I've decided that I love…
I tossed and turned on my bed during that evening. Thoughts of Eiji nii-chan keeps floating in my mind. I think I know who I chose already. But I don't know how to tell Syuusuke my decision. Sigh. I've decided that I really didn't want to trouble myself with thinking of how to tell Syuusuke. To tell him straight, to me is the best thing. So…
Next day after school:
"Gomen, Syuusuke. In the end I can't continue to go out with you because erm… Eiji nii-chan that I…" Yukiko said before she bowed and apologized. I got her meaning. I wore the smile I wore normally and smiled at her and nodded.
"Hmm… Wakatta. I thought so too… That you would in the end choose Eiji." I pulled her into my arms.
"Be happy and remember that you can always come to me like what you're doing with Tezuka okay? Saa… I think you'd better get going…"
"Yukiko, can you stay like this for a while longer? Let me hold you like this for one last time, before I let you go…" I said. I could feel the tears and the urge to cry. As I watched her back disappeared into the corner, my tears fell one by one. I couldn't bear to let her go. But I didn't want to see her sad though. I smiled while I waved goodbye to her. That was all I could do in that moment: smile and wished for her happiness and give her my blessings. I gave my heart and my all to her in our relationship. But I guess in the end, it was still nothing compared to what Eiji can give her.
'Yukiko, from the bottom of my heart, I wish you and Eiji happiness. In the end, all that I could keep were the memories. Perhaps, in the future, I'll find someone better even though I know that it isn't possible. My love, my heart will be with you wherever you go.'
Sigh. I wonder when is Chibi-chan gonna come. We've made plans to watch movie marathon at my place tonight! Maybe she's got something on last minute? Sigh, but she should at least call to inform me or something… Sigh.
My eyes brightened as I jumped off the couch and sprang to answer the door. As I opened the door, I came across a very red Chibi-chan. Still, I went over to her and gave her a tight hug.
"Chibi-chan! I'm so glad you came!!" I hurried her inside and sat her down on the couch.
"Hoi, wait for me nya. I'll get some snacks nya."
I didn't know how to tell Eiji nii-chan that I've rejected Syuusuke. I'm planning on telling him during or after the movie marathon but problem is that I don't know how to tell him exactly… Sigh.
"Oi, Chibi-chan, you okay? You seem to be sighing a lot nya…" Eiji nii-chan asked. I smiled and nodded my head, telling him that I'm alright. He brought us a two huge bowls ice-cream with hot chocolate fudge and one tub of plain vanilla ice-cream. He then sat down on the couch and settled me down beside him. He pushed a few buttons on the remote control and the movie began.
"Chibi-chan, feed me!!" Eiji nii-chan pouted. I laughed and did as he said. I took a small spoonful of ice-cream, ate a little then fed the rest to Eiji nii-chan.
"Nya, Chibi-chan. How old are you? You can't even eat an ice-cream properly." After he said that, he started licking the bits of ice-cream off my cheek and nose and lips.
"There, all clean nya. Since you can't eat like a normal 14-year-old kid, I might as well feed you. Here, hand over the spoon nya." I did as I was told. He brought the spoon halfway to my mouth but the spoon dropped and the contents spilled onto my hand.
"Oops, gomen. Looks like I'm not that good nya. Here, let me get that nya." He lifted my hand and gently licked off the ice-cream. He then licked the last of the ice-cream off the tip of my fingers and then sucked it. My body instantly felt hot and I can't hold back the blush anymore and let out a soft moan.
"Ohh… You like that don't you?" Eiji nii-chan said with a smirk. I pulled back my hand. He just continued smiling and went back to watching the movie. I smiled and put the finger which he kissed to my lips. Snuggling up to Eiji nii-chan, I continued watching the movie. In between the scene, Eiji nii-chan would give me a quick kiss and wrapped his arms around me.
Because I was too into the movie, I failed to realized that drops of ice-cream fell off the spoon. It landed onto my chin then rolled down on my upper chest. I muttered under my breath and just as I was about to clean my chin, Eiji nii-chan popped just in front of my face and gently licked my the ice-cream off. Before I knew it, he got to work on my neck. He suckled on my neck a little then I could feel his tongue running down to my chest. My heart was beating too loud and fast for me to think clearly. He lifted his head and gave me a smile then licked my lips.
"Some 14-year-old kid you are… You don't learn from your previous lessons do you? Here, I'll guide you." he took my hand with the spoon in it then scooped up the ice-cream and slowly came to my lips. I gave myself a mental shake and felt a blush on my face. I released the spoon and retracted my hand, sending the ice-cream down my chest. He looked at me and smiled then bent down and undid my pajamas. I shut my eyes tight, anticipating his next movement. Surprisingly, he didn't do anything. My eyes slowly opened and there, I saw Eiji nii-chan smiling (again) and he sat up and scooped the ice-cream and put it in his mouth. I watched as he licked his lips and how the ice-cream moved down his throat. He then scooped up another spoonful of ice-cream and held it to my lips and fed me. Again, another spoonful of ice-cream but this time…
"KYA!! Eiji!! What are you doing? It's freezing!!!" I exclaimed. He paused halfway and tipped the spoon over my chest. He started laughing.
"Nya!! You did that on purpose didn't you?" I scolded. He nodded then leaned in and pressed his lips on mine. Slowly, his tongue slipped between my lips. After a few moments, he broke the kiss and allowed his lips to trail down her chin to her throat. He gently brushed across her chest and started cleaning up the mess.
"Chibi-chan, let's make a promise." He hooked his little finger onto mine.
"What promise?" I asked.
"Alright! It's a done deal!! We'll continue this five years from now okay?" I blushed furiously and buried my face onto the nearest pillow. I could hear him laughing. Then I felt as if I was off the ground. Of course, I was right. Eiji nii-chan lifted me off the couch and brought me to his room and threw me onto his bed. He then got out a blue pajamas top and swiftly pulled off the one I was wearing and replaced it with a new one.
"There, all clean." He winked and pounced onto me and immediately fell asleep. I, on the other hand, can't. I can hear his breathing, feel his body emitting heat, hear his heartbeat and my skin is sensitive to his touch. With a hand over my mouth, I covered my mouth to prevent any weird sounds from coming out. My breath was heavy and irregular. I cautiously sat up and looked at the boy that was fast asleep beside me. I leaned in to have a closer look and stroke his cheeks gently.
I controlled myself from smiling. Her touch was warm against my cheeks. I really wanted to just get up and hold her in my arms and tell her just how I feel about her. Just then, I felt her lips on my cheek and then, on my lips.
"Eiji… I'm really sorry if I hurt you in the past. But right now, my heart is overwhelmed by feelings for you… I just can't explain it and I just can't bring myself to tell you how much I like you. I'm sorry that I can't tell you face to face. You make my heart beat two times faster and harder than normal. When I'm around you, I can't breath. I can't think right and I can't think straight when my heart is beating so hard…" tears fall from the edge of my eyes when I heard her last sentence to me for that day…
"Eiji, I think I love you…"