Ok, before you read I want to make something perfectly clear: this is an anthro fic. If you do not like anthro, do not read this or flame me. If you're not sure what anthro is, picture Lion King characters with human bodies, and that's what this story is like. If you do like anthro, well, enjoy.
The story chapter is also a spoof of the novel "Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde."
In the mid-1800's, a man's unfortunate accident with a shotgun left his stomach partially exposed. Sometime after, experimenters talked him into becoming a human guinea pig for research on functions of the stomach.
Albeit after awhile the man did become fed up with all the experimenting, added to the transparent covering placed over his abdomen for the researchers to observe better, and also fled to Canada, where he died while in hiding, not to mention his family threatening the scientists with death if they attempted to retrieve it for an autopsy, the psychological link discovered between the stomach and the emotional properties of the brain was astounding:
Apparently, if depressed, stomach acid decreases which is very much needed for digestion. This may explain why sorrowful people have little appetite. Salivation may slow as well-
Caught off guard, the adult hyena practically jumped out of the blue swivel chair he'd been sitting in. Lightly putting a hand over his now thumping heart, he calmed upon seeing it was only T. Seeing she startled him, T glanced at what he'd been looking at that made him so interested…and tilted her head upon seeing a large, complexly drawn-out psychology manual. She picked it up and flipped through the pages curiously.
"Did Shenzi leave this here?" T failed to notice the way Ed rolled his eyes, before kindly taking the book and confirming it was indeed Shenzi's, then promising he'd deliver it straight to her room. He added something, in his own "language" of course, about how trying to look at all those pictures and diagrams made his head hurt. He then laughed and went upstairs to Shenzi's room, book in hand.
T smiled kindly and went back to the work she'd being doing previously: getting out the bleach, air-fresheners, and cleaners. Earlier that week, Shenzi and Banzai had been hired for a nighttime…errand, by someone whose identity she wasn't allowed to know. It was as expected of three hitpeople-for-hire, but even though the clients were always different, the location of the hit was near constantly by the upper-class part of town, where a lot of posh, decorous…wealthy, gung ho…willing-to-get-rid-of-competition-in-anyway, lions resided. Though any time or any place it was completed, with no other place to finish off the remaining details, Shenzi and Banzai had to lug the… rotting fruits of their labor, back home. And once they were done T was expected to supply the tools to hide the evidence, since she was the one who cleaned the house often and knew where all the cleaning chemicals were.
So while the rest of the houses in the neighborhood smelled like apples and pumpkin spice, theirs smelled like a harsh assault of cheap, liquid bleach.
A sudden chill of cold, dry air hugging the back of her neck, instinctively made T gaze toward the now open front door. Right on schedule, Shenzi and Banzai were trying to get a large bag through the doorway. Banzai carried it painstakingly behind him and Shenzi, carrying the lower half, partially supported it with her hips while clasping onto it with her arms. Once they'd managed to get the door closed behind them, the bag, and what was in it, dropped to the floor.
"I hate Mondays." Banzai grumbled.
"It's Tuesday." Shenzi corrected him.
Having a good idea of what was in the bag, T sighed and brought out a box of bathroom cleaners.
"Ready when you are." She showed them the cardboard container full of ammonia, chlorine, stain remover, etcetera.
Unexpectedly, Shenzi grew a casual look on her face and waved it off. "No need." Her tone was somewhat…strangely, cheerful.
T raised a brow. "Whaddya mean?"
Shenzi gave her a sly look. "Sorry; only need-to-know basis."
Banzai rolled his eyes, then looked at T. "We passed by the junkyard and someone left the keys in the car compactor."
The matriarch glared at him. "Where's your holiday spirit?"
"It got thrown out the same time my back did!" He irritably snapped.
"So if you could dump," T pondered on the right thing to say as she looked at the bag on the floor, "…that, in the compactor down the street, why'd you bring it here?"
"Ask Banzai, he's the one without a backbone." Shenzi replied, glancing over at him as he painfully rubbed his lower back. "We're gonna hafta take the car." She explained.
As if on cue, Ed popped out from the kitchen, keys in hand. She chuckled, taking them away. "Right, like I'd let you drive at all, much less a block."
Shenzi turned toward the door and proceeded outside to the driveway. T started to put away all the cleaners and the box in the broom closet, while Banzai slumped on the couch. Ed appeared to be taking interest in a housefly knocking itself against the ceiling light, not seeming bothered by staring at the luminous bulb.
Soon ignition sounds were heard from outside…accompanied by a few annoyed grunts 5 minutes later, when the half-groans of the engine persisted. Unexpectedly, the front door swung open again, an irritable-looking Shenzi holding onto the knob. The now clearly frustrated matriarch darted her gaze to Banzai, unmoved from the couch, and swiftly advanced in his direction. By the drowsy look on his face, he was just started to get relaxed…until she quickly knocked him to the floor. T heard some irate Spanish cursing before he got up and glared at Shenzi.
"What was that for?!"
"Somethin's wrong with the car, go check it out."
"But I didn't even drive last ti-IME!" His sentence was cut short as she grabbed him by the neck and lugged him outside.
