A/N: Oneshot. Might be sad.. Reviews are very appreciated. Hope you like it. Deathly Hallows didnt happen and neither did Half Blood Prince..
Disclaimer: Dont own it.
Being a Hero is for Sissies
I smirked as I neared the golden snitch. I reached my hand out to grab it. Almost there…
"M-master Draco?" I jumped slightly, hearing my name and looked down to see one of the family house-elves calling up to me. I scowled at the pathetic creature and flew angrily back to the ground.
"Yes?" I snapped. The house-elf's abnormally large eyes widened, if possible.
"Your father w-would like to s-see you right a-away." The house-elf stuttered. I scoffed angrily.
"What now?" I muttered under my breath as I dismounted my broom. I walked swiftly back into Malfoy Manor, leaving my broom abandoned on the ground. As I entered the Manor, I shivered at the sudden warmth and shrugged off my winter cloak and scarf, tossing them to the house-elf to take.
I reached my father's study and knocked lightly on his door.
"Come in," Lucius Malfoy called coldly. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. What seventeen year old boy had to knock on his own father's door just to talk to him?
"You wanted to see me, father?" I asked, bowing my head slightly in greeting. Lucius looked up at me and nodded briskly.
"Yes Draco, it's rather important so pay attention." He said firmly. I nodded and he continued. "Our Lord has had word that we have a spy in our ranks. He has also had word of who this particular spy is. The Dark Lord is very, very angry with this traitor. You know very well that traitors are the Lord's least favourite people. He punishes them severely."
I nodded again, showing that I understood.
"This traitor has gone to Dumbledore and told most of the Lord's plans to the old coot. This traitor happens to be one of your friends and your mother's closest friend's son. Blaise Zabini. The coward went to Dumbledore. I'm very proud that you have not been cowardly enough to do such a stupid thing. Now, why am I telling you this?" Lucius asked, raising his eyebrows as I wondered the same thing. "I'm telling you this, son, because as your initiation, I – as well as the Dark Lord – would like you to get rid of the Zabini boy. You may get rid of him in whatever way you see fit. However, it must be done as soon as you get back from your break. You had better accomplish this if you want to make me proud boy." My father hissed. I swallowed hard at the task laid out for me and nodded tightly.
"Very well, you're free to go now." Father dismissed me and I quickly fled the room, breathing rather heavily. Kill Blaise? But he was my best mate! How could Father expect me to murder him? Especially when I've never murdered anyone in my life.
I angrily sighed. Why did I have to kill him? Why couldn't someone else do it? Why me? I groaned as I put my winter gear back on and headed out to put my broom away. Blaise was my friend. I can't believe I never noticed he'd joined the other side. What a coward. I thought this, but I knew it was I who was the true coward. It was I who was too afraid to stand up for myself like Blaise did. If I could, I would have gone with Blaise to join the other side. But I am too afraid of my father and his Lord to do so.
Now look what has become of me? I'm set to murder my best friend so I can be accepted into Lord Voldemort's rank of followers. I'll be a slave for the rest of my life. I'll murder people for fun and torture innocents. I'll follow what that evil bastard says and respect him, calling him 'sir' and 'Lord'. I'll be just like my father. This is, of course, what my father wants. I, too, used to want that for myself. But my views changed as I grew older. I've always wanted to make my father proud. But when I was younger, I would do anything to be noticed by him. My father was my idol. I wanted to be just like him. However, as I got older, I realized how little hope he really had left for him. He was doomed to stay with his Lord forever, to be faithful to his Lord and respect Voldemort's every wish. He could not and did not love his family. He did not care, love, cry or pray. He knew nothing of a true life. I however, did not want to be like that. But I knew it would happen to me. I was destined to be just like him.
A murderer, a heartless bastard, a stone cold prat, a prejudiced asshole – that's what I would be. I would become all of that, after I had finished my task. I already was prejudiced, stone cold and a bastard. I just wasn't a murderer – yet.
Peck, peck, peck.
I looked up from my Quidditch book to see a tawny owl tapping at my window. I grinned, knowing exactly whose owl that was and quickly opened the window for him.
