Title: No Longer on the Run
Summary: Jay and Kim visit Will and Tyler
Author note: I cried while writing this. –pouts- Lyrics at the beginning are from the song Hurt by Christina Aguilera
Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back
It was cold but he drove with the window rolled partially down. The crisp February air swept past his face, chilling his pale skin and freezing the tears in his eyes before they could fall. He blinked, closing his eyes only for a second before refocusing on the empty street ahead. He could do this. He had to.
Jay turned to look at Kim who sat silent and weary beside him. She looked his way and gave a weak smile before looking back out the window at the pine and oak trees racing by. She had come to give him support and he loved her more for that. He looked back toward the road and pressed the gas just a little harder.
Jay carried a bundle of flowers in his hands; red roses, lilies. They would die quickly from the frost but he didn't care. It was the thought that mattered. Ice crushed beneath his feet and each step he took seemed to take him further and further into an ambiance of gloom, mourning and sadness you only felt when in a place like this. He hadn't realized he'd been holding his breath and once his feet stopped their trek he exhaled. Billows of steamy air rose in front of him obscuring the head stone before him.
His eyes fell onto the names and he found he couldn't breathe anymore, couldn't take one single breath. It was like his lungs refused to take in the thing that kept him alive; kept his blood running hot in his veins protecting him from the devastating cold. His body wanted to die; to be here among the dead. To be with them…
"I'll help you," Kim said finally catching up with him. She squeezed his arm noticing how far gone his expression seemed. He wasn't with her anymore she knew. He was back with them, his friends. "Okay," Jay whispered. Kim grimaced and neared the stone. She carried a piece of cloth, white cotton, to wipe away the smears on the defaced gray marble. Jay smiled weakly at her as she bent, black, silken gown billowing around her feet, hair blowing strewn in the wind as she cleaned Will's side first.
The stone read: "Here lies Will Traveler. The noblest of friends till the very end." Kim's fingers traced the calligraphy-like script as she read the words to herself. Her fingers trembled and her hands steadied. Jay bent to her side. "I'll do it." She nodded and gave him the cloth then moved aside.
Jay raised his hand to Tyler's side of the joint tomb and cleaned the grim away. It read "Here lies Tyler Fog. A man stronger and braver than they all thought."
Jay bent his head and closed his eyes, his friends smiling faces penetrating his lids. He could feel their presence around him, feel their hands clasp his shoulders and squeeze as he rested his head against the cold stone. He fell onto his knees, his legs no longer strong enough to bear his weight and he cried. His body shook and his hands clenched the flowers resting against his thighs. Were they proud of him? Did they know how much they were missed?
"Jay?" Kim dropped to his side and rested her head against his shoulder. "Jay, I'm so sorry." Tears streamed down her flushed cheeks as well and she didn't attempt to wipe them away as she rubbed his arm. She quieted and let him cry and when his tears finally stilled and he turned to look at her, she kissed him on the lips. "You okay?" She asked knowing it was an in appropriate question even before it left her lips but she couldn't think of anything else to say; wasn't even sure if there was anything she could say to take his pain away.
He nodded and grimaced. "Let's go," he said standing. She let him help her up and welcomed his arms as they wrapped around her waist. "They're in a better place now," Kim whispered rubbing Jay's hand as they rubbed her growing stomach.
"Yeah, they are," Jay whispered. We'll be together one day. He looked toward the sky and smiled for the first time in a long time. Laying the flowers in front of the stone he clasped Kim's hand. "Come on."
As they made their way back to their car, Jay steadying Kim's steps so that she wouldn't fall, he was filled with memories of his two best friends.
"You gotta see the world before you can change it, right?" Jay smiled as Will's tenor voice filled him. He would remember his and Will's time together as long as he lived.
"I don't want to go without you Jay," Tyler had said at the beginning of this all.
Jay grimaced. This was one trip they all had to take alone.
They were proud of him he knew. There was no need to worry about that and as he drove toward town he felt free.
They would be together one day. In heaven. In peace.
No longer on the run.