Pondering if they'd need any help, mainly Banzai, T grabbed a scarf and ventured after them. By this time Ed was amusing himself by mimicking the fly's actions in unison on the wood table.
After about 2 minutes, the hyena pondered how the fly could enjoy this…and soon found out when he began to see stars! Pretty, glowing, multi-colored stars. Hoping to see more, he tried pounding harder and was eagerly greeted with more and more of the shiny, sparkly lights, accompanied by their vibrant colors. Unfortunately, he failed to notice the huge bruise quickly shaping itself on his forehead…
A few minutes later…
"WHADDYA MEAN THE SPARK PLUGS ARE GONE?!" Shenzi demanded when the three came back inside. T removed her scarf, hung it on the rack, and wordlessly departed into the living room to let this take its course.
"I mean if somebody wanted to steal the dang thing, they couldn't even hotwire it because, THE SPARK PLUGS ARE GONE!"
"Well who coulda took the spark plugs while we were out? Ed can't tell his left hand from his right, and T's decent but she don't know a thing about cars. I think this is your fault, for not settin' the car alar- …THE STIFF'S GONE!"
Banzai blinked, scarcely comprehending what she'd just said. From what he now observed, she was gaping at something, eyes wide, and mouth practically on the floor. Confused, he raised a brow.
"THE STIFF'S GONE!" She repeated, this time pointing to a spot on the floor.
He turned to face the direction she was gesturing in…and his face, turning pale, soon became shocked as hers. There, where once the huge bag and the body inside lay, was nothing but a vacant space of wood floor; had they not brought it into the house themselves, they would've thought nothing had ever been here. Evidence it had even been moved was scarce.
"Aw man, this is serious!" Banzai started. "How we gonna get paid!?"
"What I'm wonderin' is how they got inside n' dragged it out without us noticin' anythang." Shenzi then turned her gaze in the direction of the kitchen. "T!"
At her voice, the younger female quickly emerged into the hallway.
"You seen anything while we were gone? Anybody checkin' out the house?"
"No." She shook her head, before noticing the empty spot on the floor. "Hey, how'd you two get rid of it so fast?"
"We didn't." Banzai grumbled.
T slanted her head in a confused manner, Shenzi once again waved her hand. "No time ta explain. Just go back n' do whatever you was doin'."
Still perplexed, T departed back into the kitchen. Immediately, Shenzi turned to Banzai. "Alright, better start searchin' while the trail's still hot."
Just then, Ed's laughter sounded through the house, and the enthusiastic hyena soon approached them with a pawful of envelopes. He held them out for either Shenzi or Banzai to take.
"I ain't got time to check the mail, Ed!" She griped, "I'm doin' a lil' investigatin' here!"
"Hey man, you ain't by any chance seen that stiff we hauled in? Or anybody haulin' it out?"
Ed turned his head completely sideways in puzzlement, before shaking his head quickly, and once again holding the mail out to Shenzi; nudging her impatiently with the stack of envelopes. She rolled her eyes and with a, "Fine!", took them from his hands. Looking pleased, Ed left the room. Banzai watched as she filed through the papers.
"What is it?"
"Just a bunch 'a junk mail!" She irritably answered, placing another envelope on the bottom of the pile as she continued to look…until instantly, her expression stunned, before she violently sifted through the mail once more. She stopped abruptly, when her hand grabbed an envelope looking no different than the others…with the exception of words made by cut-out letters of unknown publications. They read: "To My Body-Shop Suppliers".
Throwing the remainder of envelopes behind her shoulder, Shenzi brought out an index claw to slash through the top. Banzai watched her curiously, and soon she pulled out a twice-folded letter; its print was the likeness of the title on the envelope.
"What's it say?" Shenzi heard Banzai ask. She read the cut-out letters aloud for them to hear:
"Thanks for the help; that stiff is gonna really roll in some cash. Colleges'll pay anything to study a dead body. Now I can save my bar, and it's all because you guys do such a great job of guardin' your assets.
"Good luck explaining this to your clients. Sincerely,
Shenzi stared at the letter for a minute, before growling angrily and throwing it to the floor. "Well who do we know who tends bars anyway?!"
"Bootlegs or public?" Banzai inquired.
"Nothin'. So what's this mean? Some down-on-'is-luck bartender took our stiff to pawn it with a group 'a college kids?" He said.
"All the bars we go to are doin' just fine, considerin' the amount of drunk drivers is like New Year's every night."
"…There's a bar goin' outta business two blocks from here!" Banzai stated.
"You would know that." She said.
"Hey, I never go in. The place is probably bein' shut down because the booze tanks. …Hey! Maybe the guy who runs it took out the spark plugs! Y'know, so we couldn't leave with the body."
"If that's true, how'd they get inside and drag it out without anyone seein'?"
"…I'm just brain-stormin' here! Don't ask me to do all the work!"
Shenzi rolled her eyes and bonked him lightly. "Just get ya coat." She said, putting on her own jacket and walking out the door.
