Title: Not The Mommy
Genre: Naruto
Warnings & Pairings & Characters: Yaoi & Kakairu, Mpreg
Summary: ummm.. mpreg?
Status: WIP, self-beta'd

Not The Mommy, Chapter 1

Kakashi woke with a groan and a smile as he snuggled into his still sleeping lover or what was supposed to be the warm body of Iruka. After a few seconds of questing fingers he realized his love had been replaced by a pillow. The sleepy jounin raised his head and glanced around.

"Thought you might be waking soon," Iruka pulled Kakashi's attention to the edge of the bed with his soft voice. "I brought you some things," the chunnin mentioned as he held out both hands towards the groggy man.

Kakashi peered at the offerings and worked himself into a sitting position with a few flinches and one low 'ouch'. Iruka held a glass of water and a few pain pills which were greedily devoured. After finishing off the last of the lovely liquid he looked into Iruka's eyes and had to grin at the mix of warmth, concern and laughter. "I enjoyed it," Kakashi boasted even as he laid back down.

Iruka gave in and laughed. "You were drunk, very drunk." He placed the empty glass on the bedside table and crawled over Kakashi to retrieve his normal spot from the pillow.

"And you took very kinky advantage of that," Kakashi mentioned as he draped himself across his chuunin and prepared for more sleep. It was a rare and completely free Saturday morning for the both of them, and he wasn't planning on wasting it by either of them getting out of bed.

1 month later

'It's not a bad thing, Kakashi-sensei," Naruto was desperately trying to persuade his teacher. "It's just you've been kind of out of it lately and we're all worried."

Kakashi kept staring fixatedly at the blonde without saying a word but was able to catch Sakura's rapidly bobbing pink head off to the side and even heard a grunt from Sasuke. "You just accused me of not being focused on the mission."

Naruto bravely nodded.

"The mission where all we had to do was make sure the scroll was delivered into the hands of the Kazekage."

"Kakashi-sensei," Sakura pleaded prettily. "You fell off the tree limb."

"I was asleep," he bit out.

"And you're not just ignoring us," Naruto pointed out. "Plus you actually sound kind of angry."

Kakashi closed his exposed eye and took a deep breath. Then he realized that he was angry. He sighed and took a step back. "We should take a break," he recommended to his team. "It's something every shinobi should do occasionally. We'll meet at the bridge in three days and resume missions then." With a quick twist of his fingers he disappeared in a puff of chakra smoke. Team Seven's younger members peered suspiciously at each other, but didn't question their good fortune.

1 Week later

"I'm taking you to Tsunade."


"Kakashi, you've thrown up three times this week, haven't been eating anything other than miso soup, and extended Team Seven's vacation for four days. Something is obviously wrong." Iruka stared at his lover laying stretched out on the bed and sighed. "It's easy for me to see that you're sick."

"It's just a virus," Kakashi whimpered. "I'm over it, probably won't throw up again."

Iruka stared at the clock. "I have to be at the academy soon, but send Pakkun if you need me, or send him to Tsunade." He smoothed a hand over Kakashi's forehead. "I'll give you two more days, but if you…" He was interrupted as Kakashi pushed him aside and ran for the toilet only to begin making hideous retching sounds.

"We're going, and we're going as soon as you can stand up again," Iruka ordered as he wet a rag and crouched beside his sick lover. Kakashi could only give in and nod as he held on to the toilet bowl.

3 Hours Later

Tsunade stormed into the examination room already spouting words to frighten the nurses away. "Stupid elders," she started and went from there. "Even Shizune wasn't allowed to leave the meeting after we got the note. Brat, what did you do!"

Kakashi peered at her over the edge of his book from his crosslegged position on the bed and chirped at her in a cheery voice. "I'm fine, feel fine, no problems."

Tsunade raised an eyebrow and turned to Iruka.

"He's been throwing up in the mornings," Kakashi scowled as the teacher ratted him out. "Four times now over the past week, and he hasn't been eating anything stronger than soup and some breads." Iruka paused and scowled back at his lover. "He's also been sleeping all day and night this past week."

"That's not unusual for me on vacation," Kakashi defended himself.

Iruka turned to Tsunade. "Three times I've been able to come home without him waking up. That is definitely unusual for him, vacation or not."

Tsunade nodded in agreement. "Not to mention the fact that you turned in for voluntary vacation, anyway." She stepped over to her patient and peered at him closely. "You look fine, no skin discoloration, but maybe exhausted."

She continued to talk softly to herself as she went through the examination. Tsunade was always careful with her jounin making sure she examined them herself instead of leaving it up to the hospital staff for even their minor complaints. Her hand glowed with a soft green light as she ran it over various areas of his body and finally stopped it over his stomach. "Take your shirt and vest off and lie down,"

Kakashi could only do as ordered and watched Iruka as he lay there. His lover's eyes were following Tsunade's hands as they traveled back and forth across his chest in a downward pattern until she even slid them over his lower abdomen. The amount of worry in those brown eyes had Kakashi beginning to worry himself. If it was a simple virus, Tsunade would have found it long ago.

"Hatake," the Hokage finally said in a serious tone, her palm now resting on his abdomen. "Tell me everything you've been doing with jutsus within the last two months, enemy and friend."

