Well...I've finally done it. A lemony yaoi. And I need to be shot and kicked.

Simon: -kicks my leg-

me: ...Not you!

So...yeah. I dunno. I think I'm on something bad...I'm such a bad girl... -headdesk- I sicken me.



"How long?" a certain blonde aske4d quietly. Sasori was confused, and gruffly asked,

"How long what, Deidara?" The answer took him completely by surprise.

"Since you've last had sex, yeah." The pyro just said it! Like it was nothing or something! No sense...

Sasori stared wide-eyed at him for a moment, then looked away uncomfortably. Bit embarrassing, really...Dei caught on pretty quickly, though, and grinned.

"You never got any, did you?"

Sasori frowned and looked more determinedly away. Deidara crawled across the bed, playfully laning over his danna's outstretched legs. He whispered, "You needa get laid" with a devious smirk.

Finally making eye contatc, Sasori tilted his head and warily asked, "You're volunteering?" Dei just laughed at this, causing Sasori to frown again.

"Nope. You are, un." And before he knew what was happening, Sasori had been tackled, pinned to the bed and half-undressed.

Deidara had just finished handcuffing Sasori to the bedpost and relieving them both of their shirts when, "Remind me again why I'm chained to the bed?"

Dei smiled as he pulled off his black pants. "'Cause it's more fun this way, yeah." Sasori rolled his eyes in a vein attempt at hiding his sudden fascination with his partner's manhood. His face was already red, and they hadn't even done anything!

The blonde saw Sasori's eyes darting back and forth, though, and his grin widened. He tugged out his ponytail and teasingly sakd, "Don't worry. You'll get to be real close and personal with this, un..." He motioned to his crotch.

Sasori gaped at his (Deidara's) crudeness and blushed redder. He was beginning to worry about losing the little blood he had to his cheeks.

Without warning, Deidara dove at Sasori and started kissing him roughly. The erdhead had never been kissed like that before and was taken aback. At first, he didn't know what to do. But eventally he relaxed and returned it.

And just as the poor little puppetmaster was getting comfortable with where they were, the agressive blonde shoved one of his hands down the other's pants. Sasori gasped and squirmed when the hand pushed past his boxers and licked his erection. He moaned into Deidara's smiling lips and gasped for breath.

"N-no slack, eh, Deidara?" he panted, only to recieve a manic grin and a light squeeze. He made a funny groaning sounds as Dei retreated, removing the puppet's pants and boxers in a slow, seductive manner. Sasori watched him closely, heart pounding, as he lowered his mouth to Sasori's length. Deidara kept his eye one Sasori as well, truly enjoying messing with him.

The redhead was even more surprised when Deidara abruptly pulled back (he had his mouth around the head, not touching it) and blew gently across it. Sasori screamed in pleasure and lockd his wide eyes on his smirking partner. "D-Dei...Do that again...!"

Dei turned his head to the side a bit, smiling expectantly. Sasori blushed, frowning again, and turned away. "Please."

"As you wish," the blonde said simply, blowing a bit harder this time before taking it fully in his mouth. Sasori threw back his head in half a scream. He hadn't felt in so long, yet Deidara...

Deidara. He knew he was at the boy's mercy. As he writhed beneath his touch and moaned at the sight of him, he knew.

His breath was growing tighter by the second when it finally caught and he screamed, simultaneously cumming in Deidara's mouth. The blonde lapped up and swallowed most of the sticky substance, but there was still some splattered about. He leaned over the tired redhead and attempted to kiss him, but Sasori moved his head back.

Deidara looked at him questioningly, then followed his line of sight; Deidara's lips, or the area around them, one. He sat back and smiled, wiping a bit of seed from his cheek. "Oh, this? This is called 'cum,'" he said, like some intellegent something-or-other explaining a well-known plant. "You would've known that if you'd ever fucked someone."

"Or been fucked," Sasori added quietly. Deidara blinked thoughtfully.

"I guess, yeah." And the next thing our beloved ez-Suna nin knew, Deidara had the wooden legs on his shoulders and was getting into position. He noticed Sasori staring at him and blinked again. "What? You didnt honestly think we were done, did you?" He laughed again and leaned over the other for a moment, smiling deviously and, with a sexy growl said, "We're only halfway there... 3"

Sasori gasped and thrashed when Deidara pushed his cock (er..."in"...-having issues-) He had a look of concentration on his face and appeared to be searching for something. Sasori wasn't paying much attention to that, however.

"Ah, Dei...It-it hurts! Ah..."

"I'm sorry, Sasori no Danna. It'll be better soon, yeah." Sadly, Deidara didn't have much sympathy for the ailing puppet just then. He paused. "It would be a lot easier if you'd be still..."

Sasori tried not to flinch. He really did. But it was such an alien pain...He bit hard on his lip as Deidara shifted. He was starting to lose track of his body, but was dragged back to reality by Deidara shoving his knees apart.

"Sit...still...please...un," Deidara panted. He appeared to be losing his patience. And talking to himself. "So...tight...nn..."

He finally consented after looking up to find Sasori with his jaw clenched, eyes shut tight, nails cutting into the palms of his hands. He crawled over and lay next o the gasping puppet and cupped his face, earnestly whispering, "I'm sorry, Danna. I'll fix it, hmm." He kissed the wooden cheek and waited for Sasori to calm down. Then he sat over him and smiled.

