reverted back to the state the two had tried to desperately to pull him out of. Allen would come out of his room, but just wouldn't say a word to anyone. It was hard being around him…the silence was killing them, and Rabi couldn't give his little 'get over yourself' speech this time.
Maybe it was best to just leave him alone…though doing so might've made matters worse. The two had tried to leave him in the room alone at night, but whenever they'd wake up, the beansprout would be in one of their beds. So they had decided that all three of them would sleep in one bed, making it easier on Allen. He would always be sandwiched in between them, not because he was a chronic roller or anything, but he had started having nightmares lately. The beansprout would toss and turn in his sleep, sometimes even sobbing while muttering 'stop' over and over again. The twins wanted to wake him, but knew it wasn't the greatest of ideas. They tried that him once, but he woke up violently and tried to choke one of the redheads. The three of them needed a break; they needed to put all of them behind them, if not for a while then for a few days. What they needed was…a vacation. And lucky for them they knew just the person to talk to.
So they walked into a very crowed restaurant, the same Rabi had taken Allen too on their first night out, and quickly walked to the back. The two of them hoped that Jerry would be in, and judging by the amount of customers that were in the dining room they easily assume that he was. Once in the kitchen, they were greeted by a few of the chefs and being the nice boys that they were, greeted them back. Rabi gave his brother a look, and without second guessing it, he clapped his hands over the beansprout's ears. This was going to be loud…and very embarrassing…so taking in a deep breath…
"JERRY-SAAAN! WE NEED A VACATION!" He yelled, a huge blush now plastered on his face. The whole kitchen went silent; the two for them knew it would be like this because most of the staff knew what they meant. When the two were small and still worked at the restaurant, they were told by Jerry that if they ever found that special someone that'd he would give them an all experiences paid trip to the exclusive beach resort that was in the next town. The two of them laughed at the idea at the time, finding the idea of the two of them finding someone they liked that much utterly ridiculous. The flamboyant man didn't find it offensive at all, knowing that the two boys were young and didn't know what love was. But now…
"Rabi! I'm so happy for you!" Jerry said, holding the redhead tight.
"J-Jerry, I can't breathe!" The redhead said, trying his best to break out of his grasp which was surprisingly strong. "B-Besides, Lavi and I like the same guy so-"
"What? Really?! Is this him?!" The flamboyant man asked, looking over at Allen whose expression hadn't changed in the slightest. He didn't really know what was going on, and he really didn't seem to care. The beansprout just wanted to go home and sleep…it was all he wanted to do now a days. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself. Allen saw Rabi exchange a few words with the unknown man, and received something that looked like tickets of some sort. Where they going somewhere? Allen wanted to pass on the whole thing, seeing it as something that would get in the way of his sleep time. Lavi finally dropped his hands away from his ears, and he was taken away. He really didn't care it he was going anywhere important, he just…wanted to sleep.
The twins had agreed that Lavi would be the one to go along with Allen, since they were only given two tickets. It was only logical, seeing that Lavi was the more practical and thought things over a little more then Rabi did. They would leave tomorrow, and the twins prayed that the beansprout would come back relatively normal. They weren't expecting him to be the same, but they did want him to be at a point where he could balance himself out. Allen needed to see the pros and the cons, but right now he only saw the negative. It was another sad truth the twins had to deal with, but they'd try their best to cast it away.
"Come on Allen, it's the beach!" Lavi said, trying his best to pull the shorter from behind him. The trip was so nerve-racking and this was only their second day there; the redhead had departed the day before with Allen, leaving behind a depressed brother who acted like he didn't care. He knew how much Rabi wanted to go with them, but the whole trip wasn't for pleasure…it was to try and get the beansprout out of his normal surroundings, ultimately making him feel better. Lavi knew his brother understood this, but of course that horrible 'separation issue' was still there. It was obvious that being way from Allen made Rabi not want to sleep, but being away from both his lover AND brother was a different story. There was no tell what he would do, and the thought of him getting into trouble crossed Lavi's mind quite a bit. Having faith in his brother was something he wasn't sure he could do that well, mainly because he knew what he was capable of. There was one time when he'd gone away because of he was actually adopted for a short time, and within that time his brother went batshit insane. He was told that the redhead had trashed their room, breaking anything that was breakable and tearing the wallpaper from off the wall. Lavi was ultimately returned, and the orphanage made a new policy that stated 'if you want one, you must take the other'. Lavi knew that his brother was being childish, but he knew how much it hurt being away from the one family member you had left.
