Title: Not The Mommy
Warnings & Pairings & Characters: Yaoi & Kakairu, Mpreg
Summary: ummm.. mpreg?
Status: WIP, self-beta'd
~ Week 11 ~
"The answer is no."
"He'll be in danger if this information gets out. Shinobi from nearly every country will be trying their hand at killing Kakashi."
Tsunade steepled her fingers and scowled. "I don't care if 'try to kill Kakashi' becomes the favorite game of every single missing nin out there. You two are not leaving the village."
"You were the one who first suggested it! What's changed to have you think that he won't die if he stays here?!" Kakashi was silently watching as his Iruka began seriously yelling."
"He will definitely die if you leave, you idiot." Tsunade scoffed as Iruka's angry face turned pale. "If you think I'm going to let one pregnant and helpless copy-nin anywhere near the gates of this village then you're wrong. What do you think you're going to do when the time comes for the baby to be born? What if there are sudden complications along the way? Why in the world would you think I would allow a pregnant man to go running away from my very excellent care when I still don't know why or how he got pregnant?!"
She stood and slammed her hands on her desk. "Obviously I changed my mind. The two of you are staying and that's final. I don't care if I have to assign every single ANBU to you, but you will be protected. I don't care if everyone from the oldest retired jounin to the youngest pre-genin knows that Kakashi got knocked up; you're staying here."
Iruka swayed backwards a bit and turned to look at his calm lover. "I didn't think," he mourned. "She's right. You should stay here where the Hokage will be here to take care of you."
Kakashi nodded thoughtfully. "Put that way, I can accept it, but do we really have to tell everyone?" He poked at his non-existent belly. "I guess they'll know soon enough," he sighed. "No more missions for me. Do we have enough savings to live off of your teacher's salary, Iruka?"
Tsunade hid a chuckle in a sigh at the look on Iruka's face. "You don't need to worry about that, you brat. You're on paid medical leave."
"All of this research I'm doing is new and any procedures will be experimental so just consider yourself getting paid for being my guinea pig."
"But you didn't do any experiment to get me this way," Kakashi argued. "It was a great night that Iruka and I had and…"
"Experimental, Hokage-sama," Iruka inquired from between clenched teeth as he covered Kakashi's masked mouth with his hand.
"Well, I've never done a c-section on a man before so that's definitely experimental. And remember, for all we know this was caused by an unknown enemy jutsu and not just one great night between the two of you." Tsunade grabbed Kakashi's medical chart and found a blank page. "Talking about that section, I'll be able to get a better idea of your due date soon. The development within the next two weeks should tell me exactly when to schedule your surgery."
"Surgery! Hokage-sama. I've been reading those books you gave us and everything says that a natural birth is best if possible. Isn't there any other option?"
"Iruka," Tsunade calmly smiled at him. "I'm pleased you're reading those books, but there's not yet a single known jutsu that is going to give that man," she pointed to Kakashi, "a real working vagina. If you want him to have a natural birth then you better start wishing on the same star that got him pregnant in the first place. You're dismissed"
Silence reigned as Iruka tried to come up with more arguments, but Kakashi finally grabbed his arm and led them out. The two men left Tsunade's office with very different expressions. Kakashi was already wondering how he could break it to everybody while Iruka was running over every single trap he knew in his head, and how those traps could all be used around his apartment on top of how long it might take for Kakashi to recover from surgery enough to take care of a baby. Shizune was easily able to catch up to them as the lazily made their way home.
"Hokage-sama wanted me to give you this," she handed over a thick envelope. "And make sure you're back for another appointment in two weeks, Kakashi." She sighed heavily and ran back in without another word.
Iruka looked curiously at the envelope. "Shall we inspect it over lunch," he asked. "I think I might need some ramen."
"Nutrition is key," Kakashi announced. "Ramen has no nutrition."
"I didn't say you had to eat it."
"You're going to eat in front of me while I starve? What awful behavior, and me the mother of your child!" With a grin the copy-nin started off at a much faster trot than he was ever seen doing with Iruka only beginning to yell behind him.
