disclaimer: Who am I kidding? I'll never own anything of CBS. So don't hunt me down or sue me (i'm poor- literally)...I just try to write down these conversations that flood my head. I did this per request last night. I burned the midnight oil- so mistakes are mine.
"Catherine? Did I wake you up? Are you still awake? Is it too late to talk to you?"
Sara hears a sigh on the other end.
"...which one do you want me to answer first, Sara?"
Long pause. "I'm sorry, Catherine. I'll...I'll call you later. Go back to..."
"Sara," Catherine interrupts her, "don't wake me up to tell me to go back to sleep. My world doesn't work that way. If it did, I'd have fire works spinnning around my head constantly."
"Ummm, I don't get it..."
"Whatever. I'm awake. Why are you calling me?"
"Grissom asked me to marry him."
"You still there, Catherine?"
"Okay, now I'm so wide awake."
"Uh, can I come over for a little while and talk to you? I mean, since you're awake and all. I could bring in some doughnuts and..."
"I'll make coffee then."
"Oh. So is it okay? I mean I know you had a busy night last night and..."
"Did you hear me say 'I'll make coffee' there? That means get your butt over..."
Sara hears Catherine curse under her breath on the other line. She smiles imagining Catherine dragging herself out of bed, slipping her feet inside her pink fuzzy bunny slipppers and taking a quick look in the mirror before heading downstairs.
She continues to hear Catherine curse as she hears her heavy steps on the stairs like a little girl on a tantrum. "Hold on, Sara...freakingcrap...who uses the doorbell at this ungodly hour? Don't they know I work nights? I'll shoot the pesky salesman then I'll give him a piece of my mind and I freaking don't care if it's a girl scout selling cookies!"
"I'll wait..." Sara says simply.
Catherine continues her ranting on the phone. "...eight o'clock in the morning. Who in the hell rings the door bell at..."
Sara could hear the click from the lock and Catherine opening the front door. Then there was a long pause.
Sara still on her cell phone greets the surprised Catherine. "Hey."
Catherine had her phone tucked between her chin and her shoulder with one hand on the door knob. "That was fast. How long have you been standing out here? And I gather that's doughnuts in the bag, huh."
Sara smiles and holds up the doughnut bag to her as offering. "Here. I got the one's with purple sprinkles. Your favorite."
She steps aside letting the brunette in . "Sugar rush. You're making sure I'll be awake."
Sara steps to the side and waits for her to lock the door. She lets Catherine lead the way to the kitchen.
Catherine points to the bar stool by the island table. "Make yourself comfty."
"Thanks." Sara sits down and proceeds to watch Catherine put in a new filter with coffee grounds on her coffee maker. She cocks her head to the side and smiles watching the strawberry blond open the upper cabinet and reach for the mugs on top. "Need any help?"
Catherine grunts after reaching the first mug. "No, I got it!"
Sara grins watching Catherine tiptoe for the second mug. She offers again. "You sure you don't want help?"
"I said I got it!" Catherine tries to tiptoe higher. Her fingers just pushing the mug centimeters further away.
"You could've been a ballerina. You could start a new fad doing fouette en tournant with your bunny slippers. You'd look really cute twirling..."
Catherine whirls around and looks at her. "Shut up, and if you want to drink coffee reach for your own damn mug."
Sara stand up and grins, reaches up and takes the mug. "Easy as pie."
"Yeah, so you're taller, rub it in and it's doughnuts. No pies." Catherine pours herself a cup and looks at Sara, "now you got a mug, use it."
Sara shakes her head and chuckles, "I'd hate to be here when you wake up in the morning if you're like this." She pours herself a cup and sits infront of Catherine who took a bite out of a doughnut.
"Correction, Sidle. I haven't been to sleep yet. I was about to, but you made sure I wasn't going to. So grin and bare my attitude."
"I got a lot of practice in that area. I have been grinning and bareing it with you for years now."
Catherine sighs. "And they say Sara Sidle doesn't have a funny bone. Moving on. So...Gris asked you?"
Sara takes a sip. "Good coffee."
"Stop changing the subject. You always do that."
"I do not!"
Sara gently blows the steam form her mug. "I was admiring your coffee."
"Right. I tear the packet open and pour it in the filter. Then I press 'on' on the coffee machine. Suddenly I'm the coffee guru."
