The EdWin Chronicles

Written By - Stripe

Excerpt 1 - Annoyances

Of the many occupations Edward Elric had believed he might have in the future, teaching was not one of them. He had no desire to ever stand up in front of a class of little kids and try and teach them to read or some other basic life skill. He had a short temper, which was easily lit by any child between the ages of 4 and 12.

Which then begged the question of why, exactly, he was teaching now. He knew the how already. The schoolteacher had fallen ill for a few days and, for whatever reason, he'd been elected to teach the little brats all they needed to know. Was he even old enough to be a teacher? He was barely above the drinking age - did that really make for a proper teacher?

Well, maybe the drinking was a requirement. Maybe the only way to deal with the little brats was to drink their annoyances away once you got home.

Still. Surely there was someone better suited to the job than him. They all knew the basics. Hell, Ed hadn't even graduated elementary school. By the time most of his classmates were getting out of school, he was already in Central, working as a State Alchemist.

Yet the teacher, now with premature graying hair had come to him, suggesting he teach. Well, actually, she had gone to Al, and Al had said yes without asking him first.

Edward would pay his brother back one day. He just wasn't sure how yet. But he couldn't exactly go ahead and say "no" on just short notice - especially not to the teacher who used to throw chalk at him to get him to pay attention during math class. She wasn't as bad as Izumi - who had taught him alchemy with her bare fists - or Winry - who taught him wrenches hurt a hell of a lot more than chalk ever could - but he still was wary in angering her.

So he was stuck for the time being.

"Alright," Edward said with an exasperated tone of voice, looking at the curious faces. "So what did all of you learn last time you had class?" He was met with blank stares. Finally, one girl raised her hand and, without waiting for him to offer her permission, began to speak.

"Where's our normal teacher?" she asked with an annoying, bossy sort of tone. Ed frowned. He disliked this girl already.

"She's sick," he responded, trying to hide the irritation from his voice. "Now, what were you learning?" The students all looked at each other, as if trying to determine what to do. Ed raised an eyebrow. They were smarter than they looked. If he didn't know what they were being taught, then he couldn't very well teach it, meaning they'd have a free day. Well, he wasn't about to let that happen. The former state alchemist paused for a few minutes, waiting to see if any of the students would crack.

Nope. Not a one. Well then.

"OK, since no one seems to remember," with this, he cast a critical eye around the classroom, "I'll give you a special lesson today." And with that, he picked up a piece of chalk and began to draw a circle on the board. He could hear a few of the kids groan, while a few others seemed genuinely interested. "Who here has heard of alchemy?" With the circle complete, he turned to see everybody raising their hands. He turned back to his work and drew two overlapping traingles as well, making a star-shape. When he truned back around to see the class's response, everyone was looking at the shape he'd made curiously.

Everyone, that was, except for the girl who'd asked him the question before, who was raising her hand and staring vacantly. Ed glared at her. Seeing that she had his attention, she began to speak. "You're Mr. Edward, right?"

"Yeah," he replied dully. "Now, does anybody know anything about the runes-"

"And you live with Ms. Winry, right?" the girl asked, looking up at him with big innocent eyes. Ed was cautious. He didn't care what people said - kids were evil, scheming little creatures. He didn't trust her. She was plotting something.

"For the time being. Now-"

"Are you two gonna get married?" Ed nearly choked at this question. Kids really didn't respect their teachers anymore.

"That's none of your business." He should have just said no. They weren't even dating - they were just friends. But somehow, Ed couldn't help but hope that her question might one day be answered with a "yes."

Another girl decided to speak up this time. "Ooo... You are, aren't you? That's so sweet!" She squealed.

"What?" Edward could tell his face was heating up. "No! No, we're not!" God, he was right. These kids were plotting against him. The kids paused for a moment. Great. Now maybe they'd keep their stupid little mouths closed...

"Now, anyways, the fundamental princible in alchemy is-"

"Do you want to marry her?" Ed resisted the temptation to pull his hair out. Oh for goodness sakes. Could these kids not drop the subject? Maybe if he kept on going they'd stop it.

"-is Equivelent Exchange. You can't recieve unless-"

"You like her, don't you?" Even the boys in the class were set against him, it seemed.

"-unless you give something of equal value. For instance, you-"

"You're blushing!" This was another girl, one who was probably old enough to be leaving school next year. Alright, this tactic didn't seem to be working well. These kids certainly knew how to be aggravating.

"-you cannot change a glass of water into a tree-"

"Ed and Winry sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-"

"ALRIGHT! I give! Fine, I do love Winry! I do want to marry her! But that isn't any of your business!" The class shrunk back slightly, alarmed by his sudden outburst. This was exactly why he shouldn't teach. "You guys won't be getting married for ten more years anyways. Why should you care? Just let me teach, and then you can go on your way. Oh," he paused, chalk in his hand as he prepared to write something on the board. "And if you mention a word of this to anybody - especially Winry - I will kill you."

And the class was extremely well-behaved the rest of the day. Needless to say, Edward Elric did not handle annoyances well.


Alphonse Elric stood in front of the school-age children in Resembool, leaning down to be the same height as them. "So, how did it go?" he asked them quietly, a mischevious grin across his face. "What'd he say?"

The first girl to speak up raised her hand.

"Yes, Mindy?"

"He said he loved Ms. Winry and that he wanted to marry her," she answered with a sweet smile.

"Good job. Now, how much was it? 200 sens each?" The children nodded vigorously, hands outstretched. Al managed to empty his wallet paying them - luckily he had enough on him to give everyone their share. They all left after receiving their money, likely to buy some candy or something. Al straightened, pausing for a moment. It was probably about time for him to go home.

Sure, maybe he was short several thousand sen.

But the bargaining power he now held against his older brother was priceless.

Author's Notes -

This one I actually wrote in July sometime. But I hads forgotten about so I never uploaded it. I do enjoy reading it, tho. It was very fun to write. I think it's one of my favorite works so far.

Yeah. I have an actual multi-chapter fanfiction I should be working on. But one-shots are too fun to write. x3 Anyways, I'll just upload Edwin-related oneshots here whenever I feel fit. Hope you like them!