10 weeks later –

The physical therapist makes another note on her clipboard as she assesses Logan's ability to move. He's been doing well. At first you could see how hard it was, he'd sweat and get worked up over the smallest of things. But now he's walking almost fine with crutches and his bruises have healed, his bones have most mended and his overall health has increased.

She stops Logan as he tries to walk without his crutches and smiles.

"Well done, Logan. You've done a lot today. Wednesday we might try some swim therapy."

"Wednesday?" Logan questions, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Is there a problem?" She queries as you make your way to Logan's side.

"I was planning on going back to America this week."

"Logan you've had a serious accident. You're ability to move is not at full capacity just yet."

"I know, I know but I just think I'd do a lot better at home with my friends surrounding me. I could take physical therapy there and I can see a psychiatrist and I'll have weekly doctor visits."

"I'm fine for you to go home if you're willing to put in the hard work but it's your doctor you should speak to. See him about it and if he gives you the all clear then come back and see me before you leave and I'll give you a reference notice."

He nods and sits in the awaiting wheel chair. This is your usual routine. He works hard for hours at a time trying to gain his mobility back and then at the end he gets back in his wheel chair and you wheel him up 4 floors to his hospital room.

You smile down at him as you both get in the elevator. He grabs for your hand and kisses it lightly.

"We're going home, Ronnie."

He smiles and you smile back. But you're hiding something that he doesn't know.

--

The doctor gives the all clear for Logan to go home and a few days later you and he are at the airport with Danny, Nathan and Ryan checking your bags in and going through security. Logan carefully makes his way through the crowd on his crutches, the boys helping with his luggage as well as yours.

Ryan stays quiet, he still wants you to stay because he might just love you but you have to be with Logan. You can't leave him now. You make it to security where you are leaving the boys. Nathan hugs you tightly and tells you how much he'll miss you and Danny says something along the lines of that too.

Ryan doesn't.

"Do you have to go?"

"I do. Logan needs me."

"I'm sure he'll be fine without you. Send him on the plane, his other friends will look after him."

"He doesn't have other friends, Ryan. Besides Dick and me he's lonely and Dick's idea of looking after Logan is getting him chicks to fuck and feeding him alcohol."

"Please, Veronica, please. Don't go. I think I might love you and I think you might love me too."

You hug Ryan and kiss his cheek. Your bags go through security as do you and Logan. It's possibly the last time you'll ever see them.

Some time later you both board the plane. It's quiet between you both, neither knows what to say. It'll be your first time back for a long time and Logan's since the accident. He holds your hand and kisses your forehead.

Everything might be okay, you hope.

--

Wallace and Mac picked you and Logan up from the airport. You were greeted with a tight and long hug from Wallace and a somewhat awkward but very friendly welcome back from Mac. Both were surprised at Logan being in a wheel chair.

In the car everything is fast talked. Mac fills you in on the recent crimes and Wallace tells you about his new girlfriend. You casually tell them about your roommates and Logan sort of tells them about his hospital ordeal. No one dares to ask how he's doing. No one dares to ask if you and him are okay.

"Where are we heading? Logan's hotel or your apartment, Veronica?" Wallace asks, only then realising he hadn't asked to begin with.

You look at Logan and he looks at you and shrugs. You decide Logan's hotel would be best.

"Logan's hotel room."

Wallace nods and heads in the direction of the hotel. Mac starts talking about her new job at a huge computer company but you almost completely zone out taking in the sites of Neptune once again.

Wallace pulls up at a red light and you look out your window and straight into a police car. That of Don Lamb's. He doesn't recognise you for moments. Instead he glances at you, his eyebrows fuse together and he turns back to the front. Then he remembers you. He slowly turns back around to face you and a smirk creeps on his face as the green light appears as he heads off.

Not long after that you're almost up at Logan's hotel room. Wallace and Mac help you carry up all yours and Logan's bags and load them into the room. Dick's not there for once and you're glad he isn't. Because as soon as Mac and Wallace leave it's just you and Logan.

Logan finally exasperates once Mac and Wallace have left. He sighs and awkwardly makes his way onto the couch. You go over and help him slightly.

"Thanks." He mutters.

You smile and he pulls you down on top of him. You slightly giggle as he holds you close. He whispers how thankful he is that he has you back and how much he missed this and you smile into him as you rub your hands along his chest.

"Let's never leave each other again, okay? I know we're a mess together, we fight and scream and yell but it kills me each time we break up. Next time I may not survive."

"Logan I really don't want to talk about it."

He grimaces, you get off him and sit besides him. Logan stands up and walks away from you, you see he's in pain and offer to help but he dismisses your help and continues his painful walk to his bedroom.

A few minutes later he comes back out, hobbling towards you. You go to stand up but he tells you to sit down again. When he reaches you he looks like something is wrong.

