Author's Note: Yeah, stories are going up slow because it hurts to type. It's easy to write, but it's painful otherwise. I'm working on these though. Don't fret. The next one was inspired by a move in the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja 2 video game that Shizune has. Play as her. It's quite cute if you know what I'm talking about. Freaking piggy. I love that pig.

Notes/Warnings:Pig attack, name calling, and general bitchiness from Sasuke.

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Hog Style
ByMint Pizza Queen

"Tsunade-baaaa-chaaaan!" Naruto bounded into the Hokage's office at full throttle, dragging a very irritated Sasuke with him. Both boys stopped and surveyed the room when the lady's presence was undetected. Naruto did notice Shizune and bounced to her. "Hey, hey, where's the old lady, huh?"

Shizune looked up from feeding Ton Ton and smiled. "She's on lunch break. She'll be back." The woman paused with a pout. "At least she better be. She's a pain sometimes, you know?"

The blond laughed. "Yeah, she's a pain all right! But that's Granny for yah!"

"Can we go now, Naruto?" Sasuke asked with irritation laced in his tone from being dragged around and ignored. "It's obvious the old hag isn't around. I have stuff I want to do, and I don't plan on wasting anymore time with tweedle-dumb here."

Shizune twitched. "E-excuse me?"

He hugged. "You heard me. I didn't stutter."

"You do not have the right to insult Lady Tsunade!" Shizune towards over the Uchiha, eyes ablaze. "I don't care what you say about me, but insulting the Lady when she's not here is unjust!"

"You were calling her a pain," Sasuke pointed out with a hiss.

"Yes, but even she herself has admitted being a pain. However, calling her an old hag is not right. She is not an old hag!" The pig oinked angrily in agreement.

Sasuke waved a hand. "Whatever. I'm out of here. I'm not going to waste my time with the old fart's old main and her pet BLT in the making." With that, he made his way to leave but a loud growl stopped him.

"You—" Shizune glared, finger pointing savagely at him. "-are finished! Nobody calls me an old maid OR calls Lady Tsunade names!"

"Except me!" Interjected Naruto a bit too cheerfully.

"Except Naruto, yes of course," She amended sweetly before returning to her previous mood. "You're going to pay!" She stood determined and threw out an arm. "Hog Style: Ton Ton!"

There was a flash, and a blur of pink. Just as quickly, the Uchiha found himself lying in a dirt road with several villagers hovering over him worriedly.

"Are you okay, son?" An elderly man asked.

"Okay, that was brilliant!"

Sasuke rose and saw Naruto approaching with the biggest grin on his face.

"I can't believe it; it happened, but I can't believe it!"


"You just got your ass whooped by a pet pig! A pig!" Naruto put his hands together to show the size. "A pig about this big knocked you clear out of the building. It was great. You spun like a top, too." He laughed.

The Uchiha made a horrified face. "Naruto, would you shut up!?"

"Nah, this is too funny." The blond grinned. "Congratulations, Sasuke. You're the first person to piss Shizune off enough that you made her sic her pig on you. How do you feel?"

Sasuke twitched and refused to answer.

-The End-