Code Geass: The Realm of God
Chapter 60: Sprouting wings
Gah, finally a new chapter. Summer is over and it's getting colder now which means I will be spending more time indoors writing than during summer. I wanted to finish this last week but illness got to me and I was in bed for a while with the flu, but I'm almost better now and fall always brings me in a good mood to write, summer is where I start slacking as you might have noticed.
I changed something in my storyline as well, not something you should worry about because that part is still unwritten but I have to make some slight changes to what I wanted to storyline to be, I'm sure you'll love that twist I'm going to add.
Also those who like my writing work might want to start reading Injected from ToneStar92 in the Code Geass M section, she asked for my help to edit her future chapters and together I made a plot for the story that has a lot of twists and like this one sweet character build up in it, I'm certain you will like it.
I originally planned to add like 4 more scenes but I'm getting tired of the length of the chapter, though I wanted to start more military action next chapter, seems like next chapter will hold the now moved scenes and more serious talks about the future. I'm going to cook, I'm hungry.
Enjoy reading this chapter, M rated cause of the sweet smexy scene and don't forget to review that always makes a writer feel that their chapter is loved by the readers and that their hard work paid off, thank you for your support!
Last note, I changed my penname as you might see. I first wanted to take just Karuma but that was taken so I added the -chan so I could use it, Karuma is the username I use whenever I'm online, the Asheron part was part of my first online nickname but since it was from a game I made Karuma which wasn't based on anything and decided to use that one from then on, I was just too lazy to change my penname here after all these years.
-The fate of destruction is also the joy of rebirth-
Children walk along the summer railway tracks
Exposing their bare feet to the blowing wind
We place in the distance the days of our childhood
We place in our hands hope that springs forth
Chapter 60A: A fish
Lelouch yawned once more before he tightened the grip on his fishing rod, he tugged it back a little to see if any fish had already bitten but there was none, he was too impatient and it was still too early for him to enjoy these things. He looked at Suzaku who was sitting next to him, holding a similar rod in his hands and noticed the wide smile on his face. He turned his expression forward again mocking how stupid his friend was, they had been here for over an hour and still no sign of any fish that might take their bait, looking up to the sky he started to think about any reasons as to why their technique was failing, for instance Suzaku had no technique he leaned on experience however Lelouch, who was more of a tactician, knew that in order to catch big fishes they would have to move to another spot, the wind here was terrible and the waves kept the fish away.
"I wonder if Nunnally is alright"
He complained and Suzaku looked at him with those big green eyes.
"I'm sure she's alright, she sounded a little angry about this morning anyway"
"That was because you woke her up!"
He quickly commented in a louder tone.
"She's probably back asleep now"
He was caught back by the silly smile and with a pouting lip turned to his fishing rod again, defeated and maybe even embarrassed, that was until Suzaku jumped to his feet.
"I got one!"
He watched as the young boy tried his best to reel the fish in, his heels pushing further against the rocks as he pulled but when a snap sounded he closed his eyes and heard a loud thud next to him, he opened them again and saw that the tanned boy had made a painful fall, the snare of his rod had snapped and the item was lying next to him. He rubbed his behind as he sat up.
"Are you alright?"
He asked as Suzaku sat up, his eyes peering over the broken snare. He seemed alright and so Lelouch turned his attention back to the stretched out ocean.
He whispered out and hoped that Suzaku had not heard that comment, however he did and soon after he felt two fists against his temples, rubbing and grinding against his skull.
"Stop it, that hurts!"
He looked upwards with an angered expression, Suzaku stared back equally annoyed and sat down next to the former Prince. Neither said anything for the moment and Lelouch wondered what Suzaku was thinking, did he do something wrong? His eyes narrowed and focussed on his small hands which tightened their grip on the still standing rod on instinct.
He whispered out, he didn't want to apologize it wasn't in his nature and neither was he certain whether or not Suzaku was indeed angry with him. Suzaku blinked and looked at him, astonishment but also confusion could be read and Lelouch gulped before looking the other way.
"Did you think...?"
