Author's Note: Do I even need to still say it? This came from a conversation with Mistress Winowyl.
Team Seven had just returned from their mission to Wave. They had brought with them a guest and a new recruit.
"Welcome to Konoha." Naruto said with a cheesy grin on his face. "I'm sure you're going to love it here Haku."
Haku was staring about a bit wide eyed. "Thank you, I hope I can be accepted."
"I wouldn't worry about that." Kakashi told him. "Unlike Mist we admire those with a blood line limit. There are no bounties on you and you are not registered as a Missing Nin. I'm sure the Hokage will be happy not only to have you join us but to start your own clan."
Sakura came up and put a hand on Haku's arm. "I'll be happy to introduce you to the other kunoichi in the village and show you all the best places to shop."
Haku dipped his head. "Thank you Sakura-san."
Naruto quickly planted a hand on his mouth to stifle a giggle. During the long trip back the rest of the team had assumed that Haku was a girl. For whatever reason Haku had never cleared up the misunderstanding. Naruto had kept quiet about it too because it had been so funny seeing how the others were treating 'her'.
Haku turned to Kakashi nervously. "Now that I am here where will I be staying?"
Naruto was about to offer to let Haku stay at his place when Sasuke spoke up.
"You can stay with me."
Everyone immediately looked at him in surprise.
"That's unexpectedly generous of you Sasuke." Kakashi said with a lifted eyebrow.
Sasuke gave a careless shrug. "Not really, I've got an entire district that belongs to me."
"But… but Sasuke-kun," Sakura said. "You've never even invited me to visit."
"I'm not inviting Haku for a visit. I am just giving a future Leaf ninja a place to stay. So what do you say Haku?"
Haku gave Sasuke a dazzling smile. "I would like that Sasuke-kun."
The two of them departed while the rest of Team Seven watched.
"Well that was weird," Naruto said. "Since when is Sasuke actually friendly with anybody?"
"Shut up Naruto!" Sakura barked. Despite her outburst she was fidgeting. "Though I have to admit… I've never seen him be so, well, pleasant towards a girl before."
"Ah, our young avenger is growing up." Kakashi said with a chuckle.
"What is that supposed to mean?" Sakura asked.
"Just that even Sasuke may be vulnerable to the right sort of feminine charms."
Sakura looked physically ill.
Naruto meanwhile couldn't keep from giggling. "Oh man, this is just too good."
Upon Kakashi's recommendation and an examination of skills Haku was entered into the ranks of Leaf shinobi. Though his abilities were clearly deserving of Chunin rank it was decided Haku would serve a six month probationary period as the fifth member of Team Seven. This was done both to make Haku's integration into the village easier, and also to allow Kakashi to keep an eye on him until he had proved his loyalty to Konoha.
While this was going on Sasuke and Haku spent a great deal of time together, not only training but also in conversation. The dynamic was far different than that between Sasuke and Naruto, as there didn't seem to be any element of competition. Rather the two of them strove to help each other, without any concern for who was the stronger.
Sakura did not miss the growing closeness between them. Her reaction was to see Haku as a rival, as she did Ino. On multiple occasions she tried to challenge Haku directly, in hopes of impressing Sasuke-kun.
This did not work out well for her.
Sakura was lying on the ground in Training Area 17. Six senbons were sticking out of her chest and arms. She was twitching and unable to speak or move beyond making her left foot tap.
"I am sorry Sakura-san." Haku said politely. "I will go ahead and restore your mobility."
"No need to rush, let's wait until the training session is over first." Sasuke said.
Her left foot tapped vigorously as her team practiced around her.
"So Haku, how about we have dinner together?" Sasuke asked. "We can discuss the mission tomorrow and you can tell me about that jutsu you used."
"I would be happy to Sasuke-kun."
"But Sasuke-kun!" Sakura complained. "You've never asked me out to dinner. Don't you want to plan things with me too?"
"That's okay Sakura, I trust you can stand there and hold a kunai without planning it out."
After a mission to Bird Country, as the team was headed back, Sasuke darted into the woods for a moment. When he came out he had in his hands a single rose that was a shade of light pink.
Sakura's eyes widened and she placed both hands over her heart. "Oh Sasuke-kun its lovely!"
"I thought so too." He handed it to Haku. "For you."
Haku's cheeks blushed upon accepting the flower. "Thank you, I will treasure it."
Sakura's jaw dropped and she was barely able to keep walking.
Through all of this Naruto looked on and struggled not to burst out laughing. He couldn't believe that the oh so perfect Uchiha Sasuke had been so completely and totally fooled. He was sooooo going to enjoy rubbing the bastard's face in it. The only thing Naruto was waiting for was the exact right moment to announce the truth.
The moment came on the morning of the last day of Haku's six month probation.
Sasuke and Haku arrived holding hands and looking very happy.
"I have an announcement to make. Haku and I have decided to get married."
"Congratulations." Kakashi said.
Sakura looked on the verge of fainting.
Naruto meanwhile bent over laughing hysterically.
"Naruto-kun," Haku said in a sad tone. "That's not very nice. Sasuke and I both hoped you would be happy for us."
Sasuke glared at him. "What's so funny idiot?"
Wiping tears from his eyes Naruto pointed at Haku. "The fact that your future wife is a GUY!"
"What?" Sakura gasped.
"It's true," Naruto laughed. "Haku is a boy. You're engaged to another guy Sasuke!"
Sasuke shrugged. "Yeah, I know. So does this mean you don't want to come to the wedding?"
"Huh?" Naruto blinked looked at Haku and then Sasuke. "You know? And you still asked him to marry you?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Sasuke answered. "Haku has everything I want in a mate; intelligence, patience, kindness, warmth, and he is a great ninja."
Haku gave a big smile. "Plus I'm a freak in bed."
"Yep." Sasuke nodded.
Naruto and Sakura both began to throw up.
"So will there be an open bar at the reception?" Kakashi asked.
A couple hours later…
"Damn it Forehead!" Ino shouted. "I just knew this would happen! I just knew spending all his time around you would turn him gay!"
"Oh shut up Ino!"