AN: Response to a shortfic challenge request to see part of the Pokemon/Transformers crossover universe that lives in my head. I own nothing. Note //Text// indicates translated Pokemon language. Reviews appriciated, but as I realize how bizarre this is (it's designed to be that way), please, no flames. Enjoy. (Editted to fix markup issues.)

"CHU!" Rev. Hiss.

"CHU!" Rev. Hiss.

Ash held Misty's hand as they quickly rounded the corner of his mother's house, figuring whatever the strange noise was, it couldn't be anything too bad. After helping save the world from the Decepticons and living through the Viridian City battle (he still had nightmares about Optimus beating the hell out of Megatron over Jazz's broken body as he fled with the miniturizied AllSpark), Ash had decided as long as there weren't any explosions going on or jet engines roaring through the air, there probably wasn't anything going on that he and Misty and Pikachu and Bee couldn't handle.

Even after saving the world (several times) and winning a number of Leagues, Ash Ketchum was, for better or worse, still kind of an idiot.
Misty's hand slackened slightly in his as they beheld the sight before them. Bumblebee was in his yellow muscle car mode, hood flipped up. Pikachu was straddling the chassis just above one of the headlights, his jagged tail angled down into the Autobot's innards, brushing a glowing blue something Ash had never seen before.

"CHU!" Pikachu let off a small burst of electricity.

Rev. Bumblebee's entire body vibrated so hard the electric rat had to tighten her grip.

Hiss. Air blasted out of all of Bumblebee's cooling vents at once, so hot and so fast Ash could feel it even though they were standing a good twenty feet away.

Just as they began to repeat the cycle and Ash was starting to feel a vague, undefined feeling of wrongness, Misty squeezed his hand so hard it hurt (which wasn't too unusual) and squeaked (which was). He turned to look into her wide cerulean eyes and was taken back by the deep, Charmander-red blush on her cheeks.
"A-Ash," Misty choked out, looking like she was ready to bolt back to his mom's kitchen, "maybe we should give them some privacy. Or something." She shook.

At the sound of her voice, the Pokemon and the Cybertronian stopped whatever they were doing. Bumblebee made a sound that sounded far too much like his "I'm about to trash some Decepticons" growl. Pikachu gazed at them with a very annoyed look on her face that kind of reminded Ash of how his mom and Professor Oak had looked that time he came home a day early from Pewter and found them on the couch doing ... things. Ash swooned. "Oh, God."

Ash was kind of an idiot, but he always figured things out eventually.

He turned to look at Misty, whose skin had gone alabaster white, and as they locked eyes, he knew they were sharing the same thought.

"Run away!" he squealed. And so they did.


Pikachu watched her two favorite humans flee in terror, and couldn't help the grin that split her face as the alien beneath her let out a rusty chuckle.

//Looks like they bought it,// she said with a giggle, confident that Bee would understand her perfectly thanks to what he called a universal translator. She didn't really understand how it worked--she didn't really understand how almost any part of him worked--but she knew it let him understand her and other pokemon even better than Pika-pi and Pikachupi.

"It would seem so," Bumblebee said. "Thank you again for assisting me."

Pikauchu smirked at the Autobot. //Don't get the wrong impression. I love Pikachupi and Pika-pi both, and no one was happier than me when they finally got together. Well, except for Pika-pi's mother. Maybe. Even if it did take a giant robot battle to get them to come clean to each other. So stubborn.// She narrowed her brown eyes. //But that doesn't mean they shouldn't know better than to make out inside you. I still don't know why you didn't eject them both.//

Bumblebee rocked on his wheels in what Pikachu figured to be a shrug. "We were cruising down a mountain. I wasn't about to throw them over the edge."

Pikachu nodded. //Even Pika-pi's head isn't hard enough to survive that.//

"And besides," Bumblebee said, almost guiltily, "this was much more fun."

The electric mouse giggled again. //So the truth comes out. And what if those two don't get the message? We pick on Pika-pi enough, but Pikachupi can be pretty dense too, sometimes. For all we know, they'll decide we're horny and leave it at that.//

Bumblebee was silent for a moment, and when he spoke again, his tone was mischievious. "Ironhide and Optimus always repeated lessons I failed to grasp when I was a youngling. If you're interested, of course. I noticed how much you seemed to enjoy the vibrations of my engine revving."

Pikachu almost lost her footing, the skin around her cheek pouches flushing. Quickly regaining her breath, she smirked, sending a slightly stronger charge than the ones she had used before into his engine. //Pervert.// She moved to jump off the Autobot, but paused at the last minute, winking at the empty driver's seat. //Next time, you're taking me to the lake. Setting is important for this kind of thing.//

Another rusty chuckle, louder this time. "As you wish," Bumblebee said warmly.