AN: Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews. I really love you guys. You're the best!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The song belongs to the Scissor Sisters.
PROPS TO THE PERSON WHO GETS THE JOKE ON LILY'S SHIRT.
Chapter 14: I Can't Decide
I can't decide
Whether you should live or die
Oh, you'd probably go to heaven
Please don't hang your head and cry
"Stop being so stupid!" James shouted as he tugged on his tie. "I look just fine!" Sirius rolled his eyes. Eighteen, out of Hogwarts, and still such an idiot.
"No, you don't. You look like a moron. You should have worn a bow tie."
"I think he looks just fine, Padfoot," Remus shrugged. "Handsome as ever." James beamed and stuck his tongue out childishly. Sirius sighed in exasperation. "Okay, Black, tell us. What exactly is wrong with the way James looks?"
"Everything!" Sirius shouted. James frowned while Remus shook his head and rubbed his temples. "His hair looks as if he just got up, his tie has polka-dots on it, POLKA-DOTS, and no, James, I don't care what Lily wanted! Your lips are chapped and one of your sleeves is longer than the other, trust me I know. You put the cufflinks on wrong, there's lint all over your pants, there's something in your teeth," James' eyes widened as he began to rub his teeth with his finger rapidly. "And you look quite…large in this outfit."
"Oh now he's done it," Remus muttered.
James' lip began to tremble as he stared into the mirror. "Sirius is right! I look… I look hideously fat!"
Peter sniggered from the couch. "Prongs, you aren't fat at all, and another thing! What's wrong with being heavy?"
He flinched, smiling innocently. "Nothing, nothing at all!" He turned to look at his profile. "I've just been working hard to keep this physique." All of the marauders snorted at their friend. "What?! I can't go around waddling on Auror missions. I have to keep fit."
"Don't tell Alastor that," Sirius laughed. "He'll give us another one of those speeches…and then he'll add 'constant vigilance' in it somewhere, just for fun."
James straightened and looked at his friends unhappily. "I don't know guys. Maybe Sirius is right. I look horrid."
"What?! Don't listen to him!"
"Seriously, Prongs, you're going to listen to the boy who wears footy-pajamas at the age of eighteen?" Remus drawled.
Sirius swirled around and glared. "They're comfortable and warm in the winter!"
"Socks while sleeping?" Sirius asked in disgust. "That's ridiculously uncomfortable."
James turned red and stomped his feet like a child. "SHUT UP! THIS IS ABOUT ME RIGHT NOW!"
Lily giggled as she twisted her hips to and fro. Adeline smiled sadly behind her. Lily turned to look at her friend. Her eyes darkened. Severus and she were getting so close when suddenly Adeline's father swooped in and married her off to a muggle. Adeline was never sure what had happened. Her father had approved of the boy in her letters. When she asked, all the man ever told her was that he had connections that told him Severus Snape was someone not to deal with. Severus remained emotionless. It was easy to tell he was heartbroken, both of them were. He took it as a sign that he was meant to love no one but Lily, to live a lonely life.
Lily shook her head. "Smile," She whispered. "It'll get better."
"That's what you think," Adeline sighed. "Oh Lily, you look so beautiful."
Lily grinned and turned back to the mirror. Her dress wasn't simple, but it wasn't over the top either.
"Do you think James will appreciate it?" She asked softly.
Adeline nodded. "Oh he definitely will. You'll have him weak in the knees."
"I've always had him weak in the knees," She replied slyly.
The two laughed. "Hey!" They heard. Alice came into the room, tapping her foot. "Maid of Honor is waiting!" She said impatiently.
"As if she was the one who's getting married today," Frank said behind her. Sarcasm was dripping in his words. "Come along, Alice. You'll have your day soon enough."
Lily frowned in horror. "That's it?"
James shrugged nonchalantly. "Yup."
Lily gave him a cool look. "Are you sure that's it?"
"Yea, what else is there to say?"
