Hurrah, a new fic. My exams are over and I'm as free as Aizen is at the moment. Thus I present to you readers another story for you to read. It's set after Chapter 199 of Bleach manga, when Rukia sort of "moved in". It's not related in any way to Ichigo Has A Goddamn Hostel Room!, and there's no obvious ichiruki (yet). Hope you enjoy this one as well.
The Wilderness Is Dangerous
Chapter 1: The Kurosaki Club Sandwich
Wednesday, 11 July
The holidays in the Kurosaki household were always peaceful.
Karin and Yuzu observed their big brother dodge their father's attacks serenely from the dinner table, while Rukia seated herself.
"WUMPH! DODGE DADDY'S DYNAMITE KICK!!"
Karin picked up her rice bowl, clearly indifferent to the disturbing display of domestic violence happening in her house.
"STOP HITTING ME, YOU BASTARD!"
"More rice, Yuzu."
Yuzu spooned the rice from the rice cooker cheerfully, and turned to Rukia.
"AH, MY SON, YOUR SKILLS HAVE DEFINITELY IMPROVED!! BUT YOU WON'T DODGE THIS PRO KARAT-ARRGHHHHH"
"Rukia-san, here's your rice. Today I made miso soup, steamed egg and fried prawns! They ran out of beef at the market, so that's all I could come up with."
Rukia grinned. Karin and Yuzu were really nice girls, and Ichigo's dad was quite a funny guy anyway. She used a pair of chopsticks to seize a prawn, and bit down on it with gusto.
"GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME!!"
"Your cooking's great, Yuzu, as usual!"
Yuzu smiled happily, and proceeded to load Rukia's bowl with prawns.
"GIVE YOUR DEFEATED DADDY A BEAR HUG!"
Karin studied Rukia in between mouthfuls.
"So, Rukia-san, did Ichi-nii get into trouble today?"
"DON'T DO THAT, THAT'S DISGUSTING!"
Rukia shook her head.
"He's actually a rather attentive student, if you ask me. Hands his work up on time and
stuff like that."
"GIVE YOUR FATHER A KISS!!"
Yuzu smiled proudly, while Karin attempted (and failed) to conceal her own pride with a grimace.
"Ichi-nii's a really cool guy, right Rukia-san?"
"OH MY GOD, STOP SLOBBERING ON ME!!"
Rukia smiled softly, a small one.
"You can say that."
A rather injured looking Isshin seated himself gingerly at the head of the table, holding an ice pack to a bruise that appeared to be blossoming out from behind his eye.
Ichigo, on the other hand, appeared to be completely unharmed. Apart from his deepened scowl, he seemed to be all right.
Karin put down her chopsticks and yawned widely, while Yuzu shut the rice cooker and turned it off.
Rukia caught Ichigo's eye and grinned. He gave a vague shrug, and returned to picking at the remaining grains of rice in his bowl aimlessly.
The silence was broken by none other than Isshin himself.
"TEAM! I have a wonderful idea!"
Karin muttered under her breath, "I don't even want to know what it is."
Isshin raised a hand, but winced, due to yet another injury. Needless to say, he was not deterred the slightest by Ichigo and Karin's glares.
"We shall go for a family bonding trip!"
Ichigo and Karin's reactions were identical. Both of their eyes widened, and both of them looked very, very terrified at this 'idea' of their father's.
Rukia blinked, amused.
Only Yuzu asked the most sensible question.
"Where to, Daddy?"
Isshin threw out his arms, wincing again, and proclaimed loudly, "At our summer house alongside Lake Kataguchi! We haven't been there ever, thus tomorrow we shall go there to have family bonding activities!"
Karin narrowed her eyes, so much that Rukia thought she resembled a miniature female black-haired Ichigo. The real Ichigo, on the other hand, looked very much shocked.
Isshin clapped his hands to his face and attempted to pout (he failed).
