It's amazing how many people can look at a person, talk to them every day...and never know them at all. That's how it is with my boy. He has these eyes that you just want to fall into and fall forever; lips that are soft and sweet with such a childlike pout to them, you go weak at the knees.
Night after night, he comes here, always polite, ever the gentleman. It's almost unheard of in my line of work. Most guys are all about the lapdance, their hands on your body, their tongues hanging out of their heads like some stupid big mutt, dripping saliva. It's all you can do at times to keep your mind on the job and forget the fact you want to vomit.
But never with my boy...
He tells me his name is Alec, no last names. It's not like I'd need to know anyway. Each night he comes here and asks just for me. We sit and talk, me on his lap, his hands respectful as they rest on my legs. Not that Alec's not a player. He has the most orgasmic smirk a girl can have flashed at her. Pure silk. He loves lapdances, love to watch me tease him and have the other guys he's with turn emerald with jealousy. It's obvious that he's not looking for any one girl. You would wonder if it was a case of just not having found the right one yet, but there's a sadness behind those green eyes you've grown to love so much. A haunted look that speaks of loss and you don't push, cause if you do, the walls slam up faster than a steel trap and he's gone again.
But it's been four months now. You can almost set your watch by him and find yourself looking forward to that time of night. When you'll go off to your own little corner of the club with a bottle of bourbon and a private lapdance you've saved for nobody but Alec. Tonight, something's wrong, something's caused a storm to build behind those eyes. Alec's distracted, even as you run a finger softly along his jawline and caress his lips with yours.
" Where are you tonight?"
He looks at you then, his eyes clearing and he comes back to the present. " No where, babe...I'm all yours."
" Liar." You smile and kiss the tip of his nose, your hand travelling down his chest to absorb the heat he's giving off. " It's her again. This Max?"
" Don't..." One word is all it takes to still your heart and make it bleed for him. Each night for the past few weeks, it's been like this. He's come to trust you, to confide in you. You've seen sides of this sweet boy that no other girl has seen. His pain, his fears, his desperate search for his place in the world. He's torn between the girl he once had and the girl he knows he'll never have. It must be the loneliest place in the world and you would give anything to make him feel loved.
But it's not your place to do that. You're a dancer, nothing more than entertainment. You have no right to claim this boy for your own...and yet you do. You would shelter him against the world given the chance.
He stays with you for a few more hours, his hands warm yet respectful as they play across your body, his lips so inviting, tasting of bourbon and longing. You've seen the barcode on his neck, you've seen the news.
All it would take is one call and you would be out of this place, living it on easy street with the reward money.
But that will never be an option. Ever. Too many people have this boy tagged, labeled for what he's not. What they think they see.
Cocky. Arrogant. Self centered. Opportunistic. Monster.
But you know better. You've seen behind the mask, you've seen the real Alec.
And your heart bleeds for your boy. Your perfect, sad boy, lost in a world that will never be his.