DEAR DAD

(This story takes place less than one week after the events portrayed in the season 8 episode, Threads, and is Sam's reflection on her father's final intervention in her life.)

It's been less than a week.

I miss you so much already.

I always thought you would die before I really got to know you. I was wrong.

Thanks to the Tokra, and your willingness to take a pretty big risk, you and I got another chance.

And now I am so angry at you.

How could you leave me now?

It's bad enough you're gone, but before you leave, you blow my carefully constructed walls to smithereens. How could you?

Didn't you know how hard I worked to hide, even forget, my feelings for a man I wasn't allowed to love? Didn't you know? You must have known.

Why else would there have been Pete?

Poor Pete. I'm ashamed of how I treated him. Now everything is over, I'm ashamed. He deserved better. And you knew I deserved different.

You never came right out and said it, but you knew how I felt about Jack. You weren't blind. You must have seen it more than once when we were all together. You were my dad. Of course you knew. You just tried to stay out of it and let me make my own decisions. Until of course, you thought it was too late. And even then you wouldn't come out and say it.

You didn't have to.

Your less than stellar reaction to Pete, well, that spoke volumes. And Pete, he was so in over his head. What was I thinking? Thinking I was scared, scared what would happen if I confronted my feelings for Jack.

I knew it was wrong. The relationship, my thinking I could, should marry Pete, I knew it was wrong, wouldn't work. How could a relationship work when one person's in love with someone else? I convinced myself I didn't feel that way for Jack. After all, he'd made it clear to me he didn't care, at least the way I wanted him to care. I showed him the ring and he didn't stop me. What was I supposed to think? I was wrong and you knew it.

Not exactly a genius at this relationship stuff, am I Dad?

Then when I'm finally ready to talk, admit everything, he's moved on. When I saw that woman at Jack's house, I wanted to disappear. I felt like such a fool. Still, right then, I knew I couldn't go through with the wedding. Before I got that terrible phone call from the SGC, I knew I couldn't go through with it.

And when I saw you in the infirmary, all thought of Pete disappeared. All I wanted was for you to survive. And I wanted Jack to be there. And he was. Of course he was. He was there as I said goodbye to you. Not Pete, but Jack, the one I've wanted for so long. The one you knew all about.

I don't know what will happen now, Dad. I've said goodbye to Pete. And hello to Jack, for as much as that will mean. But whatever happens I do know I won't settle. No more pretending. And I have you to thank for that. You confronted me with the reality of my life. I didn't want to see it. This relationship, being with Jack, will be more difficult. I'm vulnerable. If it doesn't work out, I know I'll be hurt. So this tough soldier is a little scared. But I'm ready to go after what I want.

Wish me luck, Dad.

I know you're watching.


A/N: My take on Sam's reactions in Threads, in response to a discussion on Gateworld's Sam/Jack Family Discussion Thread.

Reviews, thoughts, feedback appreciated.