I took the letter attached to the owl's leg and fed the bird a treat. As the owl happily ate his treat, I hastily opened my letter, grinning from ear to ear.
Happy Christmas! Are you having a good break? I am. So far, it's been wonderful. Harry and Hermione came to stay at the Burrow with us and Ron's been surprisingly nice to me. Fred and George came and brought loads of new jokes with them for my brother and me to try out. It was brilliant.
I got another new jumper this year, it's green – that's the way my mum is. She makes us a new jumper every year. It's sort of a tradition, you know. I also got an amazing Quidditch book that you'll have to read when we get back to Hogwarts. I know you'll enjoy it. It's very informative.
I miss you loads. I've been thinking a lot about our relationship though. Don't you think it's a bit dangerous? What if your parents or their fellow Death Eaters find out about it? They'll kill you for sure. And I really care about you. I don't want to lose you, Blaise. Maybe we shouldn't see each other. It kills me to say that to you, but I'm really worried that you'll get hurt. I think I might be in love with you Blaise Zabini.
That's right, I, Ginevra Weasley of Gryffindor am in love with Blaise Zabini of Slytherin. Isn't that something? Anyway, we'll have to talk more at school. So on the first day back, meet me at our meeting spot right after the feast, all right?
Loads of love,
I read the letter twice. I couldn't believe it. Ginny Weasley is in love with me. Who would've thought it? I couldn't deny that my feelings were very strong for her as well. I suppose I was in love with her too. I've never loved anyone before. I've never even liked anyone as much as I like Ginny.
I can still remember the day we first talked. I smiled as I remembered it.
"Hey Weasley," I said, smirking. She turned her big brown eyes on me and rolled them.
"What do you want, Zabini?"
"Why nothing, Weasley. I just saw your beauty and decided to talk to you."
"You're a Slytherin. I'm a Gryffindor. We don't talk to each other." She stated firmly. I smirked again.
"What no one knows won't hurt them," I said quietly. I'd fancied the redheaded Weasley for quite some time and decided I wanted her. I didn't care that she was a Gryffindor and I was a Slytherin, nor did I care that she was a Weasley. I wanted her.
She raised her eyebrows at me, but couldn't hide a small smile. "What are you proposing, Zabini?"
"That you talk to me,"
"I do believe I am talking to you," She quipped, smirking.
"I mean a civil conversation, without the use of our last names," I paused. "Ginny,"
She raised her eyebrows again, surprised. "I suppose it won't hurt,"
"Right, so what class do you have this afternoon, Ginny?" I asked, purposefully saying her name.
"Potions with the overgrown bat," She replied, wrinkling her nose. I laughed. "What about you, Blaise?" She asked, putting emphasis on my name.
"I have Transfiguration," I replied.
After that, we made it a routine to meet each other in the room of requirements. Our friendship soon became more than friendship and led them to where they stood now. They were 'seeing each other'.
Ginny sat cross-legged on the sofa in the room of requirement with her potions textbook open on her lap. She was wearing a dark green tank top and blue jeans. I sat beside her and looked at her as she tried to study.
Half of her long red hair was pulled back behind her head, while the rest fell gracefully down her back. She was biting her lip softly as her eyes scanned her textbook.
Feeling my gaze on her, Ginny looked up at me and raised an eyebrow, half smiling. "What?" She asked. I shrugged and leaned towards her.
"You just captivate me with your beauty," I replied. She blushed and shoved me playfully.
"You're so corny," She murmured, smiling. I returned the smile.
"I'm serious though Gin," I began. "I fancy you,"
"Aren't you right to the point?" She replied, still smiling. "But, I like you too Blaise,"
I had waited for that for way too long. Leaning forward, I closed the space between our lips slowly. The kiss became passionate and by the time we pulled apart, we were both gasping for air.
Ginny had broken up with Harry shortly after, saying she needed to focus on her studies and didn't have time to be going after boys. She had said that a white lie never hurt anyone and Harry never liked her that much to begin with.