The two gradually made their way down the two blocks between them and the bar. The area of their town being particularly seedy, they ran into things nobody but class-A hitmen could tolerate. Aside from the dry, frigid air blowing dead leaves in their faces, there were street gangs glaring at them as they passed, muggers awaited in the shadows, quickly backing down only upon seeing them and knowing trying to rob them would be a fatal mistake. Dealers leaning against traffic signs on street corners, tried to offer them whatever illegal items they were selling, until the two flashed their handguns from the inside pockets of their jackets.
Shenzi and Banzai realized they were getting close, when they saw drunks either sprawled out in the gutter or halfway in and out of alleys. Looking up, they saw a small building, with neon signs in the front window, some shapes of liquor bottles, some just advertising the bar. Exchanging glances, the two nodded and entered the sleazy structure.
Inside, a few customers at booths momentarily peeked up at them from their drinks, before lowering them back. The roof of the place was half-covered in cigar smoke, and whoever was sitting at the stools by the counter seemed to be harassing the bartender…the female bartender, in a tight low-cut red shirt, gold, dangly earrings and, as of the moment, a very irritated look on her face.
"…Big surprise; it's always the pretty girl who turns out to be the backstabber." Banzai said.
"Well, I didn't like it happenin' in junior high and I don't like it now…" Shenzi growled, prior to hostilely walking up to the counter.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Banzai grabbed her shoulder lightly to stop her. "We need to be easy with this. Let me do the talkin'."
"If you weren't talkin' I'd say I came here with Ed." She scorned.
Ignoring her insult, he made his way toward the counter. Shenzi rolled her eyes, before following suite. By the time they made it over, the bartender was having her hands full with a few customers who'd had one too many. One was urging her for another glass, while another unsuccessfully tried to grab onto a bowl of chips to keep from falling to the floor, and the third was hitting on her.
"C'mon sweetie, just one little peck." His voice came out slurred as he tried to tickle her under the chin, she slapped his hand away, apparently angering him. "Why I oughtta-!!" Just as he rose up from his seat, a fist conveniently clenched onto the back of his neck, right before slinging him across the room; the rest of the patrons being too drunk to notice.
By the time the bartender glanced back to see who'd done her that favor, she looked just in time to see a tough-looking male sit in front of her, a casual grin on his face. "No thanks necessary." He spoke. She raised a brow in interest, but hid a smile. Shenzi, whom she failed to notice, took a seat next to him.
The bartender spoke normally, "Can I get you a drink?" The male smiled at her, causing her chest to flutter. "Yeah…although, me n' my friend here," he gestured to Shenzi, "ain't from around these parts. Anything you'd recommend?" He made sure to quirk an eyebrow in her direction.
She spoke not a word but turned to mix up two drinks, while she was churning something in the blender, she glanced back and tried to make small talk. "So uh, what brings ya here?"
Banzai shrugged and leaned onto the counter to make it seem like he wanted closer to her, she didn't protest. Shenzi didn't think she'd ever seen Banzai smile for such a long period of time, and casually leaned her elbow on the polished bar surface. The bartender quickly snapped her head in her direction.
"Hey," her tone was threatening, "quit makin' prints on my countertop!"
Astonished, Shenzi moved her elbow, but quickly fixed her with a glare. Banzai noticed, but kept his focus on the bartender.
"So," he began, "you got a name, good-lookin'?"
Shenzi almost gagged, and apparently the female running the bar didn't take well to it either from the way she lunged over the bar with a knife in her fist. The surprised male immediately leaned back.
"My name isn't 'good-lookin''." she nearly growled. Banzai froze on the spot, and Shenzi earnestly watched to see where this would lead to. Just as he thought the female caretaker might use that knife on him, her frown melted as her voice took on a flirtatious tone.
"It's Mawnda." She smiled, cutting a lime wedge with the knife. Banzai relaxed and chuckled nervously, taking the drink she personally handed to him. Shenzi nearly missed the glass carelessly slid in her direction, almost growling at Mawnda then and there.
Banzai reached into his wallet to pay her, but she quickly pushed down his hand.
"It's on the house." She grinned, until looking in Shenzi's direction. "Three-fifty for you."
Seeing her face turn red, Banzai immediately decided to milk this bartender for information before things got ugly. …Glancing at his friend reaching into her inner jacket pocket, he knew time was of the essence.
"So, Mawnda," he smoothly began, "where were you when I came into town today?"
"Just minding this place." Came her bored reply. "It's a dump, but it's my dump." Unexpectedly, she leaned over the countertop to inch her face close to his, suddenly Banzai felt her hand holding onto the bend of his elbow. "It's also a dump with an upstairs room…"
"Eh-heh, maybe not quite yet." He lifted her hand of his arm politely. "'Cause ya see, me n'-"
"Shenzi." She abruptly cut in, tired of simply being referred to as "his friend" over and over again.
"Yeah uh, we got a situation on our hands. We were wonderin' if you could help out." He slid his hand onto Mawnda's, who gave Shenzi a skeptical glance, before turning to him.
"I could see what I can do." She smiled, tracing shapes on his hand with her thumb.
"Someone broke into our house and robbed us." He said. Mawnda laughed.
"You two must be outta town; that's not uncommon around here."
