(A)BORT, (R)ETRY, (F)AIL?
PART ONE: RECONFIGURATION
A/N: I have absolutely no idea how I got this finished on time lol. I've stayed at least an hour late every night closing up shop because one agent or another was stuck on a call, and it's a 45 minute walk home. This probably wouldn't have been finished until tomorrow, even with how hard I tried to push through it, but my kitty woke me up this morning and wouldn't let me go back to sleep.
I had to censor out a considerable chunk of this chapter (almost half) for obvious reasons. :p If you want the uncensored version you can hunt it down on , or you can e-mail, PM, or leave a review about it and I'll get it to you. Also, anyone who's asked for a chapter of something and been missed by me in the past, let me know, I can still get it to you. I went through a lot of craziness for awhile so I think I may have had one or two slip between the cracks.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter, and please review and let me know what you think. :)
You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
Chapter Sixteen – Love
Rock sat on the porch with a blanket draped over his shoulders lightly. The seasons were starting to change, and already at night there was a slight chill, though the cicadas were still in full lilt during the day. But he wasn't thinking about that, nor was he watching the stars; he hardly watched them anymore. He stared up at them, sure, but he didn't really see them. His fight with Forte still weighed heavily on his conscience, and his stomach felt leaden with guilt.
What had he been thinking that night? Why had he done that? Forte had been trying to come to him, to clear his conscience and voice his concerns, and he had pushed him away. And now he was never going to make things right, because Forte was avoiding him like the plague, and he wouldn't let him get close enough to him to even talk about it. Rock wasn't sure he could talk about it if given the opportunity anyway. Were there really any words appropriate for the situation anyway?
He let out a deep, long sigh and leaned back onto his elbows, tilting his head back and yelping loudly. He was staring up into the upside down image of Forte, head falling just short of his left foot. "You scared me!" He must have been really lost in his thoughts for Forte to get so close without him sensing him at all. He sat up quickly, heart racing, and pat next to him. "You're so quiet, I didn't hear you approach." He smiled nervously, trying to think of something to say to break the ice, anything. Forte stared back at him, his face a clay mask. Only his eyes had any life to them,surveying him silently.
He sat back up quickly, feeling colour rise to his cheeks, trying his best to look approachable and friendly. Forte was still looking at him, and he didn't look like he was going to leave. It wasn't much, but it was as close as he'd gotten to the Wily bot since that nice. He realized Forte hadn't said anything yet, so he took it upon himself to start up the conversation before he let the opportunity to finally talk slip between his fingers. "Forte… Look, I didn't-"
"I miss you." He'd said it quietly, and over top of what Rock was saying, but the older boy stopped dead, and he knew he'd heard him correctly. He sank down slowly next to Rock. "I didn't mean to disgust you." he murmured, staring at his feet, unable to look Rock in the eye, waiting expectantly for him to say something. He couldn't remember seeing Forte look this nervous before. Rock was stunned, fighting with his mind for words. "Rock... please..."
Rock stared at him quietly, reading his body language, and he felt his eyes flood over with tears. "I… I missed you too." He reached over and hugged Forte tightly, expecting a stiff hug back at most, but Forte was warm and accepting, returning the embrace with a surprising softness. He left his arms draped around Rock quietly, staying like that, intimately close.
Rock made a small noise, wanting this moment, this closeness to last. When he spoke, the words came easily. All that time struggling with his thoughts, practising speeches, and it came smoothly and naturally, "I'm sorry… I wasn't disgusted by you. I… It was just so shocking. I didn't know how to help you." He reached out with a slightly shaking hand and rest it on the side of Forte's face gently. "I want to help you..." he murmured idly.
Forte opened his mouth to say something, and suddenly Rock was kissing him, tongue pushing up to meet his, and he welcomed it, arms encircling him tighter as he wrestled for control of the kiss. His hands roved, groping onto Rock's blanket, using it to pull the shorter boy closer, invite him into his personal space. Stay... he wanted Rock to stay by his side, break through the emotional wall he'd entombed himself in.
It didn't take long for Rock to submit, and he tipped him back on the stairs, pulling his body up to his and moaning into his mouth quietly as the kiss consumed his thoughts. It wasn't as rough or demanding as the kiss at the theatre had been, but felt more passionate, more binding. They were content for awhile with just the kiss, Forte's hand caressing his body lightly, staying away from his more erogenous areas but coming close, spiking his pleasure nodes but going no further.
