Remus always wondered how anyone could really like themselves, if they took a good look.
He liked to think of himself as a realistic person, so he decided he disliked himself.
He thought that, if he would ever meet Remus Lupin, he would not want to befriend that guy.
Because , really, a werewolf that snooped around while pretending to be something he was most definitely not, was not very likeable.
At least not in his eyes.
And he was very sure that other people also thought this about him.
Except that he was wrong about that.
Because he had friends.
Friends who had flaws, friends who sometimes really weren't friends at all.
In fact, sometimes he'd catch himself looking at them, and hating them.
It was mostly for something really stupid and un-important such as not doing their homework, ever, but sometimes, he found himself hating them , really really hating them.
Because Sirius, he seemed to like himself. He seemed to actually like Sirius Black.
And Sirius Black was, to Remus'opinion, not really all that special.
Except that Remus lied to himself a lot, and he actually thought Sirius was the most special person in the world.
But that's sort of besides the point.
The point was that Sirius liked himself. Most of the time, at least.
Because he was always so arrogant and confident about what he did.
About what he said.
And he was never scared, either. He and James were always the ones to suggest dangerous plans.
One could say that those two triggered each other.
And there, with James, was something else Remus Lupin hated about Remus.
He was jealous.
Jealous because James was Sirius' best friend. Because James could hug Sirius, because James knew Sirius' secrets and weaknesses.
Remus wasn't blessed with that.
Until one night, Sirius' feet padded over to his bed, waking him up.
Sirius climbed in bed with him, Remus, and he had red rims around his eyes, showing that he'd cried.
And Remus hadn't even asked what was wrong, and Sirius had started stuttering.
Telling Remus that, really, he hated himself. He hated himself for acting like a jerk, and for not telling Remus anything about what happened at his home, because that was what friends did, after all.
And Remus told him that it was okay, that he could live with that, while it actually wasn't, while he actually couldn't.
And Sirius had just snuggled up to the warmth of Remus' neck, pushing his nose into the tawny hair and sniffing discreetly.
And Remus had laughed silently, telling him to make sure he better not get any bogey's in his hair. Sirius had just hit him playfully before falling asleep.
And Remus, Remus never hated Sirius after that. Not really.
Because then he'd realised that Sirius was only human, and humans make mistakes.
Like it was his own mistake to love Sirius like no one else could.
Like no one else would.
But, you know, it's not like he could help it anyway.
And even if he could, he wouldn't, because he liked the cravings for Sirius' touch, and he liked wanting to get compliments.
He supposed Remus Lupin was one self-destructive person.
Okay, that was just something popping into my head.
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