The good hearted bickering continued as they chose a dumpling house instead of ramen for lunch. The thick envelope sat on the table between them until the end of the meal. Kakashi opened it with deft fingers and pulled out a folded packet of papers.
"Hmmm, it seems the Hokage doesn't want us living in your apartment."
"We've been ordered to a house in the clan district. I guess they think having an entire army of Hyuugas nearby might help with security." Kakashi offered a few of the pages to Iruka.
"A house," the teacher said in wonder. "It's a big one, too."
"The deed is in our…" Kakashi went quiet.
When Iruka saw the humongous bite his lover was slowly working on chewing he knew there was a reason for the sudden mouthful. He waited.
Kakashi knew he was waiting and was quickly preparing to stuff another dumpling into his mouth just to keep from talking, but Iruka's quick hands grabbed his wrist.
"There's a problem," Iruka stated. "What is it?"
Official paperwork was dropped onto the table where Iruka could easily see the handsome calligraphy listing previous owners. There were only three names, but the last was listed as Namikaze Minato. "It's part of my sensei's estate," Kakashi said quietly. "It was his house; I lived there with him for a few years."
Iruka could sense the tension quickly growing within Kakashi as the other took a sip from his trembling teacup. "Would your sensei be upset with you living there again," he started fishing.
The teacup was lowered to the table with an expressive 'clink' and Kakashi's exposed eye suddenly blazed. "They put it in my name, when this house should have been given to his family." Iruka's eyebrows rose as he watched Kakashi grab and stuff all the papers back into the envelope while giving him orders. "Find Naruto; bring him to Tsunade's office. I'll meet you there."
The Copy-nin stalked out of the small restaurant without another word said; Iruka had no choice but to do as he had been told after paying the check.
The lively young blond boy was easily found in his favored training field collapsed on the ground and looking only a little better than Kiba who was laying against Akamaru.
"But Iruka-sensei," he whined and winced as he was dragged away. "I was about to get back up and pound him again. It's unfair fighting against both him and Akamaru, and I just came up with this great new move, and…"
"Kakashi's upset," Iruka yelled. "Just stay quiet and don't bother him when we get there."
The oddness of the blunt statement wasn't lost on the curious teenager who chose to follow along. He knew his sensei's were living together, and he would always recognize his beloved Iruka-sensei in extreme mother-hen mode, but he'd never seen him going into it over Kakashi so severely before.
At the pace Iruka set they quickly arrived just outside the door of the Hokage's office where a full scale yelling argument could be clearly heard in the hallway. Two Anbu were keeping most of the people away, but they allowed Iruka and Naruto to sidle up to the door where Ibiki and Shizune were already waiting. They all exchanged glances and nods until a loud slamming was heard.
"I'm trying to be reasonable here, Kakashi but you're making it very hard. Now sit down and calm down before you hurt the baby!"
"Did Kakashi get another babysitting mission," Naruto wondered aloud just before he watched Iruka forcefully open the double doors with both hands and run into the room. The resulting sound from their rebound off the walls echoed loudly in the sudden stillness.
Tsunade and Kakashi had been facing off over her desk; both with hands planted firmly on the bare wood top. Where before they had been glaring at each other, they were now looking very startled in Iruka's direction.
The chuunin huffed for a short second as he made sure that his pregnant lover didn't seem too upset anymore then stepped aside and motioned behind himself calmly. "I brought Naruto like you asked. Why don't we all sit down and you can tell me what's going on." The pleasant smile was almost sincere as he moved close enough to touch Kakashi's shoulder, but there was steel in the word that emerged from it. "Please."
Naruto was watching as Iruka prepared breakfast. He'd been unusually quiet the last few days, and Iruka was beginning to get worried. Ramen hadn't been yelled for, vegetables had been quietly eaten and dishes done as requested. The normally brightly colored boy seemed a little duller, but he'd bounced back from hard things before. Iruka glanced behind him at the boy just sitting there; he would definitely bounce back, the only question was how soon.
