"Stop right there Drakken!" Kim Possible yelled from where she was standing, on top of a pile of defeated red-clad henchmen. She had received news from Wade that her arch enemy had set up shop in an old abandoned factory down by the piers of Go City harbor.
"KIM POSSIBLE?! My henchmen!" Drakken groaned. "Bah! No matter. You are just in time to witness the effect of my tesla cannon. With this machine I will be able to harness the power of lightning, something no man has been able to do before me!"
"Jeez Doc, could you get any more full of yourself?" his assistant asked, rolling her eyes at her employer.
"Shego, I'm gloating here!" he snapped back at her.
"And what do you mean by 'you are just in time'?" the green-clad woman continued. "We, no you, were waiting for her to get here."
"Ngharghnnnn… SILENCE!" the mad scientist growled at her before turning back to his enemy. "Now where was I? Ah yes, unlimited power!" he grinned. "Power only accessible to Mother Nature until this very day. I, Dr. Drakken, have found a way to create synthetic lightning bolts just as powerful as the real thing! Whole armies will tremble before my might! I will bring the world to it's knees!" Drakken raised his fists in the air, laughing madly like only he can do.
"That's fascinating Dr. D," Shego said, her voice saturated with sarcasm. Then she turned to Kim. "So Kimmie, where's the boyfriend? Busy playing video games?"
Drakken stopped laughing and looked at the redhead. "Yes, where is the buffoon? By now he's usually running around with his pants around his ankles."
"You know my name. Why do you keep calling me a buffoon?" the villain then heard behind him. Drakken whipped around to see Ron fiddling with the controls of the ray cannon. The madman looked at him for a moment, with a slightly bemused expression, before reacting.
"Why is Kim Possible the distraction while you… Stop pressing the… SHEGO!"
"Finally." The villainous sidekick smirked before igniting her plasma powers and charging at the cheerleader heroine.
"No!" Drakken's voice cut through the air. "You handle the boy, Shego. I'll deal with Kim Possible."
"Uh…" was the only thing escaping Shego and Kim's mouths. "Are you sure?"
"Yes," Drakken answered. Then he pointed in Ron's direction. "Now please remove the little doofus from my machine so I can use it!"
Shego looked from her boss to Kim and shrugged before turning around and starting her dash towards the blonde boy. "This better be good!" she exclaimed as she ran past Drakken.
"Now is it the blue button, the green button or the red button?" Ron asked the little rodent residing in his pocket. "I mean red is classic self-destruct color but even Drakken knows to mix it up once in a while, right?"
Rufus looked back up at him, responding with vigorous nodding. "Uh-huh!"
"So in conclusion… I don't know which one to press."
"Why not just press 'em all, Sport?"
"Simple yet effective," Ron said, smiling to himself. "A-Boo-Yah! The Ronster's got mad deduction skills! "
"Not you, kid," Shego said, spinning him around. "Me!"
"You know, I was wondering why that little voice in my head sounded so un-me and nasty like." The green skinned villainess growled and slashed at him, and he just managed to avoid her razor sharp, claw like gloves. "KP!" he screamed, jumping and ducking for his life.
"Not now, Ron!" Kim yelled back. There was another enemy that needed to be dealt with. Her arch foe. Drakken had followed Shego over to the doomsday device and was climbing into the gun turret. The redhead quickly tried to size up the situation while reaching for her grappling gun. "Okay," she thought to herself. "Get to the ray, grab Drakken, defeat Shego. No big." She aimed the modified hairdryer at a girder above the mad scientist's head and was about to fire when Drakken revealed the ace he'd had up his sleeve.
"Surprise surprise, Kim Possible!" He giggled as he sat down at the second control panel behind the cannon itself and flipped a small switch. Six giant, metallic, insectoid limbs emerged from the bottom of the weapon platform, raising the entire turret itself off the ground.
Kim dived out of the way of a swiping, mechanized appendage and rolled onto her feet. "This is different," she said to herself, getting up and grappling up to the beam she'd aimed at earlier.
Drakken smirked as the entire turret rotated to face her. "Finally, after years of putting up with your constant meddling and annoying annoyingness, I'm now going to put an end to you once and…"
"Are you actually narrating what you're doing while you're doing it?" Shego asked as she clawed at Ron again, still hot on his heels. "Can't ya just push the button or whatever and be done with it?"
Drakken's right eye twitched in anger as he got up from where he was sitting, walked over to the edge of the gun platform and looked down. "Could you please just let me have my moment here, Shego? I mean really, just once I'd like to be able to monologue without you interrupting! Is that too much to ask?"
Shego stopped in her tracks and looked back up at him. "Well yeah, pretty much."
"Aaaarrgh… Ooh… Gah! Bah! I… I just… WOW! ANGRY!"
"I mean, I get the whole 'being an important part of villain etiquette' part of it but c'mon Doc, it's boring." the green and black clad woman tried explaining. "I think it's boring. The henchmen think it's boring. Princess probably thinks it's boring." Then she pointed at Ron who'd also stopped running by now. "Even the goofball sidekick thinks it's boring."
"Well that's a lame excuse," Drakken replied, folding his arms across his chest and pouting. "He has the attention span of a gnat!"