As the two boarded the train, Lavi was still very much worried about the fact that Allen had yet to say a word. He wanted to hear the beansprout's voice, not when he was screaming in his sleep, but when he would laugh because he was happy. Was that really too much to ask for? The redhead knew that wanting Allen to do something he didn't want to was being a little selfish, but dammit, he needed to Allen be Allen again. He…no…both he and his brother were ridding on his trip to make some change. As the train started to leave, the redhead waved his brother goodbye, hoping Allen would do the same…but of course he didn't. The two of them were strangely alone on a train Lavi thought was going to be packed, and as much as he didn't want it to, his mind started to telling him things it really shouldn't have. Alone plus Allen can equal only one thing, and the redhead was trying to be the responsible one and not jump the kid. But it was so hard! He was just sitting next to him, staring out of the window with a blank expression. It was hard to see him like that, not show a single ounce of emotion and completely unaware of his surroundings. Lavi got the feeling that the beansprout had not even realized that they'd even gotten on a train, let alone left the house. It was like he was completely numb, just going through the world like it was nothing more then something to do. So the redhead thought that a little touching was in order…so, he reached over and wrapped his arm around his waist. The beansprout didn't move at all, not even acknowledging that fact that Lavi had touched him at all. That hurt…that hurt a lot…
Over the course of the ride Lavi tried to get the beansprout to notice him, not going overboard as he did so. He would only touch above the waist, kissing only his neck or his cheek. He would always be gentle, never grabbing at him or forcing him down. But it didn't work…Allen wouldn't move, wouldn't moan, and wouldn't even look at him…He was asleep on the inside and it didn't look like he would wake up anytime soon…and that fact scared the redhead. What if the beansprout never returned to normal? What if he stayed like this for the rest of his life? No…Lavi wasn't going to think like that because it wasn't his job; he was sent there to be the responsible one, the one that was the voice of reason that would bring his lover out of the darkness. That was what his heart (and brother) told him to do, so that's what he would dedicated his time to. Once the train had stopped they left, catching the nearest bus to their temporary home. The whole train ride had been about three hours, and taking it easy today seemed like the best idea. He didn't want to stress out the beansprout more than he already was, in fear of even worse consequences. After the bus had stopped, Lavi was amazed at the house and the view. It wasn't too large of a house, about two stories that that neat in direct alignment with the setting sun and ocean. The sound of the waves sitting the shore was so peaceful, and maybe just being around things like that would help along the process. Taking Allen's hand, the two of them walked to the luxurious looking house by the water, all the while Lavi thinking of what they would do during their stay. Going to the beach couldn't be their only options, and the redhead was given a few more when the he overheard a few people talking about going into town. Areas like this always had a small town or two nearby were visitors could purchase things if they wished, and the redhead thought that maybe being around other people would also help Allen out. Just being around the Lavi and his brother all day wasn't healthy, and seeing other people might take his mind off of things.
That was yesterday…
The two for them were standing on the soft sand of the beach, Allen behind the redhead as if afraid to do anything. At lest he was showing signs of actual emotion…though it wasn't the one Lavi wanted to see. The beansprout looked absolutely terrified for some reason, and he was holding onto the redhead's arms like he was going to fall off the planet. He tried asking what was wrong; the beansprout only tightened his grip. Sighing a little he tried to pull Allen over to the water, but he refused to go…
"Allen…can you swim…?" Lavi asked, trying his best to pull Allen from behind him, "I can go with you if-"
"Let me go, dammit!" Allen yelled, frantically trying to pull away. The redhead just looked at him for a moment; so he didn't know how to swim…was that why he was acting so strange? Now it wasn't that big of a deal, but if they were going to have fun the beansprout would have to go in the water. Most of the ideas that came to mind meant letting Allen go and ultimately meaning he'd run away. So he thought about what his brother would do in such a situation, knowing that doing that meant it was probably better for Rabi to be there than him. So, he picked the beansprout up and slung him over his shoulder, not caring his he squirmed. Once far enough in the water, Lavi slowly place Allen down in the water only to have him cling to him for dear life once again. Even when the waved gently crashed against the two of them, the water level never made it past the beansprout's navel, he freaked. He still clung to him, never looking as if he would let up in the slightest. At lest he'd gotten him to speak…though it was not what he wanted out of him, it was good enough.