He wasn't sure how long they stayed that way, but when finally Forte pulled his mouth away, the moon had fully risen. They stared at each other silently for several minutes, at a loss for words, not wanting to dissolve the atmosphere around them. Finally Forte leaned in again slowly, giving him a surprisingly innocent peck on the cheek as Rock was pulled into a sitting position again. His hair brushed almost ghost-like against his face for just a second. Then he settled against Forte's warmth and let his thoughts gather again from their scattered state.
"I don't want to leave." Forte murmured, pulling Rock closer and running his fingers through his hair idly. "I want to stay here, with you." His life had changed so much in the past months, for the better. This was what he wanted, this was what he'd wanted for a long time now. He only wished it hadn't taken his conversation with Blues for him to realize it. He was in love with Rock, and Rock was in love with him. He wasn't going to let his past prevent him from what could be a very happy future.
Rock was staring at him silently, looking both in shock and anticipation. "Rock... it's been hell without you. I don't want to live like this anymore." He used his grip on Rock's hair to tilt his head back and kissed him again, insistent and tender. He didn't want to run from his past anymore, running was so exhaustive; he would learn from his past instead, and use it to make his current life better.
Rock returned the kiss eagerly, wrapping his arms around Forte's neck firmly and spreading his legs instinctively, letting Forte's hips rest between them. "Please don't leave." The younger boy's pelvis was pressing against his groin in a way that was making tangible thought all but impossible. "Stay with me, Forte... Whatever happened, It doesn't change how I feel about you." He choked on his words a little, burying his face in Forte's neck firmly.
"... I won't. I promise, I won't." Forte soothed, raking his tongue over the pale, tender flesh of Rock's neck. His skin was warm and soft, and he held onto Forte tighter, welcoming his advances openly. "I... I pushed you away, I'm so sorry." He tilted his head up slightly, kissing his jaw affectionately. "I've been such a fool."
"We've both been fools... I clammed up. I wanted to say so much to you. I never should have let you go before I told you that I... I'm in love with you, Forte." He said it with such a deep sincerity that Forte didn't doubt the truth behind his words. He leaned up more, planting a sweet kiss on Forte's forehead, and the taller boy grabbed him suddenly, hips sliding forward to meet Rock's. The older boy writhed with an animated moan as his body urged Forte silently on.
It was easy to gauge Rock's readiness, he could feel the heat and stiffness pressed tight against his belly. An exciting, almost electric pulse ran through his groin, and he bit onto Rock's ear gently in anticipation. "... let's leave the past where it is, the present is much more interesting." He cleared his throat as Rock turned an impossible shade of red. "I want you. I want to take you upstairs and have you, right now." He sighed, arms still encircling him as he ran his fingers slowly down Rock's spine. "It's a little soon for that, but..."
"I want you too. I want to go upstairs." Rock agreed, offering no resistance and just as much thought. His mind had been made up as soon as Forte reciprocated his feelings. Forte rest a hand on his cheek, stroking it gently, and he kissed his palm lightly, suddenly aware of their surroundings.
"We should go before we get caught out here." His voice was barely a whisper, and Forte lifted off him suddenly, and he almost resisted, halting only because the Wily bot bent forward, kissing his forehead with an unmistakable tenderness as he pulled his companion closer still, He gathered him up in his arms swiftly, slipping through the screen door with him quietly.
"Okay…" He murmured with as much reluctance as he could muster – which wasn't much. Rock was just so agreeable, he couldn't help but feel a little concerned that he didn't know what he was getting himself into – hell, he wasn't fully aware of what situation they were getting into yet. Things were moving so fast, but they just seemed so... so right.
The drive was there, Rock was ready and willing, and he honestly didn't think he could hold back any longer. He was tired of resisting, not when such strong words had just passed between them; it wasn't so much a want as a need anymore. He kissed Rock one last time, more to reassure himself than anything, then headed up the stairs with him quickly and quietly, earning a reassuring nuzzle from Rock for his efforts.
The house was still and silent, and they made ascent of the staircase blissfully undisturbed. That was just as well, Forte definitely wasn't sure he was ready for that line of questioning yet; he planned to put that off for as long as he could possibly manage. Something told him that Rock wouldn't give him a hard time about that either. He seemed to be working twice as hard as Forte at keeping silent, giving him a disapproving look when his foot came down on a step with a slight creek.