She gave him a frustrated sigh. "Well!" She exclaimed. "If this is all I mean to you- some disheveled, slapdash of saying 'will you marry me?' then no! James Potter I will not-"
Suddenly she heard loud cackling in the sky. She looked up to see, written in fireworks, "LILY, I WOULD BE HONORED TO BE YOUR HUSBAND. MARRY ME?"
She gasped. "James," she cooed. "It's so…clichéd!"
His shoulders slumped. "What? I thought you wanted something magnificent?!"
"It is! It is!" She laughed. He grinned as he got down onto his knee. His eye suddenly widened and his hand flew to the small of his back.
"Ow!" he cried.
Lily was instantly at his side. "What happened?"
"It hurts!" He whined as he fell onto the grass. "Oh my god, make it stop! I feel like something is stabbing my back! Ugh! I think I pulled something!" She sat next to him on the grass, waiting for him to feel better, but the rain started to pour down and Lily wanted to take him in. "Wait! Lily!"
"What is it?" She asked as she tried to pull him off the ground.
"What's more romantic than asking in the rain?" She stopped and looked down at him. His hair was splayed on the wet grass and his eyes were twitching as the rain continued to hit his face. He took the ring out of his pocket and held it up to her face. "Lily Evans!" He shouted over the thunder. "Marry me?"
"James, we're going to get sick!" She laughed as tears streaked down her face.
"Marry me, Lily!"
"Of course I will!"
"James, just put this on and-"
"No, he's going to listen to me because he knows that that tie looks hideous and-"
"Sirius, Remus, stop fighting! This is MY wedding day and-"
"Do you think they have those cheese balls that you can put onto crackers and that chomp on? Oh would you all calm down!"
"Dear gods, none of you are invited to my wedding with Alice! I forbid it!"
"Would you just listen and-"
"No, shut up because James has to put this lovely tie on."
"All I'm saying is that I really like appetizers and-"
"HEY! HEY! WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" Alice was standing at the door, holding her dress up so she wouldn't trip. The men noticed that she was looking around the room in horror. Water was pouring out of the cracked vases that were thrown across the room, tables were overturned and chair cushions were ripped, fluff poking out. "Guys…you did remember that this isn't our room, right? This is the churches room. Good Merlin, Lily is going to kill you five!"
"Alice, don't!" James said, waving his wand so that everything was repaired. "Don't tell Lily, okay? This is her big day and I don't want her stressed out. She's already been so tense for the past couple of months."
Alice snorted with a shake of her head. "She's a crazy one, you're marrying."
"Blue or Purple?"
Alice's eyes popped out. The redhead was sitting on her bed, papers scattered around her. "For…your wedding dress?" She asked in confusion.
"No, you're right, you're right. Too plain… how about gold with red polka dots? Maybe hot pink with orange flames on the bottom?"
"Lily, why don't you just calm down for a bit and listen to what you're saying."
"What am I saying wrong?" She asked. Alice grimaced, deciding not to test her best friend's limit.
"Okay! I'm here!" She heard behind her. Adeline walked into the room quickly. "What's going- Oh my Merlin!"
Lily's frown deepened. "What is it? What's wrong?"
"We might have to call James," Adeline whispered. "I'll be right back… floo network?"
"Right next to my room," Alice answered back.
Lily tapped her chin. "Alice! I can have you wear the Hogwarts uniform! Wouldn't that be cute?" She stared laughing hysterically. Alice quickly took a step back. She peered into the hallway and was relieved to see James coming in through the fireplace. A look of concern was on his face. He walked towards her with a frown.
"Your fiancée's gone insane," she hissed. "Before she started talking about odd colored wedding dresses, she told me that she wanted you to wear a neon orange suit with a lilac shirt inside!"
James scowled. "I'm sure it isn't that bad." He looked into the room with a grin. "Lily B- bejesus! What in God's name-!" Lily's usually flat red hair was disarrayed and sticking up in every which way. She looked as if she had stolen clothes from a sumo wrestler and her eyes were sunken in. "Lily?" He asked quietly. "What's the matter love?"