"Come on Allen, it's not that bad…the water isn't even that deep!" He said, trying his best to lighten the mood. Allen didn't look up at him, hell, his eyes weren't even open. Did it really frighten him that much to be in the water? It must've because he was starting to cut off the circulation in the redhead's arm. Sighing a little, he pulled the beansprout a little closer; maybe he was rushing thing…maybe it was best for the two of them to just sit on the beach shore. He didn't want to bring more stress into the beansprouts life, but had actually done the one thing he'd said he wouldn't.
"Just…hear me out…" The redhead stared, "…I…we just want you to get better, because we hate seeing you like this. We really do care about you and I know you know that…"
With that said he picked Allen up bridle style and took him back to shore, wanting to just go back to the house and sleep. Since getting the beansprout in the water was a failure, he needed to try something else…something less direct. But if he messed up the consequences would be horrible…Once back at he house, he took Allen upstairs and into the bathroom. Since the only thing the two of them had on were swimming trunk, so didn't have to worry about taking off any extra clothes. He asked Allen if he wanted to bathe with him, as he expect, he didn't get an answer. Reaching over he gently patted the beansprout's head, not knowing what else he could do. Lavi told Allen that if he wanted to get in then he was more than welcome to. So with one quick movement he pulled down his trunks, making sure he didn't make it seem too sexual. As he turned on the water, he found the sex was the last thing on his mind, and he was sure doing something like that would only make matters worse. Forcing him down and screwing him senseless just seemed like a bad idea…but then again, everything the redhead thought of sounded bad. If he was going to fix Allen didn't that mean he had to take a risk? Or better yet, didn't he have to make Allen feel better? Why was he hesitating so much? Why was he questioning himself?
Lavi was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt the beansprout wrap his arms around him, a little looser than he usually did. He didn't want to turn around, in fear of looking into the shorter's hurt filled eyes. He hated those eyes as much as his brother did, and it pained him so much to know that he was so useless…it was just like the last time. He thought what he was doing was right, but he knew that deep down everything he said, everything he wanted to say, and everything he did was nothing more then a pitiful attempt to bring back the one person he felt deeply for. God, why did he feel like crawling into a corner and dying?
"I can't do this…I might be the level-headed one, but that doesn't mean I know what to do. I so sorry Allen, but I just…" Lavi started, but couldn't finish for some reason.
"…Stop it…" Allen said in a small voice, making the redhead jump a little, "….Lavi shouldn't act like this…"
"…Please stop…" He said, his grip tightening around the redhead. Allen might've been dead on the inside, but he was listening to everything. He did not react to things, but he did know what was going on. The beansprout didn't like seeming Lavi like this, hell, he hated seeing both redheads like this and he knew it was his fault. He'd put them through so much, and each time they tried to make it better he felt worse about himself. It wasn't the fact that they did try that got him so upset, it was the fact that they would try so hard. Allen could see the desperation, the sheer amount of effort was going into just him and that made his heart sink. Going out of their way to help him, when he knew they meant well, was sending him further and further down the rabbit hole. The deeper he got the less he cared, and it meant he needed to get himself out alone this time. Burying his face in the redhead's back, he tried his best to explain what he wanted…
"…Please let me do this alone…at lest let me try, Lavi…" He said, grip tightening a little more, "I don't want to see you two acting like this…"
"Acting like what?"