"Logan what's wrong?" You ask.

"Please just shut up for 5 minutes okay?"

You nod.

"I've known you for a long time, since we were 12. I've watched you grow and learn and seen you go through hard times. I know it's hard to talk about but Lilly was a major part of our lives and maybe that's what brought us together to begin with. I was so desperate for her and you were the closest I could come to Lilly. But I realised that you're not like her at all."

"Logan where is this going?"

"Shut up Veronica. I've often wondered what would come of us in the future, would we keep this on going breaking up and making up charade? I don't know because I can't predict the future. I know one thing Veronica, I'm certain of this, that I love you and I will for years to come. So I'm asking one more time, maybe not tomorrow or next week or next year or even 4 years after that but one day Veronica Mars, will you do me the greatest honour of being my wife?"

You sit there in absolute shock. Sure, Logan has asked you to marry him once before but you said no and ran away to Australia. You want to say yes and make Logan happy but you're not sure if this is what you want. Do you want to marry Logan Echolls who you're most certain your future will be less than perfect.

"Logan…"

He stops you and leans down to kiss you, he winces and tenses as he does.

"Veronica, I know in that past I've done some things you don't approve of. Dick and Duncan for starters. But I love you and I was just trying to protect you."

"I know that. I know, Logan and I understand, it's just who you are."

"So then marry me. Let's spend the rest of our lives together."

You smile but inside your heart you know it's fake.

"Yes. I'll marry you, Logan."

He collapses on the couch beside you and wraps his arms around you. Logan holds you tightly.

"Do you want to have sex?" He whispers in your ear as he kisses your neck.

Honestly, the question confuses you. It's been many months since you'd experienced that once pleasurable feeling of Logan inside you.

"Um. I guess so. It's been awhile. Are you sure you're up to it? I mean you can barely walk, Logan."

He pulls his head back and looks at you puzzled.

"Do you even want to have sex with me?"

"Logan. Of course I do. I'm just thinking about your health. I don't want you to hurt your back or your leg or any part of you. I don't think it's wise that we do it just yet. What if I hurt you?"

He laughs. That throaty, gorgeous strictly Logan Echolls laugh.

"Veronica, trust me, you will not hurt me. Having sex with you is like sampling heaven."

You agree to have sex and follow him as he hobbles to the bedroom. It's not long before he's shut the door behind you both and is quickly making work of your clothes. Within 5 minutes you're naked and within another 5 minutes so is he.

"Do you want me to be on top?" You ask softly.

"That'd be a help." He smiles, kissing you.

He lies down on the bed and brings you forward with his eyes.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you." You whisper as you straddle his hips lightly.

His hand reaches in between you and his fingers run across your slick pussy. You stroke him slowly eventually your head dips down and you suck his cock for a minute or so.

"Oh God." He groans, pushing your head farther down.

You pull back and straddle his cock, it enters you slowly but surely and pushes deep within you. You give a little pleasured cry but you feel nothing but pleasure for the feeling. Nothing for Logan. It's just not the same.

"Are you okay?" He questions, seeing the distant look in your eyes.

"Fine."

You ride him until his climax reaches him and he explodes inside you. You fake your own and roll off him. He kisses your forehead and smiles.

"I love you, so much. We're going to get married. Can you believe it? Married."

"I know." You smile fakely.

You miss Ryan.

What? No you don't. You don't miss Ryan. Not at all. Do you? Of course you do. He wasn't Logan. That's why you miss him right?

--

Sitting with Mac at breakfast at your apartment as she rambles on about some new computer she got your mind wanders. She keeps talking oblivious to the fact that you're not listening to her. You keep thinking. You're thinking about your future, whether it be with Logan or not it's bleak right now.

Mac punches your arm, you glare at her.

"What was that for?"

"You weren't listening to me!"

"Yes I was." You lie.

"Okay, then what did I say?"

"You were talking about a new computer you bought. There."

Mac rolls her eyes. "That was like 10 minutes ago Veronica! I was telling you about my boyfriend."

"Wait…step back. You have a boyfriend?" You ask, all of a sudden interested.

"Yes. You know him. I'm actually asking for your approval. I mean I know what he did was so not cool Veronica but he's really sweet to me. I know sometimes he can be well a real dick, but I like him a lot."

"Who are you talking about?" You ask, not catching on.

"Dick. I'm talking about none other than Dick Casablancas."

"Are you sure? Because the Dick I know is never sweet. He raped me. Not to mention helped his brother rape me."

Mac looks down. You forgot about her heart break over Cassidy Casablancas. But for some reason you don't even care. It's like you left old Veronica back when your dad died and this new, bitchy spiteful Veronica is left.

"I know, Veronica. I'm sorry about what happened I really am but you were gone and I had no one and Dick was kinda just there. Especially after Logan went after you he had no one as well. We kinda just talked and it escalated into more. We've been going out for awhile now and he hasn't even asked to have sex with me."