I wondered what Draco would say if he found out about my affair with Ginny. He'd be angry with me for sure. However, he'd be furious if he knew what I was doing in my spare time. Rather than spend my time worshipping the ground Voldemort walks on, I spend my time hanging out with Ginny and giving information to Dumbledore.
If anyone from the dark side found out, I'd be murdered. However I wasn't too worried. I didn't care if I was killed, as long as I didn't die with people thinking I was a Death Eater.
I sighed happily as I awoke from my slumber. Today was the day to go back to Hogwarts. Normally, I wouldn't be very excited. But today, I had reason to be excited. I got to see Blaise.
Sadly, I have fallen in love with a Slytherin. But Blaise isn't bad for a Slytherin. He's actually rather nice. And he's not a deatheater. However, I'm not sure if it's going to work between us. I mean, I care about him a lot, but if he were to be found out, he could be seriously hurt, or worse killed. And that would break my heart.
I really love him though, more than I loved Harry.
"Ginny!" Mum called up the stairs. I rolled my eyes.
"I'm up!" I hollered back. Sighing again, I rolled off my bed and walked to my wardrobe. I picked out a thin green sweater and dark blue jeans with black boots.
After showering, I got Hermione to magically put my hair in loose ringlets, as I was too young to do magic outside school. I still roll my eyes at that rule.
I haven't told anyone about Blaise; not even Hermione. She's always asking if I've found someone special since Harry, because apparently I have that 'smile' that gives her a hint that I like someone. But I keep telling her there's no body.
"Hey Gin" Harry and Hermione greeted as I walked into the kitchen. I smiled at them both. Ron was no where to be seen.
"We're just waiting for Ronald," Molly Weasley announced as she entered the kitchen. I smiled at my mum and took a seat beside Hermione.
"You seem, er, cheerful this morning, Gin," Harry stated and I flushed, looking away from the emerald eyed boy as I tried to explain my sudden eagerness to go back to school.
"Er – I – uh," I struggled to find something to say. Fortunately, Hermione came to my rescue.
"She's probably excited to see everyone Harry," Hermione said. I smiled and nodded. Harry rolled his eyes and I sent a look of gratitude towards Hermione.
Finally Ron came into the kitchen dressed in baggy jeans and his new mahogany jumper. Mum scolded him for taking so long and then we headed to King's Cross to board the train back to Hogwarts.
I could barely contain my excitement as Harry, Ron, Hermione and I looked for a compartment with Neville Longbottom and Luna Lovegood.
"Draco, stop that immediately," My mother whispered harshly. I turned my glare away from some Gryffindors to look at my mother.
"What?" I snapped.
"You must act normal towards your foes. You must be the graceful one. A Malfoy is always graceful. Act like your father, insult them with hints. Do not show your dislike for them so outwardly." My mother lectured quietly and I rolled my eyes. 'Act like a Malfoy' lecture was the most popular lecture I received from my mother.
"Yes mother," I drawled.
"Very well, I'll see you for summer. Behave yourself, and don't do anything to disgrace our name, boy." Narcissa Malfoy said coolly. I nodded and walked swiftly away from my mother. That's all it ever was. No 'good bye Draco, I love you' or 'be careful, son.' I don't think my mother has ever told me she loved me. My father has never said it either. It was always the same 'make me proud' speech or the 'don't disgrace us'.
I'm quite used to it. I never tell them I love them either. I said it once when I was four or five and for some reason I'll never know, I got a beating for it. I've seen how other parents are with their children. How the mothers get teary eyed when sending their kids off to Hogwarts. Or how the fathers pat their sons on the back and tell them how proud they are of them and how much they love them.
"Hey Draco!" I turned to see Blaise running up to me and I barely hid a wince. I'd forgotten about my task until just then. I swallowed hard.
"Hey Blaise," I drawled, keeping my tone regular. He smiled.
"How was your holiday?"
"Boring, as usual." I replied, avoiding Blaise's eyes. We found a compartment and sat down. "How about yours?" I asked casually.
"It was all right," Blaise said. "My mother got a new beau but that's nothing new,"
"Yeah," I said, for I had nothing else to say to that. The compartment opened and Weaselette poked her head in.