"You're very quiet," Iruka decided to break the silence as he scooped eggs onto plates. "Do you have any plans for today?"
Naruto only sighed as his favorite teacher placed the small plate in front of him and added a few pieces of toast. "Everyone's out on missions."
Iruka stopped and pondered. "We do seem busier, don't we? I wonder why so many teams have had to leave the village."
"Kiba said the missions were tough ones, more than they'd normally get, but not too much." A small bite was taken. "The old hag wouldn't give me one; said I wasn't allowed to go out solo, and that I already had a mission anyways."
"She's sticking to that, huh?" Iruka smiled and leaned over to pat his shoulder. "Staying here and guarding Kakashi isn't very interesting, is it?" A troubled look was sent through the ceiling to the second floor where the copy-nin was supposedly still resting. "We can only hope it stays that way."
Naruto easily heard the concern in Iruka's voice and also looked up to where he knew Kakashi was probably puking up his guts again. Iruka got up too early to hear, but Naruto had hung around in his warm blankets the past few mornings and heard the tall man unskillfully make his way to the second floor bathroom. "He's pregnant," Naruto blurted. "It's already interesting."
If it weren't for the sullen expression, Iruka would have thought that Naruto was trying to make him smile, but he did anyway. "It has been quite the ride so far and with so much more to go."
The young blond blinked and pushed away from the table as he stood up. "I'm going to go train by myself for a bit, Iruka-sensei. I'll just be in the back yard." He didn't wait see Iruka's nod before leaving quickly.
The Chuunin frowned with worry as he watched him go. Back in Tsunade's office, Naruto had seemed to take in everything so easily, even some things that had shocked Iruka, but now he wasn't so sure…
Tsunade sighed loudly and sat down in her chair. She pulled out a bottle and poured herself a teacup full of sake. After taking a few sips while glaring at the three males now comfortable settled down, she looked at her big annoyance of the day. A good squint told her he really wasn't so very big just yet, but her trained eyes knew what to look for, and it was definitely starting to show. Not only was his open vest making him look suspect, but that peculiar glow she'd seen in so many women was also evident especially whenever he was looking at Iruka.
Her stares finally caught his attention and that one dark but expressive eye looked her way.
"I understand that the idea of 'family' is very important to you right now," she reasoned. "But there are laws that we all have to follow; laws that even I'm not allowed to break without consequence. So, I hope you understand exactly how lenient I'm being allowing you to break them." Tsunade glared harshly at Kakashi. "But only here in my office. You do not speak of it anywhere else."
The Copy-nin nodded in acceptance and waited.
"Naruto," she looked at the curious and fidgety young man. "Your sensei are being moved into a house together for Kakashi's protection. He's in a delicate condition and needs to be protected."
"O-kay," he said slowly in obvious confusion.
"This house used to belong to someone very important to this village, and some believe that it should be given to his child instead of to them, but the records have been written in such a way that I can't."
"You should really just spit it out, Tsuande-baba," Naruto said with a nervous smile.
"There is no legal proof that Namikaze Minato was your father, Naruto, so I am not allowed to legally cede his house to you. There is proof that Kakashi was his student, and by shinobi law that makes him next of kin if none is listed, so I can give it to him."
Kakashi snorted dismissively, then almost giggled at the sight of his lover's paling face, but he finally settled on quietly watching as the gears of Naruto's mind worked over the information he had just been told.
Tsunade finally got tired of watching those confused blue eyes blink and blurted out more. "You've never really asked about this, but… Naruto, you're listed as an unknown orphan of the Kyuubi war even though most everyone knows you're really the son of Minato and Kushina. I'm moving your sensei into a house that should have been given to you since it belonged to your father, but the law doesn't allow me. Kakashi wanted you to be given the choice to say no."
Naruto scowled thoughtfully. "Are you trying to tell me that Namikaze Minato was my father, and that I can't have his house?"