"It'll be fun! The Kurosaki summer house will never let you down, my darling children, with the trees and the birds, I promise you with my greatest honour tha-"
Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. Once his dad came up with mad ideas like this, he'd never let it go.
Oh bother. There was no other option.
He turned to his sisters, and saw the same sentiments mirrored right back at him.
He turned to Rukia, but realized that she wasn't part of his family, that she wasn't his sister. She grinned at him, and he felt a strange whooping feeling at the pit of his stomach, but he ignored it.
Time of the month, huh, Kurosaki?
Ishida was seriously a freaky guy.
Putting that aside, he turned back to his wide-eyed father.
"All right Dad, we'll go."
His father's demented whoops of joy and triumph would haunt his nightmares forever, he was sure of it.
Ichigo realized that Isshin's idea of a "family trip to Lake Kataguchi" included Rukia after all.
Well, not as though he had any sort of complaint to make.
"Ichigo, the lake is safe to swim in, right?"
"I would suppose so. But someone as small you would probably be eaten by a GUPPY."
Ichigo stuck out his tongue and waggled it at an indignant Rukia.
"Well, uh, erm, you, BEAVERS WILL CARRY YOU OFF TO MAKE DAMS WITH YOU."
"…you know what a beaver is?"
"Yes, orange twig, I do."
"…I am not an orange twig, Rukia. You, on the other hand, are a bloodsucking tic."
"I AM NOT A TIC, ICHIGO!!!"
So on and so forth. Apart from all these little squabbles, which he found rather funny on a whole, they were really the best of friends.
Rukia thought so too. He didn't look scary, unlike his classmate's comment about his perpetual scowl. She, on the other hand, thought he looked quite retarded like that.
She had no complaints regarding Ichigo either.
After all, he knew how to pack a week's worth of clothes into a suitcase without splitting the seams. That, was a very rare quality in a shinigami, Rukia mused.
Renji probably didn't even know what a suitcase was in the first place.
Thursday, 12 July
Ichigo raised an obscenely large Chappy doll above his head, his jaw set and forehead creased in determination.
"Ichigo, give it back! I need Chappy to sleep peacefully at night!"
"…no, Rukia, you do not."
"Freaking give it back!"
"Freaking no way!"
"If you don't give it back, I will inflict damage to your nether regions!"
"Wait, what? No! Get away!"
"Give. Chappy. Here."
"Keep your knee away from me!"
"Not until you release Chappy."
Ichigo was in the middle of contemplating whether to protect his pride and joy, or to risk it for the sake of protecting Rukia from the evils of Chappy, when an orange lion-like plushie tornado burst out of the cupboard.
"Nee-san! You can bring me instead, you can hold me to your tiny little boso-"
Rukia delivered a flying punch smoothly to Kon's cotton face, and Ichigo almost felt sorry for it as the mod-soul flopped pathetically back into the closet, making crying noises.
"Rukia, it won't fit into your suitcase."
"Yes, it will!"
"No, it won't. I packed your depraved suitcase for you, therefore I know for sure what would fit in and what wouldn't!"
"You're just biased, Ichigo."
Rukia then proceeded to try to fit the huge Chappy doll into the depths of her fully packed suitcase.
After a few fevered and failed attempts, Rukia conceded defeat, but not before she hurled the Chappy doll at Ichigo's face. A full blown pillow fight would have erupted if not for Isshin barging in on the pretense of making sure that they were done with packing.
"Rukiaaaaa-san! Could you go downstairs to help Yuzu make the Kurosaki Club Sandwiches?"
Rukia nodded and left the room behind Isshin with a well aimed kick at Ichigo's shin.
Ichigo was not amused. But he got over it.
He'd been almost eaten by giant Fish-faces and Grand Fishers, he'd been attacked by a whole load of crazed Shinigami, and not to mention freaking Senbonzakura-ed by the high and mighty bastard of all bastards.
A kick to the shin was nothing, really.
He got up, zipped Rukia's suitcase and set it on the ground.
