I own nothing—thanks for the reviews.
And this was inspired by angeldylan628's oneshot, although it is completely different I got the idea from her. Pathan is one of my guilty ships. I think they had potential. It starts with the finale of season two. Some things might be different simply because my memory isn't that great lol. Oh, Haley comes back at the end of the summer and she never gets pregnant.
She wasn't gone as in dead. She was gone as in she left to go on tour with some arrogant musician that promised her fame.
Nathan hadn't exactly been the easiest person to get along with lately. He was rude and mean. He shut people out and put them down for no reason. He turned to alcohol and was suspended from school. He crashed a race car. Nobody knew if he did it on purpose or not.
Regardless of his actions his friends remain true. Brooke and Lucas visit. Brooke even cook's dinner…well she orders in. Lucas tries to get deep. He told his little brother that Haley still loves him; she just needed to do this. Well, his questioning is why did she need to do it? He can't help but be bitter. He has dreams too, but he never thought of giving up what they had to pursue them.
He doesn't know what he and Haley are anymore. They exchanged vows and rings. They made promises to each other. But in the end; her love for music won out over her love for him. He wishes he could say that he didn't care. That he didn't think about her when he saw a box of macaroni and cheese, or when it rained really bad last week. But that's impossible because he still loves her and he probably always will. There is one thing he realizes though; he doesn't need her like he thought he did.
The one person that had really been there for him was a certain curly blonde. She knew what it was like to have people leave; hell she was the poster child for it. She knew how it felt to have people say they love you, only to disappoint and hurt you. She was the same blonde that was currently packing his bags. He looked up from his cell phone only for a moment.
"Lemme ask you something…are you not helping me move you because it brings back bad memories or because you're a lazy pile of crap?" she asks rhetorically. Nathan let out a chuckle. Her sarcasm has always been something that hit a certain spot with him.
"You mean bad memories like these?" he asks with a smirk as he hands her a picture.
"Oh God", she grumbles.
"Can you believe we started out the year like that?"
He watches as she stares at the photo; they both let themselves remember that day.
"Nathan…stop", Peyton feigned annoyance as he picked her up and ran to the water.
"I can't hear you babe", he joked as the waves splashed against them. He was running full force until the water was deep enough. A loud splash echoed.
"God, I don't believe you", she said with a glare. Nathan simply smiled. He was about to throw out a smart comment, but something stopped him. It was like time stood still. He reached out and pulled her flush against his body. Only the receding water was making its way through.
"I love you", he said as he brushed a curl from her face. She stood there a moment, somewhat in shock. He almost never made the attempt of saying 'I love you' first and if he did it was because they were arguing and he wanted to end it.
She smiled brightly before responding. "I love you too"
"You were never happier", he says without thinking. They lock eyes. He wasn't sure how he meant that statement and the deer in headlights look lets him know that she doesn't either. He panics and quickly throws her another smirk. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
Nathan Scott was her first of many things. He was her first boyfriend. He was the first boy she ever slept with. He was the first boy she ever loved. She would be lying if she said part of her didn't still love him. But he was married. And marriage was something that was bigger then them. Bigger then high school. Plus, she was kind of over the whole love triangle thing.
"You were never hornier", she quips back. They quickly fell into banter.
Whatever moment they had was long forgotten.
They stumble into her bedroom. Given the fact that Lucas has been an ass, Haley is back, that crazy woman is apparently her mother, and his father was nearly burned alive; Nathan thought they needed a few drinks. He doesn't talk the whole time they're at the bar. Instead he listens to her. That Ellie woman is still hounding her. Apparently Lucas has been groveling again and in Nathan's mind he rightfully should. He knows that their relationship wasn't perfect, but he would never call their time together a mistake. It was everything but that.
"Tonight was fun", Peyton muses. They are both lying on her bed, flat on their backs. They are laying so close that their arms are touching and Nathan is doing his best to control a shiver that runs down his spine.
"This whole summer was fun", Nathan says thoughtfully. Peyton can only nod in agreement.
It was them again the world the past few months. Starting out when he showed up in her room after Brooke left only to find her in a pile of sobs. After he comforted her and punched Lucas in the face, they vowed to put everything in the past and enjoy the summer.
"I'm glad we got to hang out. I've missed you", she says quietly and instantly feels her cheeks redden. There will always be something about Nathan that makes her feel like a little school girl. She hears him sigh; it's not a sigh of uncertainty, it's a sigh of contentment.
