My Last Girls Name

A/N - This is set at the end of season three right after Turk and Carla get married the only difference being that JD hasn't screwed things up with Elliot by telling her he doesn't love her and they are still a (relatively new) couple.

JD's internal monologue is shown in italics, like this, and daydreams in bold, like this.

Disclaimer; I own nothing apart from the knowledge that I won't get any awards for originality with this story but hey, I'm writing it for fun and to feed my (and anyone else's) unhealthy addiction to angst!


You know how when everything in your life suddenly starts to go right and you almost don't notice 'cause you're so used to it screwing up, well I think that's what's happened to me a little.

Things have been great, and although I bitch every now and then, I can see now with hindsight that they've been great for a while. Stuff just seems to be working out for all of us.

Turk and Carla got married and are off enjoying their honeymoon (unless Turk got his way and managed to smuggle Rowdy with him). Dr Cox has finally realised that he loves me like a son and has had a T-Shirt made which says 'I'm JD's mentor' in rhinestones on the front...Ok, that last part's just in my head but back in real life he and Jordan seem to be making things work as a family, which has mellowed him a tiny bit, and as for me, well I finally feel like I'm pulling everything together as a doctor, that the ratio has shifted from me being totally green to having a degree of confidence in myself and being a little bit, well, established at what I do.

Oh and before I forget the best part, I'm actually making things work with Elliot. Granted it's only been two weeks but believe me that's a real achievement considering we have enough combined neurosis to screw things up within two seconds if we really put our minds to it.

So yeah, great! Things have been great!

Even a day like today can't put me off my stride. I lost a patient on the ICU earlier, well, two to be exact, but one of them, Mr Horowitz, he was an old guy. 86 years young as he liked to say, who'd had a long and full life. I did everything I could but with his stomach cancer as advanced as it was it was pretty much a given that I'd lose him as soon as he came in. I could deal with that and move on.

The other guy, he was different, a little more complicated and I didn't so much lose him in the dead sense but more like lost as in someone took him. OK, I'll get to the point, Dr Cox took him. Off me! He said he did it to help me out but as he isn't usually the most helpful guy on the planet I really think he did it to put me back in my place a bit. Maybe he sensed my growing confidence and Jedi like mental poise and felt he had to squash me back down

They guy I was treating was a real jackass, even though he was unconscious. In my head I'd mentally likened him to his brother and his brothers' scary friends who were hanging around and being jackasses. He'd been in a car smash. Nothing too serious but he'd gotten the steering wheel pretty much jammed into his gut and ruptured his spleen. We'd turfed him to surgery who'd turfed him back with a whiney note on his chart about how we could 'maybe put ourselves out a little and get his temperature and probable infection to toe the line' before they removed the very thing that was helping him to fight it off.

That pissed Dr Cox off no end and he was certainly on a roll by the time he reached me as I stood by my patients bed trying to explain to his brother and Neanderthal friends why he'd been wheeled back in without so much as a paper cut let alone the major abdominal surgery we'd promised him.

Normally I had no problem with patients or patients' relatives but these guys were all so oppressive. Big guys low on brains and high on anger. They reminded me of high school jocks only without any of the social skills and intelligence required to kick a ball around – hey, see I can do sarcasm! I have to remember to tell Turk! Anyway, they didn't give me any grief or anything, well nothing I couldn't handle, but they were loud and obnoxious.

"So what you're saying is Danny here can't have surgery yet 'cause you didn't do your job properly? Huh, 'cause it sure as hell sounds like that to me!" The man yelled in my face, his own face turning a worrying shade of puce.

'Mr Peterson, your brother does have a temperature and MILD infection but nothing that MOST surgeons would postpone surgery for. The doctor who was scheduled to perform the procedure has his own views on this though and would rather we calm the infection down first. It's not a problem it just ..."

"Not a problem? How is it not a problem when you have a tube stuck in him draining blood out of his side and he isn't even getting what's bleeding fixed! What kind of place is this that has doctors like you screwing around with people?"

"Look, Mr..."

"What are you anyways, thirteen, fourteen? When the freaking hell did you qualify?"

His face was right in mine as I tried to calm him down and I was aware of one of his friends standing by his side with a meaty hand on his shoulder, holding him in check a little. "This is a teaching hospital but I assure you Mr ..."

"You're a fucking student? Is that what you're telling me?"

He stepped back and shoved his hands through his hair as he laughed. "I want a proper doctor here now!" He demanded.

