Disclaimer: All characters are property of JK Rowling. The plot, such as it is, is mine.

A/N: Written for the October Challenge at Granger Enchanted which required the use of school skirt & tie as well as the lines: "Every school boys dream is to have a naked Gryffindor on top of them." and "I knew all that time spent in the library would be beneficial."

This is a bit of smutty fun, if that is not your thing, shield your eyes and click the back button now, otherwise... enjoy!

I. Am. Drunk. That extra special magical level of drunkenness where everyone is my best friend and incredibly good looking. I love being this drunk. This is the best party ever. I don't even know who threw it, but they are my new best friend. I wonder where the bar got off to. Hey look, it's Harry! He's my best friend too. He looks funny. Oh right, a costume. I forgot this was a costume party. I wish I had a costume. Hey, I'm wearing my old school uniform. That can be my costume. I wonder where my tie went.


"Harry! You're my best friend!" He smiles at me.

"Hermione, you're wasted."

"Yes, isn't it marvelous, you don't look so sober yourself." He smiled again. He smelled funny, kind of sharp and smoky. He and Neville must have been 'studying herbology' again. Silly boys. Now where did that firewhiskey get to? The redhead with Harry is looking at me funny. "Harry," I whisper, "be careful with that girl, you don't want Ginny to find out." She's glaring at me now. I need to work on that whisper. Damn, she looks just like Ginny. Weird. Now, I need to find some more booze before I lose this spectacular buzz. There's Professor McGonagall, she'll know where the booze is. I walk over to her. A table bumps into me on the way. How rude.


"Hermione!" She's cheerful too; she must be drunk.

"Professor, have you seen the liquor?"

"I haven't been your professor in five years girl; call me Minerva."

"Okay." I give her a big hug. She's my best friend.

"Dear, don't you think you've had enough to drink?"


"Ha! Five points to Gryffindor for a very correct answer." She slaps me on the back. For an old lady, she can pack quite a wallop. "This way!" I follow her through the crowd. This is so cool, I know all these people. I have so many friends. I wonder if any of them want to have sex with me. I hope so. Drunken sex is the best.

Minerva found the bar and yay, Flitwick has a line of shots all ready for us. He's my best friend. I can't believe I'm drinking a round with my old professors. Who knew they knew how to party? A wizard grabs me around the waist and leans into me to reach a shot on the bar. It's my lucky night! Mmm, dark hair, dark eyes, strong arms, wearing a toga. Definitely my lucky night. He's still holding onto me while he downs his drink and drops the glass.

"Hmm, naughty schoolgirl, Hermione? I never would have guessed," he slurs in my ear. He runs his free hand down my chest, giving my breast a light squeeze on the way. Ding, ding, we have a winner folks! "Where's your tie, little girl?"

"I don't know." I use my best breathy voice possible. "How about we go somewhere dark and quiet and try to find it." I press a finger to his lips. Oh, I'll be kissing those in just a minute. He smirks down at me. Damn he's good looking. They make them hot in Hufflepuff.

Uh-oh, something's wrong. He's as pale as his toga, he's letting go of me… and he's down. Crap.

"Mr. Flitch-Fen—, Mr. Fletch-Fin— , Justin!" Minerva's trying to rouse him now. Damn. Damn. Double damn. I was so close this time! Justin's not waking up. Sigh. Best take another shot and be on my way before Flitwick starts looking good. Hmm, I wonder what it would be like. He's so small… Oh, Ron and Luna are here!

"Lon, Runa!" I give them big hugs. They're my best friends.

"Wow, Hermione, you're drunk."

"She's more than drunk; she's completely pissed!"

"I believe the phrase is 'tore up from the floor up'." I am so smart. They just look at me. "I love you, Ron." He looks white. I hope he doesn't pass out too. "I mean, you're my best friend. You and Minerva."

"Minerva? Hermione are you mental?"

"No she's wonderful, she gave me house points!" I really need to use the loo. "I really need to use the loo. Toodles." I wave them goodbye. I wonder where the loo is. There are so many people here; there has to be a bathroom somewhere. Maybe this door. Oops, that's a closet. And it's occupied. Hi, people, have fun fucking! Don't mind me. Well, shoot, I'll try these stairs. Great. A hallway full of doors. One of these has to be a toilet. Please, please let one of them be. I try the first couple doors. Locked. Locked. Locked. Damn. I pound on a door and give the handle a shake. It opens. Cool! Oh, it opened because a man opened it. A tall, dark, handsome man.


"What do you want?" Well, good sir, I want sex. Now. And you look like a fine candidate to me.

"May I use your bathroom?" Where did that come from? He's scowling at me. How can he be cranky? He could use some firewhiskey. It does wonders. Look how fabulous I am. He's still glaring at me. "Pleeeeease!" He rubs his face with his hand.


I run past him to the bathroom. Thank Merlin, I make it in time. That would be embarrassing. I suppose I should shut the door. Sweet blessed relief. I feel so much better. Now to attend to other biological matters; wait, maybe I ought to put my knickers back on. Nope. Too difficult. Must press on without them. I go back out to the main room. This looks just like one of the rooms at the Leaky. That looks like Diagon Alley out the window. Hey, it's filled with drunk people. Just like me!