"Well, we heard this was the roughest part 'a town, and thought maybe the guy, or girl, hung around here." Shenzi cut in. Mawnda immediately scowled at her.
"I haven't left this counter all day."
"Then maybe you seen somethin'." The matriarch scowled back.
"I'm a bartender: I see a lot of things. Creeps and weirdo's come in here day in and day out: like you said, this is the roughest part 'a town."
"Y'know what was taken from us could be worth a lotta cash; maybe if your booze wasn't so crappy, you wouldn't need it to bail this dump out!"
"Say that to my face!" The two would've immediately leapt for each other's throats, had Banzai not stepped in.
"Ladies, ladies! C'mon, we're all hyenas here." He glanced at Mawnda but gestured his hand towards Shenzi. "She's just a little on edge 'cause we got robbed when we first got here."
Then Banzai looked at Shenzi with a wink. "Now I'm sure Mawnda's innocent, bet she's even got proof she was here all day."
With an expectant smirk, he turned back to the bartending female to anticipate an uncomfortable look from her, in which case she'd make up some unlikely story, until eventually having no choice but to confess. Instead, taking his smirk as a gesture that he was on her side, she half-simpered and turned to a small TV on the back of the bar. Surprising the both of them, she pushed a button on the set to play a video-recording of that day. It was slightly fuzzy and the playback was black-and-white, but there she was, bartending the building from 5 am to this time.
Smirking, Mawnda turned back when the tape was over, and gave Shenzi an "I told you so", look. Banzai paused for a moment, until clearing his throat, looking at the matriarch and saying, "…See? Toldja she had proof."
She merely narrowed her eyes at him and got up from the barstool, sloppily laying the money next to her drink. He arose as well and glanced back at their hostess.
"Well, thanks a lot; we gotta get goin'."
"Feel free to come back," Mawnda started, before glaring at Shenzi, "when you're alone."
"Well, that was a waste 'a time." The now annoyed matriarch stated as the two made their way back to their house. Banzai seemed to be fumbling in his jacket pocket. "What're you doing?"
"I think she slipped somethin' into my wallet." He answered, until he pulled out a folded paper. After reading his expression once he opened it, Shenzi didn't need to guess what it was before he said, "…Her number."
The frustrated female put a paw to her chin, trying to think. "…Maybe, we misread that letter. Maybe someone else took the body and wanted ta frame her."
"…Think the college kids you mentioned took it?" Banzai speculated.
"Nah, where they gonna keep a dead guy?"
"If I know college dudes, they took it for kicks. Either that or they're so broke on cash for food they're eatin' it."
Shenzi glanced at her watch, it was almost 5 pm; they'd agreed to bring proof of the kill to that wealthy lion at 6:30. She pondered for a moment, before sighing reluctantly. "We got nothin' to lose."
A few minutes later…
"…Well, on the plus side, we got to see a human body dissected instead of some frog's." Banzai offered. After checking out yet another false lead, the two were unenthusiastically returning home to search their house again. Shenzi was gritting her teeth in aggravation.
"That trip was a half-hour waste of our time! That gung-ho lion is expectin' us to bring proof that 'is business rival is 6 feet under, in an HOUR! And we got no leads to- …Banzai, you even listenin' ta me?"
The male didn't answer, his eyes were fixated on something behind her. Not knowing whether to be confused or annoyed, Shenzi meekly decided that he wasn't going to play attention unless whatever he was looking at vanished. So turning around, she checked to see what he was so fascinated in…just in time to see Kamau break in through their back door.
Not bothering to even glance at one another to speculate that this could be another lead, the two took to their heels, racing toward their house. Shenzi hopped the fence and barely had enough time to unlock the back gate for Banzai, to see Kamau make his way through their kitchen. Quickly the matriarch grabbed the doorknob and shook it violently, but it wouldn't budge. Desperate to get to the bottom of this, Shenzi kicked the door open.
The two burst through the doorway, startling Kamau who'd spun around upon hearing the door break open. Shenzi pointed in his direction as Banzai reached into his jacket pocket. "Don't move!" She ordered.
Being the smart male he was, Kamau wisely backed against the wall, his hands in the air. Shenzi and Banzai approached him threateningly.
"No need to get hostile." He calmly explained.
"You break into my house, and you're tellin' me not to be hostile?" Shenzi spoke. "Why're you here anyway?"
At that question, Kamau's usual collected manner, dissolved into narrowed eyes and a curled lip. "Why don't you ask Ed?"
Puzzled, the two residents of the house exchanged glances. "Whaddya mean 'ask Ed'?" Banzai demanded.
"Abeni came up to me the other day. Apparently he-" Kamau's sentence was broken off as a large, foreign object struck him firmly in the back of the skull. He fell to the tile floor, unconscious. Stunned, both hyenas glanced up to see what hit him…it turned out to be who.
Ed stood in the middle of the doorway, an iron pot in his hand. He glanced down at the knocked-out Kamau, before smiling up at his friends, as if he'd done a good job.