I stood my ground, refusing to be intimidated or bullied by this guy. I know I can do my job and he's just scared for his brother I told myself. I need to get his friends out of here, pull the curtain and sit down with this guy and calm him down. I could do this, I knew I could. I didn't get the chance though as I felt someone step up behind me his breath, dangerously close to the back of my neck. Ok, this guy, the guy stood behind me, could bully me. Could, would and did, most days. I rolled my eyes a little as he started to speak.

"Alrighty, what in Gods' name is going on here, and if I didn't make myself clear over the course of the last three years Suzie, I don't really want you to answer, I will find out for myself why you and your oh so blushing good looks have got these nice hillbilly folks so stirred up."

Mr Peterson stopped his hair tugging and stared at Dr Cox, his mouth open a little. Even his dumb entourage seemed to shrink back. Dr Cox faced him. "What's the problem?"

"I just ...I just wanna make sure my brothers being taken care of right, that's all." He shrugged and cast a fleeting look at me.

"And you're worried that Dr Dorothy here isn't up to the job, is that it?" Dr Cox raised his eyebrows.

"He just ... he told us he was going for surgery and now he's telling us something else ... and he seems a little young." He muttered, his bluster and bravado of a moment ago having shrunk somewhat.

"OK." Dr Cox turned to me. "I'll take this one Virginia. Why don't you check on Mrs Wagner in 402? She needs a chat and a shoulder to cry on about those thrombolytics we might have to push later. It'll be right up your alley Betsy. Take a hankie and some of your cover up and lip gloss." He turned back to Mr Peterson and the chart he'd tugged out of my hand, his back squarely in my face. "Oh and Ginger, show Mr Petersons friends to chairs please. They are nothing if not in my way."

Gritting my teeth and swallowing down the usual sigh that presented itself within my chest whenever Dr Cox went off on one of his rants I motioned to dumb, dumber and dumbest and walked them over to the waiting area by the nurses' station while they laughed and muttered 'Ginger' under their collective beer breath, before I carried on to Mrs Wagner's' room. God I miss Carla, she'd stand up for me and tell Dr Cox he's being a jerk.

Suddenly Dr Cox appears on all fours praying to a leather clad Carla's' feet for mercy as she gives him a tongue lashing.

Luckily the jarring pain of Dr Cox bumping my shoulder as he walked towards the lounge, hands dug deep in the pockets of his lab coat, brought me out of that semi disturbing daydream. Right, I thought. Carla's not here so it's time to stand up for myself!

"Dr Cox!"

"You're aware, Newbie, that you are standing between me, my soap and my rapidly thinning patience, right?"

"I've done it before and I'm not afraid do it now ...again" I shuffled my feet.

"But I'll have to threaten to whack you on the nose again Cindy. Why d'you wanna make me do that huh, huh? Why?" His eyes never left the TV.

Suddenly a wave of bravery and a tiny bit of calm swept over me and I straightened my shoulders and reached up to turn the TV off.

"Look Dr Cox, that patient, MY patient, Mr Peterson, I woulda calmed his brother down if you'd given me the chance and I really would appreciate you easing up on the crap you send my way in front of my patients. You can call me Ginger, princess, whatever when we're in the corridors, elevator, coffee shop but please, I'm asking you as a colleague, to rein it in even if it's just in front of the patients, you know those annoyingly sick people who look to me for support and guidance."

"You done big boy?"

I took a deep breath. "Pretty much." I nodded as I worked to stop my voice squeaking.

"Good. I just thought that those guys looked like they were giving you crap you could do without after an eighteen hour shift that's all. But your complaint is noted. I won't burden you with my assistance again"

He flicked his nose and settled further into the couch. I turned to leave, feeling suitably guilt ridden. He'd just been trying to help me out and I'd, wait up! I'm not going to let him guilt me. His motives might have been good but his manner was way out of line!

"Thanks, really for the help, but next time could you just try it without belittling me in the process." I said evenly.

His eyes met mine dead on and there was something there that I couldn't quite make out. It might have been the hint of an apology but it was gone so fast I couldn't be sure. Suddenly he cleared his throat and nodded. "OK." He said simply, his gaze still steady. After a moment he carried on, "That was a pretty ballsy speech there, Newbie. You wanna go take a minute in the supply closet?"

"God, yes!" I breathed as I rushed out. I think I heard him snort out a bark of laughter as he got up to jab the TV back on.

Ah, the security of the supply closet! The safe, warm feeling I get in there hasn't diminished even since my first day hiding from a coding patient. Of course it's warmth was pretty much not going to fade if you were in there with the girl of your dreams. I'd snuck in straight after I'd left the lounge. Normally I felt a little guilty for skiving in here but my shift had actually ended twenty seven seconds ago so I was all righty and guilt free. Elliot on the other hand wasn't.