He doesn't respond instead he reaches for her hand and squeezes it. She smiles before squeezing it back. That's his way of letting her know all the things he's feeling. Nathan was never one for speeches, that's more the blonde haired boy's job. The boy she isn't speaking, or the boy she can't speak to. Nathan told him to stay away and she's grateful because even though he still shows up, it's not like it would be.
"Haley's back", she turns to face him. They were together the whole night and he never mentioned it.
"Wow", she draws out, Nathan simply nods. He feels her go to pull her hand away and in a desperate attempt to keep her close he grasps her hand. Another minute goes by and she tightens her grip also. Together they lay in the silence like they had all those nights in the summer.
She couldn't help but feel sad. The summer is over. School starts in two days and everything will change. She doesn't want it to but she knows it will. She will have to face Lucas on a daily basis. Ellie is her birth mother. Dan was in a fire and nobody's sure what will happen to him. And Haley is back. That thought alone makes Peyton want to freak out.
Nathan lets his mind wander also. It's been nice spending time with her. To actually be friends and not have the pressures of anything else. They have completely re-established the bond they once had and both are grateful for it. The only problem is that Nathan feels himself slowly falling for his first love. He can't help but feel that she is too; maybe that's him being hopeful.
Either way he knows deep down they're both holding onto each other.
"Hey Nathan", Peyton quietly grabs his attention; "do you think you and Haley will get back together?" she can feel his gaze on her but she doesn't dare look over at him. Her eyes rest on their entangled fingers.
For a minute he freezes. He considers lying, he's not sure why. But he doesn't want this moment to end and he knows it will. He also knows she's been lied to enough this summer, her whole life actually. He takes a deep breath before answering.
"Probably", his eyes dart to their hands.
Her grip loosens and now it's just him holding on to her.
He's standing at the altar, waiting for the woman he loves to walk down so that they can reclaim their love for each other. He hears the piano begin and knows this is it. He feels his breath catch in his throat and can't help but curse himself. Peyton Sawyer is walking towards him in a deep red dress that stops before her knees. Her hair is done up and her makeup makes her big green eyes pop.
"You had your chance", she says teasingly. At least she thinks it's teasingly. She's not too sure anymore. She knows how she feels about Lucas, but at the same time there's this small part of her that doesn't want to let go of the times she shared with Nathan. She imagines he feels the same things.
For a minute Nathan considers her words. What if he and Peyton had stayed together? How would everything be different? He knows that he does love Haley. But part of him knows that he's clinging to her because it's easier then to try a new relationship; especially a relationship with the fiery blonde.
He pretends not to notice that she steals glances at him as he speaks to Haley. He pretends that he keeps his full attention on his wife as he speaks to her. In the end he chickens out. He proclaims his love for Haley and they share their first dance as man and wife; again.
He watches her from across the room. She's talking with his uncle. She's animated as she speaks with him, but Nathan's known her long enough to know the pain that hides behind those eyes. His uncle walks away and he approaches her.
"Hey", he says quietly. She smiles, somewhat sadly.
"You wanna dance?" he asks as he nods to the wooden floor. She hesitates, but he gives her a genuine smile and she melts. He watches her nod and he immediately grabs her hand and leads the way; not giving her a chance to change her mind.
"So, I guess congratulations are in order", she whispers they sway to the song.
"Thanks", he says without emotion.
They continue to dance. It's just the two of them. There's no angry Brooke. No confused Lucas. And no wife Haley. It's just Nathan and Peyton. The boy who used to break her heart on a daily basis and the girl who used to shut him out. But they're not those people anymore. Things changed. Everything changed.
"I know I told you this already, but I'm really glad you're okay", he whispers; causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand. He was scared out of his mind when he heard she was still in there and he knows if things were different he would have been running in their for her.
"I am too", she takes in a deep breath.
Closing her eyes she lets her mind wander. She imagines that this is their wedding day. She's in his arms as his wife and everything is okay. Her body relaxes and for a moment she's completely content. She's complete. This is the boy she's supposed to be with; she can feel it deep down. But for now they'll both pretend that they're okay with how things are.
That he's with a woman who he is slowly falling out of love with and she's willing to ruin a ten year friendship over a boy she knows isn't the one.
He can hear her gasp and his heart sinks a little. Slowly, he turns to look at her. She's got a scowl on her face that scares the crap out of him. Considering he dated her for two and a half years that's gotta say something.