"ED!" Banzai shouted, causing the other male to flinch away, "WHY'D YOU DO THAT?! We were this close to a-"
"Let's take care 'a that later Banzai." Shenzi put a hand in front of him. Setting her hands on her hips, she gave Ed a suspicious look. "What'd he mean by ask you why he broke in?"
Ed just tilted his head and gave a shrug. Shenzi examined him up and down, appearing unsure about something. Innocently, the youngest male of the group gave a whine as he put the pan down. By the look in his eyes, the other two hyenas assumed he thought he was supposed to knock out Kamau, since he did break in and all. And on the other paw, how was he to know it was even Kamau that broke in? His back was turned when he hit him.
Deciding to let it go, Banzai shrugged and put his gun back. Shenzi took her hands off her hips, but looked back at the now damaged back door. She quickly looked back at Ed.
"Ed," at her voice he quickly perked up in attention, "help Banzai put the door back on its hinges. I gotta make a phone call."
Ed nodded while Banzai sighed, and began digging in drawers in search of tools. Unexpectedly, Ed brought a large toolbox in front of his face. Blinking in surprise, he slowly grasped the handle, and the two made their way to the door.
Meanwhile, Shenzi waited until they were out of ear shot, before quickly grabbing the cordless and stealthily going upstairs. Locking her bedroom door behind her, she dialed a nearby resident's number. She put the receiver to her ear and after 2 rings a female's voice answered.
"Shenzi? What is it? If it's Gituku Kamau can't get him right now, he's out for the day."
"I know, I just caught 'em tryin' to break into my house!"
"He said Ed was the reason and you were mentioned too."
A heavy sigh was heard over the other end. "Oh no…"
"What?" Shenzi demanded.
"Ed came up to me the other day about…something, and I didn't like how he approached me about it. I was still uncomfortable the next day so I told Kamau, and then one thing led to another and I haven't seen him since this morning. I never imagined he'd go to your house."
"What'd Ed talk to you about?"
"I…I can't say. If I did there'd be a lot of things at stake, besides you wouldn't believe me anyway."
No answer came from Abeni that time, impatient, Shenzi firmly spoke into the receiver.
"Abeni, if you don't tell me what happened now, I'll come over there and find out myself."
"…Ed, Ed is…Ed is not who you think he is. He told me about it while we were dating. …He told me perfectly."
"Whadda you mean? Why do you keep sayin' he told you? Ed can't talk. …Abeni? …Abeni!" No reply, and unexpectedly the matriarch found there was no longer a connection. Baffled, she tried to redial the number, but there wasn't even a dial tone. Wary, she decided to run downstairs for Banzai; a bad feeling was growing in her about this. She put down the phone and fled out of her room, her steps thumping as she raced down the stairs.
"Banzai? Banzai!" She called out her friend's name, but when she reached the kitchen, both Banzai and Ed were gone. Past distrustful at this point, she turned to escape through the open front door, but just as she reached the inside rug visitors wiped their feet on, Ed suddenly appeared as he slammed the front door from his hiding place behind it. A strange, creepy grin was on his face.
Shenzi backed up and reached for her handgun…when she bumped into something from behind. …Make that someone, Banzai struggled in the binds tying him to the chair. Shenzi whirled her head back to face Ed, only to meet face-first with a damp cloth, and then everything faded to black…
When Shenzi awoke, her head was tilted down, so the first thing she noticed were her feet, ankle-deep in cement. Eyes enlarging, she snapped her head upward… to stare right into the face of Ed. Well, at least the face did belong to Ed, but it was clear that the hyena she knew was not the same one she was staring at. Ed leaned closer, causing her to move her head away; it was then she realized her arms were tied behind her in a chair…their convertible's chair. Looking to her side, she saw Banzai in the passenger's seat, glaring at Ed. Cautiously turning her head back to look at was once her friend, what would happen next would be the most shocking experience of her life.
"Feeling better, I trust?" Ed spoke. Ed spoke.
Shenzi's jaw dropped, unable to think. Ed continued to grin and chuckled at her reaction.
"Surprised? Then I've hid my secret effectively."
Gaining her ability to soak this in, the female chewed on what she was seeing, and what little Abeni informed her, just before Ed caught her jaw before it hit the floor. He simply rejoined it with her upper lip and let go. Observing her surroundings, the matriarch saw they were in the junkyard…their car in the compactor. Ed, she noticed, was standing outside her door.
"No need to be embarrassed; Banzai reacted in the same manner, the only distinction being you never tried to hit me with a bal peen."
"H-h…How?" Was all Shenzi could get out.
"How can Ed the local idiot be verbalizing to you in perfect English this minute?" He finished for her.
Ed chuckled once more, and began pacing in front of them. Shenzi noticed Banzai kept his glare on him, stopping only to give her a concerned glance, before glowering again.
"Simple, really. As a young adolescent, I discovered by accident, that I was as perfectly speech-enabled as any other hyena, perhaps moreso."
"By accident?" Shenzi cut in.
"He hit 'is head." Banzai humorlessly explained. This time Ed returned the sour look he was giving him.
"Must you always ruin the best part?" He then looked back at his tied-up matriarch. "I was running and it was a singularly rainy day; I slipped and my cranium made harsh impact on a rock. At that precise moment I cried out in pain, but as I shouted, the livid words I meant to speak, actually reverberated from my vocal chords, in perfect English.