"…Like you know best…" Allen said, slowly letting go of Lavi. The redhead just stood there for moment, letting when Allen had said sink in. He wanted to do it himself? That hit a little hard for the redhead, since he only wanted to help…but that was the point. The fact that he wanted to help Allen so badly probably discouraged him, making him think that Lavi and his brother were looking at him as nothing more then a mere child. Upon realizing this the redhead's heart sunk; he had no intention of making Allen feel that way, and it damn near crushed him to figure out that he was the one keeping the beansprout in his current state. He was feeling something so unimaginably painful that he couldn't put it into words, nor did he want to. Turning around he fell to his knees, resting his head against Allen's stomach.
"I'm…I'm…god, I'm so sorry, Allen…." He said, feeling his heart begin to sink further and further.
"…Lavi…just stop…" Allen said, patting the redhead's soft hair. Neither of them knew what to say after that, because truthfully nothing should've been said at that point. The two of them just needed a break; no more words, no more heartache, no more thinking…but doing all of those things at once was damn near impossible. So the two of them decided that it was probably best to sleep, since sleeping meant they could think of a way to deal with the next day. So instead of Lavi being the leader, it was Allen who pulled the redhead up and led him to the bedroom. They didn't look at the other, and nor did they say a word; time for talk was over, and Allen thought that he had said quite enough for the day…
And he knew this did not mean a turning point was approaching quickly…
Lavi woke up the next day feeling more then a little horrible, and more than a little sick. He spent his night thinking so much that he would nod off and wake back up, not realizing that he did so. The redhead just couldn't stop the thought that he had royally screwed over the beansprout, and the doubt and horror had caused to catch a cold. He thought doing so in the past was impossible but as he lied on his bed, temperature well over ninety, cold washcloth on his forehead, and the feeling of his stomach about to reject everything he had eaten that day…he could most definitely say it was possible. On the upside, Allen was speaking to him…though not a lot. He would ask if he needed anything, and sometimes mutter incoherent words to himself. Once against it wasn't much, but it was enough for the redhead to know that Allen was still there. The redhead knew that in his current state he couldn't do much but sulk about the other day, but he knew that keeping a little hope inside of him was the right thing to do. He thought about calling his brother and talking about what had gone on yesterday, but that would've only discouraged the other redhead. The last thing Allen needed was for both he and his brother to be in a completely distraught mood…but then again Rabi was much stronger than he was. Each of them held a different perspective of the other, and seeing the other as strong was a given. The two of them had to be strong because the only form of family they had was the other, and they were determined to keep what they had together. But…Lavi could see it even if his brother couldn't…
"I wanna go home…and stop acting like that…" Allen said by the doorway, completely taking Lavi by surprise. He groaned a little when he jolted forward, wishing his body didn't ache at every little movement. Upon feeling the bed move he held his head a little, mentally cursing whatever had overtaken his body.
"W-What do you mean you 'wanna go home'?" Lavi said, trying his best to not speak too loudly.
"…I don't like the beach…and you're…never mind…" He said, but decided to not add the word 'sick'. There was indeed something afflicting him, but it was not a physical ailment…it was mental. The redhead had dug himself into such a hole that he'd come down with a bad case of depression, and it had manifested itself as a horrible cold. He'd gone through the same thing once or twice before, feeling like his whole body was against him. It might not have felt too great, but Allen thought the redhead shouldn't have gotten himself so bent out of shape because of it. Okay, so what if he was the source of his problems, but that didn't mean he could be all 'life isn't worth it' on him. Of all people in the world he truly thought the redhead would be the last to be in this state, or at lest the last person to react the way he did. Allen thought he was supposed to be the emotional one, reacting to everything that happened to him…not Lavi…The redhead was supposed to be the strong one, the one that told him that everything was going to be alright. That's what he needed…he just wanted a little encouragement, not someone forcing him to go on some stupid vacation, or force him into ocean where he could've been so easily swept away by the current.