He carried Rock to his room and stared at the bed quietly, and his stomach turned a little as he almost lost his nerve. Rock's bed was unmade, the blankets on it a rumpled mess. He stared at them with silent, momentary revulsion, It wasn't Rock's blankets his mind saw, it was the nest of blankets he'd once been content sleeping on at the fortress, in another lifetime. It was oppression, cruelty, and pain he was thinking of. Intimate pain. The kind he wanted to bury deep inside him and never have to think about it again. The kind that-
A hand rested over his, gripping it firmly, and he was brought rather sharply back to reality, to a normal, unmade bed. Rock clasped Forte's larger hand in two of his own, kissing it deftly and comfortingly. His eyes were filled with concern, adoration... love. His eyes were so intense it was almost painful to look into them. "Forte..."
One look into that gentle gaze, and Forte's reluctance dissolved. "It's okay." Forte murmured, turning back to Rock and kissing his forehead tenderly. "I'm alright…" He reassured the Light bot with, paused, then followed it up with "I'm ready." Rock hadn't asked, but he hadn't needed to. Forte knew he'd been thinking it.
Rock nodded with a small jerk, losing a little of his grace in the process. Worry still glinted in his eyes, but he didn't question him further. He couldn't have, even if he'd wanted to. Forte took that slight, rough nod as a moment of opportunity and tilted Rock's chin, pulling his face up to Forte's and kissing him in one smooth, fluid movement. He pulled Rock tight to him, taking in Rock's small sigh and pressing their bodies together again with a fresh burst of sensation.
The smaller boy didn't resist, and he allowed Forte to guide him down to the mattress trustingly. The taller boy settled over Rock carefully, knees resting on either side of his slender hips, and clenching his legs tight around him, almost pinning him. Rock leaned up slightly, welcoming the closeness and urging him on further with kisses. He did his best to distract the Wily bot from whatever fleeting, unpleasant thoughts he might have, not wanting them to interrupt any further activities between them. He sensed how important it was that this night go perfectly.
Forte had no intention of anything interrupting them, however, and he secretly marvelled at how confident and sure of himself Rock seemed right now. Apparently not even a situation like this could sway his personality. It seemed Rock was going to follow through with his decided best course of action, and he wasn't going to let small something small like a lack of experience stop or even hold him up. It was impressive, to say the least.
Watching Rock arch up to press teasingly against his tortured groin , Forte decided even that might not really be true.. He found himself questioning just how pure the Light bot really was. It would certainly explain why he'd never seen either of the Light boys actively seeking a partner. He couldn't help a small snort at the thought of Tom living completely oblivious to his creations living an incestuous lifestyle under his nose.
Rock interrupted his thoughts suddenly. "What are you thinking about?" He asked curiously, looking slightly bewildered. Forte realized that Rock probably thought he was laughing at him, which really wasn't all that far from the truth. Even now he wore a badly masked grin. Sadly, it was too late to cover it now; definitely not one of his smoothest moments.
Before he could muster up a piss-poor excuse, Rock spoke up again. "You're making a strange face, is it uncomfortable?" He shifted up, then down a little beneath Forte, trying to accommodate his weight and height difference, and Forte gave a small moan at the firm, rubbing sensation it made. "Forte...?" The Wily bot's face was a deep shade of red currently.
"Y-you don't want to know." He muttered lamely, pulling Rock up to kiss him again, doing his best to silence the older robot. He gave Rock a weak grin, which the boy returned in full, and went back to kissing him. Slowly, sensually, he guided a hand up the smaller boy's shirt, pinching and teasing a pink, tender nipple. His other hand found its way under Rock's pyjama bottoms, and the boy gave a small quiver, like a taut string.
Rock tried to lean up again, to give the younger boy another firm kiss, and Forte let him. He clung onto Forte like a leech, hands working busily to shed him of his clothes while the taller boy worked hard to do the same. His hand went down slowly, over curve and concave, finally reaching its destination as Forte released a harsh , feral attempt at a sigh. He shoved Rock back against the bed again, bearing him down on him with his weight.
The first thing Forte realized when the biting chill finally shook him out of the half sleep he'd fallen into was that the stars were almost completely gone. He sat up a little straighter, almost sure that it had all been part of some crazy dream now souring into a nightmare, then he realized why they were gone. It was almost daybreak already.
After their nap, they had come out together to the roof and had made love again, equally arduous as their first time together. They rest after, Forte with his arms wrapped loosely around Rock, holding him in his lap as he slept and waiting for the sun to rise. At some point he must have drifted off again, joining the older robot in sleep.
He groaned lightly, hoping that Tom hadn't decided to wake up early this morning, and that Blues had decided to finally mind his own damned business and steer clear of Rock's room – and the roof. He sat up straighter,trying to shake Rock awake gently, amused – the boy had fallen into an outright sleep, and when he was limp he was heavy.