I know that you have read these stories over and over again, please just give it a chance. I wrote this story months and months ago. I am still writing it. I have up to ch.25 written. so please give it a chance, I am updating often! thanks!
"Bella", Jacob said softly behind me.
He hadn't left when I thought he had. I sniffled and he realized that I was crying. Jacob's expression was unsure and at the same time… depressed.
He slowly walked up to me, stopping at the edge of my feet. He took his hand and put it under my chin, tipping it up (way, way up) so I looked into his eyes. He lowered his head and our eyes were on the same level.
"That was my fault, sorry. I broke our promise again, didn't I?" a short smile broke across his face, not touching his eyes.
"It's okay; I'm the one who started it this time. I should be the one to be sorry…. Sorry." I spoke the last word softly, not sure he even heard it.
"Me too. I don't know why it caught me so off guard… why it bothered me so much. I knew how you felt about the blo- them; it shouldn't have… perturbed me so much. But she'll be gone in a few days, right, and then we'll be back to together."
"Can't I be friends with you both at the same time?"
"No, I'm afraid you can't. I wish."
"But you'll wait, right? You'll still be my friend no matter whom or what I love? You'll keep your promise?"
"Of course, Bella, I don't want to be without you, no matter what!" he caught me in a big bear hug. It still felt a little uncomfortable, being so close to him, it felt more intimate then it should. But at the same time it felt familiar and comforting.
I hesitantly laid my head against his feverish chest and wrapped my arms lightly around his waist. My arms didn't even reach around all the way. He leaned his cheek down on my head and sniffed.
"What!" I exclaimed as I pulled away dropping my arms to my sides.
"You smell awful, like them. It makes my stomach twist. And the smell burns my nose, its sickly sweet." His nose twisted in dislike.
"I don't smell, I swear! Alice did the same thing to me earlier!" I felt him tense and begin to quiver beside me, but quickly stopped.
"You do, but it's bearable. Just make sure to take a shower before you come to see me again." He grinned, to show me that he was joking.
"Well you both smell fine to me." I leaned back in and buried my head into his chest.
I didn't want him to leave; I would miss him so much when left again. Who knew how long it would be till I saw him again. It could be days or weeks. But I would die when Alice left. I wonder if I could get her to come to visit again, soon. Even though it would mean leaving Jacob alone for a little while, I needed to see Alice again too. What a mess!
"I'll miss you every second I'm away from you," Jacob whispered in my ear, almost answering my thoughts.
"Me too, you have no idea."
"I do actually," Jacob mumbled.
"It doesn't have to be this way, you know." There must be some way to work this out. They could get along, it couldn't be that hard.
"Yes… yes it does. I can't get near her, there would be too much of a chance of someone getting hurt."
I flinched at that idea and made my self not dwell on that idea. He freed an arm from around my waist and rested it on my cheek. We stared into each other eyes for what seemed like hours. Then all of a sudden an idea seemed to dawn across his face.
He hesitantly moved his other hand on my flushed cheek, trapping my face between his strong, warm hands.
I knew exactly what would follow and I froze. With his left hand he stroked my cheek and down my neck, resting it at the base. It felt like it belonged there.
He whispered softly whispered my name, barely audible to me, "Bella."
I hadn't made this decision yet! I didn't know if I could, yet. Didn't we just have this discussion a few days ago, when he tried to kiss me! But it felt right this time. He could be my Jacob; I could show him I felt the same way he did. I couldn't reject him, again, but I didn't know if I was ready, so soon.
The prince was never coming back to kiss awake from my enchanted sleep. I was not a princess after all. So what was the fairy tale protocol for other kisses? Maybe it would be easy-like holding his hand or having his arms around me like now. But it very well could also feel like betray.
"Bella?" He whispered to me again, disturbing me from my train of thought.
"This is going to sound corny or maybe more stupid, but… can I … kiss you? Or are you still not ready?"
I stood there, frozen, not sure how to answer. It seemed like minutes and the atmosphere was tense.
Finally I had my answer. "I… think you can… I'm okay… I would love you to."
He smiled hugely. Slowly, still hesitantly began to bend his face toward me. I still had doubts, but I didn't pull away, I too leaned forward.
