Disclaimer: I wish I were J.K. Rowling. I also wish I were Neil Cicierega because then, not only would I own Lemon Demon, but I would also own Potter Puppet Pals and the stupid little animation this song was based off of. (I seriously just figured out like a week ago that the Neil from Lemon Demon is the same Neil that made PPP... am I slow or did I just teach you a new fact?)

Dedication: Everyone who's been with me in this from the beginning.

Okay... just as a warning... this is going to make absolutely no sense and it'll probably be OOC, but can you really blame me? This whole song is total nonsense. I'm glaring at you, Tonksy. Oh yes, I'm glaring.

I replaced the members of the band with Marauders. Fun, fun? I kept their original names though for the sake of rhyming. Heh.

Neil: James

Aaron: Remus

Shmorky: Sirius

Zander: Peter

(I left out Toxic because all he says is gibberish... literally.)

Okay... here goes...

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

Hey you, sit down and listen
Don't be flippant and don't be dismissin'

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

"Attention everybody! Attention!"

A groan forced its way out of seventeen-year-old Lily Evan's mouth. What in the name of Merlin did Potter want now?

"Alright! We Marauders have a little lesson for you today..."

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

Think you're a Flash encyclopedia?
Eating breathing macromedia?

Think you're cool saying "All your base"?
Get that Xiao Xiao out of my face
You've got to be kidding me with that crap
Animutation's where it's at

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

"For all you Muggleborn and Halfblood witches and wizards who think you know it all and all you ignorant Purebloods who will have no idea what I'm talking about," Sirius Black, James Potter's counterpart, continued, "You shall be amazed."

"Yes!" Potter joined in, linking arms with his counterpart as they stood on the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall, "Forget crappy Japanese video games with even crappier translators! Forget animated stick figures that get entertainment out of practically killing each other!"

The two were totally oblivious to the confused looks of pretty much everyone in the Great Hall, or at least it seemed that way.

Both boys joined together at this time and chorused, "We present to you... the animutation of the century... HYAKUGOJYUUICHI!"

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

Nine out of ten sociopaths agree
You've got to see Hyakugojyuuichi
From the Moch to the Rie to the Pee to the Wee
Just take it from me, MC NC
You won't believe your eyes
You'll go insane
I mean, what's up with that plastic plane?
You're an idiot if you disagree
You've got to see Hyakugojyuuichi!

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

With a flourish of their wands, a giant muggle-like projector descended from the ceiling of the Great Hall and all went dark.

Ignoring the incessant murmuring of the confused students and the indignant yelp coming from Professor McGonagall, another flick of the wand revealed a video.

Not just any video, mind you.

Lily could swear she was scarred for life.

I guess this is what an "animutation" is.

It was a jumble of nonsense that Lily could swear had a deeper meaning that any others could comprehend.

There just had to be a reason for that plastic plane!

And what about the head of a boy that looked incredibly suspiciously like James?

Potter. I mean Potter.

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

If you've got the time, go grab a pen
And watch that thing again and again
Try and figure it out, what does it mean?
What's the significance of Mr. Bean?
Does anybody know? Are there any takers?
What's up with all the broken pacemakers?
This world is full of speculation
But nobody cracks this animutation

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

Lily Evans was more frustrated than she had ever been in her entire life.

Her hair was a mess, and it hung limply down her back.

Her eyes were dull and red-rimmed.

Her skin was pale and stretched over her face.

She hadn't been eating or sleeping.

Her friends were starting to worry.

What was the cause of all this pain and frustration, you ask?


She simply couldn't get it out of her mind.

There just had to be an explanation for the madness.

Alice Prewitt decided that she had had enough.

"Lily Evans."

"Quiet, Alice, I'm thinking!"

Lily Evans was currently sprawled out across the floor of her bedroom in the Head's Common Room. In front of her, a pad of muggle paper and pensieve. In her hand, a very, very worn out quill.

"You know, Lily," Alice suggested hesitantly, "If you really want to find out this... er... 'deeper meaning'... you could try... spying on the Marauders. They did after all, make this, erm, 'animutation'."

Lily's head snapped up so quickly and the look on her face was so intense, Alice had to take several steps back.

"Um, I'm sorry. It was... just a suggestion, after all..."

"Alice! You're a genius!" Lily exclaimed, interrupting Alice's hesitant apology.


