Summary --- Nate and Serena watch a certain couple during prom and can only feel three things. Regret. Guilt. Jealously.
Disclaimer --- I do not own Gossip Girl or Feeling a Moment by Feeder.
Author's note --- I need to stop procrastinating on Breathe.
Feeling a Moment
In the middle of the dance floor is a girl, whose heart has been broken so many times, but tonight she rests with a boy whose heart is pure and good.
A boy who loves her.
When you first see them together, your head starts to pound and you can't breathe. 'This isn't happening' repeats in your head. It plays on in your pretty little head over and over.
Your heart races underneath that puffy pink dress your mother insisted you wear. You'd been in high hopes of seeing him once more and letting him know how you really felt. You were hoping he'd leave a certain someone for you.
You are Serena van der Woodsen and you know perfectly he's been in love with you since forever. It sounds selfish but you know it's true.
Now, that perfect smile is dimmed and can't be mended.
You try to deny it but you just can't.
The proof is right there in a Cinderella like white dress in the arms of a dark suited boy.
They stand far off of the dance floor filled with grinding young teens. She laughs quietly at a private joke a girl to her left whispers. He, sitting on her right in an adorable black silk suit, sips his punch silently.
Someone might mistake him for being unhappy with his girlfriend, and you, for a spilt second thought so too. That was until you saw the way he held onto her hand with affection. The girl gripped back, adoration in her eyes.
It was enough to make someone go 'aww' but all you wanted to do was puke.
The song changes and when it does you want to hide away because you know what this song is.
Blair giggles so loud you can hear her all the way from across the room. Dan shushes her with his finger which she playfully bites. He fakes a hurt expression before she kisses his finger and you swear, you thought you saw something more then friendly.
You shrug it off. Dan isn't Blair's to have. He's yours and Blair knows better.
'Just like you did' it screams in the back of your head.
if I lived for a million years
I would be right there to catch your tears
You watch as Dan bows playfully in front of Blair, his hand taking her smaller one. He pulls her up and glides her to the middle of the room.
You've suddenly become immune to the words Jenny's saying to you.
Somehow, Dan came with you but is dancing with Blair.
will you love again
With other than me, Other than me
And will you speak of me
And will you remember me
They move with grace and comfort, and you start to wonder if they're secret lovers. He whispers something in her ear and she smiles at him like he's her new Nate.
It doesn't surprise you when Nate is Blair less Monday and Dan ops to leave you alone like he did all of freshman and sophomore year.
You watch with more pain in your chest than during that New Year's Eve party a year ago.
He leads her to the dance floor and she seems to glow, you notice. He takes her to the center of the room in a Dan kind of way.
Her hand stays on his shoulder as he keeps one on her small waist and you hate that they look so perfect together.
You choke back a sob when he places his lips over hers because you know.
You've always known but you just thought. God. What the hell were you thinking?
You leave 'Midnight Elegant' Prom 08 with a broken heart and smudged eyeliner because this is growing up and understanding.
You can't have everything you want.
Even if you are Serena van der Woodsen.
The punch is spiked with some sort of shit and Chuck's hitting on freshmen girls, who are too stupid or just craving popularity.
Sometime it's both if Chuck's lucky.
At the top of the stairs, is Serena.
Beautiful Serena with glowing blonde hair and a bright personality is standing there in the spotlight like always.
You wonder why she isn't smiling as you look in the direction of her eyes.
You sure as hell bet your own smile is replaced with a frown.
Blair's beautiful in a different way; you just wished you knew what way that was. It isn't Blair in her virgin white dress, or her thousands of friends surrounding her.
It's the boy holding her hand as she drinks punch spiked with the some sort of expensive vodka. It's a Blair kind of thing.
Dan, you remember.
Dan who first stole Serena's heart back in the beginning of junior year and the last half slowly making Blair fall into that same spell.
Maybe it's because he's got that poor person charm.
You don't really give a damn about him.
All you care about is his stupid hand holding onto Blair's, like she's his but you know it's the wholehearted truth.
"Nate. I think we should break up."
"What?" you asked, shocked is written so plainly on your face a couple of girls stop to stare.
"I don't feel like we're connecting." She says simply with a guilty expression.
"Look. I told you I forgave you for sleeping with Serena but the truth is I don't." You know she's lying.
"Who is he?"
"Who?" she plays dumb with a confused yet rehearsed face.
Before you can repeat your question Dan, 'Serena's Dan' you remind yourself comes up to you two. He smiles sweetly at Blair and her face lights up.
"Dan? Dan Humphrey? Serena's Dan?"
"Actually I'd prefer to just be Dan cause Serena's Dan just wasn't a cool name back in middle school."
You shoot a look at him.
Who the hell does he think he is?
"You'd choose him?" This isn't the Blair you know. Blair, the one you love, would've never second glanced at Dan in a million years.
Then again maybe you didn't know Blair.
"Yes. I would choose Dan, Dan Humphrey, Serena's Dan over you." Blair meanly states because there's no point in sugar coating it.
She walks away with Dan.
It hurts when you're Blair less on Monday and you aren't surprised Dan hasn't talked to Serena yet.
They move to the dance floor and it burns.
In the pit of your stomach, burning deeper and deeper because you've lost a battle that Archibald's aren't supposed to.
You aren't supposed to lose the girl you loved.
So when Dan kisses her right there in the middle of the room, spotlight shining off her white dress that contrasts with his black suit, you run.
Run right out of 'Midnight Elephant' or whatever the fucking theme is.
You know now Blair really does love Dan, Dan Humphrey, Serena's Dan more than she did you.
"I love you Cabbage Patch."
"I love you too, you 95 pound, doe eyed, label whoring package of girly evil."
She giggles loudly, that people on the other side of the dance floor can hear her. Dan smiles down at her like she's the greatest thing in the world, and to him she really is.
"You know, your nickname for me is way too long."
The song plays on as Blair burns her feelings for Dan into his eyes. Her flesh grows warmer at the thought of after prom.
"Kiss me," she whispers so long it could blend into the music.
He obeys and tonight at the 'Midnight' whatever, he marks his teenage first love on Blair Waldorth.
Spotted S crying her blue eyes out inside a Ritz bathroom stall. N having a fissy fit while attempting to try out for track with that running.
Or did he see something he didn't like?
Maybe it's just B and Lonely Boy making out in the middle of the dance room.
Guess B and Lonely Boy really are the hottest couple at prom.
Who would've known?
You know you love me…
Author's Note --- My first shot at a Gossip Girl blog entry and it probably really sucks. I'm just not sure how to write that sort of cattiness yet mysterious element Gossip Girl has.
Maybe I should just listen to Kristen Bell talk?
HA! Everyone's saying Dan is like the new Seth Cohen but come on. No one could top Adam Brody with his sexiness and funny one liners.
'I am mysterious.' Carter Webb, In the Land Of Women.
Added a Dan quote but I only remembered '95 pound label whoring' blah blah.
Does anyone remember the rest? Like the part with the mall?
Reviewing is like a Starbucks laced with Sour Patch Kids and Penn Badgley (what a hottie!)