"Hey! In the room here people!" Ron yelled before screaming as Shego charged at him again.
Drakken muttered as he turned around to face his nemesis. "Now, onto your aforementioned doom." Unfortunately Kim had used the window of opportunity provided by his and Shego's bickering, and escaped the tesla cannon's aim. The mad scientist blinked twice. "Hmm," he said to himself. "I probably should've seen that coming."
"Yes you should." Kim dropped down from another metal beam and onto the mechanical monstrosity, landing about two feet away from the blue skinned villain. "I'm closing you down Drakken, and punching you out!"
"Punching me… Oh, because we're in a factory, is it?" Drakken asked, sighing. "I hate bad puns." The next thing he knew he was flying through the air before landing on the floor. "Oh this is seriously bad for my back," he coughed as he got up onto his own two feet, frowning. "My tesla cannon! Taken from me!"
"Don't worry Dr. D," Shego walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder, having just finished tying Ron up with an old piece of chain she'd found. "I'm sure it wouldn't have worked anyway," she told him, smirking.
Drakken shot her a nasty look before pulling a small remote out of his pocket and pressing the large red button. A deadpan female voice could be heard from every nook and cranny of the massive building. "Self destruct sequence initiated. Ten seconds remaining."
The villain brushed himself off and straightened his lab coat. Then he gave Kim his attention. "Farewell…"
"Nine seconds remaining."
"Farewell Kim Possible! You think you're all that, but…"
"Eight seconds remaining."
Drakken gritted his teeth. "You think you're all that, but you're not! I'll be…"
"Seven seconds remaining."
"Oh forget it!" he groaned, hurrying out the main entrance with Shego following close behind. The two villains jumped into their hovercar and took off, speeding away as the factory exploded behind them.
"Oh I hate this place! Shego, have I told you much I hate this place?"
"Every time we're here, Doc."
"Well I do." Drakken was pacing back and forth among the piles of cardboard boxes that filled the timeshare lair he shared with Dementor, his rival. Hisses, growls and grumbling sounds escaped his mouth between sentences. "It's so unfair!"
Shego looked up from where she was sitting with her feet on a table, reading a magazine. "Yup, thought I felt a rant coming."
Drakken grimaced at her before continuing. "Every time I have that cheerleading brat right were I want her something happens. It's logically and mathematically impossible for anyone to always be able to snatch victory right out of their opponent's grasp like she's done!"
"Oh I know where this is going." His assistant sneered to herself before giving her boss her best impression of him. "I'm so smart, blah blah blah. Kimmie's mean! Yadda yadda yadda. Minor setback. The world will be mine." She smiled as her focus fell back to her reading material and she turned a page. "So whatcha think? Pretty good impression, huh?"
The next thing she knew Drakken's gloved hand slammed down on top of the magazine, ripping it out of her hands and pinning it to the table. Shego was about to give him a piece of her mind when she looked up and saw the absolutely livid expression on his face. "IT'S ALWAYS JUST A MINOR SETBACK!" he snarled before regaining his composure. "Last year it was a setback. Last month it was a setback. Last week it was a setback. Well those setbacks add up! We've been at this for, what, over half a decade now Shego, and we're still no closer to our goal."
The female villain looked at her boss with a slightly anxious expression on her face. "Ya know, when your temper really flares up like that you're kinda intimidating." Then she smirked. "I like intimidating."
It had been a few weeks since Drakken and Shego returned from their vacation to Australia. While they where there things had taken a turn as far as their relationship was concerned. They were no longer just employer and employee. No longer just friends. They were a couple. A real life, genuine couple, with everything that comes with it. Hugs, kisses and romance, but also arguments, bickering and shouting. They were still Drakken and Shego after all, and nothing could change them.
"I mean the luck that girl has, it's unfathomable." Drakken continued his rant after sending a bemused look in his girlfriend's direction.
Shego shrugged, picking her magazine back up. "Maybe it's karma?"
"Ya know, good stuff only happens to people who do good. Yin and Yang and all that."
"Hmmm, maybe some sort of ray that'll polarize it… Like a misfortune pistol?"
"What?" Shego looked back up at him, not believing her ears. "Doc, do you even know how farfetched that sounds?"
Drakken sighed. "Just doing some brainstorming."
"Then I'd suggest you add more brain into the mix." his assistant mocked, flipping through the rest of the pages of her reading material, before putting it down and getting up from her chair.
"Where are you going?" the mad genius wondered.
"To get some water. Thirsty."
Drakken's eyes suddenly flew wide open and a smile found it's way across his face. "Water! Water, Shego!"
"Yeah, water. That's what I'm gettin'." Shego rolled her eyes. "Just told ya."
"The clear, nutritious liquid that forms the very basis of our existence," Drakken continued, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.
His assistant, and girlfriend, sighed and tapped her knuckles on the side of his head. "Doy! Earth to Dr. D."
"What?" he responded, pushing her hand away.
"Mind telling me whatcha got cookin' in that noggin of yours?"
"Pack your bags Shego." Drakken told her, grinning. "I've got water on the brain."
Author's Note: I'd like to thank Zoza for her beta reading of the first chapter. Check out her story, Lucre the Matchmaker. It's well worth a look.