"I'll see you around. Got to go. Thanks!" Lily practically yelled, running out of the room and kissing Alice roughly on the cheek in her haste.

"I worry about her sometimes..." Alice muttered to herself.


Wakeman is biased like a household appliance
Hello Kitty and McGruff have an unholy alliance
Science is brutal and it cuts like a knife
Not even Obi-Wan could save the yodel of life


Lily carefully snuck into the Boy's Dormitory, careful not to make any noises or be seen.

Remus was there, alone.

There was soft muggle music coming from a small radio in the corner of the room. How they managed to get it to work on Hogwarts grounds, Lily would never know.


The sudden spell shot at the radio, which was currently playing a song by a muggle artist called Rick Wakeman, caused her to jump and nearly give herself away.

"Stupid biased muggle..." Remus began muttering to himself.

Lily didn't pick up on much else of his muttering other than that she should beware Hello Kitty and Scruff McGruff. Apparently they were after the "yodel of life" and not even Obi-Wan could save it.

Lily was scared. This unholy alliance between Hello Kitty and McGruff seemed to her like a bigger threat than Voldemort himself.


Your name is Bob
You're my heartthrob


Lily watched curiously as he picked up a cookie and cradled it tenderly.

"Oh, Bob, I promise we'll get through this."

Remus held up the cookie to his ear like it was speaking to him.

"I know you love her, but she stands no chance! Not even Obi-Wan can save her now!"

Apparently Bob the cookie was in love with the "yodel of life" who was apparently female.

"Maybe you should consider my feelings for once, Bob."

Again, he held the cookie up to his ear.

"You know what I'm talking about, honey! I love you!"

After a while of arguing his feelings with the cookie, Remus gave up and threw it aside.


I lost my job when I got fired
By a guy named Farchie

He was full of starch
He smelled like an orangutan's old apartment


Remus continued talking to the cookie as it lay on its spot on the windowsill where Remus threw it.

"You know, I lost my job a few days ago. Yup, you should feel sorry for me.

"Who fired me, you ask? His name was Farchie. Farchie! He must have weighed a thousand pounds or so. He was probably full of starch.

"To make it worse, he smelled bad. Not bad, terrible. He smelled like of like an orangutan. No, not even that. An orangutan's apartment. An orangutan's old apartment."

Lily couldn't see the bad thing about being fired from this particular job. She wondered vaguely what it was.


Found a hobo in my room
What do I do?
He looks dead; he's full of lead
Bleeding red onto my bedspread
And he also seems to be missing his head


After Remus ceased talking to his cookie friend and shut himself in the bathroom, Lily deemed it safe to wander into the room and explore.

It didn't take her long to discover a very large red stain on one of the beds.

What's this?

She immediately jumped back.

There was an unidentified dead man lying on the bed Lily had identified as Remus'.

This can't be good...

"Lily?" the startled voice of Remus Lupin came, scaring Lily half out of her wits. "What are you doing in here?"

"Remus," Lily said, slowly, ignoring Remus' inquiry, "What's this?"

Remus made his way over to his bed, where she was standing and pulled back the hangings.

He gasped at the sight of the body on his bed.

"Lily, I think you need to leave."


Why am I holding this gun and axe?
Do exploding pacemakers cause heart attacks?
Will Mr. Bean ever get his fill?
Or will he just keep on telling me to kill?


"Remus?" she asked, slightly frantic, "What's going on?"

"I-I'm not sure..." he replied, subtly kicking an axe under his bed."

"Remus!" she cried out, "What's that?!"

"Listen Lily," he tried to explain, calmly, "Sometimes Mr. Bean gets a little out of control..."

"Who's Mr. Bean?" she continued frantically.

"No one you need to worry about..." he muttered, pushing her out of the door.

Lily quickly scribbled down notes including things like Mr. Bean, Bob, and this "yodel of life" on her way out.


Hey, don't you give me that look
You never had what it took
I took the beef and I beefed it up
You sat and whined while I took the cup of gold


"Oi, you!"

Lily knew that voice anywhere.


After a moment of careful thought, she decided that she could use this moment to her advantage.

She sidled the wall and peeked around the corner to watch the scene unfold before her.

Potter was standing not three feet away from a terrified-looking first year.

"Don't look at me that way!"

"W-What way?" the shaken first year stuttered.

"Like you think you could be in my place?"

The poor first year looked utterly confused.

"You don't have what it takes to be the James Potter."

