I Was A Teenage Mole Rat


"I can't believe you're jealous of a mole rat" Kim said to her boyfriend.

"Well, why not? Ron responded "Things are easy for the little guy."

Kim and Ron were walking to their lockers. At that moment, Rufus climbed out of Ron's pocket and hoped onto Ron's shoulder.

"Hey, little buddy" Ron said as he pulled out a piece of chocolate "Want some candy?"

Rufus happily took the chocolate and began to scarf it.

"I'm telling you, Kim" said Ron "Rufus has a good life. He can sleep all day, eat all he wants, and he can burrow through the ground!"

"And you find that cool because?" Kim asked.

"It just is" Ron responded "Come on, Kim. You're not going to tell me you've never thought about life from Rufus's point of view?"

Kim grinned awkwardly, then turning to Ron, she barely whispered "Well, maybe a little."

Before Ron could say anything triumphantly, an all too familiar sound went off


"What's the sitch, Wade?" Kim asked as she turned on the kimmunicator.

"Drakken has stolen a bunch of genetics equipment" the ten-year old genius said "I think he's up to something big."

"We're on it" Kim said as she grabbed Ron's arm and ran for the door.


"Thanks for the lift, George" Kim said

"It's the least I could do after you saved my village from that flood" the pilot said.

"No big" Kim said "It was just a matter of creating a rock slide to stop the flood."

"Yeah" Ron said as he rubbed his head "Well, my head still hurts from my run-in with that cliff."

"Well, maybe this will make you feel better" Kim said as she leaned in and kissed Ron on the forehead.

Ron blushed "Thanks, KP, now it doesn't hurt when I drink my soda" and he resumed sucking on his jumbo Slurpster.


"Have you got a lock on Drakken's newest lair yet, Wade?" Kim asked.

"No luck" Wade said "They must be using highly advanced cloaking technology"

"We've been circling this area for an hour" Kim said "Are you sure this were you traced Drakken."

"I'm positive, Kim" Wade said "Drakken is there somewhere. I'll keep looking."

Just then, the plane started to shake.

"Hang on!" George cried. "We've flown into a choppy wind stream!"

The plane continued to shutter. Ron's Slurpster flew out of his grasp and out the window.

"Aw, man!" Ron cried as he looked out the window. As he did, his face lit up.

"Hey, KP" Ron said "You better take a look at this."

Kim came over to Ron and looked out the window, a smile appearing on her face Highly advanced cloaking technology, huh?


Drakken put the finishing touches on his newest weapon. Soon, it was finished and held it proudly in his hands.

"Shego" he said "I give you the Splice 'N' Dicer!"

The green woman looked over the device in her employer's hands. It looked like an over-grown toy gun made over with lights and wires.

"So, what's it do?" Shego asked in her usual 'I know this won't work' tone.

Drakken sneered angrily. "Shego, don't you ever pay attention? With this device, I can infuse any living creature with any D.N.A strand I chose. I can give my men the strength of a gorilla, the speed of a cheetah, the stealth of a snake, the agility of a rabbit,,,,,"

"The nastiness of Commodore Puddles?" Shego said mockingly.

"Are you crazy, Shego?! If I gave my henchmen the fury of Commodore Puddles, I would be unleashing an evil even I couldn't control!" He thought for a minute "Wait a second, you were mocking me again!"

"So you picked up on it, huh? Good for you."

Drakken growled. "The point is Shego, I can give my soldiers super abilities. With that kind of power at my command, no one will stop me!"

Shego frowned at him.

"What now?" the blue villain asked.

"Your technique is somewhat familiar, but I can't put my finger on it. Oh, now I remember, it's the same thing done by..."

Drakken covered Shego's mouth before she could finish.

"Shego, how many times do I have to ask you not to say that name?!" he shuddered.

"But's its true, I think you still like her." Shego teased.

"Don't be absurd! Her skills were impressive, but I'm not basing this plan on her!" Drakken yelled. "Now, moving on, soon I will by in control of an army of supermen that can do the impossible!"

"Funny" said a voice. "I do the impossible and haven't been zapped.

Drakken turned to Kim, Ron, and Rufus standing behind him.

"Kim Possible?!" Drakken cried "How did you find us? The lair was complete camouflaged!"

"It was easy when the paint was washed off" Kim said.

"Shego!" said Drakken "I thought I told you to buy waterproof paint!"

"I did" Shego said "The label said it could withstand up to seventy different conditions!"

"Yeah" Ron said sheepishly "Is Slurpster on that list?"

"No matter" said Drakken "Shego, do your thing!"

"Gladly" Shego said as she powered up and charged at Kim.

While Kim and Shego did battle, Ron and Rufus snuck up behind Drakken. At the same moment, Drakken decided to test his new device. He powered it up and tried to point it at Kim, but found it impossible because she kept moving around.

"Shego, can't you keep her still for one minute?" Drakken asked.

"I'm trying!" Shego snapped back.

Just then, Kim was in range of the splicer ray. Before Drakken could pull the trigger, Ron pounced on him and knocked the ray away.

"You don't" Ron said with a sneer "mess with my gf's genes!"

While Kim fought Shego and Ron scuffled with Drakken, Rufus made his way over to Drakken's splicing gun. He started to cross wires when Drakken knocked Ron away and picked up the gun. Not noticing Rufus dangling from it, Drakken pointed the ray at Kim.

"Prepare to become a overgrown canary, Miss Possible" Drakken said triumphantly.

