Welcome to the fourth edition of Guess the Author. I am your humble host, Jason "Zaratan" Jones, and I come to you 11 tales from a wide variety of authors to dazzle your senses.

Yvj won last time, oh so long ago, so this intriguing topic, soap opera, is all his doing. On the other hand, it looks like a LOT of people had a lot of fun with this one.

The rules are simple. Read through all the stories, and then try to guess which of our amazing authors wrote that particular story. Write out your responses to me, Zaratan, by either PM or by email at zaratan4 at hotmail dot com, and the one closest, getting the most correct, wins and gets to select our next contest topic.

And now, for our list of authors, in alphabetical order;




Gray Cardinal

Joe Stoppinghem




Scoutcraft Piratess



Remember, match as many stories as you can with these authors, happy reading, and good luck to you all!

…x x x x…

Loose Lips 2

In Ron's bedroom

As the two teens sat on Ron's bed, one red head was staring angrily at the blond headed teenage boy.

"Anne who, Ron? Anne Notter in Latin class?"

"No KP, I said, er, I mean I was trying to say. Oh and I love being with you KP."


"What? You think I would have a crush on someone else when you and I have just begun being..."

"Being BF and GF?"

"Yea, I have done dumb things KP, I mean some really dumb things."

"Like, losing 99 million dollars."

"Ah yea."

"Not knowing Tara had a crush on you."

"Yea, that too."

"Oh, and..."

"Not helping. I mean, come on KP, why would I, or any intelligent living, breathing guy at my age throw away what I have with you. We are the best buds, we already know our weirdnesses, and yet we still stick to each other. Why would I have a crush on someone else."

Kim waited a minute, either to let what Ron said sink in, or to see if Ron would break down and say what the sitch really was.

She leaned toward him, giving a hug. "Oh Ron, I'm sorry. It just sounded like you said 'Oh Anne', and I thought you were thinking of someone else while you were with me."

"Yea, heh, heh, that could be a funny alright. Me, crushing on someone else." While they continued the hug, a worried look started to appear on his face.

Back at the home front

"James what are you going on about?"

"Well, you and Ron, dinner, here?"

"James, I said 'Go on,' Not 'Oh Ron.' If you're saying I was thinking of someone else when you're with me tonight..."


It was the evening in the Stoppables' home.

"You know you don't have to act with me, Ron".

The red head came closer to him.

"You don't have to say anything, and you don't have to do anything." She sat down next to him on the couch. "Not a thing... Oh, maybe just whistle."

Now, being so close that he can feel her breath on his face. "You know how to whistle, don't you, Ron?"

Their lips were almost touching.

"You just put your lips together and... blow."

"AAAAHHH!" Ron snapped straight up on his bed. Looking around he could see he was not in the living room with her, Anne, Kim's mom. Why, oh why was he having that kind of dream about her? It was 3:10 AM and he was scared out of his mind. What made things worse, he couldn't call the the person he needed to talk to. Dropping back in bed, Ron stared at the ceiling, not falling to sleep until 6:15. And getting up at 6:30? Oh the pain.

The rest of Monday morning came and went. He felt he had to keep things normal, nothing could appear unusual. So, as always, Ron stopped by the Possibles to head off to school with Kim. Fortunately, Anne was off to the hospital before Ron arrived. Ron could sense there was something wrong with Mr. Dr. P, but was either too afraid to say anything, or for once his instincts were doing their job.

All during Monday Kim could tell something was bothering Ron, but she couldn't figure out what it was. Later that evening Anne called Ron at his house.

"Ron, I think we need to meet and discuss what happened last Saturday night."

"Well, where is a safe place?" he asked.

"How about McCorkle's?"

"Nope, too close to Cow and Chow, someone could see us there."

"How about Schooley's It's a sit down restaurant. If someone sees us we can just tell them I'm helping you plan a gift for Kim for your halfiversary"

Ron had a real puzzled look on his face. "Half a what?"

"Oh, Kim has been talking about that. To celebrate going out for six months."

"But we haven't been going out for six months."

"Ron, it always pays to plan ahead. You need to save up for the halfiversary..."

Tuesday Evening while both Anne and Ron are traveling to Schooley's

The songs coming up on the radio during Ron's drive to the restaurant weren't setting the best of moods.