She had always known he was arrogant but this was a bit too far.

Still, for the sake of research, she stayed hidden, wand in hand just in case things got a bit too out of hand.


You were getting old
When you see this face you better fold
Take this mop and shove it, boy
'Cause it's the only way you'll be employed


"Accio Mop!"

The spell caught her off guard.

She quickly ducked to avoid getting head taken off by the mop that just flew out of the nearby broom cupboard.

"Go find Filch, kid. It's the only way you'll get out alive this year."

With those final words, he ran off, using his robes as a vampire cloak, leaving the terrified and utterly confused first year standing there, mop in hand.


Weeeeell, I'm Shmorky! Eatin' porky!
Whitey rap sure sounds dorky


"Heya, Lily-kins, what you up to?"

Sirius Black's voice cut into her thoughts and she quickly hid the notebook she was currently scribbling in.

"Nothing, Black. Don't you have other business to attend to?"

"Lily, my love, you wound me. I'll have you know that I would like nothing better than to spend time with my best friend's future wife. Besides, that seemed like a pretty quick 'nothing'... I'm sure it's worth hanging around."

Now, Lily wasn't the top student in almost all of her classes for nothing. She knows an opportunity when she sees one.

"Actually, Sirius," she began charmingly, looking up at him through her eyelashes, "I have a favor to ask of you."

"Anything my dear Lily-poo!"

She resisted the urge to chew him out for the use of this revolting nickname and continued.

"You see," she pressed, nauseating herself in the process, "I'm doing a survey of the most... idolized people in this school... find out who they really are, you know? Would you mind... telling me a bit about yourself?" she finished, trying her hardest to appear alluring.

"Of course, Lily, m'dear!" he exclaimed cheerfully.

Great, his ego probably went up about ten points. Seriously, he rivaled James Potter in the ego field.

And so he began to ramble... and Lily began to take notes.

"I like pork. You should try it. I know you're a vegetable and all..."

"What?" she interrupted.

"A vegetable."

"You mean... vegetarian?" she responded, trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Sure, sure. Anyway, just last night I had a brilliant piece of pork. His name was Porky. Porky Pig."

"Wait, wait, wait," she said, interrupting him again, "You named it? That's terrible! How could you eat something with a name?"

"Oi vey, calm down. Not all of us have our anal 'I don't eat anything that was once living' rules. Besides, I have a newsflash for you, Lily-kins; vegetables were once living too! You're killing the plants, so why not the animals?"

"Let's move away from my eating habits and focus on something different, shall we?" she snapped. She didn't like being bested, especially by Sirius Black.

"What could possibly be more interesting than your eating habits, Lily, my love?" he responded slyly, smirk in place.

Lily bit her tongue to keep herself from hexing him. She needed this information, after all.

"How about your music habits? What kind of music do you like?"

This might give her a clue as to what exactly Hyakugojyuuichi really is.

"Well, I do fancy myself a die-hard Celestina Warbeck fan."


"I don't understand how you muggle type people get along with your muggle type music!" he continued fervently, "I mean what is up with that whitey rap? It has got to be the dorkiest thing I've ever heard!"

Lily bit her lip to keep from laughing as she wrote down the given information. Not many put themselves through listening to that.


Got a girl
She's a double D
I slap her butt dressed as a bumblebee


"So what about your dating habits?" she asked, just in case Sirius was secretly in love with Bob the cookie as well, "Who's your, let's say, 'flavor of the week'?"

"Oh! Clarissa Stephens, the fifth year! Have you heard of her?"

Honestly, she hadn't. But she pretended she had for his sake.

"Of course, of course! Go on," she replied enthusiastically.

"She's a double D."

Lily mentally rolled her eyes.

"And?" she inquired politely.

"That's about it," he said, obliviously.

"There's nothing else about her that makes her special?" Lily inquired patiently.


She was expecting that.

"Oh, wait!" he gasped. She could almost see the light bulb flash over his head as the epiphany dawned upon him.

Sirius having an epiphany? About a girl? Did he actually care about something other than boob size?

"She has this incredibly delicious and sexy little bumblebee outfit."

She silently berated herself for getting her hopes up and drowned out Sirius talking about everything he does to his 'girlfriend' while she's in her bumblebee outfit.

She didn't think it was too important to figuring out the mystery of Hyakugojyuuichi.