Helping Rukia pack her suitcase was fine, but the only problem was coming into contact with the diabolical category of clothing called the brassiere. At least Rukia had managed to sense his obvious discomfort and shift the offending garments elsewhere.
His eyes would never be the same again.
Enough said. His face had burned so much then, and he didn't feel like thinking back to that horribly embarrassing situation.
Ichigo set the suitcase aside and, after finding his errant 'Nice Vibe' shirt, finished packing his own luggage. He cleared up his bed, tucking the bed sheets into the sides neatly, and made his way over to his wardrobe.
Ichigo slid the door open, and was immediately accosted by a deranged cotton orange lion.
"ICHIGOO! WHAT DID YOU TO DO NEE-SAN TO MAKE HER HATE ME LIKE THIS?!!?"
Ichigo started to slide the door shut again, grimacing, but Kon managed to slip out and landed on the floor with a soft thump.
"You're going away, huh, Ichigo? What about me, huh? The greatest Kon-sama, abandoned in this crummy house?"
"I wouldn't let you stay here in the first place. You'd probably leave your orange plushie fur all over the place."
Kon put his plushie hands on his plushie hips and scowled the worst scowl a plushie lion could ever deliver.
"So, you're going to toss Kon-sama outside? Good, do that. Then I can search for all the bosoms in the world to lean agains-"
Ichigo stretched out a hand, and grabbed the plushie. He grinned sardonically, and reached for his cell phone, dialing a number that Kon couldn't see.
Kon feared for his life.
"Hello, Urahara? Could you send Jinta here for a while, I have something that I need him to help me take care for a week or so…"
Kon's black lion plushie eyes widened in horror, and his scream resonated off the walls of Ichigo's room.
Ichigo just managed to stuff Kon into a shoe box and hurl it under his bed, when the whole family (except Rukia) barged into his room to find out why Ichi-nii/my darling son had screamed so loudly.
Rukia watched in confusion as Ichigo handed a shoebox, which was tied with many, many rubber bands, to Urahara's red haired assistant.
The shoebox appeared to be…struggling.
Jinta took the shoebox, and was about to say something when he caught sight of Yuzu dragging a bag down into the living room, who waved happily to him.
He turned as red as his hair, waved back in a fluster and dashed off.
As Rukia followed Ichigo up to his room to get the suitcases down, she poked him in the shoulder questioningly.
"I'm sure Jinta would be pleased to have Kon."
At 10 in the morning, Ichigo, Rukia, Karin and Yuzu had gathered on the front lawn, waiting for Isshin's grand arrival. He had actually rented a car for the road trip to Lake Kataguchi, which showed how hyped up he was about the whole thing.
Ichigo didn't have the heart to beat Isshin down.
The four of them were quite a sight, each of them carrying their own luggage, all lined up next to the gate.
Ichigo had seated himself down on top of his bag, and Rukia looked very much like him, perched on her own luggage was well.
Karin and Yuzu shared one bag, which Karin was holding by the handle while Yuzu carried the cooler filled with "Kurosaki Club Sandwiches".
They were all thankful that Yuzu had managed to persuade Isshin that she'd be better off making the sandwiches than him.
Ichigo didn't really feel like spending his time at Lake Kataguchi in the outhouse.
When Isshin had, at last, pulled up 'fashionably late' (quote him) in the rental car, they loaded up and clambered in with much haste.
Karin was given the front seat of honour as Ichigo didn't feel like reading any maps that day.
So, Isshin started up the engine again, and they were off, with Yuzu enthusiastically distributing a Kurosaki Club Sandwich to everyone.
Ichigo blinked furiously and dug out a work of Shakespeare to immerse himself in when Rukia fell asleep on his shoulder.
Hello, Lake Kataguchi.
to be continuedz.
I'm expecting to have about 6+ chapters. the number is ever changing, so don't count on it too much. R&R please (:
oh yes, and I couldn't resist being evil to Kon. what a perv.