Title: Five Things
Shawn Never Told His Father
Disclaimer: All standard disclaimers apply here.
Spoilers: Minor for S1
Genre: Gen, angst
Notes: Beta'ed by my lovely yamitai :)
There are things that Shawn never told his father, some things he kept only to himself…
Shawn never told his father that he lost his virginity to one of his father's female colleagues when he was just 14-years-old. And that this… act… wasn't one hundred percent consensual on Shawn's part. If his father had raged over the first, he would have gone ballistic over the second. And no matter what Henry Spencer thought of his son, Shawn really didn't want his father to end up in jail or lose his job. And so he bragged about his sexual prowess in front of the guys at school and if maybe he woke up sweat-drenched and terrified at night, feeling dirty and helpless… his father never knew because he was at work, too busy to pay attention…
Shawn never told his father that he was claustrophobic. It wasn't all that important and this phobia of his only kicked in when he was locked up in small, dark places for a long period of time. He was convinced that it was a natural thing because hey, everybody has a phobia or three, right? But then Sharon came along, the cute psychology major and she started to poke and prod – and not just physically – and it came to Shawn as a big surprise when she found the root of his problem in his childhood, in the long rainy summer when he was 11-years-old and his father ordered him to stay in the garage until he finished the dog house he started to work on. The dog house was never finished…
Shawn never told his father that he almost died of a drugs overdose during his first semester in college - he never told his father about college, period. The whole overdose thing wasn't his fault, his father hammered the "Drugs Are Bad For You" motto too thoroughly into his brain to disregard it even for fleeting pleasure. No, it was during a frat party when the guys slipped something into his drink and found it hilarious when Shawn started hallucinating and then passed out on the sidewalk in front of the frat house. If girls from the med school didn't live next door… Well, after that, he couldn't even step on the campus without breaking into a cold sweat.
Shawn never told his father that he was almost infected with HIV. And no, it wasn't because of unprotected sex or some twisted sexual escapade. No, it happened during the time he worked as a lifeguard on a beach down the coast. When he dragged the screeching drunk girl from the waves, she bit him and even though her teeth barely broke his skin, Shawn was ordered to take a HIV test that turned from precaution to necessity when the girl was confirmed to be a patient with a full blown AIDS that had gone AWOL from the free clinic downtown. The next year was the worst year in Shawn's life.
Shawn never told his father that he wasn't listed as Shawn's emergency contact anymore. When Shawn crashed his motorcycle, it was just a lucky chance that Henry was informed about his son's accident. If it wasn't for the fact that one of the EMTs was Henry Spencer's old poker buddy, Shawn's father would have never even learned about his son almost getting killed because Shawn strictly forbade the doctor and nurses calling anyone, even Gus, who was now listed as the person to be notified in his paperwork. And so, when Shawn finally picked up his phone at 9 am, having let the ten previous calls go to his voicemail, and Henry raved and yelled at his son for being irresponsible and reckless, Shawn just gritted his teeth and kept his mouth shut.
Because there are some things you just don't tell your father…