I eat paste all damn day
I was in a Shakespeare play
I sit down on a lazy suzan
Spin around like Tommy Cruisin'


"Anyway," she interrupted after about five minutes of polite zoning out, "Why don't you tell us something interesting about you? Just name random facts I wouldn't know."

"Hmm, let's see," he said thoughtfully, well, as thoughtfully as Sirius could be, "I have a fascination with Muggle paste."

"Is that so?" Lily asked, genuinely curious but partially scared.

"Yes. I like to eat it," he said matter-of-factly.


"You should try it sometime," he suggested.

"I have," Lily stated, "When I was like, five. I never touched it again."

"Oh," Sirius replied, a tad put out.

"Anyway," he continued as if nothing happened, "I was in a play once."

"Really?" Lily asked, shocked. Sirius didn't seem like he was one for the arts.

"Yup!" he responded, joyfully, "It was Shakespeare!"

"Honestly? Which one?" she asked excitedly, scratching hurriedly in her notebook. She was what some would call a theatre nerd and harbored a certain passion for the classics.

"The Tempest," he affirmed proudly, "I was the sound effects guy!"

Again, Lily berated herself for hoping.

"Sound effects guy?" she asked, weakly.

"Yup!" he went on cheerfully, obviously oblivious to her disappointment, "I got to make lots of thunder noises and rain patter! Would you like to hear me?"

"No, no, that's quite alright..." she tried to say, but he was already making thundering noises and 'rain patters' with his feet.

"Sirius, SIRIUS!" she screamed breaking through the noise.

"Yes?" he asked confusedly.

"How about you tell me some other facts?"

"Have you ever sat on a lazy suzan?"

"Um, no?" she responded hesitantly.

"You should! It's a blast!"

This kid was obviously ADD. She wrote this down in her notebook.

"Is it, now?" she replied uninterestedly.


He obviously wasn't going to say much more on the matter, so she moved on.


Bong Bong Bing Bing
I get paid to play with my thing
I zip out, zip in, zip up, begin!


"What else is there to know about you?"

He looked around conspiringly before whispering in her ear, "Sometimes, I get payed to play with me... you know."

"Okay, I didn't need to know that."

"Why?" he responded slyly, "Jealous? You're welcome to watch, if you want. Only five galleons, and I swear I won't tell Jamesy-poo." He whispered that last part with a conspiring grin on his face.

"No, thank you." she declined, as politely as possible. She did want him to keep talking, after all.

"So, Sirius," she pried, "Indulge me on some more of your secrets of life."

He was silent for a moment before breaking out into a fit of randomness.

"Room with a MOOSE! Jay Leno's CHIN! Ambulance, Enron, Peewee, Pokémon, Bulbasaur, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, THEY CHOOSE YOU! I can't think of anymore to say."

With this he ran off, presumably to the Gryffindor common room.

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

TV says doughnuts are high in fat, kazoo
Found a hobo in my room
It's Princess Leia, the yodel of life
Give me my sweater back, or I'll play the guitar!

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

When Lily finally made her way back to the Gryffindor common room and crawled through the portrait hole, she was met with utter chaos.

It seemed as though the Marauders had finally lost their sanity... wholly, anyway. Lily was sure they had always been lacking in that area... especially after her little visit with Remus.

On the far side of the room, James was wrestling a doughnut away from a poor terrified little second-year girl... with a bright pink and green kazoo in his mouth.

"What are you doing eating those?!" he managed to grunt out through his kazoo, "Doughnuts are way too high in fat for a pretty little girl like you to be eating! You don't want to turn out like..." here he snuck a furtive glance at his friend and whispered his name before continuing, "Peter... do you?"

The girl furiously shook her head and shoved her doughnut toward James who immediately chucked it in the fire.

On the other side of the room, Sirius was currently interrogating poor Remus as to why there was a dead body in their bedroom. As soon as Remus mentioned Mr. Bean, though, he backed off with a strange mixture of pity and fear plastered on his face.

Out of the blue, a crazed fourth year girl ran up and snatched James' sweater out from under his arm!

"I got it, I got it!" she screeched, quite literally, as her friends squealed with excitement.

"Oi!" James shouted, affronted, "Give that back!"

"Why should I?" the girl asked evilly, her eyes glinting evilly and her friends cackling maniacally in the background.

"Because, if you don't, I'll play the guitar," he threatened.