Knowing he had to act fast, Rufus spotted the main wire on the splicer and bit down harder on it than he did to Erik. Electricity surged through the little mole rat's body as the splicer shook. The electrical energy sent Rufus into the air. Knocking Shego away long enough, Kim reached out and grabbed the mole rat. Everyone watched as the splicing ray exploded in Drakken's hands. When the smoke cleared, there was smoldering, sneering Drakken. Knowing that her employer's newest plan had gone sour in record time, Shego grabbed the angry blue man, jumped into the hovercar, and flew out the hole that she blew in the wall.

Kim handed Rufus back to Ron, who checked the little guy over.

"How are you feeling, buddy?" he asked.

Rufus squeaked and gave an a-ok sign. Just then, the mole rat's stomach began to rumble loudly through the empty lair.

"Sounds like somebody needs some nacos" Ron said in a fatherly tone.

As Rufus squeaked in approval, something came over Kim. The prospect of nacos never sounded more satisfying to her.

"You know" she said out loud "I could go for some nacos, too, big time."

Ron and Rufus looked at Kim in shock. Then a smile appeared on Ron's face.

"I knew if you hung with me long enough, you'd develop the same craving for nachos that I have." Ron said to his girlfriend proudly.

"Riiiight" Kim said unsurely "Well, come on" she said as she drugged Ron to the door "Bueno Nacho won't stay open all night."

As Ron began to get lost in happy thoughts over the prospect of his dream girl finally discovering the same passion for mexican food that he had, Ron got a strange feeling in his teeth. Feeling the inside, Ron discovered that his two front teeth were becoming rigidly sharp. I got to cut down on the milk Ron thought to himself I'm developing an over bite.


Kim walked out of the bathroom and to her bedroom, still shocked about what happened at Bueno Nacho. She couldn't believe how much she ate, let alone the manner in which she ate. She was beginning to wonder if Ron and Rufus were starting to rub off on her. Just then she started to feel itchy. Kim scratched her arms and legs and soon realized a part of her back was itching like crazy and she couldn't reach it. I'll get Ron to get it for me tomorrow Kim thought to herself I'm sure he wouldn't mind touching me there. As she laid down on her pillow, Kim's thoughts were on her new appetite and her itching feeling. She wondered what was becoming of her. As she closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep, her nails started to grow at an alarming rate.


Ron was in his bathroom, getting ready for bed, thinking about what he witnessed a few hours ago. I've never seen Kim put away nachos like that he thought to himself If I didn't know better, I'd say she was eating for two. A thought struck Ron but he shrugged it off just as quickly as it came Now that's just crazy Ron thought to himself Kim promised that she'd save herself for me for when we get married. No, Kim's just tapping into her inner Ron. Maybe I'll challenge her to a naco eating contest tomorrow. Hey, what's that? Ron looked in the mirror and noticed a couple of short whiskers on either side of his face.

"Cool!" Ron said out loud "Rufus, I'm growing a mustache!

The mole rat gave him a high-five and the two went to bed. As Ron slept, a small stubby tail start to grow out of the seat of his pants.


Sunlight poured in through Kim's window, stirring her awake. Oh, I've got such a headache Kim thought to herself as she woke up. Rubbing her head, Kim noticed her nails were so long, they looked like claws Whoa, I've really got to clip those. Kim was then surprised to notice her pajamas were unusually larger, so large that she slipped out of them. Okay, this is getting weird Kim thought to herself as sat up and looked over the edge of her bed Hey, how did my bed get so high up? Kim was getting worried. She then looked at her arms and noticed that her arms were looking extremely pinkish I know I'm tanner than this Kim thought to herself. Looking behind her, Kim got her biggest shock yet in the form of a short, pink tail on her backside. Kim was freaked WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!? Kim looked at the blank screen of her computer to see her reflection and couldn't believe what she saw. This is SO worse than when I became a monkey!


Ron woke up with a yawn, Turning on his side, he got an extremely close view of Rufus's back.

"Whoa! Up close and personal!" Ron said as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. As he did, he noticed his hands looked smaller, pinker, and had long nails. Ron thought his eyes were playing tricks on him. Ron turned back to Rufus, who was looking bigger than usual.

"Rufus, have you gained weight?" Ron said "I warned you about eating that extra chimmerito last night."

"You weren't going to eat it" Rufus snapped back sleepily "And I didn't want it to go to waste."

"Well, we could've brought it home and put in the refriger..." Ron just realized what happened "Rufus! I understand you!"

Ron looked around, his room looked strangely larger. He looked at his bed "Uh, Rufus, why is the bed so big?" He noticed his chest was bare "Hey, what happened to my clothes and why is my chest so pink?" Looking at his arms and legs and noticed his entire body was pink. "Rufus, what is happening here?!"

All this yelling stirred Rufus awake. "Would you relax, Ron?" he said as he sat up and looked to Ron "You're probably having a nightma..." Rufus got a good look at Ron and couldn't believe his eyes "Whoa!" he cried out in shock.

"What? What?!" Ron asked panicking, wanting to know what Rufus was staring at.

Ron jumped out of bed, hoped onto a chair and looked at himself in his dresser mirror. He nearly fainted at what he saw. He yelled like never before. At the same time, Kim let out a scream that could shatter glass. Then the two metamorphed teens screamed simultaneously at the top of their lungs "I'M A NAKED MOLE RAT!"