"Nope, this ones taken!" She called and sent a glare at me. I glared back however I noticed the look she had sent towards Blaise. It wasn't one of hate. I believe there was an actual smile there.
I looked at Blaise but he was expressionless. Either because I was in the compartment or because he missed the look Weaselette gave him. Weaselette closed the compartment door.
I thought of my mission again and struggled to fight off a groan. How the bloody hell was I supposed to do this?! I'm not a murderer! There's no way I can kill my best friend!
"What's wrong Draco?" Blaise asked, raising his eyebrows. I looked at him and shrugged.
"Nothing, why?" I replied nonchalantly.
"You're awfully quiet,"
"Just tired is all," I said smoothly, even adding in a fake yawn. I kept my eyes on Blaise. How could you do this? I mentally asked him. Why would you be so foolish? Whatever possessed you to switch sides? I fell asleep with the same unanswered questions passing through my mind.
D M D M D M D M
I woke up abruptly as a hand roughly shook my shoulder. "Wha…?" I murmured, squinting up a shape in front of me.
"We're almost there, mate. Time to put our robes on." Blaise said quietly. I nodded and sleepily stood up, stretching.
As we arrived at Hogwarts only a few minutes later, we suffered through Dumbledore's boring speech and then headed to our dormitories for bed.
Blaise went to the bathroom and I sat on my bed, brooding. What should I do? Maybe I could talk to him about it? I asked myself. No, I replied firmly. My father gave me a mission that was from the Dark Lord himself, and I will complete the task given to me. After-all, it was my life or Blaise's. That may be selfish, but I'm a naturally selfish guy.
My mind made, I waited for Blaise to come back. When he finally did, I spoke, a plan forming in my mind.
"Blaise!" I whispered urgently. He raised his eyebrows at me. "Come with me to the forest. I have to show you something, but it's secret and you mustn't tell anyone." I continued. "It has to be tonight,"
Blaise's dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion but nevertheless he stood up and followed me out of the Slytherin common room, grabbing our cloaks on the way.
We walked in silence to the forest; I was too nervous to speak and Blaise too confused.
I remembered the first day Blaise and I officially became friends. We were sitting on the floor of my parent's mansion at the age of seven. Blaise's mother had been good friends with my mother.
"Draco go play with Blaise," My mother ordered. I wrinkled my nose but obeyed and led the dark haired boy into our living room.
"So…Do you like Quidditch?" I asked, trying to strike up a conversation. I had talked to Blaise before in the seven years we'd know each other, but I had never had an actual conversation with him.
The boy nodded enthusiastically. "I love Quidditch; I want to be a chaser when I get to Hogwarts."
"I want to be a seeker," I said proudly. Blaise smiled.
"Seekers are really important. I reckon you'd make a brilliant seeker," He said. I smiled too.
"Thanks, I bet you'll make a great chaser too." I replied. "So what house d'you wanna be in?"
"Slytherin," Blaise said and I knew then that he and I would be very good friends.
We played a few games of exploding snap and laughed a lot. We also realized we had a lot in common. I shook myself free of my memory and focused on the task at hand; killing my best friend.
We arrived at a very secluded spot in the forbidden forest and I turned to face Blaise. He stopped and looked at me, confusion evident on his face.
"What did you have to show me, Draco?"
"Blaise, why did you do it?" I whispered.
"What?" He asked. "I didn't quite catch that,"
"I said why did you do it?"
"Switch sides, act carelessly and betray our Lord." Blaise's eyes widened and I saw the fear flash in them. "You were my best mate. And now look what I'm forced to do."
"Y-you've got to kill me, then?" Blaise mumbled, blinking rapidly.
I nodded, casting my eyes downward. "But, I want to know why you did it Blaise."
"Because it was the right thing to do, Draco." Blaise replied softly. "I couldn't fight for that bastard any longer. I couldn't listen to everyone talking about the scum of muggleborns and how they're so below us. I couldn't take it anymore. Plus, I fell in love with someone who gave me the courage to do it."
"And who would that be?"
My eyes widened in shock. "You fell in love with a Weasley?!"
