AN: Sorry it took so long to get this up (that is what she said). Who's got two thumbs and a massive essay due Monday? This guy. So yeah, I'll try to update next whenever I can. And I hope you enjoy the first chapter. Chapter 1
Real AN: This story is a little farfetched for the show I'll agree, but it had so much possibility to it, that I couldn't let it go, and I wrote 10 pages during my Early Brit-Lit class. So yeah. Also the last line break is for a different scene, not a talking head.The Scare
Michael sat at his desk in his office with a saddened look on his face, "Ryan called me up early this morning and announced that dressing up for Halloween wasn't allowed this year because some people at some other branches don't celebrate the holiday and we wouldn't want to force them to celebrate it," Michael's voice was snippy and his nose scrunched as he finished his sentence, "I tried to bargain with him, I mean everyone here celebrates Halloween, but he still wouldn't let us. His exact words were, 'not in the office, Michael'."
The room went quiet as Michael thought the interview was done, but the camera panned up to show two floppy ears on the top of Michael's head.
"Oh," Michael chuckled and took off the accessory, "I was going to be that dog Ellen Degeneres beat or something, Izzy, or Icky, I don't know," he shook his head and played with the ears in his hand, "I was going to wear a baby bonnet and put on fake bruises and be one of Britney Spears' kids, but I thought that was too obvious."
Dwight walked into the office carrying his briefcase, as he walked to his desk; Jim uttered a, "Good morning Dwight."
"Jim," Dwight replied with a little venom on his voice. He placed his briefcase on the ground, and unlocked his lower desk drawer to pull out the handset of his phone.
Jim shrugged and returned back to work, typing up sales reports to hand into Michael by the end of the day. But only managed to fill out one column of answers before he realized that Dwight was staring at him. He stopped typing and cautiously let his eyes drift over, "Can I help you?"
"It has occurred to me that you haven't played one of your idiotic pranks on me in quite some time," Dwight stated matter-of-factly.
"Huh," Jim looked away from his computer and tried to recall if this was indeed true, "I guess you're right."
Dwight leaned forward sloppily pushing Jim's overlapping materials off his desk, "Why is that Jim?"
Jim shrugged and turned back to his computer, "I guess I've just been too busy for them," he added as he started on the next row of numbers. Dwight looked unappeased.
"I honestly have been forgetting to prank Dwight. I stopped for awhile after his breakup, because it was pretty bad, and now that I want to prank him, I can't think of anything to do to him," Jim held his chin as he mused aloud, "Maybe Pam will think of something when she comes in," a hint of concern evident in his voice.
"Jim has something up his sleeve," Dwight stared daggers into the camera, "I know it, and I've dealt with it too long. I will be ready to strike at his advances, and destroy his ridiculous plan, whatever it may be."
Andy walked behind Jim and got situated at his desk. He hadn't even turned on his computer before he leaned forward, his hands clasped together in his lap, "Are you guys excited for today?"
Jim turned his chair towards Andy, "Not really, I kind of got over the whole Halloween excitement things awhile ago, although I do plan on getting a stomach ache tonight and calling in sick tomorrow."
"No, Tuna, you idiot," Andy answered with sudden anger and turned to Dwight, "He knows what I'm talking about."
Dwight who was booting up his computer replied with, "I don't get excited any longer because I know what is going to happen. The same thing that happens every day, and week, and month and year."
"Oh right," Jim nodded and leaned back in his chair quickly sending a glance to the empty desk at reception, "Today is the day they announce the top salesman in the company."
"I win every time," Dwight didn't turn away from his computer screen and shielded his keyboard as he typed in his password, "I've already written my speech, I went along with last year's theme, but spruced it up."
"You are definitely going to give a war veteran a heart attack," Jim informed, as he returned to working once again.
Andy cleared his throat and when neither of the men looked at him, he spoke, "Well it's not set in stone is it?"
"I always win," Dwight pressed, leaning closer to his computer screen.
"I kind of want Andy to win," Jim smiled ruefully, "because it would torture Dwight to know he lost to Andy who only sold, sorry, co-sold fifty reams of paper this month," the smile faded from Jim's face as he added, "If Andy did win he would probably sing 'We Are The Champions' or something, so that ruins the fantasy a little."
"Pamela," Michael walked up to her desk and slammed his hands hard on the top, bouncing the jellybeans, "You are so late."
She swallowed harshly, his sentence hitting her harder than it was meant to, "I'm sorry."
"Twenty minutes Pam," Michael shook his head, while sucking in air through his mouth, "That's like a TV show."
"I know," she replied, her face drifting to Jim who was watching the display closely, "It won't happen again."
"I hope not," Michael chuckled, "That's like half of sixty minutes, that's a long time."
She didn't say anything, only bit her lip and watched as he continued his rant.
"What happened, did your car get stole by zombies?' Michael questioned with a laugh as he knocked on the desk, "Did, did you get attacked by ghosts? Like Bill Cosby and Patrick Swayze?"
"Yes Michael," Pam nodded her head calmly, "zombies stole my car and then ghosts of actors who are still alive attacked me," she agreed.
"Yikes," Michael's eyes grew large and he turned away from Pam's desk to Jim, "You'd better watch out today, she's in a mood." Jim pursed his lips and looked at the camera.
"Something tells me today is going to be a hard day," Michael spoke to the camera seriously, "There's so much pent up frustration in this office, usually Halloween cures that. Now everyone's about to explode, I mean Kevin? Have you even seen him today, he looks like he's going to murder someone."