"Stop changing the subject, Sara." She takes another bite. "Mmmm. Good doughnut."
"I'm glad you like it."
"Stop changing the subject. Gris asked you to marry him. Did you say 'yes'?"
Sara pauses. "You said 'good doughnut."
"I was talking to my doughnut."
"And...did your doughnut say anything back?"
"Whatever, Sara." Catherine takes another bite. "So, did you say 'yes'?"
"We were in his bee farm in complete gear..."
"I guess it would be useless for me to teach you about the birds and the bees now since he's covered that pretty well. Secretly hidden busy bees for so many months now..."
"I'm just saying I thought I was Gris' best friend. He tells me everything. I mean he..."
"I told him not to tell you."
Catherine puts down her mug. "Excuse me?"
"I... I didn't want you to know because I thought it wouldn't last this long. It wasn't suppose to be."
"I don't understand."
"I don't think you will but that doesn't matter anymore. He asked me to marry him."
"And you said..."
Sara quietly replies. "I said 'yes'"
"In the bee farm."
Sara nods her head, staring at the coffee inside her mug, "in the bee farm."
Catherine continues to stare at her, "in complete bee clothes."
"With matching white bee suit, gloves and head gear."
"Was there a ring?"
"No, I got stung by a bee instead." She hold out her hand to Catherine.
She takes Sara's hand and gently touches the raised red mark. "Does it still hurt? He took out the stinger, right? You do know you were out numbered."
"Hmmm?" She watched Catherine examined her hand.
"The bees. They got jealous that Gris will be spending his time more with you than with them."
Sara chuckles. "We're talking about bees here, Catherine. He's more curious on why they're dropping faster than flies."
Catherine looks up and smiles at her. "My bad. I guess you knew he'd fall asleep in his office staring at the minature houses for hours when the case was still open."
"I'd ask him to go home and get some rest. 'In a minute' was his favorite reply."
"Which turns out to be hours playing with his play house. I think he kept a Ken and Barbie doll somewhere."
Sara shrugs her shoulders. "They were exact replicas. I think he still stares at them out of admiration and curiosity. He was really impressed with her skills."
They were quiet for a moment. Both thinking of Gilbert Grissom. His dedication to his work. To his team. To his hobby. His interests and curiosities. What makes Grissom tick.
Catherine absentmindedly continues to hold Sara's hand, gently stroking the area where the brunette was stung.
Sara breaks the silence. "I'll never really, totally have him, right?"
Catherine looks at her and tries to smile, "you know Grissom well then."
Sara was quiet for a moment. Then she raises her head and looks at Catheine. "I thought it wouldn't last this long." She slowly pulls her hand back. "It shouldnt be like this. For me. For him. I wish I would've done things differently." She stands up and pours herself another cup.
Cattherine watches Sara, she could feel the sadness in her words. "Meaning what?"
Sara sits down, "meaning I would've done things differently."
"Have more guts being honest and knowing probably I will be getting hurt."
Catherine creases her brow, "that wouldn't make sense."
Sara meets her eyes. "But I'd be honest with myself."
"Do you love Grissom, Sara?"
"I do. But..."
"But it's not enough? You knew him before you got involved with him. You know his long hours. You know..."
Sara stops her. "It's not that."
Catherine leans forward. "Then tell me. I don't want you to marry him if he's only..."
"I...I'm in love with someone else but I knew I couldn't have that person. Grissom came along and filled that empty void. But still..."
Catherine closes her eyes. "...you long for that certain someone. Hoping that the person you're with currently will eventually fill in the shoes."
Sara echoes the thoughts of Catherine and whispers. "But it'll never fit."
Catherine eyes showed sadness. "Dont' hurt Gil."
Sara takes a deep breath, "I don't want to. But how long can I live like this?"
"Sara, if you can't love Gil the way he deserves to be loved, then you got to tell him."
The brunette was quiet for a moment. "This morning I was driving in circles with no place to go." She pushes the doughnuts towards Catherine.
Catherine smiles as she takes her second doughnut. "This is good doughnut. I love the purple sprinkles." She looks up at Sara, "I'm sorry, you were saying? I got distracted by the purple sprinkles. They look pretty." She hold up the doughnut and looks at Sara through the hole. "You said you were driving in circles?"