He knows Haley isn't next to him anymore. He knows she's upset, but he honestly doesn't care. In his opinion she has no reason to be. That was way before he even knew Haley James existed. But it was when Peyton Sawyer was a huge part of his life. Out of the corner of his eye he sees her walk away, he takes a few steps, but not in her direction.
"Peyton", he pleads.
"Don't Nathan", her voice shakes and she berates herself. It shouldn't bother her this much.
"Peyton, I'm sorry. I was drunk and it was stupid", they're still standing in front of their entire class.
"Nathan, I'm not doing this now. Let it be", she pleads with him. He sighs before nodding his head. Lucas comes behind them and wraps his arm around her shoulder before they both leave Nathan's house house. Lucas, judging by the demeanor in which they entered the room earlier he has a good guess as to what they were going to do. If he's being honest with himself, it makes him furious.
He turns to face his senior class. Many of them are wondering why he didn't chase after his wife. The woman they watched him remarry not too long ago; he sighs, wishing he had an answer.
He walks into her room the next day and stops. She is literally beating the crap out of her dummy.
"Named Nathan?" He asks uneasily.
"Why, ya screw my best friend?"
"I'm sorry, okay and I know I'm late, I should have been here two years ago"
"Well why weren't you?" she asks in desperation. She needs to know why he was so horrible. She also needs to know why she still cares so much. They haven't been together in years, but it feels like he just cheated on her. She's with Lucas and she loves him. But, there's something about Nathan Scott that will always have her heart doing somersaults.
"Because I was a jerk"
She gives her dummy a strong right hook, "Why Brooke…did you really hate me that much?" her voice quivers as she finishes and he can feel the wind get knocked out of him. She needs to know that everyone was wrong about them.
"No I didn't hate you…I", his mind is screaming, I loved you. More then I have ever loved anyone, more then I will ever love anyone, but instead he settles for, "…I just didn't care about anybody but myself."
"Look I hooked up with Brooke because she was drunk and I was a bastard. It didn't mean anything. Just a mistake we both wanted to forget", he wishes there was more he could do to let her know how sorry he is.
"Hmm, explains why you taped it", she snarls at him.
"Did I mention I was a stupid jerk?" he offers her pathetically. He lets out a breath when she barely smirks before letting out a puff of air.
"Look, when you get to prom–"
"I'm not going", he freezes. He knows for a fact that she does want to go. She and Brooke have been talking about their senior prom since they were eight.
"Hey, I know you're mad at me and Brooke, but don't take this out on Lucas"
"I'm not…I just don't care", she says with an empty smile, "I'm you two years ago"
"No you're not", she looks away, she knows Nathan is taking this whole conversation seriously and he should. She just wishes he had done it years ago. "You never were. Why do you think you stayed with me when I treated you so bad?" he silently berates himself for how he used to treat her. Hearing himself say that makes him sick.
"I'm a masochist", she says seriously.
He ignores her interruption and continues with his speech, "Because you care. That's who you are", he says; the admiration in his voice doesn't go unnoticed, "You care about Lucas because you know he loves you. You probably still care about me and Brooke because you now that we love you too", he hopes she still loves him and he hopes she knows that he still loves her.
"Face it Peyton, you care", he goes to take a step closer, but second guesses it. In that moment all he wants to do was hold her. Whenever his dad was giving him a hard time he would walk into her house and up the creaky stairs. If she was sleeping he would crawl into bed next to her and simply hold her. She never got scared; she would just snuggle up against him. And for that moment everything was okay.
He remembers what it felt like during their English project. She told him she was proud of him and then she threw her arms around his neck. It was the most physical contact they'd had in nearly a year. Looking back now, it kills him to remember that day. She was really proud of him; of the man he had become. Now; to see her like this reminds him of everything he used to be and he doesn't like the old Nathan.
"So, get dressed and go with Lucas", he feels his heart tear a little at those words, "I'll see you there", he turned and walked to her door; stopping before he was all the way out, "save me a dance", he basically asked her.
She doesn't give him an answer and he doesn't wait for one.
Graduation is a day that all seniors look forward to. And that couldn't be truer for the five people that were seated in the auditorium. Haley had finished her speech. Everyone applauded. Their caps were thrown. They had gone to a party and then to the Rivercourt for one last time.
"Sooo", Peyton drew out.
"Sooo", Nathan mimicked her actions. It was just them; alone. They hadn't been alone since she screamed at him in her room. Everyone had left already; they don't know why they're the only two left. Somehow it makes sense though; it's been them against everything before.
"You'll love him forever huh?" Nathan hopes the bitterness would go unnoticed. She faces him with a quirked brow.
