Author's Note: Don't blame me. Winowyl made me.

XXX

Response to Naruto manga 682

"Sasuke, I think we need to use that technique." Naruto said.

Sasuke sent him a look of disbelief. "Are you serious?"

"We don't know unless we try."

Sasuke sighed. "Fine, if there's ever a chance it can create an opening for the rinnegan I suppose it's worth a shot."

"What do you have in mind Naruto?" Sakura asked. She knew it had to be something amazing if Sasuke-kun was willing to follow his lead.

Naruto smiled proudly. "It's a jutsu I've been practicing in secret even more than the rasengan." With no further explanation Naruto launched his attack. "Sexy Reverse Harem No Jutsu!"

Puffs of smoke filled the ground surrounding Naruto. When they cleared there were six pairs of kage bunshins in the image of Sasuke and Itachi.

Naked.

Holding each other.

And kissing one another lovingly.

Kaguya stared for a moment with all three eyes, stunned. Then a river of blood burst from her nose and collapsed unconscious.

"Yes!" The clones were dispelled and Naruto stood there pumping an arm triumphantly into the air.

Kakashi shook his head ruefully. "He truly is the most unpredictable ninja the world has ever seen. Don't you agree Sakura? Sakura…" Kakashi looked over his shoulder to see her crumpled on the ground, twitching and with a trickle of blood spilling from her nose.

Sasuke blinked. "That actually worked?"

Naruto grinned. "Trust me, after all my time around Sakura I knew it would. Women are every bit as vulnerable to this as men, no matter how powerful they might be."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

Flashback

Shizune cried out. "Naruto! What have you done? She'll kill you for this!"

"But… but I was just testing a theory."

A naked Jiraiya and Orochimaru were in the middle of a heavy petting session. Lady Tsunade was on the floor of her office with a gusher coming out of her nose.

Present

Naruto shuddered. "Trust me, you don't want to know."