Then we both hit noses. He chuckled as he leaned back a little. All I could think was, how embarrassing!
"I'm sorry." I said softly.
"Ya, sorry too." He whispered back.
"Would you like to try that again?" he asked calmly.
I just nodded. "Stay still this time, okay!" he commanded. I just smiled.
Then for the second time he bent his face to mine. The moment our lips meet all doubts were gone. The way his warm lips toughed mine was unfamiliar but it felt so right. There was a spark and I lost all train of thought. I was not sorry, yet.
Our kiss deepened and he dropped his arms around me lower and pulled me closer. I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck to pull me up closer. My fingers gripped into his silky hair.
He started to push me toward the table, still kissing. My knees all of a sudden gave out when they hit the table. I fell backwards with my back landing on the table and Jacob leaned down to keep kissing me, but he didn't put his weight on me. My head hit the table with a thud and knocked over the plastic salt shaker.
We both chuckled into each others mouths while still kissing deeply. He ran his hands through my hair, and they followed a trail down my sides making me shiver.
That's when there was a delicate cough behind us. We both released each other and stood up straight up, looking extremely embarrassed that we were caught. I bit my lip and flushed a new color.
Alice stood behind us, staring at us, wide eyed. She looked like she was trying to hold back a giggle, but also looked hurt. I raced over to her, but stopped in the middle of the kitchen, separate the two enemies.
"Alice, back so soon." My voice cracked, not helping.
"Well, actually I've been gone almost a half an hour. I would have come back earlier, but I thought I would give you a little more time. Apparently you need a little more. I will be back in twenty minutes."
She leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. While whispering in my ear, "As you were." She was gone in a flash, a slight breeze fluttering my hair around the twist of my neck.
I groaned. Why did she have to see the future when it came to these things? Saving my life, yes, while I making out with Jacob, NO!!
We were now on opposite ends of the kitchen, looking awkwardly at the tan-tiled floor. Then I felt Jacob's gaze boring into my head. From the corner of my eye I saw him walking toward me.
He had one hand on my waist and the other placed gently on my cheek, rubbing circles around my blush.
"So?" I asked quietly, still refusing to meet his anxious gaze.
He was silent for a moment then he spoke suddenly. "So… where were we?"
"Oh, but before… we start again…" he dragged me over to the table and sat down in a chair. He picked me up - by the tops of my arms like a small child- and set me down on his lap sideways.
"You don't think Charlie will interrupt us, will he?" He laughed softly as he spoke.
"I don't think so, but Jared or Embry might. You have been in here for a very long time." I replied giggling also.
He ignored that and turned my face so that I was looking into his very excited eyes. He leaned in and I kissed his warm lips.
Our kiss deepened again, before he pulled away. His lips lingering on mine, not able to pull away.
"I should probably go to the funeral now. We left very early because I knew I was stopping here. But now we should probably be right on time. I know you weren't coming before, but if you like to come, I'll give you a ride?"
"If have just recently forgotten, Jared and Embry are waiting in your car, probably thinking you got lost in here."
"It's my car though, who said I couldn't kick them out and make them run."
I giggled at that. "I'll pass."
I was still sitting on his lap, about to get up, but he tightened his arms around me and kissed me again, briefly.
"I really should go now."
"I am extremely surprised that Jared or Embry haven't interrupted us yet."
"That's because I told them to stay in the car or else."
I stared at his face for a moment. He looked sad. I ran my fingers across his cheek and they softened underneath my touch.
"I'll visit you tomorrow, I promise." I whispered, still drawing patterns with my fingers across his face.
"What about the bloodsucker?" he asked almost to quiet for me to hear.
"Alice, can live without me for a day, she won't mind." I hope at least. She wouldn't actually stop me from seeing Jacob.
He picked me up and set me on my feet. He kissed me one last time, pulling back slightly to look into my eyes, searching for any doubts. He found none.
He dropped his hand reluctantly as he took backwards steps adding space between us gradually.
"I'll see you tomorrow, I can't wait. Remember that shower." He waved as he spoke.
"Ha, ha!" then he was out of the room and I heard the door quietly close this time.
Before I could even blink, Alice stood in front of me, giggling quietly, "So," she giggled.
Please Review! I love to hear your comments, the next ch. should be up soon!