The Bitter End

Disclaimer: Don't own them. JK Rowling does. "The Bitter End" belong to Placebo

Summary: DH line. In a pub, a song makes Severus remember things. Slash.

Category: Songfic, Hurt and Comfort

Pairing: Severus/Lily, unrequited Severus/Someone

Author's Notes: (1) Bulletproof Cupid is another song from Placebo.

In another time, in another life, John Dodson had a band, the Rabid Dogs.

On Saturdays, it always played at the Bulletproof Cupid (1). Every Saturday, Jim Sylar, the owner of the pub, had the house full. Full of the usual people, of course, non-reputable, hopeless, depressive… None who would care much if John Dodson looked liked a murderer escaped from jail. Most of then, had their own crimes to run from and the others knew better than say anything.

As old John and his dogs got on stage, all eyes were on them. The groupies screamed. Women who looked for men in places like the Bulletproof Cupid, weren't very smart but all who came had a smile from John, and for them, whose dream was bedding him, it was reward enough. After all, he was such a good-looking guy, even if a little scrawny.

Severus Snape, who sat in a dimly lit corner of the bar, looked at the stage. John's voice filled the pub, and Severus could swear he sang only for him.

"Since we're feeling so anaesthetized

In our comfort zone

Reminds me of the second time

That I followed you home"

The singer's blue eyes reminded him of something he didn't thought in ages. When Severus was 13, his most hated enemy had followed him home. Twice, in the same summer.

The first time, the other boy saw his pain, and tried to save him. Tried to befriend him. His pity just made Severus angrier and his hate for this boy just worsened. He hated him for seeing the truth, for pitting him, and he hated himself even more for being so weak.

The second time, they fought. No wands, just fists. He remembered the metallic taste in his mouth, the wetness on his lip. He felt comforted, though. Their grudge was their comfort zone.

"We are running out of alibis

On the second of May

Reminds me of the summertime

On this winter's day."

John went on and Severus' memories continued to haunt him. On the second of May, four years after that unwelcome visits, the same boy who had split open his lip, talked him to sleep. He had been so scared. He had taken the mark and Lily had left. Their grudge didn't bring the comfort he needed. The boy put down his fists that night and caressed his hair as he rested his head on his knees on top of the Astronomy Tower. They talked about life and about change. About choices. But the boy said that, no matter what they would all meet again.

"See you at the bitter end"

That's what he said.

"See you at the bitter end"

They would all meet in the bitter end.

"Every step we take that's synchronized

Every broken bone

Reminds me of the second time

That I followed home"

Then, Severus remembered, the War came. And he caught himself imagining, how his steps and that of this boy had been synchronized in a mirror like way. Equal, though in opposite directions. They turned their back to their origins. Although, their hate was always safe to turn to.

"You shower me with lullabies

As you're walking away

Reminds me that's killing time

On this fateful day"

Sirius used to call Severus' curses lullabies.

"See you at the bitter end

See you at the bitter end

See you at the bitter end

See you at the bitter end"

"From the time intercepted

Feels a lot like suicide"

Their synchronized dance continued even after the Potters' murderer. Lily was gone forever and changing sides looked a lot like suicide. Sirius attempt of vengeance was much of the same.

"slow and sad, coming sadder.

Arise a sitting mine

(See you at the bitter end)"

That words have never left his thoughts. And not a few times, had he caught himself wandering… Would he ever see Lily again?

"I love to see you run around

I wanna see you now


Arms wide out

(See you at the bitter end)"

That night, that second of May, Sirius had told Severus that the first time he had followed the Slytherin home, he had wanted to be his Prince, but Severus, like James, already had Princess Lily. The only role left was that of vilan. And that was what Sirius chose to be as long as he was important to Severus.

"Come on and reach inside

Grab the gentleness and reach inside

Heard a cry

Six months time

(See you at the bitter end)

In six months time

Prepare the end."

Sirius had said that night his hate was the biggest proof of his love. That he had been so mean to Severus that the Slytherin wouldn't have problem facing the war. At the time Severus had dismissed that as crazy, but it proved right. He was alive, wasn't he?

"See you at the bitter end"

John Dodson smiled at him.

"See you at the bitter end"

At the end of the show, Severus went to see the blue-eyed man in his changing room.

"You know you shouldn't be showing your face around, you are being hunted down, remember?" Said the wizard.

"I know." Answered the singer.

"Correct me if I'm wrong. Hadn't I told you to get rid of that song, Black?"

The vocalist filled his lungs with smoke before answering.

"I sold it. To a famous band. Now all think we are playing Placebo when we play it." He had a glass of muggle Whiskey in his hands. He took a large sip. It was not as strong as its wizard counter-part but it would have to do.

"John… How creative." Severus snorted.

"What do you want, Snape?" Asked John Dodson a. k. a. Sirius Black.

"Why do you insist on that song?"

"Because I like to remember the only night I robbed you from Lily."

Severus thought about the song, and their talk on the second of May as his vision of Harry Potter's eyes, Lily's eyes, faded to black. He wondered if Sirius had been right.

See you at the bitter end.