"Mac this is Dick Casablancas we're talking about. Let's not pretend he's sweet and kind. All he's out for is sex. The only long term real relationship he's had was with Madison and all they did was have sex."

"He's sorry about what he did to you, Veronica. He's been in therapy, he can't sleep properly he's on all this medication because he's so guilty and ashamed. I'm not asking you to forgive him I'm just asking you to say it's okay that I date him. Which is crazy because I don't even need your approval but I thought I'd be a good friend and ask you instead of just springing it on you."

"I'm saying no. I don't approve. Dick Casablancas is nothing but a horny self centred jerk who thinks only with his penis and not his actual brain. Dick tormented me all the way through high school, he helped his brother rape me and then he himself raped me. No. No and no. I do not approve at all."

Mac gets up and picks up her bag from the floor. She's furious at you and she does have a right to be but you don't know why you're acting like this.

"I don't know what happened to Veronica Mars but when she comes back let me know."

She slams the door on her way out but you're not done with her. You have all this pent up rage and hate for something or someone. So you open the door and run down to catch up to her.

"I am Veronica Mars. I'm sorry if I've had to deal with the death of my father, being raped, my boyfriend trying to murder my ex boyfriend and then my boyfriend attempting suicide but I've toughened up Mac and so should you. Life isn't a bowl of candy it fucks you over. So what if I don't approve of Dick? There's a hundred of them out there find another one and date him."

"You're a real bitch Veronica. I know you're dealing with a lot in such a little time but we're supposed to be friends and friends tell each other things. All you've done is shut everyone around you out. You ran away to fucking Australia without telling anyone but Wallace and Weevil, I didn't even know until Logan said he was flying over."

"I had to leave! I had to. I couldn't be here with my dad's death looming over me. You don't understand."

"I don't understand!? I don't understand!? Jesus Christ Veronica, my boyfriend blew up a bus load of kids and left me naked in a hotel room whilst he was up on a roof ready to shoot my best friend! He committed suicide the same night we were supposed to have our first time! I loved him! I fucking loved him, Veronica!"

"He was your boyfriend, not your dad."

"Yeah well I was your best friend now I'm not. Grow up, Veronica Mars and when you do don't find me."

She walks off and into her car, you watch as she drives speedily around the corner.

Who have you become Veronica?

--

Logan rang you 15 minutes ago, telling you that he was on his way to yours from therapy. You don't want him here but how do you tell your fiancé you don't want him around…at all.

Since then you've ate your weight in chocolate cake and then you stuck your fingers down your throat and threw it back up. You've changed three times, drank two glasses of your dad's scotch and applied make up twice.

He knocks on the door and opens it immediately without you saying to come in. He finds you on the couch curled up in a ball with your eyes closed and tears wetting your cheeks. He makes his way over to you, his walking stick by his side and he sits in the arm chair next to the sofa.

"Veronica? Are you okay?"

"I can't." You whisper, shaking your head.

Logan brushes his hand over your messy hair.

"Can't what baby?"

"I just can't."

"Sit up please, Veronica. Let's talk."

You shakily sit up but you keep your eyes stuck to the ground.

"What's wrong?" He softly asks.

"I can't do it. I can't."

"Veronica I can't help unless you tell me what's wrong." He laughs.

"I can't do…do it. I can't. I cannot. No."

He takes a more serious tone. "Veronica, please. Tell me what's wrong."

Quickly you pull the sleeve of your jacket up your arm and show him the several large cuts on your arm that have stopped bleeding now but look like they had been bleeding a lot.

"Fuck. Maybe we should take you to the hospital, Ronnie."

"No. Please. No. I can't."

"What can't you do, Veronica?" He asks, growing impatient.

"This. Us. Me. Life."

"Us? You're…you're breaking up with me again?"

You nod, your eyes darting anywhere but where his eyes are. He chokes back tears.

"Let me put antiseptic on these." He says, going straight to your bathroom and getting out the first aid kit.

"Don't you hate me now?" You ask softly as he returns.

"I'll never hate you Veronica. Angry at you, furious, frustrated maybe. But I can never hate you. Even if I did I can't leave you here like this. I'll take you around to Mac's."

"Mac hates me. I yelled at her because she wants to date Dick."

"I'll take you to Wallace's then."

"No. Please. I want to stay here."

He sighs.

"I'm staying too then." You see faint drops of tears pass his cheeks.

He picks you up with ease and takes you to your room where he puts you in bed. When he leaves you hear him on the phone. You can't make out quite what he's saying but you're positive you hear Wallace's name and then Mac's and then hospital. You're too exhausted to even protest to whatever he's suggesting.


This is a missing chapter, it fits in somewhere I'm just not where. I must have just forgotten to upload it. Sorry!