"Ahem." My new cranky friend is standing by the door. I think he wants me to leave. He needs help. I smile at him. He is quite dashing. Fit body, long face, pale skin, blue eyes. Looks Russian. And that dark brown hair with a touch of grey. Yum. A little older than I'm used to, but there is something to be said for years of experience.

I walk up to him and stand an inch away. He doesn't step back. Good sign. "What are you doing up here all by your lonesome?" He smiles.

"Let's just say I don't have many friends here."

"Really, I have loads of friends." Duh, Hermione, be sexy! That was stupid, he'll think you're a drunk tart. Oh, wait.

"I'm sure you do. You should get back to them." Not good, not good.

"What if I want to stay here…" He looks intrigued now girl; keep going. "…and make sure you have a good time?" I think he just blushed.

"Are you sure about that child?" Child? Really!

"I'm not a child! I'm 23!" That was mature, Hermione, way to make a point. He's laughing at me. Time to regroup. I hook my fingers in his trousers. He's not laughing now. My thumb flicks open the button. He grabs me, one hand clutches my hair and pulls it back so I have to look up at him. It hurts, but in a very, very good way. He lowers his mouth to my neck and proceeds to nip and suck at it. He's holding me tight so I can't reach him. I squirm enough to free my right hand which I use to unbutton his shirt. Damn, this man takes care of himself. Smooth chest too. Double yum. He finally releases me and we stumble to the bed. His quick fingers have my shirt and bra off before we get there. My sex is pulsing; I need him so bad. He's too busy working his magic on my breasts right now and that is not a bad thing. Not at all. I can't put this off anymore though, so I push him back on the bed and climb on top of him, pressing myself against his hard erection. Crap, I forgot to get his pants off first. Fiery fingers burn their way up my thighs. He's going slow on purpose, the evil, evil man. Hold on, he looks confused. He gives my skirt a flip and hey, it's my tie! How did it get wrapped around my thigh?

I stretch up so he can pull my skirt over my head. He seems content to leave the tie in place. He is touching me everywhere except where I need him to. Bastard. I rub against him desperately to get a little friction going since he's denying me. He continues to caress me with long strokes.

"Why weren't there girls like you when I was in school?" He gasped the words.

"C'mon, every school boy's dream is to have a naked Gryffindor on top of them."

"I, um, I guess so. I don't know. I went to Durmstrang."

I had to laugh at him. He grabs me by the hips and yanks me forward then moves down so his face is under me. Surely he's not going to… Oh… He is. Oh, total stranger that I just met ten minutes ago, where have you been all my life? I reach up and grip the headboard to steady myself as his tongue slides across my soft lips. I can't help but shudder. It's absolute heaven. He pushes his tongue harder into me. This is almost unbearable. I moan and whimper, but he keeps on. I'm getting dizzy. I know it has to be soon. Aaaaaaaah! He nips my clit and I come completely undone for him.

I can't think. I can barely breathe. He slid off the bed, hopefully to lose those pants. I'm still on my knees gripping the headboard. Dear Merlin, did I ever bang on the right door tonight. He's back and gloriously naked this time. I arch back against him and he resumes his maddening strokes along my body.

"Are you ready for more?" He's whispering right in my ear. My supercharged senses are reeling at that hot breath in my hair. Apparently, I'm not answering soon enough. He grazes my earlobe with his teeth. "Hmm?" He's rubbing his fingers against my sex now. How am I supposed to think when he does this, let alone talk? He slides one finger in, then two. I can't hold back a yelp. Not very sexy Hermione, but I think it hardly matters at this point.

"Yes, please, now!" I buck against his hand, reaching back with my own to find his cock. It's hard and thick and as ready for me as I am for it. I grip the base and tug lightly toward me. He gets the hint. With a firm grip on my hair, he pushes me down on the bed, his other arm holding my hips up. Doggy style. My favorite. Without hesitation, he thrusts in all the way, filling me so completely I'm absolutely breathless. Drunken sex really is the best.

I'm moaning and panting into the bedspread. Each stroke makes me more delirious. He's hitting all the right spots and making all sorts of noises of his own. His thrusts are becoming more frantic. I can feel his cock twitch inside of me. I can't hold on anymore and come all around him. I've never had such a workout and the firewhiskey isn't helping out on that front. As soon as he pulls out of me, I collapse on the bed and instantly pass out.