Kakashi quivered as he felt her pulling on his chakra and closed his eye to concentrate. "I haven't been hit by any enemy jutsus for some time, but a few kunai and one senbon in my arm. Sasuke and I have been training with chidori, and he showed me the hand seals for a few of Orochimaru's jutsus that he hadn't completely figured out yet. For a challenge of Gai's I used Naruto's sexy-no-jutsu to reach a high note."

Iruka laughed. "You turned into a girl to sing a song?"

"It was a very girly song," Kakashi explained. "Gai claimed me quite hip to be willing to change sexes in order to win against him."

"Well, that's something," Tsunade said and stepped back. "Now on to the more personal questions; who tops?"

Kakashi sat up without being given permission and laughed at Iruka's red face. "I do," he admitted easily.


"Except for a few times."

"When was the last time you bottomed?"

"A month ago."

With a nod Tsunade grabbed a notepad from her pocket and started scribbling. "This is a ninja village," she muttered to herself. "I've seen odder things, but this…" She tore the sheet off and handed it to Kakashi. "I want you back here this evening and probably again tomorrow. There's a whole battery of tests I'll need to run."

Iruka had stood and stepped over to the examining table with a worried frown on his face. "Tests? Is it not just a virus?"

Tsunade glanced at him sharply then rubbed her forehead. "One last question, brat, and be completely truthful. Have you bottomed for any man other than Iruka within the last two months?"

Kakashi's answer was quick and sounded slightly disgusted. "None."

"Not even on a mission?"

"I've only allowed Iruka to ever do that."

The Hokage nodded then smiled and placed a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "There's no easy way to say this," she said in a friendly tone. "But you're going to be a daddy."


She turned to Kakashi and pointed to his stomach. "Everything I'm reading says you've got a tiny parasite inside you that's going to take another eight months to come out. You will come back this evening and I'll run some more tests to find out how this happened, but you're definitely pregnant." Tsunade stepped forward with a glowing hand and once more placed it on Kakashi's abdomen. "You can check the chakra yourself, though you won't be able to hear a heartbeat for a few more weeks." She watched as the copy-nin slowly placed a few fingers beside hers and concentrated.

"I see what you mean," he said in an uneven tone then looked over to Iruka. "It seems I'm pregnant." Kakashi could only watch as his lover dropped heavily to the floor. He looked back at Tsunade who could only shrug.

"Aren't I supposed to be the one doing that?"

The Next Day

They were once more in front of Tsunade as she pronounced her lack of answers. "For all I know you wished on a star really hard, and it came true," she yelled while constantly flipping through a file full of papers.

"So it's not just an odd jutsu making it seem like he is," Iruka asked anxiously. The Hokage shook her head. "And it's not a virus giving the same symptoms?" Again, she shook her head. Iruka looked at Kakashi with wide eyes. "But you're a guy," he protested.

"And as of now he's a pregnant guy on medical leave from all missions that would take him out of the village or put him in any sort of jeopardy," Tsunade added. "I have no idea how you got this way or how it's going to affect you other than the normal pregnancy woes. Further testing will probably prove that the child belongs to Iruka, but right now we should still be suspicious that it could be the result of an unknown enemy jutsu." She paused and took a deep breath. "And since we have confirmed that you are definitely pregnant there is always the option of ridding yourself of the pregnancy."

Both men were quiet.

"It is an option," she reaffirmed and stared hard until they looked at each other. "Have you two even talked about this at all?"

They looked at each other and shook their heads negatively.

"Well, now you get to. Go, eat, talk, sleep and come back tomorrow with your decision. Obviously you're both going to need family planning counseling among other things if you choose to keep the child, probably even if you choose not to." Tsunade stood and waved them away. "Go!"

They didn't speak until after their return to Iruka's apartment where he finally sat down next to the already sipping Kakashi with a cup of tea and attempted to make him start the conversation. "So…" The copy-nin just stared at him with a blank expression. Iruka sighed.

"I never really thought about ever having a family," he admitted finally still watching to see if Kakashi's face would offer any clues to what he was thinking. "And I know we've never brought up the idea together since we're both guys. There's no real provision in Konoha's laws for a marriage between two men, but I'd be willing to be as much of a permanent partner in our relationship as I could be for as long I can be."

Iruka suddenly had lukewarm tea pouring over his head and a missing companion from the couch. He wiped his face clean with a sleeve of his shirt and searched around. It only took a few seconds to ascertain that Kakashi was no longer in the apartment and Iruka automatically knew the first place he should look.

He was easily found standing in front of the Heroes Monument and Iruka could only take up silent residence right behind him. Kakashi wasn't saying a word aloud so he just waited. Finally the Copy-nin turned to his lover and pulled down his mask with a smile.

"If it was a jutsu then somebody probably missed. You'd be a much better mother than I could ever hope to be."

"Do you… want to hope to be a mother," Iruka asked hesitantly.

Kakashi shrugged. "It seems I already am, and I have a father ready and willing to be a father." He stepped close to Iruka and leaned his head on the tanned man's shoulder. "All we need is a crib and we get to be a happy family, right?"

"Well, maybe a few diapers and some bottles," Iruka said lightly. "But there's still eight months before that, and from what I've heard and seen from the mothers at the academy it's not going to be a pretty eight months."

Kakashi grinned wide as he straightened and fingered a clumped lock of Iruka's tea sticky hair. "I don't think it's going to be pretty for you, but at least I'll have an excuse."

To Be Continued…

A/N: I realized that I hadn't yet read a Kakashi gets preggers story and decided I must try my hand at writing one. bows Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: Don't own.

This is a repost from my LJ account