A/N Random story I wrote when I couldn't sleep. I was thinking about "Sin City" and about the possibility of Sam crossing over to the dark side. Keep in mind it was written hastily at 3:00 in the morning so it might not make sense. My apologies. I hope you enjoy anyway. I might write more, because I've got a lot of ideas for this, but as it is now, this is a one shot. Please R&R It would make me very happy.
Disclaimer: Supernatural is sadly, not mine.
The Darkened Path
Forgive and forget did not always go hand in hand. Sure, when Sam first shot Dean, he forgave him. It took longer than Dean would ever admit, but he forgave Sam. But he could never forget. Back then, Sam was a good person, a better man than Dean could ever be. He couldn't help it if the ghost of Dr. Ellicot blinded him with uncontrollable rage. Dean realized if you took a way a man's moral compass, all his ethics, values, standards and restraints and replaced it with pure unadulterated rage, even the gentlest of people could become vicious killers. So Dean did not blame Sam for shooting him with rock salt, nor did he blame him for trying to shoot him again.
But Dean could never forget the fact that the rage that had reached the surface was a real emotion. Dr. Ellicot had dug deep into Sam's psyche and unleashed the part that resented his brother. Though twisted, perverted and magnified to the point of insane fury, everything Sam had said and felt was real. Dean couldn't ignore it. He couldn't forget it. Forgetting meant they couldn't learn from their mistakes.
The look in Sam's eyes though… as real as the hate was, when it was all over, the hurt, the guilt, and yes, the love overshadowed the rage and Dean understood. There was a dark side in everyone, but most people were too good to unleash its full potential. Sam loved his brother, and brothers fought once in a while; it was a fact of life.
The second time Sam shot Dean was a different story entirely. Sam wasn't Sam. He was possessed by a demon. Dean never had the chance to know what it was like to be possessed but he knew that it was hard to gain control. The second time Sam shot Dean, Dean held no grudge. He couldn't forgive Sam because there was nothing to forgive. But he couldn't forget. He didn't want to. If he forgot, then they would risk it happening again. Remembering meant he'd recognize the signs, meant he could prevent it from happening again.
But never did Dean ever suspect that Sam would shoot Dean a third time. Never did Dean ever dream that Sam would dare hurt his own brother on his own freewill. But somehow it had happened. Sam had shot Dean for a third time. He wasn't possessed, he wasn't under the influence of something supernatural, Sam was Sam.
The worst thing about it, was the why Sam shot Dean. He could understand it if Dean was the one possessed or something, he could understand Sam shooting him to save others, or in self defense, but Sam shot Dean because Dean was trying to stop him from killing an innocent man. The worst was knowing that in killing the Yellow-eyed demon, in selling his soul to bring his brother back to life was in the end, not enough to save Sam. It was all for nothing. Even before Sam pulled the trigger their father's final words to Dean echoed through his ears.
Save him, if you don't you're going to have to kill him.
Save him or kill him. Dean couldn't do that. As hard as he tried, couldn't save him. He knew he couldn't the instant he realized that the Sam was giving into the darkness. On the other hand, Dean knew he could never hurt Sam, let alone kill him. Especially since it was Dean's fault Sam chose the darkened path.
As the shot rang out, and the bullet pierced his skin, pushing its way through Dean's gut and out his back, the irony was not lost on Dean.
Let me save your ass for a change.
The words Sam had said reverberated through his head, echoing louder than the sound of the gunshot. Sam had, by his own freewill, chosen to put his trust in a demon, chosen to throw his morality and possibly his humanity to the wind in order to save Dean from his deal. But in the end, the path Sam had chosen in order to save Dean was the very path that led him to shoot his brother a third time.
"So that's it?" Dean rasped, clutching his wound as he fell against the wall and slinked to the ground, "This is how….you thought you'd…save me?" Dean felt his body convulse and he looked up at Sam who stood, still holding the gun, in shock. "By… betraying me?"
Dean's back arched and he gasped for breath, tasting the metallic flavor of his blood as it escaped the corners of his mouth. Dean tried, but he couldn't stop his body from trembling. He clutched his wound with one hand and reached out for Sam with the other. Dean wondered if somehow being murdered by his brother was the only way to be saved from eternity in hell. Maybe Sam needed to take that path to save him. Perhaps dying before the deadline was the only way to get out of his deal.
Maybe that was the case. Maybe Sam had discovered a loophole somewhere and that was it. But Dean was afraid he was clinging to a false hope. Besides, driving Sam to such lengths was not what Dean wanted. No, Sam had been lured to the dark side, and it was too late to save him. And it was Dean's fault.
He watched Sam, still trying to control the muscle spasms, and the chill that was overtaking him, and he saw his brother lower his weapon and rush to his side. Sam was trying to say something, but there was a loud ringing in his ears, drowning out Sam's voice.
As it became too hard to draw another breath, Dean wondered, if he could go back, knowing the outcome, would he make the same deal for Sam again? Dean couldn't answer that. He didn't want to answer that. He was afraid of what the answer might be. All he could do was wait for Death to take him.
He felt a pressure on his wound and he looked up and saw Sam's face. Dean's vision was blurred, so he couldn't make out any detail, but he knew it was Sam. Dean wondered what kind of look Sam was giving him. Was it cold? Cold like the look he had when he killed Jake? When he killed those people who were possessed? When he chose the path the demon had offered him? Or was there remorse?
Unexpectedly Dean whispered words he hoped would set Sam on the right path. Words he barely had the strength to say but still rang true.
Dean wanted to say more, but all that escaped was a gurgling sound as blood poured from his mouth and with a cold shudder, darkness overtook him.
A/N Once again please R&R. I adore constructive feedback. Thank you for reading. And please let me know if you want me to expand on this.