"KP's mom has got it goin' on
She's all I want and I've waited for so long
Kimmy, can't you see you're just not the girl for me
I know it might be wrong but I'm in love with KP's mom"


"I'm just the average guy
I fooled around a little on the side
Never thought it would amount to much
Never met a girl whose love was so tough

Who'd have though a one night stand
Could turn into such a hot romance
Mmm, well she did it to me
I slipped and fell in love

I'm in love
(I'm in love)
With the other woman
My life was fine, yes, it was
(Life was fine)
'Til she blew my mind, mmm"


"I'm just a love machine, and I won't work for nobody but you.

Anne isn't having much better luck in her car.

"Torn between two lovers, feeling like a fool

Loving both of you is breaking all the rules..."


"It's a little secret just the Possibles' affair.
Most of all you've got to hide it from the kids.
Koo-koo-ka-choo, Mrs. Possible,
Jesus loves you more than you will know."


"It's not something you can hide away.
Sooner or later it starts to show.
It's written on your face.
You've been betrayed.
Do you really believe.
That I don't know.

I said, baby
You've got a man on your mind.
You got a weight on your shoulders.

(Wait on your shoulders)
How you ever gonna find
The words to say goodbye..."


"I'm just a love machine, and I won'twork for nobody but you..."

Finally, they met at the restaurant, both were seated and had placed their orders.

The silence between them seemed to last longer than detention time with Barkin, until Anne spoke up.

"Ron, you know I'm not in love with you."

"That's a relief. Er, I mean great. Ah..."

She laughed, "I know what you're trying to say. But we have to work this out, so that when Kim and James find out there won't be much damage."

"But nothing happened."

"That night perhaps, but there are lingering effects. You have been on my mind lately," she replied.

"I feel like I cheated on Kim." he said with sadness in his voice.

Anne could not believe the look on his face. She had seen many expressions in her life, as a parent and career as a doctor. The puppy dog pout was a strong "look." But this, this was ten times more powerful. Ron's whole face was sad, downtrodden, he had the look of a broken spirit. His ears, (how was he doing that?) were drooping, the cowlick on the back of his head, had fallen down. His eyes, oh lord those eyes, were now almost two-thirds the size of his face. It reminded her of something when she was a teenager in the 70's... That's it! There were paintings of little kittens in raining streets, sad pathetic little kittens, with the looks like the one which was before her. Ron was giving, was giving..."a Pity Kitty Face." Her heart never went out to someone as much as that moment. If Kim ever went up against this with her Puppy Dog Pout, it would be over in less time than one could say, "and the winner is Pity Kitty Face."

Putting her hand on top of Ron's, Anne said, "Ron, we didn't cheat. We, we...we just got caught up in the moment. I am not going to leave James. This is not a fling. I'm happily, hopelessly, completely in love with my husband. I have three children, and a very wonderful household..."

"You sound like you are trying to convince yourself of something."

"What?" she said with surprise.. The PKF was slowly going away, and she was starting to get her bearings back.

"Whenever I'm undecided, I have to go through a list to see what I need to do."

"Ron, I'm not having trouble with this," she replied with a slight tone in her voice. "There, in control once again," she thought.

"Mrs. Dr. P."

"Ron, please call me Anne."

With a very serious tone in his voice Ron replied, "Sorry, I do not want that name to come from my lips for quite sometime. When Kim and I were together, I said, I said your name out loud."


"What? Eww, not like that. I mean we don't do that much Mrs..."


"OK, I'm going with Doc instead of Anne. Well, after Kim and I stopped 'being close' she said 'Oh Ron' and I said 'Oh Anne.''

"Oh my." Anne covered her lips with her hand, trying to hold back her expression. She did not want another dose of the PKF.

"Well, I was able to talk my way out of sixteen kinds of kung fu. I just told her I was trying to say 'Oh and I love being with you'. Kim, not you. Oh man, none of this is coming out right."

Anne gave her side of the story. "It didn't go well with James either. We were dancing when he got home. When he touched me in a certain way, I said 'Oh Ron.' Soon the old 'I'm getting a space probe...' started. I tried to convince him I said 'Go on, not oh Ron.' But it blew up into a big argument. What could have been a nice evening we haven't had for sometime was stopped cold."

"Sorry about that. I just wished I didn't try to hard to impress you that night, the cooking, the movie..."

Ron, it's OK. You just need to relax. Perhaps both of us do. We're worrying too much. These feelings and thoughts will pass, we just need to give it time. We did nothing wrong, nothing improper..."