"Being the young male I was, at first I was amazed at my newly discovered talent. And of course being in a relationship at the time, the first thing I did was find my love, Abeni, and inform her, in flawless words and sentences, what had happened to me."
"…That's why she-" Shenzi stopped talking once noticing Ed grinning again.
"She was in high spirits for me, and why not? She loved me. The first thing I wanted to do was scream this out to the world, to prove that I was not the blithering idiot every living being thought I was, to show I was as intellectually capable as the most brilliant…to exact revenge upon those who repeatedly tormented me…"
"So, what's this got to do with you confrontin' Abeni like Kamau told us, before you knocked him out?"
"Yeah, what were you tryin' to hide?!" Banzai demanded.
"When I told Abeni I had thoughts of vengeance, she became strongly disagreeing. What ensued was a severe quarrel, that eventually led to if I wanted to keep my ability to talk, revenge could not be in the mix. And so," he grinned smugly, "I recurred the actions which caused my speech abilities in the first place. We never spoke of it again."
Shenzi tilted her head. "So how'd you get it back?"
"C'mon Shenzi, it's Ed, the guy can't go two seconds without hittin' his head." Banzai spoke up.
"Ahh, but never in a specific place with a meticulous amount of force. While you left to go check on the car I…occupied myself with…" He seemed reluctant to finish, so Banzai cut in.
"He was knockin' his head against the table because a FLY was knockin' against the ceiling light!"
"And at that moment," Ed loudly started, clearly annoyed by the other male's interruptions, "my spectacular knowledge returned to me! And with a benefit: Abeni and I were no longer, so there was no one to stand in my way. The only problem, was that I'd never be taken seriously in this town, due to my long-winded status as an imprudent fool. I had to get out of town.
"My first priority, was causing a distraction so no one would notice I'd slipped out of town. The false leads, Kamau's unexpected visit, the incident with the car: all my doing.
"Soon I began sharpening my… frightfully advanced intellect, learning all sorts of ways to use each aspect of every day life to my advantage. I followed many principles used by the mentors I had chosen–heinous men who were almost as criminally brilliant as I: Luciano, Manson, Hitler, and of course our old bi-polar-stricken cohort, Scar."
"Isn't Hitler kinda ironic? I mean, me n' Shenzi went to your barmitzvah-"
"So you're sayin' that hit to the head knocked somethin' loose?" Shenzi inquired.
"Precisely: and to this day I have never swatted another fly."
Shenzi stared off for a moment, trying to take all this in. Until all of a sudden, a familiar event that occurred that day raised a flag inside her mind, and she accusingly darted her gaze toward Ed.
"YOU dragged off our kill!" She yelled.
"You'll be happy to know I already delivered the proof that lion needed to know his competitor was dead. So that saves you one less worry." He grinned.
"Yeah." Banzai skeptically said, taking note of their unwilling presence in a car in a compactor.
"The monetary reward for that body would more than cover what I needed to begin anew. I couldn't have such a large sum parted three ways; that would mean another extended period of pretending to be in the dark about anything with more than three letters until I received enough. I was tired of waiting…"
"So, wait…while you were talkin' to the lion, Abeni saw you! Otherwise you wouldn't 'a confronted her! You threatened her from out of the blue to keep her quiet!" Shenzi concluded.
"Sure you're supposed to be the smart one of the group?" Ed cynically replied.
"Wait a minute," Banzai interrupted, "…Where the heck is T in all this?!"
Promptly, both stared at who was once their friend demandingly. He simply grinned that evil smirk and glanced at Shenzi, "I forged your handwriting and told her you needed her to do some errands in your absence. Now if you'll excuse me…"
To Shenzi and Banzai's horror, Ed moved to the compactor's controls, and after pressing a few buttons, the convertible in which they were in began crumpling before their very eyes. Ed kept that grin.
"Hate to run but, T'll worry if I don't give you two an alibi for your absence." The next thing they saw him do was slip through the gap in the fence, right before they violently struggled to free themselves. Shenzi glanced back in her struggling, and much to her horror, the trunk was already pressing against the back seat's edge.
"I'm home!" T shouted when she first walked through the door, paper bags in her hands. Closing the door with her foot behind her, she glanced up to see Ed smiling at her naively from the stairway. She returned the friendly gesture, "Hey Ed. Can you give me a hand here?"
He nodded and took one of the bags, following her into the kitchen like he normally would. Just as he began putting away the food stuffs, he noticed T absentmindedly glancing outside. He raised an eyebrow.
"…Y'know," She said, "there's a murder at the junkyard."
Ed froze, now hoping with all his might that T hadn't seen anything so he wouldn't have to kill her. He calmed himself, turning to her and pretending to be completely clueless of what she'd said. But T pointed straight out the window, leading down the sidewalk to the same place he left-
"Those crows." She spoke. Ed stared: now truly perplexed.
T looked absentmindedly out the glass pane. "Did you know that humans call a group of crows a 'murder'? It's like they gotta associate with blood n' guts 24/7. Anyway, something's going on to make all those crows gather there. Wonder what…"
Ed blinked and, laughing like always, shrugged.