Suzaku mumbled and Lelouch pressed his eyes shut to avoid Suzaku's given glare, he had looked away to hide his face from him, it was embarrassing for him to look like this after all. Suzaku laughed and he figured out that he had been wrong about apologizing, his eyes now open like saucers and his face red from even more embarrassment, he turned to say something but felt a pull coming from the rod and with his mouth still gaping open, ready to throw out any comment that could hide this obscenity he now looked at the item in his hands as if it was of alien nature.
Suzaku yelled out and grabbed the rod, the tanned hands covering the somewhat smaller white ones as he pulled back. Lelouch helped him and both boys leaned back, their back barely touching the ground before leaning forward again to reel in the line followed by a repeat of this action. It took them several times until they both noticed that the opposing force was slowly giving in, Suzaku took the rod and got to his feet, there he started to reel in more quickly as Lelouch caught his breath, after all he wasn't in any physical shape to do these kinds of things even after getting used to the long daily walks for their groceries. That reminded him of something that had happened about a week ago.
"You know... next time you go to town... I'll come along... so wait for me okay?"
It reminded him of the day that decided not to listen to his requests, he wondered if Suzaku still remembered. He pulled back the sleeve of his jacket and looked at the small left over wound underneath, it was almost fully healed now and it hadn't left a scar or anything. Looking back at Suzaku he wondered if the Japanese was still angry at him about it, he could have died that night for all he knew and hardly remembered what had happened, he did remember the words that were yelled at him that day.
"I hate your kind... you think you can just come here and steal this country... we know what you did to the others..."
Suzaku once spoke to him in a tone that was similar to theirs, the first time they met he was beaten to pulp by him even and was only spared because of Nunnally, whenever she was around he would act kindly, something you could compare with pity a part of his brain was telling him now that this could be the reason why Suzaku was acting the way he was towards him, was he only being kind to him for Nunnally, so that he could keep her happy? He couldn't help but cast his eyes down at those thoughts, Suzaku hated Britannia so did he still hate him?
His thoughts however were interrupted when a fish landed in front of him and he screamed before crawling away from the still living and squirming creature. He looked at Suzaku with a familiar death glare but Suzaku just laughed at him and bend down to take a good hold of the fish. He started to walk away from the rocky cliff and made way to the forest.
"Where are you going? Aren't you letting it go?!"
He was rather shocked when Suzaku replied with a simply no and got to his feet to catch up with him because he didn't want to be alone.
Chapter 60B: Cruelty
Life is in some cases compared to what people refer to as a road, it's a one way lane and you never know where you might end up with but one thing is certain it has a dead end. He had never thought much about death, death was something that only the lowest grade of society feared as well as the highest, though he wondered if his Father actually feared it behind the stern expression and intimidating voice, like he said he had never thought much about dying but right now after experiencing it for a first time he actually felt even more frightened about immortality.
The people around him acted as if nothing had happened, as if he just gotten better from a silly illness that he had brought on himself. Their lives would go on, their bodies would age and they could and eventually would die, their bodies would turn into dust leaving only him behind. What would happen if that happened, would Suzaku leave him like all those other people? Would he remain alone in this world as everything around him withered and died in due time? Suzaku had once told him that he was still human, after witnessing him in a state that he had mentally blocked out because it was too surreal he had accepted him even after changing into such a repulsive creature and even now did he act as if he was still like him, still human. He had doubts now, this power frightened him, even more than the one he already had and it had marked him now as inhuman, he wondered if Suzaku would hate him if he told him about this drastic change of fait but most importantly he wondered what would happen to him.
The small blade circled through the cloth covered fingers, rotating and moving back and forth. It was a habit of his whenever he would be deep in thought about something, he had picked it up during the long classes in which he would be wondering about politics and future plots, it was back when Zero not yet existed and Suzaku had not yet returned. Somehow now did he start to understand C.C. more and more, he remembered how she had flung herself in front of him and how he had watched the open wound heal up from a distance. Then he had only been interested in it in a scientific kind of way because he had wondered how she was still alive after a shot in the head. It had now become clear to him that she must have suffered immensely through out the years that she lived, he had seen torches and torture devices in her head and only now did he realise that even though she was immortal she could still feel pain when the wound was inflicted, he had never noticed.
A part of him however was curious about this new power, even with the negativity of pain would he after all still survive.
"You must fight... you will fight..."