Hmm, I feel so good. My cunt is still tingling from my new best friend's masterful work. My head doesn't even hurt! Probably because I'm still drunk. It's dark. I must not have slept long. My leg hurts where the tie was. I don't know where it's gone off to this time. We're both under the covers. He's out cold. I wonder if he'd like another go. I stretch and rub my body against his. Nothing. I am fully awake and ready to be ravished. Oh well, desperate times call for desperate measures. I shimmy under the covers and straddle his legs. With one good lick, his cock stirs to life. I continue to lick and suck until he is totally hard for me. I take as much of it in my mouth as I can. Suddenly, there are fingers in my hair, caressing my scalp and tugging on a strand here or there. Somebody's awake. I start to massage his balls and he grips my shoulder. Hard. I take it that means good job. I have to come up for air. When I do, he pulls me up to face him. We're both breathing hard. He looks wild with desire. I'm sure I look the same. He rolls us over so his weight is crushing down on me. It feels wonderful. I spread my legs in invitation. Hardly needed though. This time, however, he pushes in with agonizing slowness. I have to admit he feels amazing. What did I do to deserve a royal shag from a hot, sexy stranger? There has to be a catch. He pulls all the way out and slides in again. I hook my ankles behind him to take him a little deeper. Oh, mercy, that does the trick. His face is right next to mine, so much so his light stubble scratches my cheek. I turn my head so I can lick the shell of his ear. He shudders and starts thrusting more forcefully. So that's the key! I work my way down his neck. Damn, even his neck is sexy. I decide to up the ante and scrape my fingernails up his back. Bingo. He's really going now. I can't think anymore. I give up my effort on his neck because breathing in and out is too complicated a task right now. Oh… Good… Gracious. He's going to make me come again. Mmm, third time's the charm.

"Yes, oh yes!" Thank you sir! He slumps on to me after he comes. I love the feel of that warm weight on top of me, his cock still inside me. I feel totally secure. It looks like it's his turn to pass out first. He kisses me on the cheek and rolls off. How sweet. I realize we never really kissed. I snuggle into his arms and yawn. This was the best party ever.

"Ow." My head hurts. I try to open my eyes, but it's all a blur. Ever so slowly, the room comes into focus. It's definitely a room at the Leaky. I recognize the ugly curtains. There are arms wrapped around me and a warm body at my back. Oh yes, I remember now. How could I forget? What a fantastic night; I hope I wasn't crap. My mouth is sticky. Bleh. I hate that. I need to use the loo again. It's getting real urgent, real fast. I wriggle free of his arms and scoot off the bed. He shifts, but doesn't wake. Damn, he looks good. Uh, bathroom. Now.

Goodness, I'm a mess. I rinse my mouth out and clean up a bit in the sink. I really want to take a bath. I wonder if he'd mind or if I should just go home. I need to find my clothes first. Well, here are my knickers on the floor. That's a start. I sneak back into the room. He's still asleep. I find my shirt on the floor. It looks like the buttons are missing in action though. I think the skirt came off on the bed somewhere. Shoot, it's half under his pillow. I tug on it as lightly as possible. He stirs. Again, he doesn't wake up. He stretches, leaving his left arm above his head. There is a faint mark on it. That's a funny place for a tattoo.


Crap. Crap. Double crap. What have I done? He's a Death Eater! And I shagged him! Eew! I stumble back and hit a table. A stack of dishes fall off with a humongous crash. Brilliant Hermione! He leaps up from the bed, confused, but recovering fast. He's smiling at me.

"Good morning to you too, love." I'm absolutely horrified. He takes a few steps closer and grips my shoulders. My traitorous body starts to tingle. He's still smiling at me. Quite cheekily actually. "Not having regrets are you?"

Oh, you have no idea.

I search my brain. He does look familiar, is that because I know him or because I spent all night shagging him? Those fantastic fingers of his are trailing down my body. I take a sharp breath and try to make my best 'not terrified' face. Relax! Relax! If he was going to hurt you, he would have done it by now. He brushes over the long thin scar on my chest and scowls.

He leans down and plants kisses along the silvery line. That should not be turning me on. I should be plotting my escape, not… Oh… He's massaging my breasts. Oh, he can stop that. In half an hour.

"What gave you that?" His breath is hot on my skin and I am losing my battle with myself to stay in control. I got that scar in my fifth year. The fight at the Ministry. Dolohov. Oh no, no, no, no, no. Dolohov. I feel like a ghost just passed through me. He's looking at me strangely; he's noticed something's up.

"You." Bad thing to say. Very bad. Why not add 'Hey, I'm Harry Potter's best friend, remember him, he killed your old boss? Oh and by the way, why aren't you in Azkaban?'

"What?" He stops caressing me and straightens up to his full height, hands back on my shoulders. I give up trying to not be terrified. I attempt a step back, but the table is blocking my way. He's studying me carefully. I really need to re-evaluate some of my life choices. Otherwise I wouldn't be trapped here, unarmed and unclothed, with one of Voldemort's most notorious followers. Ogden's Old Firewhiskey, you are so not my best friend!

My eyes flick to his arm. Damn, he saw that. "Oh, is that what this is about? Old news, love, nothing to fret about now." His eyes travel back to my chest and I can see it dawns on him what I meant earlier. He stiffens, and not in a good way. He lets go of me. Now's my chance to… To what? I can't outrun him even if I did want to go streaking down the hall. Never taking my eyes off him, I fumble on the table behind me. There are a few old books I didn't knock off earlier. He looks melancholy a moment and opens his mouth to say something. I don't wait to find out what though. I grab a book and swing it as hard as possible at his head. He drops like a ton of bricks. I knew all that time spent in the library would be beneficial. I throw on my clothes and dash into the hallway so I can apparate home. I never found my tie. I'm not sure I want to know where it went.