"What does it matter", she challenges him. He shrugs indifferently.
"It doesn't, I was just trying to make conversation"
"Always and forever right?" she asks in the same tone he had. He sighs.
"Look, this is our last night together. I don't wanna fight", he says sincerely as he looks at her. She instantly feels herself caving and is brought back to when they dated. Only this time is different, this time she can tell he truly means it.
"Okay", she says as she fixes her gaze on the sky. His eyes linger on her and he takes in everything he can. They're going their separate ways tomorrow and he needs to remember everything he can about her; he knows that won't be difficult. He still remembers everything from when they dated. He hopes his brother knows what he has now and doesn't screw it up.
"Stop staring at me", Peyton says quietly and Nathan blushes.
"Is Nathan Scott blushing", she feigns shock as she places a hand on her chest. He grumbles under his breath and she laughs at him. He loves her laugh. It's the only time she really lets herself go; she's completely unguarded.
"I'm gunna miss you Sawyer", he says as he grabs her hand. She looks at his larger hand covering her and remembers the night at her house.
"I'm gunna miss you too Scott", she whispers as he voice cracks slightly.
They both can't help but to wish things were different.
He hasn't been home in years. He walks down Main Street taking in everything he can. It looks different, yet the same; if that was even possible. He so focused on his thoughts that he doesn't notice the woman walking in his direction.
"Ow", the woman squeaks out as he stumbles into her. He's brought back to reality.
"I'm sooo sorry", he apologizes as he picks up the random papers that fell from her arms. He stops when he sees the word TRIC across the top.
"Nathan Scott", she whispers in awe. He feels a slight tug at the corner of his lips.
"Peyton Sawyer", by the time the words leave his mouth her arms are around his neck. He locks his arms tightly around her waist. In an instant they're teenagers again; young and in love.
When they break apart she takes a moment to look at him. His dark hair is still short. That smirk will forever be plastered to his face. His left hand is ring less. She knew this though.
"We've been divorced since freshman year", he says once he notices her staring. They told everyone school was more then they expected. Their workloads were heavy and it was too difficult on them. That's not the truth though; he simply fell out of love with her.
She nods her head, "I know. Haley came home that summer", he lets out a noise to let her know he understands. He's honestly too focused on her to do anything else. It may have been six years, but she's still the same Peyton. Her curls are wild. Her legs are long and tanned from the summer sun; the scar on her calf barely noticeable. Her eyes still hold some mystery to them, as if saying you'll never know everything about me.
She clears her throat and hopes he'll stop staring. She can't help but blush. Nathan Scott is checking her out. As she runs her fingers through her hair he sees it. The glint in the sunlight makes his eyes squint and his heart break. She's engaged.
"Lucas", she says in the same manner he announced his divorce.
"Congratulations", he says halfheartedly. She sighs.
"Nathan, can we stop doing this?" she asks in frustration. He tilts his head.
"I haven't heard from you in years and now you can't even pretend to be happy for me, for your brother" she tries her best to control her volume; their still on the sidewalk.
"How can I be happy?" he continues without waiting for a response, "You're getting married", he yelled.
"You were married six months after we broke up", she yelled back at him, "but I stood by and watched Nathan, I watched as you promised to love someone else forever. Always and forever if I remember correctly", she says bitterly.
"We were young and I was stupid"
"That's not a good enough answer anymore", she whispers.
"I love you", he says quietly, so quiet he's not sure she heard him. As he looks up into her eyes he knows she did.
"I know, I love you too", she says as her voice quivers.
"Then why can't things–"
"Because, I love him too. He's a good man Nathan; he's done a lot for me over the years. I can't just leave him", he hangs his head dejectedly. He knows she right. He had his time with Haley and she deserves her time with Lucas.
"I have to go. We have a meeting with the planner", he nods again and she leans up to kiss his cheek. He inhales deeply; never wanting to forget her scent.
"Bye Peyt", he whispers as she turns on her heels and walks in the other direction.
She's stay with Lucas, but he doesn't hold her the way Nathan used to. He doesn't smirk to get his way. He can't make her furious and smile at the same time. He doesn't get flustered when she asks him about a book.
He's sure that whatever girl he ends up with won't smell the same. She won't quirk her eyebrow when she's curious. She won't use sarcasm as a shield. She won't be able to fill him in on the newest band or the most popular song.
Because as the old saying goes…you never forget you're first love.
Okay so that's it. I don't think it's the best thing I've ever done, but oh well. Leave some and let me know what you think.