Lily gasped and stood on her bed, pulling the covers with her. The papers flew off the blanket and landed on the floor. "James Potter!" She huffed. "You aren't supposed to see that bride in her wedding dress!"
James' jaw dropped. "Lily! You're in a shirt that says 'I Search the Skies for a Blue Police Box (It responds to the name TARDIS)'…" James glanced at Alice in confusion. "What's a TARDIS?"
Lily suddenly screeched loudly. Adeline covered her ears while Alice and James glowered at her. "ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T LIKE MY WEDDING DRESS?!"
James pinched the bridge of his nose. He spent half that night ducking vases, healing paper cuts, and looking down to see himself dressed in eccentrically designed suits.
"Let's…move on now, shall we?" Frank stated. "I agree with Remus, Sirius. That tie looks hideous. He should wear that green one. It matches Lily's eyes."
Sirius crossed his arms and sulked in the corner. "Stupid freaks who don't know fashion," he muttered.
"I HEARD THAT YOU CHEEKY BASTARDS!" they heard. James gasped and his eyes lit up.
"Lily Bean!" He squealed. "Are you outside?" He looked down to see a white dress brush by the doorway.
"James! You can't see me yet! I just wanted to say I could hear your screaming from the other side of the church and I thought I told you to shut up about my stress breakdown!"
"Oh, Tiger Lily-"
"James, stop right there, I know you're coming towards the door."
He stopped in his tracks with a pout.
"Wipe that frown of your face, love."
"How did you-"
"I know you! Duh!"
James laughed. "Lily Pad, why don't you go back to your room? It's time for me to go up to the alter." He heard a choked sob before the pattering of feet.
James, Sirius and Frank scoffed. "Women."
"Excuse me?" Alice asked icily.
"Nothing," Frank quickly said before pushing her out of the room. "Hurry up, fellas. Our boy is about to hit his next milestone."
Lily giggled as James kissed her neck. They watched their friends dance around the dance floor. "You're my husband," She whispered to him.
"I'd hope so," He told her sarcastically. They leaned in to kiss each other, but Sirius' drunk calling interrupted them. Lily growled as they turned to look at their friend. Remus was trying to keep him up, a frown on his face. James laughed and went over to them. Lily sighed. She knew James wasn't drunk, but once Sirius was, James would dump bottles down his throat. She rested her elbow on the table and put her chin on her palm, watching what would occur.
Luckily, James only drank two or three beers. Lily tilted her head. She was quite proud…until James stumbled backwards. She rolled her eyes. James never was able to hold his liquor. She decided to walk over and snatch him before he could do any harm. Besides, she had the best wedding present to give him.
She was pregnant.
She bounced her way to her husband with a smile on her face. Sirius was laughing, Peter was watching them with a grin, and Remus was shaking his head in horror. Lily frowned as she followed his gaze down to the floor. "Sirius, no!" Remus shouted, but it was too late. Sirius' foot was jotting out behind James and the poor man tripped backwards. Lily gasped.
To her horror, the wedding cake was behind James.
Cake splattered everywhere. People nearby were covered in icing. Lily looked down at her dress slowly. Small chunks were sliding off, leaving white and blue filling on the once pure white gown. Her face turned red as she looked around. All the guests were staring at her, wondering what she was going to do next.
"Boom!" Sirius slurred, pointing at James. He turned round, circling, as he looked around the room. "Boom! Boom!" Remus' jaw was dropped. Peter was slowly bring his icing covered finger into his mouth.
Lily shook violently as she watched James get off the cake and start laughing. "Boom!" He repeated. "Boom!"
"JAMES POTTER!" She shouted. "SIRIUS BLACK!"
The two turned to look at her. Sirius' eyes widened and he hid behind James, cowering. "Big boom! Big Boom!" He said, pointing at Lily.
James sobered a bit and he looked down at Lily's gown. "Now I'm in for it," He slurred.
Lily screeched. "I'm going to kill you!"