A few minutes later…
"So Ed, do you know where Shenzi and Banzai are?" T casually asked, kneeling by a low shelf as she put away canned goods.
"Oh, some place they can't be a bother." Came her answer.
…A can of seasoning mix hit the floor, and slowly, incomprehensively, T stood up to look at Ed…and see him grinning eerily.
"…H-How…Ed…?" She could barely speak. He threw back his head and laughed, but not at all like the way he normally did. This mirth was unfamiliar, strange, evil.
"Oh how the reactions never steer from a general emotion: dumbstruck."
"What happened to you?" She asked.
"Hmmm, nothing that hadn't already." He casually replied.
"…I don't understand."
"Of course you don't. Nobody did. Shenzi and Banzai wouldn't have either. …So I decided not to waste my time explaining it to them." He grinned at her, sending a wave of fright down the young female's spine.
"But, since you obviously are so different from Shenzi and Banzai, I suppose I could make one exception." Ed revealed all he had told Shenzi and Banzai just before he left them for dead. T was speechless, but was shocked beyond all rational thought when he told her what had become of their friends.
"And now I'm going to have to leave town to start a new life of intellectual-gained paradise. Shame though, I expected you of all others to at least notice signs."
"…S-so why am I finding out now?!" T demanded.
"You didn't read the rest of the book, did you?" Ed tsk-tsked.
T stared at him strangely, before noticing a familiar-looking psychology manual on a desk nearby. Warily keeping her gaze on Ed, she took it into her hands and began to read where she left off.
However, when angry, the stomach does the exact opposite. Acid production increases, and ravenous eating behaviors ensue. The saliva glands flow…
She slowly glanced up and, not knowing whether to be paralyzed with fright or made immobile with disgust, saw Ed's fangs dripping as he grinned wickedly. The young female tried her best not to show fear, but her claws dug into the book cover, leaving small indentions.
"…What're you going to do?" She said.
His grin did not waver as he slowly began to approach her. "In order to succeed by means of my criminal genius, this veiled state of knowledge must be kept as such; I can't risk that news traveling to my new home. Aside from Abeni, and as of a few days ago Kamau, there is only one other who knows of my verbal capabilities. Fortunately in all my experience as a hitman has taught me, I know just how that little problem can be taken care of…"
T instinctively took a step back as Ed now began to advance with hostility, eerily smiling the entire time. The adolescent hyena was almost too frightened to move, and dug her claws deeper into the book cover… suddenly, she realized the psychology manual was still in her grasp. Quickly she averted her gaze to the stairs, and then the distance between her, Ed, and said stairs. She glanced at the heavy, thick book she was clutching; it was a long shot, but it was a risk she had to take. Thinking on her feet, coupled with her instinct for survival, she hurled the book at Ed.
"GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Ed ducked just as the cover firmly bumped into his shoulder, then looked back up just in time to see T fleeing up the stairs. He shook his head, chuckling sinisterly, before following her.
"Now really T, cooperate and this will be less painful for the both of us."
T ran to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her, quickly locking it. Knowing that wouldn't hold him, she heaved her bed in front of it. Then she set to prying open her window, but much to her horror, it was nailed shut from the outside.
The next thing she heard was repeated blows to her door by some unknown object. What terrorized her was when she found out it was an ax. Before long she saw a hole large enough, formed by all the gashes, to show Ed's face.
"Here's Eddy!" He cackled, before unlocking the door and easily pushing it, and the bed, out of his way. He raised the ax over his shoulder, T backing against her bedroom window. She saw the blade glint against her ceiling light, a fly repeatedly banging itself against it, as if oblivious it was witnessing a to-be murder.
T clenched her eyes shut and let out a petrified scream, just before a body fell to the ground…
T slowly peeled her eyes open; the first thing she noticed was Ed's unconscious body, a huge bump on his forehead. Looking up, her eyes enlarged once seeing Shenzi holding the blue psychology manual, Banzai beside her.
"He…he said you were…"
"We know." Banzai cut in. The image of blood running down his cheek and glass in his clothes was not lost on her, nor was the chunks of cement on Shenzi's feet.
"Just be thankful you don't look as bad as us." She told her.
"…So, all we have to do is just badger him ruthlessly every so often?" T inquired.
"Yes," the doctor explained, "so as not raise his confidence levels high enough to risk the possibility of this ever happening again. Head injuries are clearly not unusual with this man, but inspire his inner beast and you're in for a world of danger."
"Lil' late to warn us about that." Shenzi grumbled.
"Simply ridicule him on a regular basis, just not more than what he could expect," at that, Shenzi and Banzai exchanged glances, "and there should be no more problems.
T looked over at the older hyenas to see what they thought. Shenzi appeared to be gazing at the wall as she pondered this over, Banzai was tapping his foot for awhile, before both hyenas glanced at each other once more, and looked at the doctor.
"Sounds fine to me." Shenzi announced.
"I'm cool with it." Banzai agreed.
