A/N: Ummm, crack!fic, much? Yeah. I was watching an episode of Grey's and thinking 'man! McDreamy and Mer would have one cute McBaby!' and then this happened.
I apologize in advance.
Not surprisingly, everyone in Seattle Grace knew who Derek Shepard and Meredeth Grey were. If not having met them personally, or had a fleeting glance while on their way to the pit, they would have heard the stories that spread like they had been lit on fire and thrown into a gasoline doused forest during the windy part of a year long drought in Arizona.
And, of course, when the pregnancy was confirmed, no body could wait to share the gossip.
"I heard it'stwins!"
"Don't be stupid, Helen. It's a girl, I heard it from Jackie last night in the on call room."
"Well, I heard from Logan that it's twins. He's friends with Dr. Stevens."
"Please. Logan wishes."
Not that they had disclosed the gender to anybody, not even themselves. After a lengthy discussion it was decided that it was probably better just not to know.
When Baby McDreamy was born (it happened to be a female) there was actually a line in front of the nursery to catch a glimpse of the new girl. Christina was there briefly to trade surgeries for prolonged viewings of the child, but left by orders of Izzie to keep an eye on Meredith, who had fallen unconscious shortly after birth.
Derek, on the other hand, was tied up in surgeries for the duration and had arrived to his sleeping girlfriend and no baby about three hours after she was born. Finding the window of opportunity to be, well, opportune, he made himself comfortable on a bedside chair and lapsed into dormancy four minutes thereafter, not noticing when Christina made herself at home in the seat across from him with interns 2 and 5 (Helen Clay and Logan Kepp) keeping guard outside.
Izzie and George stayed behind at the nursery long after the last person (Lexie, who had gone to by a teddy bear for her shiny new half-niece and some flowers for Meredith) had gone, poking the glass and cooing at baby girl Grey-Shepard.
"She's just so damn adorable!"Crooned Izzie.
"She's a baby, Izz, not a hamster." She favored him with a sour glare.
"Whatever, O'Mally." George grinned and turned back to the glass wall between them and the baby, watching as she slept in her pink hat and pink blankets and pink onesie.
"She is cute." He admitted softly, touching his fingers to the glass. "I just hope she doesn't get some kind of ugly name."
"I trust Shepard more than that."
"Yeah, but Meredith?"
"Not so much."
"Heeeey..." Izzie said, her face lighting up as she looked to George. "I've got an idea."
"Don't be smart, O'Mally. I was thinking we should take the kid."
"Oh, c'mon. You always said that you wanted to do something as a couple."
"Yeah. I meant like, going to the fair or taking a vacation on the beach. Not kidnapping our best friend's baby!"
"Geeze. We'd give her back. Where's your sense of adventure?"
"Sorry, I left it at home along with my urge to jump off a tall building without a parachute."
"C'mon, we're doing this." Izzie took a protesting George by the wrist and lead him into the nursery, where they found the baby. She smiled as she reached in and scooped up the squirming bundle, cradling her in her arms. "Let's go tell Christina where we're taking her, and then show her around the hospital."
When Meredith Grey woke up, the first thing she saw when her vision cleared was Christina sitting in front of her, doing a crossword. She propped herself onto her elbows, and squinted against the bright light.
"Morning, sunshine." Christina greeted without looking up "Have a nice drug-induced nap?"
"Ummm...yeaaah." Meredith drawled, rubbing her left eye "How long was I out?"
"About five hours or so."
"Did Derek come in in time for the baby?"
"Nah. He came in about two hours ago and fell asleep over there-" She gestured to his slumbering form "Everybody in the hospital but you two has seen the baby. Kind of ironic, isn't it?"
"In a bad way, sure. Can I see my baby? Where is it?"
"George and Izzie kidnapped it. They said they'd have it back in a couple hours."
"Oh. Can you, like, find them and tell them to give me my baby, please?"
"Sure thing. TWO, FIVE!" She shouted too the door. At that moment, Helen and Logan scuttled in with frightened stature. "Go find O'Mally and Stevens and take baby Grey-Shepard from them. Bring it back here."
"Yes, Dr. Yang." Helen said as her and Logan ran out the door to find the elusive duo.
"Hey, little baby McDreamy!" Alex said as George and Izzie approached him in the lunch room "I saw you for, like, five seconds before I got shoved out of the way by Christina and some smart-ass intern."
"Well, here she is in the flesh." Said Izzie proudly "we kidnapped her from maternity."
"Nice." Alex nodded, eating a nacho "But aren't Meredeth and Shepard going to be pissed that you babynapped their daughter?"
George shrugged "I told her it was a bad idea."
"Yeah, well you've got no sense of adventure." He paused "I think Baily missed seeing her today. Why don't you go up and show her little Mer Jr.?" Izzie nodded.
"That's a great idea! C'mon, George!"
"Kepp and Clay just came by looking for you two. Said you'd kidnapped baby Grey-Shepard."
"Yes, well, it was all in good fun." Izzie said, presenting the baby "Isn't she just the most adorable thing ever?"
"She's cuter than most babies I've seen, I'll give her that." Baily said, quirking her eyebrows "She's got some lucky-ass genes, this one does. But you'd better take her back too the interns before Grey and Shepard throw a fit on accounta their daughter being babynapped."
"Thank you for that logic, Dr. Baily." George sighed, placing his hand on his girlfriend's shoulder "Let's go, Izz."
"Hey, Mer, we've got a baby girl that wants it's mom over here." Izzie said as she and George entered the room. Meredith looked up as they approached her with her daughter. Christina put down her puzzle and went to shake awake Derek.
"Awha...?" Garbled McDreamy, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "Hey, is that our baby?"
"Yeah, it is. Come on and take a look." The entire four of them gathered around the bed as Meredith held the sleeping baby.
"What do you think?" Izzie asked.
"It looks so...squishy. Can I poke it?" The new mother commented, cradling the baby in her arms.
"Um, I wouldn't advise it." Said McDreamy
"We need to name it."
"How about after the intern who is still wandering around looking for her?" Christina suggested "Helen is a nice name." Derek and Meredith rolled their eyes in unison.
"Theodora." Everyone turned to look at McDreamy, who had said the name with a final tone in his voice. "Theodora Grace, or Theo for short."
Meredith looked skeptical for a moment "Theo," she said slowly "Theodora, Theodora Grace..." she paused "okay, yes, alright. I like it." Another pause "Yeah, it's perfect." They turned to smile at each other, making everybody else in the room feel strangely uncomfortable.
In the background, Theo cooed softly.
A/N: To write more about Theo or not too write more about Theo, that is the question. I'm depending on what you guys think.