"I shouldn't be in here!" She shrieked.

"Well, why are you then?" I whispered back as I pressed her against the shelves along the back wall.

"The OBGYN girls are on the prowl again. I thought I threw them off the other year but they want my soul and those bitches are not backing off!"

Suddenly there they were, the OBGYN girls prowling through the darkened corridors of Sacred Heart all of them dressed worryingly like Zena, all of them hunting down a scared looking Elliot who appeared to be wearing rabbit skins ... "Mmm, I miss Zena ..."

"JD!" Elliot snapped.

"What? Oh right, just take a deep breath Elliot. I won't let them take you." I muttered as I kissed her ear. "Besides you're horrible with babies. They'd toss your soul back down here to internal after a couple of hours."

"I am not horrible with ...why are you pressing me up against the shelves?" She demanded.

"It's a small room."

"No, it really isn't. There's a good couple of feet behind you, JD."

"OK, cause you're my girlfriend" I sing-songed, "and I like the way that sounds when I say it and I like getting jiggy in the supply closet with you and I'm off now and you're not so I wanted a kiss before the long walk home." I said in one breath.

"And Turks still away and you're lonely." She finished, her brow raised.

"Yeah, but I don't make out with Turk in the supply closet. Only you, pretty blond doctor." I smiled what I like to think was a winning smile at her which must have worked because she smiled back.

"I can't JD. I really need to get back to work. I do have a second to do this though." She smirked as she rounded on me, switching our positions so my back was against the shelves and my chest was pressed up against hers. In a second our lips were touching and her hand had slipped down the waistband of my scrubs and into my shorts.

"Are you abusing me in the supply closet Dr Reid?" I mumbled against her mouth.

"Absolutely, Dr Dorian." She breathed, her lips staying pressed to mine as her hand moved up and down.

After Elliot finished abusing me... And that really is a lovely sentence I'd like to say more often... I went to my locker, grabbed my stuff and started to head out for the night. I made it to the exit and was just trying to fix the earphones of my I-Pod into my ears when someone stepped in front of me. Looking up I found myself staring in Mr Petersons face.

"Mr Peterson." I stated pulling my earphone out and letting them dangle.

"Yeah, look Dr Dorothy I ..."

"Dorian, it's Dr Dorian." I sighed.

"Oh." He looked confused for a second before he started again. "Look, I just wanted to say ..., I'm sorry, for before. I acted like a complete tool. I was worried and stuff but there was no excuse."

I shook my head a little, "Don't sweat it, things can get a bit crazy when you're worried about someone who's close to you Mr Peterson, we see it all the time."

"I know but ... still. That other doctor he said you were one of his best residents and hell, I don't really know what a resident is but I guess it's good, huh?" He smiled weakly.

I smiled back.

"Anyway," He carried on. "The other doctor said you'd be back on my brother's case tomorrow so ... I wanted to say ... sorry."

So Dr Cox was tossing the guy back to me! And he said I was one of his best residents! ... Why not THE best, my evil inner voice asked before I squashed it down. I had to admit I was surprised. Maybe he had listened in the lounge. Well, there's a first time for everything I suppose.

I smiled again at Mr Peterson, "If that's what Dr Cox said then yeah, I'll be back on his case tomorrow." I nodded reassuringly at him and took his hand as he held it out to me. "You might want to ask your friends to hang back a little tomorrow though, just until he's a little better." I said. I really didn't want them under my feet again.

"Those guys? My friends? You're kidding right? They're my brothers crew not mine. Assholes the lot of them. I already got them to leave and I told them to back off. They'll stay away until I give them the word."

"Ok, Mr Peterson. Take care and I guess I'll see you and your brother tomorrow."

With that I put my earphones back in and left the hospital.

I had to admit I was feeling very pretty pleased with myself. The guy had apologised, Dr Cox had apologised in his own way by tossing my patient back to me (and by saying the 'best resident' thing which I would think about later when the moment was right) and Elliot had given me an interesting introduction to madam palm and her five lovely daughters in the supply closet so, going back to what I said earlier things were going great. Apart from having to walk home because the janitor and sloppy Joe guy had trashed my bike.

As I left the car park and headed down the alley way that provided a handy short cut to my apartment it finally dawned on me that this was my beginning, my start. Everything I'd worked for over the past few years had brought me to this contented moment where I finally saw that my life was on the brink of starting, for real.

Looking back it was kind of ironic that I had that thought at that moment because it was at that precise moment that everything stopped.