Shenzi and Banzai tore wildly at their binds, the car slowly imploding on their bodies. Shenzi tried to lift her feet up while Banzai growled in frustration as he attempted to snap the rope binding his wrists. Suddenly, much to his horror, he felt a large, jagged object pressing into the back of his chair, the same time he heard a loud, metallic whining. Looking back, he saw the trunk was now crumpled and hulking towards them, towering over more and more.
Banzai gaped at the mass of metal, trying to move…before he banged his hand on the glove box. …He banged his hand. Stunned momentarily, the male darted his glance down at his hands, pieces of rope dangling from his wrists, but clearly been cut. Taking to time to realize it was the jagged metal, still gashing into his chair, he lunged from his seat to aide Shenzi. First he cut her ropes as well, before trying to lift her over the door, but the gap between their bodies and the windshield was decreasing by the second, and the cement on her feet didn't help things.
As a last resort, Banzai bent down and lifted her feet-first, pushing her out at the last minute. Shenzi hit the hard, greasy ground, only to look up just as the trunk touched the tip of their windshield.
"NO!" She screamed to the heavens. She ran to the controls and immediately shut the compactor off, but feared the worst already. Reaching the carnage of their vehicle, she tried to pry open the steel deathtrap.
"BANZAI!" She pounded on his door, unable to open it with the handle broken off. The next thing she heard was shattering glass, and, miraculous, she stared at the sight of her friend, partially wounded, coughing up blood and wiping glass from his mane. Instinctively she ran over to check his wounds.
"I'm fine." He insisted. "Now, ya wanna go see if T's still alive?"
Just then, one of the hospital nurses, a burly-looking woman with a mole on one of her cheeks, came in with Ed being led in by the arm.
"He's all yours." She stated, before going back through the double doors they came out of.
Ed glanced at his three friends, now seeming completely normal, even happy. He gave them a genuine smile, and was about to say something friendly until-
"Hey Ed, the schizophrenic impersonators called: they want you to stop making them look bad." Shenzi abruptly spoke up. T cringed; that insult had enough sting for more than one person. She awaited Ed's reaction, that is, before Banzai unexpectedly, and somewhat roughly, put an arm over his shoulders and said,
"Y'know man, I can only think 'a one difference between a hollow coconut, and your head. …About 20 IQ points!" He then began laughing at his insult, as did Shenzi suite.
T's jaw nearly dropped to the floor; almost in disbelief that these two had called themselves Ed's friends, even it was for his own good. …Though, she knew they were both just looking out for his best at heart, no matter how many burns the verbal abuse gave. Perhaps, not ridiculing him was worse for Ed than it was being kind to him.
Suddenly her head jerked in Ed's direction when she saw a surprised look on his face. Shenzi and Banzai took note of it too, and all three waited for his reaction. The male got a strange look on his face, appearing to muse over what'd been said to him. Then abruptly, a stern look plastered on his facial features, and he looked intently at Shenzi and Banzai. They all, Shenzi, Banzai, the doctor, and T, braced themselves for what he might do…
Ed's head bobbed wildly as he insanely laughed, grabbing onto a table for support, and pounding his fist on it. T stared at him, completely flabbergasted, prior to looking at Shenzi and Banzai; their expressions were not much different than hers.
Glancing back at Ed, he was still cackling; how his lungs could take it was a true wonder. T cocked her head, almost bowled over at his reaction to the supposed insults. Then, absentmindedly, she said to herself, but in a tone everyone else could hear,
"Well they weren't really that funny. …I guess Ed'll laugh at anything."
Shenzi raised a brow, Banzai examined his claws; both turned to say something in agreements with that, until a small whimpering reached their ears.
All three took in the sight of Ed's face, no longer the once joyful expression it'd been a moment ago—his eyes were now watering, his ears drooped down to his neck, his mouth crinkled in a pitiable frown, and he stared directly at T.
The young hyena didn't know what to think, until he suddenly burst into tears and ran from the mental hospital. All three turned back and stared at the double doors swinging in and out, mouths agape. The doctor, as if entirely oblivious, fervently scribbled onto a clipboard, then ripped a form off, putting it in Shenzi's hand.
Momentarily taking her gaze off the exit to the institute, Shenzi glanced down at the form in her grasp…
"…WHAT?! YOU CHARGE ME THAT MUCH JUSTA KEEP 'IM FOR A DAY?!"
Banzai and T quickly dodged to safer areas as the irate matriarch stormed through the facility and right to the doctor's office. Nurses, assistants, and other staff were running and panicking everywhere.
"SECURITY!" A small brunette nurse cried as Shenzi shoved her out of the way to get through the hall.
The same burly nurse with a mole on her cheek forcefully ran after her, proceeding to tackle her to the ground. While everyone else was busy watching the violent struggle, T and Banzai cautiously emerge from the place they'd ran for cover in; the bathroom. Banzai warily stepped around the fight and picked up the form Shenzi threw down earlier; he blinked.
"Well, it's less than what it cost to hide Gituku's body."
"Huh?" T looked at him strangely. Banzai's eyes quickly darted around the room.
I apologize for the very late update. But I hope it was scary enough for you. Tearthgrrl, out.