A/N Though I absolutely love AU fics, I feel like season 3 could've gone so many ways so I decided to write my little version of it and I hope you'll like it. So this my own post-prom fic with a little twist ...
I've been shifting the small rectangular box around for the last 10 minutes, afraid to open it and discover its contents. It wasn't labelled, nor was there any sign of any indication whatsoever.
Just a simple carton box.
Yet this little box got me intrigued the moment I held it in my trembling hands. It might be because of its unfamiliarity. Or maybe it was due to the fact that it was dropped in front of my front door at 2.17 AM. It's deliverance was signalled not with a ring of the doorbell, but with the faint noise of a hesitant knock. By the time I had opened the door, all I could hear was the piercing sound of screeching tires and all I could see was that little small box sprawled on the worn 'Welcome' doormat.
I'm not ignorant though.
I know from who this box is. There's only one person that knew I would be alone in the living room at 2 AM on this Friday night. There was only one person that knew that I'd be singing quietly to Eliza Doolittle's Wouldn't it be loverly? without missing a single beat.
I don't care if Audrey Hepburn didn't sing any of those songs in My Fair Lady, she was and always will be my first and all time celebrity crush. From her dazzling charm and the omnipresent mystery that surrounded her, to her unnaturaly natural beauty that shone through both inwardly as outwardly. There was a marathon on tonight, and I'd be damned if I would miss a minute of it for something as futile as a good night sleep. Besides, a 'good' night sleep hasn't embraced me for over 5 months. Why would tonight be any different?
And there's only one person who I ever told about my small obsession. Only one person with whom I could talk about it freely, way before I came out, without feeling slightly embarrassed. There was only one person that thought about me, the moment they heard about this marathon.
Oh, I know damn well who planted this box in front of my door. I know that this unlabelled box of mystery, is labelled in more ways than one. In manners that were way more significant than any tags would ever be. And I know that this mystery box, is anything but mysterious.
But for a moment I let myself get lost in it completely. It's been too long since I felt the mixture of excitement and wonder pour through my veins. It's been too long since I felt alive, even if it is for a few moments. It's been too long since I was pleasantly surprised, since I've been of thrown into the unknown without ending up being absolutely crushed.
So I let myself feel again.
I let myself feel the vividness and happiness that I've lacked for these passed months. I let myself be me again. So that's why I shift the box in my hand one more time before finally setting it on my bedside table. That's why I won't open it, not right now anyway. Because whatever it is I'm feeling right now, it's a million times better than the hollowness I've been feeling ever since that night. The pain I've been experiencing ever since he left. The heartache I've been suffering from ever since she left. The carelessness I've been feeling ever since she's back.
By opening this box, everything will shift again. Maybe for the better, maybe for the worst. And no matter how anxious I'm feeling, no matter how much my fingers are itching to tear open that little package, I don't. Because it's this whirlwind of long lost sentiments that form the beginning of my healing process. It's these emotions that will give me my first good night sleep since that faithful night. And with the simple deliverance of this unopened box, she has entered into my life again.
And with this little gesture alone, I already forgive her.