"Legally," Iruka interrupted. "You mentioned legally. Are you sure there isn't a single piece of paper that mentions the facts, Hokage-sama? A birth certificate is required for the academy, and background checks into family and friends for clearance levels."
Tsunade wove her fingers together and rested her forehead on them for a moment. "This is not an easy discussion," she announced and finished off her teacup of alcohol in several long gulps. "So listen close, all of you."
"Proof of parentage was listed in her, Kushina's medical records. All they had to do was fill out the name and sign the forms once he was born, but," she poured another cupful. "That wing of the hospital was destroyed along with the charts."
"You know that Minato never made it to the hospital," she said looking at Kakashi. "And Kushina never made it out."
"Minato and Kushina, those are the names of my parents," Naruto said aloud.
Tsunade sighed. "Allegedly; they are suspected to be your parents, but I can't legally confirm it even though I know it."
"Afterwards, there were laws put in place by Sandaime to protect you, but then later there were others that were snuck through for what seemed to be very good reasons at the time. Without written proof signed by both a parent and the mother's medical doctor, the village is unable to recognize you as Namikaze Minato's legal heir. The proof was in the medical records which were destroyed unsigned by either of your parents." Tsunade muttered lowly as she looked at her desk. "We don't know if that law was put in place to completely cut you off, or if the clan that pushed it through really wanted familial protection from people claiming to be part of their bloodline and wanting in. It could have been either, and it was a messy legal snit, but it's on the books now."
"So, the house that we, Kakashi and I know should be yours cannot, and I have processed the paperwork to gift it to Kakashi and Iruka. They will be needing it to raise their upcoming family."
Anger started showing on Naruto's face. "So I get to find out who my parents are because you're giving something that should be mine to them?"
"You're finding out because Kakashi insisted," Tsunade admitted. "He won't accept it without your approval."
Naruto was quiet as he calmed down. He turned to look at his former sensei, his favorite teacher, Iruka. "What about you, did you know this, also?"
Iruka shook his head. "I'm finding this out along with you, Naruto. I'm… This… this situation is very complicated."
He turned back to Tsunade and huffed. "The old man explained some of the laws to me when I made genin. After what Mizuki-sensei did, I knew something was up, and I'm really not that stupid. But, I don't understand about this house."
"It's a lot to take in at once," Tsunade agreed with the blonde boy. "And it gets even worse," she said with a chuckle and a devious glance at Kakashi. "I'm glad you're taking it so well. Now, on to the house business, are you alright with Konoha giving the house to Kakashi and Iruka?"
"I guess," Naruto shrugged. "I like my new apartment; it's real close to Ichiraku!"
He paused and scratched his head. "But didn't you just move into a new apartment also, Iruka-sensei? Why do you want to move again?"
Iruka laughed nervously and looked at Kakashi for approval. "Well, Naruto," he began. "It seems that Kakashi and I are going to be parents soon."
"Parents? Are you adopting some kid?" Naruto bounded over to Iruka. "You're not trying to adopt me, are you?! I told you before, I'm fine with how things are and you helped me get that new apartment and all, and…"
"No, no. Kakashi and I are going to have a baby." Iruka smiled wide. He was finally getting to tell someone about the baby. "I'm going to be a daddy in six more months!"
"A baby?" Naruto grinned along with his sensei. "Wait a minute… Did Kakashi-sensei get some girl pregnant?" He turned to the copy-nin with fire in his eyes. "You pervert! You cheated on Iruka-sensei!"
Kakashi was waving his hands around innocently as Iruka grabbed Naruto's arm. "No, Naruto, you've got it wrong," the chuunin blurted out. "Kakashi's the one who's pregnant, not some woman. He didn't do anything wrong, believe me."
Naruto stopped. "Kakashi's what?" He turned to Tsunade who was watching with amusement, glad that she wasn't the one having to explain. She nodded and Naruto asked again. "He's what?"
"I'm going to have a baby," Kakashi answered gleefully, enjoying the look on his student's face. He pointed to his abdomen to brag. "See? I've already got a baby bump!"