The beansprout hated the water ever since he was a child; he'd almost drowned when he and Mana were visiting the beach one time. It was mostly his fault because he was the one who did not listened to his father, not following the simples instructions to not go too far into the water. Of course he wasn't going to pay him any mind, and he ended up getting his foot caught in a reef. It pulled him down and the beansprout wasn't known for holding his breath for long periods of time, ultimately leading to lack of oxygen. Luckily for him Mana came a few seconds after he'd started losing air, so he didn't swallow too much water. With that said he didn't know why the twin idiots had decided that this was a good idea! They didn't even ask him what he thought…granted he wasn't really in a talkative mood, but they still should've thought to ask. He didn't mind the treatment once in awhile, but every time he freak out was a bit too much. He loved the two of them; they both knew that, but having a relationship meant that everything couldn't be perfect. Sometimes things just couldn't be fixed with words or gotten rid of by going somewhere else…time was nessesary. If time was given there would definitely be an outcome, and isn't that want they wanted? He would be cured right?
"…Lavi…" Allen said, looking down at him.
"Hm…?" He said from his new position under the blankets.
"…Why are you acting like such a dumbass…?" He asked with a straight face.
Dumb…ass?! To this Lavi jolted up, ignoring the throbbing coming from the back of his skull. What had he just called him?! Better yet, why had he just called him that?!
"W-What? Huh?! I am not!" The redhead said, feeling a more confused than he ever had been in his entire life. He knew his actions might've been a bit brash, but that didn't qualify him to be called a 'dumbass'.
"…You're depressed not sick, so stop acting like it…You two are the ones making me feel worse, so what? Now you know, so I was expecting you to take me home and pretend like there was nothing wrong with me, but instead you act like the world is about to end…" He started, crossing his arms, "I'm not trying to be cold, I just…hate it when things change…especially things I like. I know you two just wanna protect me, but sometimes I just need to figure things out on my own…even if it's really hard. But…I still want you guys to cheer me on…"
Lavi just sat there in silence after the beansprout was done; he hadn't noticed that he was acting like such a child until Allen said something, and he wanted to kick himself so badly. He was being selfish…only thinking about what he thought was best for Allen then completely coming apart when it didn't go as planned. Somehow this whole trip had reversed itself, the redhead now being the one that was trying to revert back to his former self. The worst part was he hadn't noticed none of it, and as much as it pained him, he knew that he was only making the situation worse with his antics. Love and blind devotion were sometimes a step away, and Lavi didn't wish to cross that line…but right now he straddling it. He wanted to be with the beansprout for as long as time let him, but he would sometimes not see the bigger picture, thinking that what he was doing was because his heart was telling him to. His heart had no part in anything that had gone on for the last two days, and the fact that he was ignoring it was proof enough. Racking his hands through his hair, he tried to think of a way to make it up to Allen…however…he quickly pushed that thought aside when he felt the beansprout curl up against his chest. It must've been so stressful dealing with the problems back home, the ones going on here, and the ones from the past…from the looks of things Allen seemed so tired.
"…I'm sorry, Allen…" He said, holding him tight, "I'm so sorry…"
"…Stop apologizing and say you love me…" Allen muttered, relaxing a little more against the redhead. He hesitated for a few seconds then smiled, not sure if it was appropriate or not.
"Alright…I love you"
The train ride wasn't as bad as the first one, and Lavi was feeling much better. After the two of them had woke up from their four hour long nap, it was decided that going home was the best option because both of them had grown tried of the site and smells around them. They wanted to be around familiar surrounds and not around some tropical getaway…it just wasn't right. They did, however, go into town before they left just to see what it was like. To their surprise it wasn't as crowded as they thought it was, nor was it filled with fake tanned bikini clad women, or men with airbrushed six-packs. The town looked pretty normal for a seaside place, there were fishing boats in the water, the people on board waving to the residents that knew them. There were stands set up everywhere, selling fresh things from fresh fruit, vegetables, and even a few selling trinkets. The streets were made out of cobblestone that was polished so well that it glistened in the sun, making look as if they were walking on glass. The redhead found that Allen was genuinely interested in what was going on around him, instead of acting like a corps. He would sometime look as if he wanted to point a few things out and say 'look at that!' or 'can we go over and buy something?' which Lavi found rather amusing. He had to admit that everything in the town looked rather nice, but seeing Allen act so enthusiastic about something was a much better sight.
