Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. I don't own my sanity, either. Rather, it owns me, in a sense. Sanity. Heh. Or lack thereof.

But hey, who needs sanity, right? xD

And here is ANOTHER one I came up with on a whim. Enjoy.

I wish there was another way. I do.


But there wasn't.

"Hey, Roxy, you okay?"

There never was…

Axel's worry began to show, an uncharacteristic trait for someone such as he. His aqua eyes swam with anxiety as his hands grabbed the shoulders of his shorter friend and shook the blond gently.

Roxas's head twitched – strangely – as though he'd just been awoken from a sort of slumber. His eyes scanned the dismal room around him, resting on the tall redhead in the end. He stared for a long time at the fiery hair atop the taller man's head, swearing it was twisting and dancing like it truly was fire. He could almost see it…

"What's wrong with the kid?"

That voice.

"I don't know! He won't move, he won't say anything! I think we should take him to the hospital!" exclaimed a terrified Axel. He reached for Roxas's hands, shivering when he found the skin cold as ice. He tossed a frantic look at the blonde woman standing in the doorway.

"We? Do what you want to, but leave me out of it," the woman spat distastefully, scowling in the direction of Roxas. Her eyes never actually met the figure of the boy, instead settling on a space on the far wall.

Axel was afraid to release the hands he clutched so dearly, afraid they would break. He didn't move in fear that the blond would shatter into millions of tiny pieces that would be impossible to put back together again.

"He gets like this sometimes…" muttered the redhead, not so much explaining to the woman as keeping himself occupied with his own voice. Tearing himself away from Roxas, he shuffled around in the kitchen, throwing things around in his desperate search for car keys. When he realized how luckless the search was, he turned to the woman with a pleading look in his eyes. "Can we take your car, Larxene?"

Larxene wrinkled her nose, shifting to lean on the side of the doorway. She looked her razor-like nails over, idly wondering if she had any black nail polish left. Preoccupied with mentally retracing her steps to where she left said bottle of nail polish, her reply was absentminded.

"No, I don't think so. Not for that brat. Not on your life," she hissed. Her eyes hardened – just a little – as her indifference wavered. She remembered her fingers around the kid's neck so vividly, and although she'd promised herself not to dwell on it, she couldn't help but question where she'd gone wrong. She'd almost had that wretched kid dead! How did the tables turn?

When Larxene glanced up to find Axel's expression begging and pleading, her own expression twisted into an embodiment of anger. "Why do you always get so warped over this brat?!" She hated Axel – not that she didn't before – hated him more than ever now. Her voice had broken, and that simply did not happen. Ever. Not once had her voice broken before. And now that it had, and over something as ridiculous as Roxas, she was very much infuriated.

She pondered it as she examined the icy form of Roxas, finding his eyes dead and expression blank. Maybe she did kill him…?

"Why won't you help him?" Axel shouted, his voice breaking as well. He seemed not to notice; at least, if he did, he wasn't showing it in the least.

"You don't know a single thing about that…that thing!" screamed Larxene. Her hands were wound into tight fists, her face drawn into a formidable glare. Axel's glare was pathetic, as his worry for Roxas overpowered his anger towards Larxene. "He's a rotten little manipulator!"

"Well fan-fucking-tastic! Something the three of us have in common!"


Both redhead and seething woman turned to stare at the blinking Roxas. Roxas eyed Larxene thoughtfully, the gleam in his eyes sending shivers up her spine. There was a grin there, though Axel could not see it. Larxene saw it. She knew that grin. She felt like she was going to die right where she stood.

"I'm okay, Axel," Roxas said slowly, pulling his eyes from the woman in the doorway as he smiled up at the redhead beside him. "I'm sorry, I just flaked again." The smile was sincere and so innocent that he almost radiated light. Light was a thing most different from what Larxene saw rolling off him; the exact polar opposite.

Larxene, nervous, took a step away from the doorway, backing into the hall. "If you're coming, get your ass out here. I'll leave without you otherwise. And that thing can't come."

Roxas listened closely to the sound of her heels clicking against the floor as she fled.

"Roxas, are you sure you're okay?" asked Axel, much too eager for an answer. Roxas smiled again, nodding.

"Yes. I'm sorry I worried you. The doctor says my medication won't start working until—"

"I don't care about your medication, Roxas! There's nothing wrong with your head! Are you okay?" Axel demanded, wrapping his arms around the blond. He felt Roxas return the gesture, although there was little feeling in it. In just the short amount of time the embrace lasted, Axel was astounded at how it seemed to have a healing power in it. It was addicting, after one had known Roxas for so long. He was almost honored to be allowed to hug him, considering the amount of power that could be found in such a simple act.

"Yes. I told you. I'm alright," Roxas repeated, pulling away slightly to make it clear he was smiling and not showing any sign of despair. He made a hinting glance towards the open door. "You'd better hurry. She's waiting for you."