He would certainly have more time and chances to kill that man, but for now he couldn't. His Father had taken something precious from him and was now using it against him together with that foolish brother of his.
He had Nunnally. He stretched out his arm and took the knife in his hands, thinking of Nunnally had given him more determination to once again be secretive and traitorous and with his mind still set on the healing wound on the green haired woman's chest did he pull it across the surface. The blade dug deeper and deeper ad he pushed and he gasped at the feeling it was giving him, it hurt immensely but for Nunnally would he bleed, he would get her back for certain.
His eyes however snapped open when he heard someone open the door of the bedroom, Suzaku walked in with a plate in his hands and could see the back of Lelouch's head on the other side of the bed.
"Lelouch, are you awake?"
His pupils shrunk and he looked at his arm, the blade was still stuck in his flesh and the blood was still seeping out, making a red streak on his arm that spread dots to his clothing below. In a reflex did he grab the blade and pulled it out as silent as he could but he couldn't help but escape one painful gasp afterwards as he threw the item underneath the bed. Suzaku knew something was up when he entered the room and he put the plate on a nearby table, it was then that a painful cry was heard by him, quiet but it was still there and he quickly walked to the other side of the bed where Lelouch was sitting, at first he didn't know what was happening but when he saw one of the gloved hands cling onto his other arm that was somehow covered with blood he became instantly uneasy and even afraid.
"What happened... did you get hurt?!"
He shouted out but Lelouch didn't answer him, his chin was still pressed against his chest and his eyes were pressed shut, but they soon opened and he looked up again. The gloved covered hand rose up from his arm, blood staining the white fabric and Suzaku peered at it, though was even more confused when he saw that there was nothing underneath, there was no wound, only blood.
"Sorry, I had a bloody nose that's all..."
With disbelief did he run a finger over the pale skin, it seemed so surreal and unlikely. He didn't notice that Lelouch was now whipping his nose, some of the blood stuck to the tip and nostrils creating what he hoped to be a diversion.
"I thought I was going to sneeze again, I couldn't find any cloths the first time so I just closed my nose, but then everything came out when I sneezed a while ago"
"Are you sure you're alright?"
Suzaku now looked at him with such worry that partly he felt guilty for lying to him, but he just had to cope with it because he couldn't slip this. He raised a hand to his nose and pressed it against his nostrils as if checking for a bloody nose.
"I'm sorry for worrying you..."
He said through the blood stained fingers, Suzaku merely blinked and then flicked him across the forehead with a finger. Lelouch yelped as he rubbed the spot while throwing daggers at Suzaku in a death glare, but the Japanese merely smiled at him before saying.
"You should eat more, whenever something bad happens that concerns you, you neglect yourself. Every time it happens it turns to something bad and look where it got you now, Lelouch"
Suzaku stood up and offered him a hand, he took it without hesitation and stood up before sitting down on the edge of the bed. Suzaku really knew nothing about him at all, the knife was the only proof and was now hidden from sight and Suzaku only thought that this had happened because of illness while in reality the truth was far from different, he remembered what he had felt back then, the pressure that you receive when your heart stops beating, it is unbearable.
He remained still and listened as Suzaku walked around the bed to grab something and looked up when something was placed next to him, starring at the plate he realised that it was filled with various fruit types all soaked in a syrup-like substance and a small feeling of disgust settled itself around his stomach because he didn't want to eat right now. He had already eaten apples with Shirley and even though he was still a little hungry he just ignored that request. Whenever he wasn't hungry or if it was even a little he would just wave it off and continue without eating, his body would normally get used to the situation and would then stop complaining until he finally ate diner or lunch. He felt a hand on his own and watched as Suzaku took his in possession, the tanned hands slowly removed the white cloth of his right hand, the bottom was stained in blood. Suzaku was standing pretty close to him, his legs leaning against the mattress and his eyes unreadable, he could hear him giggle softly but didn't think much of it, maybe it was irony, maybe it was something else.
"I was afraid that you were going to die..."