Sasori watched him warily as he pushed his tongue into his mouth. the faint moan was muffled only by Deidara's lips. Eventually he got caught up in the kiss just enough for Deidara to...

Get his hand on Sasori's length. The redhead moaned again, but he was okay with this. Used to it, by then.

It was hard to decide whether to concentrate more on Deidara kissing him or...doing all those wonderful things he was doing. Such skilled tongues...

Deidara gently rubbed at the inside of Sasori's thighs and pulled away, leaving the puppetmaster confused and with the end of his tongue poking out. It was Deidara's turn to gasp. Other than uberly cute, the blonde thought Sasori's face (especially his tongue...) was inviting and hot.

He shook his head and gave a reassuring smile, before softly urging Sasori to open his mouth. The smaller curiously obeyed, and was surprised when three fingers were pressed onto his tongue. He moaned when Deidara began massaging said tongue, and creakd open an eye to find Deidara staring at him, a faint expression of discomfort on his face.

"Erm...Sasori..I'm kinda gonna need your help with this part, yeah..." He seemed embarrassed.

"Oh," Sasori said thickly, and began licking and sucking on the digits. Deidara moaned slighty and was forced to look away for fear of losing it.

Sasori, on the other hand, smiled against the warm flesh. He rather liked the reaction he got when nibbling at the edge of a finger, or tracing his tongue alone them...

Dei suddenly yanked back his hand, opened his mouth on Sasori's, and pushed the unused hand down on Sasori's hip. The redhead blinked at the sudden change, but wasn't complaining. He kissed back fiercely, giving the blonde dominance with only a little hesitation.

Again, he became very distracted with Deidara leaving bitemarks and trails of saliva down his neck. So distracted that he barely noticed the hand with the wet fingers moving downward, or the other hand lifting his legs back of his (Dei's) shoulders. No, the blonde was far too skilled to allow that...

Sasori gasped again when Deidara pulled away and propped back, looking purposefully at him. Sasori recognized the position and looked pleadingly at his partner, who returned the pitiful gaze. "It'll be okay this time, un. I promise." He waited.

Sasori gulped and nodded, and Dei put one finger in the redhead's entrance. He flinched, but was ready for it this time. Or so he thought.

Deidara barced himself on Sasori's knee and put in another finger, causing Sasori to gasp and squirm even more. Nearly there...

"Shhh," he soothed, moving his fingers in a scissoring motion, making Sasori scream.


"It's alright..."


He put in the last finger and moved them carefully, searching for that sweet spot...

"Hah...Dei," Sasori panted, young face contorted with pain. This invasion was yet to be enjoyable. "I thought sex was supposed to feel good...?!"

...There it was...Dei smiled. "It is. And it will be." Just one more movement, and...


Muahahaha, Dei thought triumphantly. He gave the shaken Sasori a moment to calm down.

"Oh, oh...D-Dei...That was-"

"Just the beginning." And on that note, he pushed heavily into Sasori, hitting that special place and getting another scream of pleasure.

He pulled out and watched the panting puppet man.

"Oh...P-please...More..." Sasori begged.

"Hmm, whatever you say." He started slowly, but got faster and harder and faster and oh he couldn't stand it much longer.

"Haa...Deidaraa...Yes...Mmmmhhh!" The sounds Sasori was making began to get less and less understandable, and Deidara almost laughed. So warm. So beautiful. His.

Yes, Deidara's decided. Sasori was (somehow) the best one night stand he'd ever had, and he was keeping him. Like a pet. Yes.

"Dh...Y-! Agh!" he couldn't help the tiny snort for that one.

"Hai, un," he said absently, now concentrating on his rather wild thrusts. "Almost...there..."

Lights popped in the duo's eeys as they each came with a scream of the other's name.

Deidara collapsed next to his (repeat: his) exhausted uke and licked his cheek. Said exhausted uke's eyes drifted to the blonde in question.

"You," Dei panted. "Are mine. MINE. No one can fuck you but me." He touched Sasori's cheek lovingly. "Understand?"

Sasori was taken aback by the posessiveness, but nodded anyway. He wouldn't want anyone else if they offered...

They lay tehre in silence for a few moments before Deidara sat up, smiling, and slyly asked, "Ready for round two?"

Sasori blinked. "Only if you untie me."

Deidara glanced at the handcuffs, then the door, and back to Sasori. He shuffled vloser and reached for the keys. "Promise not to run away."

Sasori sighed and muttered, "I won't."

Dei smirked and undid one cuff. He suddenly grabbed Sasori's damp cock and growled, "Pro-mise," decorating each syllable with a tightening grip.

Sasori's hips bucked, and his free hand flew to Dei's messy hair. "I pr-promise, okay?! Didn't really need convincing..."

Dei smiled contentedly and undid the other cuff. "Okay," he said cheerily and held Sasori against his chest, kissing his neck.

Sasori moaned, just a little, and fisted bits of his partner's hair. "S-see? Now I can cling to you properly..."

A few moments later, Dei was laughing hysterically while Sasori blushed, realizing how silly that sounded.


-sigh- And again, I sicken me.

Simon: -pats my head- It's okay Kir. You sicken me too.

me: ...Not helping. T T