"But I wanted to..." he mumbled.


"You kissed me," he interrupted.

"On the cheek, Ron," she tried to explain.

"It was a kiss!"

"Ron keep your voice down. What? What do you mean you wanted to?"

"Doc, you don't understand, Ron Stoppable is not a babe magnet, not a jock, not a hottie. Besides Kim, the most attention I get from women, is from one cheerleader, throwing insults at me at school."

"What about Tara? The one on the squad?"

"What, you knew too? Have you a heart of stone woman? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was pulling for you and Kim to be an item, as you kids say. I knew no one would be better for her than you. Not a babe magnet, not a jock nor hottie. You are loyal, honest and care for her more than anyone will. You face many fears on missions just to protect her. That means a lot to this mother."

Anne waited a minute for the last statement to sink in. Then she continued, "Ron, the other girls at school don't know how romantic you can be. You could be a lady killer if you really set your mind to it, but I also know you are not wired that way. You are a true gentleman, I trust you with my daughter completely. I realize that you are mature enough that you and Kim will not do anything..."

"Are you kidding me?" said Ron, interrupting again. "With my urges! Sometimes a cold shower isn't enough. If Kim didn't know the mad KF, I would be afraid what would happen."

"Ron, you don't just, as you say, 'like her, like her.' It's love, the love most people don't find until in their later years. Your relationship with Kim started backwards: most people fall in love first then become best friends later. You two are very fortunate, this will be one for the books. I hope you realize this."

"Doc, for one moment that night, I did not think of Kim. I really enjoyed being with you, and I didn't want it to end that night." He started to look down at the table.

"Ron, you don't know how that makes this gal feel. That I can still turn a young man's head. We both know nothing is going to happen between us, we just have to get our stories straight.

Once again there was silence at the table. This time Ron spoke first. "In my heart, I cheated on Kim and I've lied to her about it later. I don't deserve her, this will only end bad. I need to break up with her."

"Ron, wait a minute let's talk about-"

Just then Anne's cell phone rang. Ron did not want to listen in, but you know how it is with people and their cell phones.

"What! He knows better than that! Put your brother on the phone... Put your brother on the phone... Put, your, brother, on, the, phone... Do what you want, I don't care." Click. Pinching the bridge of her nose, closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and let it out. Then Anne asked, "What were we talking about?"

"Ah, about what happened our Saturday night together? Oh Kim is so going to blame me for this."

Opening her eyes, she replied, "Ron, relax, this will turn out fine. Did you say you were planning to breakup with Kim? Why?"

"Well, who knows what I'll do if the next pretty face shows up and gives me a little attention."

"Ron, you know that is not going to happen."

"Thanks. Thanks a lot."

"You know what I mean." She was smiling at Ron's response, but quickly turned serious. " You love Kim too much ... I feel this is my fault, I never should have served wine that night."

"No, I shouldn't have tried so hard to impress you; the movie, cooking dinner, and then I asked you to dance with me. I forgot the power of Ronshine."

"I always thought it was a teen thing, but now I know what Kim means about that..." she said with a grin.

"Part of me feels I need to tell Kim about this," Ron continued. "Another feels I can't trust myself and to breakup with her. The biggest part says to use my mad running away skills and run away like a stuck chicken. What are we going to do, Doc?"

"I think we need to give it a little more time so we can have very clear thinking. Telling Kim and James what happened feels like the best solution, but we need to be sure the stories are similar and the proper words are used or this could get ugly."

Later in the week with the teens

Things weren't going much better. Kim knew something was in the air and it wasn't good. As they were leaving Middleton HighKim was once again trying to get him to talk.

"Ron, there is something bothering you and I want to help. So spill."

"Kim, it's just something I have to work out. When I'm ready, I'll talk then."

"Well, I'm just worried. Ever since Saturday night, something has been bothering you. This doesn't have anything to do with..."

That same day

"Doc, I don't know how much long I can do this. I have to tell Kim soon, or it will end with us breaking up."

"Alright Ron, the boys have a scout camping trip this Friday night. We will talk to James and Kim then."

Friday Night in the living room of the Possible house hold

Anne and James are finally talking about what happened that Saturday night and things started out rough but were settling down.