The two of them browsed a few stands, not really intending to buy anything. Lavi blushed a little whenever an old woman would comment on 'how cute' he and Allen looked together, since it was somewhat embarrassing to have something like that said to him. It wasn't that he didn't like being seen in public, it was the fact that comments like that made everything feel real. He'd something think that being with the beansprout was nothing more then a good dream, but he'd be reminded when he needed to that it was real whenever he saw, heard, or felt something. It was (almost) perfect…he had someone that he loved, and there wasn't anything that could change that. He was happy to be, well hell, just around him and felt that's where he belonged…even if he had to share him. After browsing around, the decided it was time to leave having now overstayed their visit.
"…How many stops still ours?" Allen asked, eyes never leaving the window
"Only three" The redhead said, pulling the beansprout close and kisses his neck.
"…W-Wait…" Allen muttered, sounding slightly desperate.
"It's just a kiss" He said, placing his head in the beansprout's lap, "That's all it is unless you want it to be more…"
Allen just sat there…Lavi was the only twin he hadn't slept with, and he did promise to make it up to him. But there were in public…or at lest on public transportation, and the last thing he wanted to do was get caught. Running his finger through the redhead's soft hair, he found that he really didn't feel like doing much and sex meant doing a lot. He didn't want to do it because he wanted the redhead to be happy, the beansprout wanted to do when he was feeling better…when they BOTH were in the mood. So he simply told Lavi that he just wanted it to what it was, and leaned back a little. He still felt so…tired…like the whole world was just so boring and nothing was worth it anymore. But he knew…he knew he needed to get over the feeling that was inside of him, since he told Lavi that he would. He needed to be strong…he was sick a tired of being the weak one, having people use him, having his feelings take over, and not being able to do anything about it. That time was over, and Allen was going to try his hardest to keep it that way. If he had the twins with him there was nothing he couldn't do, and just having that feeling made a little better about himself.
After what seemed like hours passed, he shook Lavi a little to wake him up. The redhead had indeed fallen asleep, and anyone would've with the gentle rocking of the train car, moving the body like a crib would. Allen told him that it was time to leave the train, and with a quick nod they began to gather their things. The two didn't bring that many bags, one or two at most because deep down they knew they weren't staying for too long. Pulling out his phone, Allen began to dial Rabi's cell number, wanting to hear his peppy voice opposed to his brother's sorrow filled one. He really missed him…it only had been two days, but he still wanted to be around him, to hear his voice, and to hear him laugh. He loved his laugh…it made him feel so much better when he heard it, like it was something that told him that everything was going to be alright. But there was a problem…Rabi wasn't picking up his phone. The beansprout found this a little odd; he knew the phone wasn't off because it rang the normal four times before doing to voice mail, and unless the redhead was asleep there was no reason to not pick up. He told Lavi about the phone call and about how much he was concerned about the situation, since it was so out of ordinary. The other redhead wasn't sure why he wasn't answering, but he told him not to worry too much.
Upon trying again, he received the same outcome and thus began to get even more concerned. Now Allen knew that the other twin would be alright if anything happened to him, but that didn't let the fact that something could've happened to him slip away. He held onto Lavi's arm tightly, feeling his stomach begin to churn. His mind was racing was thoughts that shouldn't have been there, and he felt his body start to go into overdrive. Pulling the redhead along, he ran down the street at full speed, ignoring the protest Lavi was shouting behind him. He couldn't help but worry…losing someone that close to him …no, he wasn't going to let that happen. Rounding the corner he could see the house in view, and that only made the adrenaline pump through his body eve more. He prayed that nothing had gone wrong, that Rabi was simply asleep with the blankets over his head. That had to be it…right?
"Rabi!" He yelled upon opening the door, wanting to hear his voice so he would put all of his worried behind him.
"Allen, get out of the-"
Allen heard what it was but didn't acknowledge it at first; Lavi heard it as well but was too afraid to move a muscle. Rabi's voice was heard, but it was the sound that came after it…That horrible sound that echoed through every inch of Lavi's being…
A/N: …Very sorry…please don't bring up how long this too…I already feel bad enough about it…