Now, to an outsider, this would be a meaningless threat. Maybe it would even be appealing to one who has heard the stories of James' incredible hotness.

But, any sensible Hogwarts student knew to avoid James and his guitar at all costs... because there was absolutely nothing hot about it.

In fact, it was deafening, and he knew it.

The girl screeched, again, quite literally, and threw the sweater back at him.

Then, as if he had just noticed she was in the room, James bounded up to her screaming "Lily!" and practically attacked her with a hug.

"What in the name of Merlin do you think you're doing, Potter?" she asked harshly, trying to ignore the heat rising to her cheeks for some unexplained reason.

"You're alive! Don't worry, Lily! I'll protect you!"

"Potter!" she cried out as he pushed her roughly behind him and stood in front of her, holding a sword he had just conjured, "What are you doing?"

"It's my duty to protect the yodel of life, my love. You're the Princess Leia to my Luke Skywalker, babe!"

Lily stood there for a moment processing it all.

"Wait, I'm the yodel of life?"

"Yes," he stated simply, not understanding her confusion.

One could practically hear the cogs in her head turning vigorously.

"You mean a cookie is love with me?!" she cried, indignantly.

"Ssh!" he hushed her furiously, "Remus is sensitive about that!"

"What on Earth is going on in here?"

The shrill voice of Professor McGonagall quieted the entire common room instantaneously.

It was a few seconds before anyone could respond.

Remus, being the brave soul that he is, stepped up.

"One fifty one Pokémon on the run. Suzuki-san is the formation of a bun and a veggie burger with tsukemono. Jay-Jay has flown away with Sonny Bono to the after-life to visit Barney Feif and to see Pero's screenshots of his wife named Chris Benoit wearing a pretty dress, saying 'Watashi wa animutation ga suki desu.' Lucky Lucky nice to Mew Two. I need tea for two, how about you, Mr. Coldheart, or should I say professor?"

"Of course, Remus." And with that, the two exited the common room, apparently to the kitchens for a spot of tea.

Lily could only gape.

Had everyone in Hogwarts completely lost their mind?

"Looks like Lesko got revenge on my dresser..." Remus was heard saying as he climbed through the portrait hole.

"So..." Lily said awkwardly, "I'm the yodel of life, eh? And you're my 'noble protector'?"

"Yes," James affirmed.

"And how do I know you'll do your job?"

"That's easy!" Peter, usually quiet, butted in to everyone's surprise.

Suddenly, the usually bright common room light was replaced with almost complete blackness.

It was almost complete because a spotlight landed on Peter, who had suddenly acquired muggle sunglasses and microphone.

The stunned silence was broken by him beginning to rap.

"Props to James (Neil), he's the real deal.
His friends all call him Mr. Popiel.
He's the computer geek who doesn't shower for a week.
His looks are hot; his clothes are CHIC!
He single-handedly changed the interface of the net.
He's an online semi-celebrity you won't forget.
He stormed on the scene like a raging thunder.
His seizure-inducing flag says 'Mr. Gahbunga'."

Sure enough, when the lights came back on, James was standing there, in all his glory, underneath a very seizure-inducing flag.

It was composed of all neon colors and shiny sequins and Remus must have charmed it so that the letters 'Mr. Gahbunga' flashed in rapid patterns of bright colors.

When Lily fell asleep that night, she fell asleep a changed woman.

She had finally found out the deeper meaning of Hyakugojyuuichi.

The deeper meaning?

Well, the Marauders were all insane and seemed to get entertainment out of giving innocent student seizures.

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

There you have it; that's the game
151 we can all be the same
I'm sure that it's been appetizing
With all the subliminal advertising
This has been a celebration
Animutation fans across the nation in formation
Raise their hands in dedication
To the crazy flashing psychopathic happy dancing super magic
Power mega ultra kitschy HYAKUGOJYUUICHI!

(-o.o)- -(o.o)- -(o.o-)

A/N: DUDE. 17 pages, man. That's more than I've ever written in my entire life. No lie.

Anyway, can you believe it's over? Yes, I did have the characters say some parts of the song, but that's legal.

But, while we're on the topic of subliminal advertising... GO TO YOUTUBE. LOOK UP FIVEAWESOMEENTITIES. You know you want to. :) Or at least watch the Wednesday videos... that's my day. Teehee.

More subliminal advertising? REVIEW PLEASE! Okay, so I'm not very subtle. But you can still review, right?