hThe Little Mermaid, Harry Potter Style

Roles:

Ariel-Harry

Prince Eric-Ginny, not related to Ron in this

Ursula-Lord Voldemort

Flotsam and Jetsam-Lucius Malfoy and Yaxley

King Triton-James Potter

Sebastian and Flounder-Ron and Hermione

The Trident-the Elder Wand

The Chef-Mantano (my only original character, added for the comedy)

This story takes place so that Harry, on land, falls in love with Ginny, the mermaid. I pretty much just swapped land with sea because I find it hard to picture it the other way around. This began when I got a mental image of Voldemort singing "Poor Unfortunate Souls" and from there it just snowballed.

Disclaimer: I own neither the Little Mermaid nor Harry Potter, though I wish I did. Almost all the jokes are mine, though.

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Harry Potter was walking down the beach when he saw a storm coming. He hid behind a rock until the very brief storm blew over. When he looked out from behind it, he saw in shock that a mermaid was lying on the beach, apparently knocked out. Harry whipped out his wand and levitated the mermaid back into the sea. Just as she began to wake up, he turned tail and ran. She caught nothing more than a brief glimpse of her rescuer.

Ginny, as the mermaid was called, went back down to her undersea home. She told her parents about her mysterious rescuer. Merpeople knew little of humans, you see, so her parents could offer no help. She went to bed that night dreaming of that handsome human boy.

Harry went to bed wanting to learn all that he could about mermaids. The next day, he began collecting things about mermaids and keeping them in his closet. His two best friends, Hermione and Ron followed him there one day when they saw him carrying a book on mermaids. When they got there, they were amazed.

Harry then told them the story of this mermaid and explained that was why he was trying to learn about them.

Harry said, "You guys have to keep this a secret from dad, he hates mermaids."

Ron replied, "Don't worry, your secret is safe with us. Right Hermione? Hermione?"

But Hermione had gone. A few minutes later, King James Potter, Harry's dad, burst into the huge closet. He raged when he saw what his son had been collecting. He raised his Elder Wand and blasted the place to pieces around Harry and Ron.

King James yelled at the top of his voice, "Darn you boy! Haven't I always told you that mermaids are evil!"

"But dad…"

"No buts, I'm smashing all of this stuff!" James continued destroying Harry's treasures with his Elder Wand. When it was all destroyed, he disappeared in a brief flash.

Voldemort had been watching all of this with his crystal ball.

"Finally, here is a chance to get revenge for my banishment all those years ago! King James will regret what he did! Lucius, Yaxley! Come here right now! No listen boys, here's how the plot will play out…"

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A few minutes later Lucius and Yaxley appeared in Harry's room, where he had been crying really hard.

"Poor child" said Lucius.

"Poor sweet child" said Yaxley.

"He's got a very serious problem."

"If only…"

"There were something…"

Both, "We could do."

Lucius said, "But wait, there is something!"

Harry said, "What? What could you do?"

Yaxley said, "Voldemort might be able to help you."

Harry started, "You mean that wizard Daddy banished a long time ago?"

Lucius smoothly preened, "Yes, the very same."

Harry suspiciously said, "The same one that used Black Magic to kill Mommy and tried to overthrow Daddy? That Voldemort? You expect me to go to him for help?!!!"

Yaxley silkily stated, "He's changed, my sweet child. Besides, what have you got to lose?"

Lucius grinned, "And you have true love to gain."

Both sang, "Sweet child. Poor child. Sad child. We'll take you to his lair right now. Bet in half a sec, your mermaid and you are reconciled. Together. Forever"

"Take me to him!"

"Heh heh heh. Sweet child."