"Yes," Blaise replied. "So how did the Dark Lord find out?"
I shrugged. "Doesn't matter. But my father gave me strict orders from the Lord,"
"So you're going to kill me?" Blaise asked casually. I groaned.
"I don't want to Blaise! I really don't have a choice!"
"Yes you do, you're just too afraid to pick the alternative choice." Blaise replied matter-of-factly.
"Yeah well," I brushed what he said off, trying to focus on the matter at hand. "It doesn't matter. I've got to do what my father told me. I'm sorry Blaise. You're my best mate, but…" I trailed off, biting the inside of my mouth.
"But your life is more important than mine," Blaise said bitterly and I winced. When he put it like that it made me sound extremely bad. I guess that's true, but I'm a coward. I'm not afraid to admit that.
"Blaise you're making this very hard," I muttered.
"Okay, I'm sorry Draco. How about I just shut up and let you kill me? Will that make it any easier?" Blaise said angrily. "Go ahead, Draco. Kill me!"
I clenched my fist and raised my wand. Blaise didn't flinch. I have to do this. I thought, trying to convince myself. It's either him or me. And I don't want to die.
"Wait – as clearly you're sure about killing me then I want to ask you one favor; just one." Blaise said quickly.
"What's that?" I asked, swallowing hard.
"T-tell Ginny, tell her that I love her. She told me yesterday that she loved me and we were supposed to meet tomorrow at lunch to talk so I could tell her then that I loved her too. But now I won't get the chance. So please, Draco, please tell her that I love her. And tell her not to blame herself. It's not her fault." Blaise said desperately. His voice was cracking and I had the feeling he was trying hard not to cry.
"Okay Blaise, I'll tell her," I whispered. I didn't want to do this! I wish there was some way I could get out of doing it. However, it had to be done and so I pointed my wand directly at him and muttered the two words that would end my best friend's life.
"I'm so sorry," I murmured softly as a flash of green light shot from my wand and hit him in the chest. Blaise smiled slightly and collapsed in a heap on the ground.
I slowly made my way back to the castle, telling myself over and over again that Malfoys don't cry.
I headed to the Great Hall for lunch, nearly skipping. I was to meet Blaise today in the Room of Requirements. I was so excited.
As I neared the Hall however, there was a big commotion going on outside it. A crowd was gathered around and Dumbledore stood at the front.
"- I found him around by Hagrid's hut sir and dragged him up here," a voice I recognized as Terry Boot's said. I pushed my way through the crowd to see what was going on and gasped at what I saw.
Tears immediately flowed down my cheeks before I could stop them. "No!" I cried. "No, no, no! This can't be happening!"
"Gin, why are you so upset?" A voice asked me. It was my brother. "It's just a Slytherin."
I ignored him and fell to my knees beside Blaise's body. "Not Blaise," I murmured softly, stroking his cheek. "Not Blaise,"
As I was pulled away from my love's dead body, I let out a sob and began to cry harder onto my brother's shoulder – who still didn't understand why I was so upset.
I tore away from my brother and ran down the corridor, unsure of where I was headed. However, I reached the lake and threw myself into the grass beside it, crying hard into my arms.
A while later, there was a sound of a twig braking and I raised my head to see Draco Malfoy standing by the tree, wearing dark robes.
His pale face was expressionless but he gazed at me with the same sadness that I felt. I sat up and stared at him.
"He loved you," Draco said quietly. "He wanted me to tell you that. He doesn't want you to blame yourself. But he said that he loved you and wanted you to know."
Draco didn't say anything else, nor let me ask any questions. He turned and stalked off. And that was the last I had ever seen of him. He didn't come back to classes and no one heard what happened to him. Perhaps he ran off.
I walked away from Ginevra Weasley, the girl who stole my best friend's heart. I decided at that moment that I didn't want a part in the war anymore. I didn't want to see who won or lost. I made the choice I should have made ages ago. I left Hogwarts, my father, Lord Voldemort. Hell, I left England.
Whenever I thought of Blaise, I knew I had done only what was expected of me. I decided that being a hero is for sissies.