A Sex Talk With Edward

Okay, I was writing another chapter for 'Trying', when I got this idea. It's a one-shot, Hope you guys like it!

I knew something was wrong.

Carlisle had been keeping his thoughts carefully censored for the past few days, and Emmet and Jasper burst out in fits of laughter every time I entered the room.

Alice just looked at me sympathetically.

Rosalie's sarcastic, disparaging comments were normal.

This was why I spent all my time with Bella. No secrets, No sexually active couples thinking very UNcensored things and situations that they would try out later.

My siblings (and parents) had one-track minds.

From what I'd been able to catch, which wasn't much, Sex was on everyone's mind.

Which really wasn't anything new.

As I said, living dead soul-mates + no chance of pregnancyBrothel

Also, the only think Carlisle let slip was that he had something to talk to me about.

This was a conundrum.

Had I done anything very bad lately? I didn't think so. And even if I did, he wouldn't know because I barely spend any time at the house. I just come here to change.

Maybe he wanted to discuss where we would move after Forks. London was nice.

Or maybe he wanted to talk about what kind of house we would buy, or maybe we were going to live separately this time.

Yes, that was probably it. . . .

I was broken out of my reverie when Carlisle called softly from his study, "Edward? Could I speak to you for a minute please?"

I got there in under a second.

"Yes, Carlisle?"

He hesitated. This was going to be interesting.

"Edward, I know Alice is planning the wedding as we speak, and that Bella wants her last human experience to be. . .sex. And I wanted To talk to you about that."

I pinched the bridge of my nose.

Oh God.

And how exactly did he know that?

Ugh. Don't tell me. Alice.

Not Carlisle too. Charlie, I could understand, because obviously, being a father, and Bella being a girl. . . he'd want to . . . .be. . .reassured.

But a sex talk? With Carlisle?

Oh please, I don't ask for much, but I'm asking for this. . . .

No such luck.

A whirlwind was swirling around his head.

He'd thought this through.

And he was going to talk to me about it.

"Now, I understand the amount of self-control you've had to exercise around Bella. And I admire that. But, do you really think, if put in this. . . . .situation. . . that you'll be able to. . ." He searched for a word.

Please don't say 'perform', please don't say 'perform', please don't say. . . .

"-control yourself?"

Sigh. Relief. But this did not change the fact that Carlisle was having a sex talk with me.

If I had blood, I would have been tomato red by now.

I mean, I obviously studied all this in medical school already. So what was so different now?

A doctor was talking to me about sex.

It didn't make a difference that the doctor happened to be my father.

LIE. IT DID. IT SO DID.

Now, I can completely empathize with Bella.

But I was in for the worst. Carlisle was far more knowledgeable about this than Charlie. He knew the mechanics.

And we were going to have a long, drawn out discussion about it.

Heaven help me.