soundtrack: calling all cars // senses fail
They were fighting.
Sasuke was frustrated and Naruto – Naruto was tired.
Why couldn't Sasuke see that he belonged in Konoha? That he belonged with Naruto?
And why couldn't Naruto see that Sasuke didn't want to belong?
But Naruto kept trying; kept seeing something in Sasuke that Sasuke himself couldn't see.
It was always the same resolved, stormy blue eyes staring back at him. It wasn't the same storm he used to see when they were younger; the developing storm that rolled and thundered in those eyes whenever he fought with vigor. It was the calm before –or after - the storm.
A resolved calm.
And it made his eyes deep and dark; shady and tired.
Why do you keep chasing me, Naruto?
So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found?
I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down.
Naruto believed there was goodness in everyone.
That no matter how dark they were – how ensnared by shadows ones heart was – that there was an ounce of goodness deep down.
"There is nothing left, Naruto."
Sasuke believed otherwise.
And Naruto paused momentarily to stare at Sasuke with mildly confused eyes.
"Your fight for me is pointless," he said. "There is nothing in me to fight for. Do you understand?"
And blank onyx eyes gazed into cloudy blue eyes.
"My heart has stopped feeling a long time ago."
There it was again.
A brewing storm.
And now that I'm gone
Try to move on and forget me now
"Stop saying that," Naruto panted shakily, his body trembling with outrage.
The clouds shifted and darkened.
"Stop saying that!" the blonde roared and attacked relentlessly, determinedly, stubbornly, hopefully.
"You're just human! All humans feel something! Everyone who lives and breathes – who has a heart- feels something!" Naruto insisted angrily.
And the rain fell from the observing heavens and Naruto and Sasuke continued to fight and the kitsune wondered furiously why his eyes kept blurring.
Sasuke couldn't help but muse how the rain made Naruto appear to be crying.
Why do you shed tears for me, Naruto?
Oh my dear, what have I gone and done now?
It's curtain call, and I'm about to take a bow.
Naruto punched Sasuke.
Sasuke hit Naruto.
And then it was much too blurry to tell who was hitting who, but there was blood and pain and weariness…
And then aslam as Sasuke grabbed Naruto's collar and shoved him harshly against a tree. Enraged Sharingan eyes stared into just-as-red demonic eyes.
"Why, Naruto," Sasuke hissed furiously. "Why do you continue to go so far for me? Why?" And he pulled Naruto forward before slamming him back again, frustrated, feeling so very frustrated.
"Because," Naruto growled, and the tears rolling were more than prominent now as he gave up trying to hold them back. "Because you're Sasuke! You're the first person to look at me! You're the first person to treat me like a rival – not dirt! You're the first person I could ever call my friend! You're the person who made me stronger!"
He was clutching on to Sasuke's clothes like a life line.
"It's 'cause you're Sasuke… I can't live without Sasuke. I can't, I can't, I can't. I've tried, goddamn it! I've fucking tired! And I just can't…" He grit his teeth, blond brows furrowing as he gazed up achingly at Sasuke.
His hands were trembling.
And I don't have love left inside, inside.
Are you desperate for an answer?
The storm rolled and roared.
And red bled to cloudy blue and there it was again – that shifting, brewing storm, waiting to give way to the calm.
They could hear each other's panting over the roaring wind and rain and feel their body heats radiating amongst the cool, icy, chilling weather…
And then Sasuke smashed himself to Naruto and lips collided and teeth clanked and there was a desperation that wasn't there before as they helplessly molded their bodies together, seeking heat and something more.
They could hear their hearts thundering in their ears.
They could feel jolts coursing like lightning beneath their flesh.
Naruto's tears and sobs were washed away as he clung to Sasuke, giving his all to the Uchiha – body and soul.
I don't have an ounce of good left in me now.
That's why I walked out.
The storm eventually passes.
The calm comes next.