Ehehe, House smutty Halloween fic! This goes out to Una, because without you, well I mean I'd still be able to write, but you give me smutastic ideas and I love you for that!

Not mine, trust me on that, if they were they would have done this a looooong time ago!



"Stop eating the candy!"

"I'm not!"

"Yes you are!"


"I could hear the wrapper rustling!"

House sighed and pocketed a mini-M&M's bag before shifting at his spot on the couch and switching channels. Cameron came out with chocolate milk and a water bottle. He bit his lip momentarily at her casual attire and had to hold back a wolf whistle. She was wearing his sleeping pants and a long sleeve shirt with her hair in a ponytail as small strands fell around her shoulders. "Oh! Gimme!" House said as he saw her with his drink.

She took a sip right before handing it to him and took her spot next to him on the couch. Cameron eyed him out of the corner of her eyes and gave him a small grin. He was way to busy 'mmm' ing and 'aaah'ing about the milk itself he was completely oblivious to what was happening around him.

"Wow!" he said inspecting the milk. "This is freaking amazing!"

"Thank you"

"Hmmm...a person who makes this good of chocolate milk deserves a treat"

She grinned at him. "What do you have in mind?"

He set down the milk on the table and leaned forward a bit. His hand drifted onto her thigh and slowly made its way toward his favorite female anatomy. "Well, for starters..." he leaned in for a kiss. Their lips were a mere inch away when a barrage of knocks snapped them out of their romantic setting. House groaned and grabbed his cane in much annoyance. He strode to the door and flung it open.

"WHAT!" he barked.

5 kids were piled up onto his doorstep holding bags with jack-o-lanterns and black cats on them. "Trick or treat!" they said in unison. House sighed and looked them over dropping some candy into their bag. His eyes lit up when he found one that he liked and snatched it right before the kid had a chance to open it.

"Hey!" the kid protested, "that's mine!"

"It's my treats, my rules, so deal with it" he said taking an emphatic bite out of it staring directly into the kids eyes.

The kid glared and walked away with the bunch of other kids in the direction for more candy.

He dropped the bowl, but not before eating another one, onto his table and making his way toward Cameron.

"That wasn't really nice"

"You make it seem like if I care"

She laughed and returned to her program. They watched as Grissom and Sara sat on the bleachers of a hockey arena.

"That's not true, I've been a baseball fan my whole life"

"Baseball? Well that figures, all those stats"

"It's a beautiful game"

"Since when have you been interested in beauty?"

"Since I met you"

Cameron aww'd and House rolled his eyes at how sappy it all seemed to him. There was another knock and House got up again, in much annoyance.

"Trick or treat" the 3 kids said. They seemed to look around 15 each and House couldn't resist not to say something snarky when he glimpsed at what they were wearing. He had to smirk at how bad they were just asking to be made fun of, and with House's reputation, it was right around his area of expertise.

"And what are you supposed to be? A Jack-ho-lantern?" he said plainly dropping a candy into her bag.

The girl scowled at him but he just shrugged it off. "What?" he asked innocently.

"That was directed towards me!" she screeched.

House looked over their shoulders and saw people past. "Well, I don't see any other girl so it has got to be you"

"What are you tryna say?"

"That your costume is cheap and so very, how could I put this nicely...prostituty" The boys by her side just 'ahhh'd ' in a laughing matter. House took this as a chance to shoot down their pride. "And what are you guys suppose to be? Siegfried and Roy?"

The boys grimaced and looked at one another, glancing up and down at their current attire. "What! No" they said in unison, fear plaguing each and every word.

"Were supposed to be disco dancers!" one of them said loudly.

"Like that's any better" House muttered from the side of his mouth.

"Can we just have candy so we can go?" the girl said.

"Hmmmm" House scrunched up his face mock thinking. "No. I'll make fun of you a bit more then I'll let you go"

Suddenly there was a hand grabbing his waist and yanking him to the side. "Sorry about that. My boyfriend is a complete asshole" she said glaring at House. "Sorry about that again" Cameron grabbed the bowl and dropped 3 pieces each into their bags.

"Damn, you mighty fine to be with him" one of them said blowing out a breath and closing his eyes.

"I heard that you weasel!" House said forcefully.

They grabbed their candy and sprinted away before House had a full view of what was going on.

"See. This is one of the main reasons that I don't like to give candy away. Its fucking idiots like that and stupid costumes and just people in general"

Cameron sighed and framed his face with her hands. "One more hour. I promise"

"Do we have too?" he whined.

"Yes and trust me you'll like your treat veeeeeeery much" she said seductively, taking his bottom lip and sucking it lightly before giving him a full blown groin-tingling kiss. They separated and House immediately felt his reaction to her words. They looked down simultaneously at the small bulge in his jeans and growled when Cameron placed a hand giving him noticeable pressure. "Oh, you have to wait. Be a good boy" she said licking the shell of his ear. It took all of his will to not bend Cameron over the couch and take her there. One more hour he told himself, one more fucking miserable blue balling hour.