Sara shakes her head in amusement, "you and your purple sprinkles. Really cute."
"Where did you buy these anyway? They're just like the one's across the strip at..."
Sara finishes her sentence, "Sue's Coffee Haus. I drove that far. And next thing I knew I was standing at your door calling you."
Catherine looks at her closely. "You went across town, driving aimlessly in circles, bought doughnuts and ended up here. And you said you had nowhere else to go..."
Sara shrugs her shoulders. "I know. I thought of you and I had to get you your favorite purple sprinkled doughnuts. Plus, you're the only person I wanted talk to anyway."
"Sara, where have you been all these years? We never really talked! If you call arguing and debating part of our conversations..."
"Yes, I do."
Catherine shakes her head, "you are weird, Sara Sidle."
Sara leans forward, "admit it, Catherine. You look forward to our butting heads. It takes the best out of us. We solve cases faster with our ranting and raving at each other. We push each other's buttons making us go the distance. Secretly you enjoy it when we work together!"
Catherine smirks, "okay, you're right. You and I, we do make a great team. We do get things done when it's us together. Alright, you win round one there." She brings the doughnut bag closer to her, "And I'm having this last one. You bought them for me anyway."
The brunette flashes her famous grin, totally amused. "I'll buy more next time."
The two women sat there in silence. Sipping coffee while Catherine worked her way through the third doughnut.
"Are you going to tell Grissom?"
Sara lifts her eyes towards her, "that I'm still in love with someone else?"
"...you're still in love? Who?" Catherine pauses, "you owe it to him to be honest. I wouldn't want to see him hurt in the long run." She takes a deep breath and slowly lets it out, "and I dont want to see you suffer."
Sara closes her eyes, "I'll tell him."
There was another moment of silence. Catherine licks her fingers, Sara smiles watching her.
"By the way, how do you know I like the purple sprinkled ones?"
"You were telling Warrick about it."
That surprised Catherine. "But that was like a month ago!"
"Month and a half. We were at the break room, you were making coffee." Sara closes her eyes and smiles remembering, "you were telling Rick that he should bring Tina there and order their fresh, out of the oven, home made, purple sprinked doughnuts."
Catherine was impressed, "and you remembered... all that."
Sara quietly replies, "we may not talk alot to each other, Catherine. But I remember things worth remembering. Especially the little things that people think they're not important."
"And fouette en tournant? Thats a ballet term, unless you have a second secret life going to recitals and stuffs." She lifts an eyebrow at Sara, "although it is hard to imagine you in pink with a tutu."
"You were telling Nicky how Lindsey is slowly mastering it. You were very proud at her achievement." She chuckles, "I do have to admit I had to look it up in the internet. Was a hard word to look up."
Catherine said nothing but continued to stare at Sara. She was seeing Sara in a new light. Why did it matter to the brunette?
"Oh, come on now, Catherine. dont' look at me like that."
"I don't need pity, especially from you, Catherine. I just..."
She reaches out for the brunette's hand. "Sara, I..."
Sara pulls back, "don't. I can't. Not now..." She stands up and heads for the door, "I...I got to go. I'll ..." She looks back at Catherine who was still seated watching her, "I'll see you around, Catherine. Thanks for your coffee." She pauses, "most especially your time. You'll never know how much this means to me- how this," she places her hand over her heart, "how much this means to me."
Catherine gets up, "Sara, wait. Please..."
She stops by the door, watches Catherine approach her.
"Sara," Catherine puts her hand on the brunette's arm, "don't leave...don't...not like this. Gil is..."
Sara looks at her quietly, "don't worry, I don't want to hurt him either."
She hangs on to the brunette, "Sara...please...stay. Let's talk. There's so many things I..."
"I have to go, Catherine. I have to...go." She opens the door and was gone.
Three months passed by. Grissom became busier with his bees, spending more time in the lab. Warrick still trying to mend his marriage with Tina. Nick still enjoying the single life. And Greg, still the same carefree Greg. And Catherine, trying her best to keep a smile on her face, trying her best to hide the saddness in her eyes, the emptyness she realized only one person could fill. She never knew that she could miss a person the way she was missing the brunette. Sara's sudden absence made her realize her feelings for her.
