Sunday, October 28, 2007
Well, I finally decided to type this fan fic. I have had it for a while, I just haven't typed it until now.
I looked at the calendar. Bad move.
I felt the old hole in my chest rip open anew with unrelenting pain as I realized that today was exactly one year since…since Ed-he left.
Stop I told myself firmly. Stop before it becomes too much to bear.
But I couldn't stop myself any more than I could stop a speeding train racing to its destination, or a rain drop falling from the sky. So I just opened myself up and let the memories consume me.
Flashes of memories flew through my head. The house, the meadow, the shiny silver Volvo, the beautiful topaz eyes that entranced me, holding me close, not letting go. Just like me. I can't let go.
One year, one year too many. I can't live without him. My angel, my guardian and protector.
Not anymore, though. I am just another insignificant human to him. Just a human who happened to smell too good.
I am nothing to him. Not to my bronze haired angel. He doesn't deserve me. And I don't deserve him. We weren't meant to be.
Not only did he take my soul, but he took my family too. My sisters and brothers, a father and a mother, lost to me forever.
I am doomed to live this life alone. A meaningless life. And I will, for him. His last wish was for me to stay safe, and so I will, for him. Because even though he no longer loves me, I still love him, or at least my memory of him, because without him, I am nothing
I started. I heard more noises, all of them coming from downstairs. Could it be Charlie? No, he was at work, and would be for a few more hours. Burglars. Someone must have thought it funny to break into the police chief's house and lift a few things, like our TV, or his spare gun.
I crept silently down the stairs. Charlie's warnings of staying low, and protecting myself if I was ever in a situation like this one, echoed through my head, but I ignored them. I honestly didn't care what happened to myself anymore. I could care less whether I lived or died. The only reason I had held on to my self for a year was for Charlie and Renee's sake.
I tiptoed into the kitchen, and caught a flash of bright orange coming from the family room.
Fire! I reached for the phone, to call 911 and save the house, but I quickly realized what I was seeing was not fire, but something much more deadly.
Victoria turned around smiling her awful, feral smile at me.
I suppose a normal person would be terrified at the sight I beheld, that is, if they knew what they were looking at, but I didn't feel anything. Not fear, not disgust for what she was, not anything.
Then, I felt something, but it wasn't fear, but relief. She could end it for me. She was going to end it for me, I could see it in her dark black eyes, flecked with just a trace of burgundy. No more pain, no more pretending to be alive, just nothing.
"go ahead, get it over with" I said, the sound of my own voice surprising me.
"What? You aren't going to plead for your life, or tell me that your beloved Edward" -wince- "will save you? No pleas for mercy, or promises of revenge?" She looked at me, puzzled.
"No. Ed-he left. The whole family left. He," my voice faltered, "he doesn't…love me, anymore. And I don't care anymore." saying it aloud made it seem even more real, and horrible, than it was.
I looked into her eyes which, before my eyes, had gotten a shade darker. But I also saw that it wouldn't be a quick end. She hated me. She wanted revenge for James, and for some reason wanted to take it out on me. She was going to make this hurt.
But as I looked closer into her evil eyes, I saw my only hope.
I know, I know, it is pretty emo. But it gets better later. Much better.
I know what you're thinking. This is another Edward leaves, bella get changed story, but believe me, this one has a twist that no one else has thought of. (and if I'm mistaken, please correct me.)
Please read and review!
Oh, I almost forgot:
Disclaimer: no, I don't own twilight, new moon, eclipse, or any of the characters. -goes and sits in a corner to sob uncontrollably-