She walked away into the kitchen putting more swagger into her walk then necessary. He looked after her and gulped at how she knew when and what buttons to push. His phone rang and saw who it was. Pushing speaker he leaned back into the couch and answered it.

"Hello" he said sweetly.

"House" the other voice said breathlessly.

"You getting blown Jimmy?"

There was a short pause and a short yelp as there was some rustling and shuffling at the other end. Then a small sigh was heard and Wilson came back on.

"No you idiot. I had you on speaker and Lisa heard"

"Wow, I've already said this once to Allie but I don't mind saying it again if it gets the point make it sound like if I care"

Wilson sighed in defeat. "Well, at least someone is going to be getting some tonight"

"Yea. She has something planned, don't know what, but it sounds promising"

"That's great to know"

"What is everyone wearing?" House said suddenly.

"Um. Well, Cuddy is wearing..."

"OH!" House said interrupted loudly causing Cameron to poke her head out, "don't tell me...she's wearing 5, no 6 pieces of tape." she poked her head back in with an eye roll, "2 X's across each one of her-"

"Don't finish that" Wilson said already knowing where the conversation was heading. It was House, pretty self explanatory for anyone to figure out. He sighed and glanced over at Cuddy, Foreman and Chase laughing over something Chase had said. He gave emphasis to it as he threw his arms up inadvertently trying to explain to them as Cuddy and foreman dodged the arms of a well past drunken Chase.

"I know that I am going to regret this but could I possibly put you on speaker?"

House feigned hurt. "Jimmy. I thought you loved me! Of course you can!"

He sighed and pressed the button for speaker walking over to them and mouthing 'House' right before giving Cuddy a sweet kiss. She smiled after him and looked back at them. Chase's eyes lit up with drunken brightness and threw his head back with a smile.

"House!" Chase slurred.

"Wombat" House said dryly.

"Hey! You, um, why didn't you like come to the party?"

"Because you're there that's why"

Chase made a face but grabbed the phone from Wilson and spoke to it. "House! Tell Cameron hi for me!"

"Your voice sounds muffled which means you are probably talking to the wrong side of it you moron"

Chase lifted it and flipped it around giving a short 'oops' and a drunken laugh. "So, how about that hi for me?"

"No. She's mine. Get over her"

Wilson and Cuddy exchanged glances turning back to Chase. He furrowed his eyebrows in disagreement. "I just wanted to you to say hi to Camero-"

"Hi Chase" Cameron said. There was a 'hey' which could only have come from House in protest. "House, stop being sucha lil bitch" she said. House roared with laughter as a small 'smack' came their way. Foreman scowled in disgust. Like watching them kiss in front of wasn't enough, they had to do it over the phone too.

"Sorry" she said laughing.

"It's fine"

"Hey Cam" Foreman and Cuddy said in unison.

"Hey you guys"

House's voice came over the line. "Let me see what everyone is wearing. Chase is Skippy the Bush Kangaroo" he said in his best Australian accent, "Foreman is Flava Flav. Cuddy is wearing 6 pieces of tape and Wilson is someone who is not him. Am I right?"

Chase laughed drunkenly, pointed and laughed at Foreman. He stopped laughing when he looked down at what he was wearing. "Hey!" he said offended. "Ima pirate"

"Yea, a butt pirate"

Wilson tried to hold back his laughter as tears began to surface. Cuddy looked over at him and scowled. "Don't encourage him" she mouthed. He looked at her sheepishly and sighed know well knowing, he defiantly, wasn't going to get any. Foreman had to admit that it was indeed funny and threw Chase a 'hey, what can I say' look before returning to his drink.

"Alright kiddies it was fun to chat but I must be going!"

"Bye House" they said in unison. Chase's bye was flirting with anger and embarrassment.

Cameron shook her head and laughed, snapping the phone shut. "You never will give Chase a break will you?"

He shook his head. "Nope, then the nurses will start saying that you have turned me soft"

"I don't think I turn you soft I'd say I do the opposite" she said devishly. House gave her a sideway glance and smirked. The hour had pasted by torturing slow. Every time he glanced at the clock it seemed as if it would go forward one minute but go back two. Tapping his fingers on the arm of the chair he couldn't remember how many times he had glanced at his watch. Noting the torture that was building in him, Cameron got up and walked off to the bedroom.

"Where are you going" House called from his spot on the couch.

She poked her head out to the hallway. "Oh, I'll be back"

He squinted his eyes at her in amusement and continued to watch the CSI marathon. There was some small grunts and clicking that meant Cameron was done with whatever she had planned. House swallowed and craned his neck into the hallway.

"Nu-uh-uh" he heard Cameron's voice call out, "You can't look. Shut your eyes"

He did as he was told and waited. Suddenly there was two soft hands running their way down his chest and toying with the zipper of his pants. It was becoming increasingly harder and harder to not open his eyes at the torturous movements, settling for the groan in frustration. Her hands were gone. He frowned and began to open his eye up to a slit.