"James, you had better be very careful or else this night will go in a different direction. I've told you everything that happened that Saturday night. I guess it was mostly getting attention from someone who didn't want something in return. For that night, I wasn't a mother, laundress, doctor, or short-order cook. I was...a woman who had a date?" The look on her face was of happiness, since she finally realized what kept Ron on her mind all that time. She hadn't been on a date for a long time.

To James it looked as if Anne was starting to be whisked away thinking on that Saturday night, but she told him the smile was due to her realizing that being on a date was the reason she mentioned Ron's name when he touched her.

James waited for a few seconds knowing if the wrong thing was said the night would be spent on the couch.

"Honey, you know there has never been a situation of jealousy in this house, ever, and there never will be. I'm sorry that I haven't been giving you the attention that you got that night. But I do know this: I want you in my life until we are in our rockers on the back deck, so I can look over at you and still be able to say'I have the most beautiful woman in the world, and have been lucky she chose me.' How about if we set one Saturday night a month for just the two of us going on a date. Maybe even stay at the Middleton Motor Lodge?"

Anne waited a minute, either to let what Jame said sink in, or to see if what James will break down and say what really is the on his mind. Once the time passed, she leaned towards him, giving him the kiss to let him know he will not be sleeping on the couch tonight.

In Kim's room

The conversation between Ron and Kim was going a little better than what was happening downstairs.

"Kim, that night with your Mom... No, n-no, don't look at me that way. OK, I'm going to tell you what happened that night, no matter what the damage."

Kim sat down in chair near her desk while Ron continued.

"Well, I thought I could do something that would really impress your Mom, I would make dinner, perhaps watch a chick flick with you guys. Since one of the ladies from the squad was hurt and the routine had to be redone, it left just your mom and me. It was a little awkward at first, but we decided it would be best for me to stay. We watched Sleepless in Upperton, then I made dinner. The more we talked the more I realized that you and your Mom are quite alike. "

"What! I'm not like my Mom!"

"Riiight.. Anyway, she and I went to the living room and talked some more. KP, I thought I could never have a normal conversation with a woman before. But it was nice, very nice. Well, at this point your Mom mentioned this song playing on the radio, she and James would dance to it a lot. So..."

"You asked to dance with my Mom?"

"It was like the way we have danced in the past Kim. At first, I was afraid I'd step on her foot, ruining the evening, take all my chances away of getting on your Mom's good side. I mean... But then she said "You don't have to be so far away" and pulled me a little closer. I was still doing good too, never stepped on her once. Then I noticed she uses the same shampoo that you do, and it reminded me of you while we danced. Well, after that song was over, we just continued to dance, song after song. Soon, it was time for me to leave. As I was leaving, she ah, she ah..."

"What? What happened Ron?"

"She kissed me," he mumbled.

"She What! You mean.. She... She..."

"What? No-no wait. She kissed me on the cheek. It was on the cheek, KP! You thought, ugh! I mean she is married to your Dad! How could you think that? She is one of the most kind, wonderful, loyal, intelligent, beautiful persons on the earth. Now I know where many of your great qualities come from, KP... And seeing what you are going to be like 20 years from now, there is no one on this earth I'd rather be with for the rest of my life. Until we are in our rockers on the back deck, so I can look over at you and still be able to say'I have the most beautiful woman in the world, and have been lucky she chose me.'"

"I can't argue with that," came a voice from the trapdoor.

"Dad!" shouted Kim.

"Ahh!" Ron squeaked.

"Don't send him in a space probe. He is innocent, it was all an accident."

"Ron, let me ask you one question?" asked James. "What are your intentions with my wife?"

"Nothing, nothing at all! I mean she's older, and married to you..."

"What! After the nice evening we had together this is how you think of me?" Anne kidded as she was coming up the stairs.

"No! I, I. Awwh, I'm not going to say anything further without proper counsel present."

"Ron," James continued. "Anne told me everything that happened that night. It was all innocent. In fact I'd say it was right out of one those ladies romance novels, those "Bodice Ripper books." You two didn't fall for each other, you fell for the romance that happened that night... Also, didn't you say you were thinking of Kim while you were dancing with Anne?"

Ron nodded. "Yes, but afterwards, Doc was on my mind. A lot."

"Doc?" Kim and James said.

"After what happened at Ron's house, he claims he won't say the name Anne for quite sometime," Anne answered.

"Ron, what did happen at your house last Saturday night?" inquired Kim's father.

"I think it's time to use my mad running away skills. Later KP!"