"Dunder-Mifflin this is Pam," she answered the phone lazily as she typed something into the search bar of her computer. Jim approached the desk to get some jellybeans, "one moment please, I'll transfer you to Michael."
He smiled as he separated the candy in his palm, "Looks like this is the only candy anyone will get all day,"
She slammed down to phone to the receiver hard and turned her attention back to the computer. He watched her with concern, and when she finally took notice to him she questioned, "Is there something that you need?"
His face fell as he stood from leaning against the desk, "No," he shook her head and made his way back to his desk with a somber face.
Dwight watched the act, a shadow of a smile creeping to his lips.
"Jim is pretending to be in a fight with Pam, to see if I'll comfort him as he did to me a few weeks ago," Dwight shook his head, an evil grin playing on his lips, "Well I'm on to this little prank. Not really his best work either, he's even starting to slack off there. I could do a better job at pranking me"
Michael swung to door to his office open and ran into the middle of the room, "You guys I have news, news you aren't going to believe," Michael stopped speaking and looked directly into the camera, "The best news ever."
"If this is about how we're allowed to celebrate Halloween again—"
"Shut up, Stanley," Michael demanded as he pointed at the lethargic man, "Apparently there is a three way tie for salesman of the year."
"What?" Dwight stood from his seat, almost insulted.
"Am I in it?" Phyllis brightened at the idea.
Michael chuckled, "I said salesman didn't I?" her face faltered and he continued to speak, "Apparently, Dwight and Jim were neck in neck in sales,"
"Implausible," Dwight shook his head, "there is no way that slacker could ever amount to anything more than me."
"Doesn't Jim have the higher job title?" Andy questioned aloud.
"That," Dwight turned to Andy, "Is just a oversight."
"Well Andy is in the battle too," Michael announced with mild bafflement, "It says here he's been on the most sales calls this year, so he's in the running too."
"Yes," Andy pumped the air with his hand, "Chalk one up to the Grand master of Funk."
Jim turned towards Andy, "Why would a rapper get salesman of the year."
"Yeah," Kevin agreed with a stiff nod, "Shouldn't he get rapper of the year?"
"Settle down, Kevin," Michael demanded loudly as the large man glanced at him with half open eyes.
"How is this good news?" Oscar questioned.
Michael chortled almost sinisterly, "Because I get to decide the tiebreaker."
"Oh dear Lord," Stanley sighed.
"I hope Michael picks some sort of martial arts, hand-to-hand combat for the tiebreaker," Dwight stared into the camera and deadpanned, "I have several different weapons from different Asian cultures in my desk now, and if I need to I can wrap my tie around my head for a sweatband. I'm unstoppable."
"Well" Andy sighed and leaned back in his chair, "I've been hopping Michael takes us to a karaoke club, and have the decider be whoever can croon to the sweetest Dean Martin tune. I'd totally wipe the floor at that," he stopped and added, "Other than that, I'm kind of screwed."
"Honestly," Jim looked into the camera, "I don't care who wins or how, I have other things to worry about. "
Pam stood in the kitchen at the stove waiting for the kettle to boil. She sighed as she picked small pieces of lint off of her shirt, and almost jumped when the door opened and Jim entered the small room.
"Hey," he greeted as he moved to the coffee pot. He glanced over to her as he waited for a response.
She watched him and answered reservedly, "Hi."
"How was your art class last night?" he reached in the cupboard above to retrieve sugar.
She shrugged her face stoic, her answer curt, "It was fine."
Jim set his coffee cup on the counter and turned to her, "Alright, what's wrong?"
"Nothing," she replied before he could even finish his question.
"Pam," he shook his head as she turned off the stove before her kettle could boil and moved swiftly to get around him, "Pam," he reached out and caught her by the forearm gently, "What is it."
"I-"she paused and glanced at the cameras, and then out to the office, where no one had noticed them yet, "I can't talk about it here."
He nodded and released her arm, watching intently as she walked through the office and out the main door. After a few minutes he left his cup on the counter and moved out into the office.
"So what do you think that Michael will make us do?" Andy questioned Dwight who was reviewing the contents of the envelopes Pam had printed off for him earlier.
"I don't know," Dwight answered, a hint of thought in his voice, "But whatever it is, it will be challenging."
Andy nodded and asked, "What percentage is there that it will be a singing contest?" When Dwight didn't answer Andy turned to Jim who was walking by, "Tuna, what do you think—"
"Not now," he replied as he walked passed his desk out the door to the office.
Phyllis turned in her chair, "Oh dear," she whispered as she watched him go.
"Oh please," Dwight scoffed, as he stared at the door as well, "It's all just a poorly played out prank."
She stood on the landing between the first and second floor, pacing in the small space, with her index finger in her mouth to nibble on the nail nervously. He walked down the stairs with his hands in his pockets, looking only half as nervous as he felt. The cameras were almost tucked around the corner, just enough room to film clearly the interaction between the two.
Jim stopped in the middle of her path, forcing her to stop and look at him, "What's going on?"
Pressing her lips together and playing with the butterfly on her necklace she stared at him a moment before checking all around the stairwell for any other signs of life. He watched her unmoving, and noiseless.
Finally, with a nervous giggle and a side glance up the stairs she informed, "I'm late."
Coming Up - Michael gets some inspiration for his tiebreaker from an odd place