There was a sharp 'No' in the direction of the TV as the sound of it was abruptly cut short. "Alright you could look"

If the thought of doing Cameron senseless wasn't enough he would have this moment etched into his mind forever. Cameron was standing there wearing the hottest costume House could manage to come up with. The white outfit was hugging her in all of the right places, the red of her lip stick and bra that peeked right beneath the white vest made House gape. Her pointer finger was seductively placed inside of her mouth as she licked it slowly. The small white old fashioned hat sat neatly on her head, her hair falling down her shoulders effortlessly.

Cameron is in a naughty nurse outfit...he thought Could this get any better? He casted his eyes to the ceiling and muttered, "thank you" before returning his gaze on her. She continued to stand there, licking her finger suggestively and staring directly into his eyes. His eyes close shut as she walked over to the stereo. It took her a second to find a suitable song but it was perfect. Her movements were thoughtful and erotic. Making her way to the kitchen there was some small cursing as he wondered if he should follow her or let her be. She came back with a white paper that House could only make out as "take what you want". He smirked and sat back waiting for further instructions. It had always been one of his fantasies, playing as the role of the lesser. Dominance came so effortlessly to him; he hadn't known the feeling of it. She bounced over to him, in sync with the music and began to run her fingers over him. Small scrapes here and there made him shiver with a sensation he couldn't place his finger upon.

She dragged a chair in her direction making it twirl while it stopped lopsided. Going over to the windows, House glanced one last time seeing leaves of autumn slowly cascade their way onto the sidewalk. With one flicker of the switch, the room no longer immersed in the friendly light, now holding the mysterious dark it held throughout the many years of loneliness.

She bounded toward him and began to slowly bob herself up and down around his body. He groaned and threw his head back in pleasure. He knew better then to reach out and try to touch, the many slaps throughout his hooker days, now over, taught him well. Cameron knew the rules; the many years of having stripper friends helped the situation. She had taken up pole-dancing, secretly, when one friend had arranged the meeting as a bet. Not knowing it would become addicting, feeling the sense of dominance over take her caring and sensitive persona, she continued to do it till she felt she had learned all she could.

Bending over in front of him she saw him twitch with self will and forced his hand back down to his side. She continued to screw with his mind, running her hands up the sides of his mouth, along his stubble with a reverent finger and licking the shell of his ear. The bulge disappeared when House cried out in bliss. His eyes fixated themselves onto the ceiling before nestling for Cameron's own. She looked down to see a damp spot beginning to appear on his jeans.

"My, my" she started, "someone lost it I see?"

He smirked. "That's kinda what happens when a hot chick like yourself does something so incredibly erotic as that"

She cocked her head to the side and smiled. "Hmmm, I see. Sooooo" she said running another finger for the 100th time in the past few minutes across his face, "are you coming with me or not?"

He began to frantically search for his cane. Cameron was well beyond half point of the hallways when House found his cane. Thumping it loudly against the hardwood floor he let out a squeal of delight when he found Cameron perched on both her elbows waiting for him seductively. She crooked a finger at him and motioned for him to come with a slow lick above her lip. House shuddered with pleasure as he quickly stepped out of his jeans, kicked off his shoes and flung his shirt to the side.

"My turn" he said crawling onto the bed.

He slowly began to strip away the second skin, running his fingertips all along her skin. Taking off her bra he grabbed one perk breast and slipped the nipple inside his mouth, running it along it and biting lightly. Cameron threw her head back, running her hands along his hair and pulling heedlessly.

"Oh my..." she breathed.

His hand ran its way along the valley of her breasts then stopped at her core. Slipping one finger inside, he began to slowly pump then added another one as Cameron's breathing became more frantic. "Greg..." He pumped faster remaining his mouth on her breasts suckling eagerly.

She cried out to the ceiling tugging on his hair more violently as an orgasm wave passed her, making her curl her toes and scream out incoherent noise. He smirked against her pert breast.

"My, my" he began to mock her, "I see someone lost it I see?"

She smirked. "That's kinda what happens when a hot, incredibly sexy, scruffy, mouth watering doctor like yourself does something so incredibly erotic as that"

House smirked and hovered above her, probing at her entrance. "Enough with the adjectives already"

"That's the best way to describe you actually"

He shut her up with a powerful thrust. "Oh my fucking god"

"Not god" he said through gritted teeth, thrusting shallowly.

She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck simultaneously locking her ankles around his waist. His leg screamed at him but didn't care. He could easily pop some Vicodin after the sex had passed. House's thrust became more frantic then lessened to a more deliberate pace. He switched speeds constantly, Cameron never knowing what to expect. The orgasm for both of them began to build. Cameron clawed, leaving thin but distinctive lines along the side of his arm. Pistoning in and out of her, House and Cameron both reached their peeks, loudly screaming out each others name. Once done, she grabbed her shirt and wiped her self down. House pulled out and rested against the headboard fixing a pillow for comfort. She flung the shirt aside and draped a hand around his waist snuggling her head against his chest.

"Best Halloween that I have ever had..."

"You did nothing but trick..." Cameron said smoothly.

"And I had plenty of treats" he finished off with a grin.

Happy Halloween!