Sara's sudden resignation was now in the past. Missing her presence was still something Catherine, Warrick, Nick and Greg would talk about on occassion in the breakroom. It was Catherine who needed to talk about her, understand her and know her more through the eyes of her coworkers. But they were careful at first not to mention her name when Grissom was around.
Weeks pass by and Grissom finally said to Warrick, out of the blue, that he was okay and has moved on. Of course, no one really believed this. But then Grissom is Grissom. And he poured himself into his work once again. And so life goes on with the night shift crew.
No one knew of Grissom's proposal to Sara. If Grissom did not want to talk about it, Catherine certainly would not want him to know that she knew. She did not mention of her coffee and doughnuts time she shared with Sara. To Catherine, it was their time shared together- just her's and Sara's alone. It was a moment that Catherine would replay over and over in her mind.
The only time he talked about the brunette with her was when Sara mentioned she needed 'time to think of things over' which meant breaking up. Next thing they heard was that Sara resigned, leaving without saying goodbye, only to Grissom. Catherine took this personally. She thought she and Sara finally connected. It made her wonder why the brunette didn't mention she was resigning, more yet, even called to say 'goodbye'. She tried calling Sara but the brunette changed her number.
So days went into weeks, and weeks into months.
She sat up staight in bed. There was excitement in her voice, "Sara? Where are you?" She pauses, "why did you leave like that? Without saying goodbye?"
"Catherine, I'm sor..."
"Do you know how that made me feel?"
Her voice was raised in anger, "...leaving just like that? I thought I was your friend!"
"Are you awake? Can we talk?"
Catherine pauses, livid at the question. "The hell I am awake right now, Sidle! Talk? You finally want to talk? After three months of silence, of dissapearing, you want to talk?"
"If that's you at the door, you might as well stay out there!"
"I...I'm in San Fancisco, Catherine."
There was silence on the other end.
"Catherine? You still there?"
Sara heard her sigh on the other end. "Crap. I... I was hoping it would be you so I could slug you, hit you, or even strangle you a bit."
"Well, I did pay someone to deliver you purple sprinkled doughnuts, maybe you could slug, hit and strangle the deliverer..."
"...shut up, Sara. You're evil and unfair. Crap! I will cut off that person's finger if he doesn't stop with the damn doorbell...!"
Sara chuckles as she hears Catherine curse again under her breath, going downstairs with heavy steps. She heard her yell 'I'm coming! Stop pressing the damn door bell!' at the top of her lungs. She hears her swing the door open with full force. Then there was a pause.
Sara was standing infront of her, grinning. Still holding her cellphone to her ear, holding out a bag. "I got you a dozen fresh from the oven, purple sprinked doughnuts. Compliments of Sue's. I thought about having them delivered but that would be tipping him more that what the doughnuts costs."
Catherine stares at her. "Ha. Ha. Won't do." And proceeds to close the door.
"Wait!" Sara steps forward. "I couldn't say 'goodbye' to you because...because..."
"You got three seconds."
"...because I knew I'd come back to you."
Catherine doesn't blink. She opens her mouth but didn't know what to say.
"I said goodbye to Gil but not to you." She takes another step forward. Catherine open the door a little, still uncertain of what's happening. Sara gently pushes the door open and steps in. She stands face to face with Catherine, and quietly says, "I could never say goodbye to you."
Catherine's heart was beating fast. She could feel her knees shaking. She finally finds her voice but whispers, "...and...Gil?"
Sara takes another step forward making them inches away, "I told him I was still inlove with someone else." She smiles at Catherine, "he knew who it was with."
Sara smiles, leaning closer, "take a wild guess, Miss Willows." Their faces were inches apart.
Catherine lifts and eyebrow. She slowly reaches for Sara's hand. And with a smirk snatches the doughnut bag from her, "I'll tell you after I eat my purple sprinkles."
Sara grins as she watches Catherine head off to the kitchen.
She calls out to the brunette, "I'm making coffee, you know where the mugs are!"
Sara comes to the kitchen and opens the cabinet reaching up for the mugs.
"By the way, Sara, I'm still angry at you." Catherine takes a bite of her purple sprinkled doughnut and quietly says, "but I'm glad you came back." She smiles shyly at her, "here."
At that moment, Sara knew everything would be okay.
She takes a doughnut out of the bag and smiles, "I'm really loving your purple sprinkle's, too."
i couldn't find an ending...hope that'll do for now.