Axel looked torn, if just for a split second. His eyes shifted all over the apartment, avoiding Roxas as he struggled to make a decision. Roxas sighed.

"It's okay, Axel. Go," he urged with a mocking tone. When Axel was sure it was pure amusement he found in the bright blue eyes of Roxas, he turned and dashed towards the door. He flinched upon hearing an impatient honking from outside.

It's… okay…

But then he stopped. He froze in the doorway. He didn't turn around, in fear of what he might see. The chill of Roxas's stare slithered up his spine like a snake ready to rip the veins from his neck.

"You smell like that again."

"…I'm sorry."

"It has a scent, you know."

"…I…I know."

"I hate it."

Afraid of the hateful look he might find on Roxas, Axel left without a word. Roxas's face was, surprisingly, devoid of emotion. His steps towards the door were slow, and it may have taken him hours to reach it. He wasn't keeping track.

When he did reach it, he took his time in shutting it. The movements were slow and delicate, as though he were taking great care in using only a moderate amount of strength instead of the force he wanted to…

No other way.

The door shut with a click, leaving him in complete and utter silence that closed in around him like screaming voices. Darkness seemed to drown out the sunlight filtering in through the windows as it enveloped the room. It stopped at Roxas's feet, like black flames licking at him but unable to touch him at all.

That was when he knew it was decided.

He didn't smile again until his hands were covered in her blood. He didn't laugh until he was tearing out her intestines. He wasn't thoroughly enjoying himself until he felt her beating heart in his hands. But the best part…

…was hearing her scream.

No wonder Axel liked her so much.

But then…


Roxas knew that Axel would find someone else. There would always be someone else. Maybe it was his own fault for not telling Axel what he felt.

He felt…?

What did he feel?

All he knew was that he would not allow Axel to leave and come back smelling like that. Not anymore. Axel would not return to the apartment with a searing guilt twisting his lovely smile into an apologetic statement. Roxas loved his smile too much to let him warp it anymore. Roxas loved him too much to let him leave again. Roxas needed him too much to let him go, day after day, watch him leave with more of himself dying inside each time.

Axel was his. Axel would always be his. He could not – would not – escape it. Not ever… because he wasn't going to leave anymore… the door would not be open any longer. It would close.

And Roxas would be the one to close it.

When Axel walked through the door, he knew something was wrong. The lights were all turned off again. He knew it was Roxas (who else would it have been?), and worry overcame him as he suspected the worst. He knew he shouldn't have left Roxas alone like that. Even if it was for Larxene, he knew Roxas needed him more. But lately, Roxas scared him. The fear of it all only increased the guilt he felt for what he knew he was doing to the blond.

He decided that he wasn't going to be with Larxene anymore. He didn't even… well, she wasn't what he needed. He loved Roxas, and he was going to tell Roxas that if it killed him.

Even if it killed him.

"Hey, Rox?" Axel called, feeling around the wall for the switch he knew was there but couldn't seem to find. It took him at least five minutes to actually find it, but when he did, it decided it wasn't going to work. Sighing, he figured that Roxas was probably messing with the breaker box again. Fantastic. "Roxas, you can't keep doing this. I'm kinda running out of excuses to give the super."

The door shut behind him, and he was sure he didn't touch that. It would have been nerve-wracking, except that he was a little used to Roxas's recent behavior.

He was surprised when he felt Roxas wrap his arms around his neck. He was very surprised when he felt Roxas kiss him. The kiss lasted a very long time – so long that Axel wondered how in the hell Roxas could not breathe for so long – and by the time it was over, Roxas had his hands tangled and twisted in Axel's hair. The kiss had a strange feeling to it that made Axel wary of everything around him. It was like a goodbye. A goodbye that was slowly but surely coming upon him.

"You're not going to leave me, Axel," Roxas whispered into the redhead's ear. Axel's eyes began to adjust, even if it was only a little bit. He strained his own eyes to find those of Roxas, who was now on top of him. He wondered, vaguely, how that managed to happen.

"No, I'm not going anywhere. Roxas, I—" He was interrupted by a finger delicately being placed over his lips. A sign to silence himself.

"I know."

"You know?"

"I know, Axel. You're not going anywhere. Not anymore."

None of the neighbors asked why there was so much noise that day. None of them complained. In fact, all of them were so silent about the matter it was as if nothing ever happened. The only thing that changed was that the tall redhead never left the apartment. The small blond never left, either. And there was no blond woman who came to visit, causing a barrage of screaming and yelling. No one made a move to check on the pair of young men living next door.

When the smell became unbearable, they moved out. But no one, not even the superintendent, ever bothered to look. No one opened the door. Nobody.

The door remained closed. Forever.

I wish there was another way. I do. But someone had to close it.