Iruka smiled to himself as he recalled the rest of the meeting while heading to the mission desk for his weekend shift. Naruto had finally been to believe that Kakashi was pregnant, especially when he was given a long term mission to protect his sensei. Now he stayed with them instead of his apartment. He'd whined at first until Iruka had taken him grocery shopping to fill the cabinets. He let Naruto pick out all the ramen.
They'd been able to move in a week after signing the papers. Tsunade had sent a genin squad to clean the empty rooms of every bit of dust and age. It ahd given the two men and their assigned blond guard a chance to fill the kitchen with groceries, and figure out how their few pieces of furniture would be best arranged within the many rooms.
Iruka had sometimes felt as if he was forcefully dragging his two precious people through the house as they inspected it after the cleaning. Kakashi refused to say a word, almost looking ready to cry while Naruto seemed to have mastered the stoic Uchiha mask finally. Door after door had been slid open, closets found and bathrooms counted. Iruka almost couldn't believe that he was now living in such a grand house.
It had been built in a more traditional style even though it had some modern upgrades. The first floor held the basic rooms, kitchen, dining, living, and a lovely library that looked out on the small backyard. The second floor held three small bedrooms that shared a small bathing room and a larger master bedroom with its own bathroom. There was even a third floor that consisted of one long room full of windows that led to a lovely rooftop porch. It was definitely a house worthy of a hokage, and Iruka fell into immediate love with it, especially when he found that the backyard was only small due to a large, traditional style bathing house taking up most of the space. It was a fault he could easily forgive
He'd happily hung his and Kakashi's towels together in their own private bath then run downstairs to place the new, thick and luxurious ones he'd bought into the bath house. Then he'd run off to do something else to make their place the best home that he could. Kakashi had been enjoying watching him run back and forth unpacking single items and immediately placing them where he'd decided they needed to be then going to grab another item form the box. Iruka seemed to be in house-making heaven. Kakashi, on the other hand had directed the good sized box full of his library to be placed beside him on the couch and was calmly rereading all of his favorite parts while sipping on Tsunade prescribed herbal tea.
And now they were unpacked and settling in as easily as they could. Iruka would still see some awkwardness in Kakashi's movements when he passed certain corners, and the disappointed look in his eye whenever he entered certain rooms was almost too much to bear. There were heavy and lingering memories here, but Iruka hoped that Kakashi would show that strength that had already brought him through so much and learn to love living here again even if it was with him and not his former sensei.
He finished washing the few breakfast dishes before covering Kakashi's plate with it's buttery biscuit with a towel then sitting down in the chair opposite it until he finally heard a noise upstairs. Tsuande had arranged his schedule so that he joined his class in the afternoons giving him plenty of time to help Kakashi in the mornings, but it truly only had Iruka feelings helpless. Kakashi never got up before him, never stepped foot out of the bed, maybe even the bedroom before Naruto had left for his morning training. Iruka was trying to be good about letting him have his space to adjust to the changes, but this space was beginning to worry him.
Iruka was just standing up to finally go and get Kakashi when he heard something above him that nobody with a pregnant spouse ever wanted to hear; the loud sound of something big hitting the floor. He ran.
A/N: so.. hehehe… it's been a while, huh? Yeah… Gosh, two and a half years near abouts. And wow, what changes I'm sure we've all been through. I'm so happy to have gotten reviews with pregnancy details and I'm sure I'll be able to use some of them in this story; I look forward to it even XD
I also want to apologize for taking so long, but assure everyone this story was never forgotten. I'm sorry that some of the readers felt they had to leave such sad reviews over my lack of updates. It's annoying but understandable.
I'll only say I've been going through issues and am now even busier than I was when I started this story, so I think it proves my mettle that I'm ready to continue it. There will be another update and another, plans are in the works, drafts are being drawn up and my Word program is working like a charm.
So, here we go, once more into the mysterious field of Mpreg wherein our beloved copy-nin is the one to carry the spawn XD Tally Ho and all that jazz! Kakashi's got a baby coming!