The glare he was giving the standing man was fading and was now replaced by surprise as his hand was raised upwards to meet his lips. As it was released he could feel the hands move to his chin, pushing it upwards as those same lips now met with his own. He had missed those lips and sat straight to try and get closer to them as if pleading for attention and of course Suzaku noticed this because he felt the same way and he bend down to kiss him better, his hands wrapping around the fragile waist before running up the thin back as he kissed him. Fragility was an appropriate word for this, because for once he wasn't acting out of greed or need, this time was he actually afraid that if he took those steps the body underneath would crumble to pieces. His tongue passed over the warm and soft lips and when the opened he pushed inside the familiar territory with great care and acted slower than usual. The lips parted again and they looked at each other.
"You should eat something"
The Prince groaned and the smile on his face had now faded to annoyance, but he wouldn't let him off the leash that easily because after all he had promised himself to take better care of his Prince. Lelouch would always neglect his health and right now his body was probably telling him to eat since it required a healthy meal, it didn't matter if he said something about it or not and that was what annoyed him.
"You have to eat something, Lelouch. Do you want to get sick again?"
He said in an angrier tone and now the Prince looked the other way as if he was still in denial.
"I guess I'll be sleeping in the other room then..."
He said as he started to walk away and much to his delight did Lelouch slam his hands on the bed and yelled at him that he wasn't going anywhere. However he made a demand that Suzaku helped him eat this, since he hated being the only one eating while being in someone's company and minutes later both had settled themselves on the bed, sitting across each other with spread legs, the plate lay in between them on the red blanket that topped the four layer bedding.
"Shirley is staying the night, Milly is also coming but she is probably going straight to bed"
He made a mental note to lock the door for tonight. His hands lingered to grab another piece of fruit and he tried to avoid the pineapple pieces. Suzaku ate faster than he did and had stopped when half the dish had already been eaten, he had just begun on his fourth piece for crying out loud.
"Did Shirley say anything weird to you today?"
He suddenly asked. He hated this quiet atmosphere. His fingers pushed in the piece of mango and he chewed on the soft fruit before looking up to the Japanese, he found that he was looking back rather shocked and embarrassed.
"Did she tell you?!"
He yelled out and Lelouch found himself dumb folded when Suzaku pressed his hands against the mattress and leaned forward, his head turning from right to left as if he was inspecting something. He then looked up at him and said in a quiet tone.
"So she did notice..."
He raised one of his hands to shield his mouth on one side as if there were people listening in on them and whispered to him.
Lelouch blinked at this sudden secrecy and realised that he must have been staring at the mark in his neck, the mark he had left behind last time. The mark of possession.
"Suzaku should know better than to leave marks like that..."
"I know... she told me"
"She did?! Then she really saw it didn't she"
He was giving off a vibe of regret and embarrassment and it was quite entertaining to see Suzaku like this, he had missed this side of Suzaku it was always shielded by his military duties and strict behaviour whenever he was out as his Knight. However he didn't feel the same way, in fact he was still worried about Shirley. She had changed back to her old self and had responded to this situation in an entirely different way as before. The previous time she had gone hysterical and he had imprisoned her mentally with geass by accident. That was the Shirley that he had created after Mao had his way with her, that was the Shirley who had lost her sanity because of the things she didn't know. He was pulled out of those thoughts when a hand tightened around his shoulder and he looked up at Suzaku again.
"Don't worry, she promised not to tell anyone... Have some fait in her"
"It's not like that... I'm glad, I am but I was just thinking about before, never mind that"
The hand however didn't leave and instead tightened, his attention was being drawn back to those green eyes and they stared at him with worry.
"Are you sure you're alright...?"
"Stop asking that already, I'm alright... Idiot"
Suzaku sighed when he was glared at and retreated the hand to the plate in between them, he decided to eat again because there was no way that Lelouch would finish the dish alone. He seemed distant, he had noticed that from the moment he had walked in. Somehow he seemed deep in thought as if troubled by something but he merely believed that this was because of what had recently happened, anyone would be if the world had started to plot against them. As time progressed only one more piece remained and he held it up.
"Do you want the last piece?"
The piece of fruit was held between his fingers and the syrup was dripping down from between them onto the plate, Lelouch blinked and held his posture in place as he shook his head. Suzaku looked at him rather disappointing and ate the pineapple piece, Lelouch watched as he chewed while grabbing the plate, he leaned forward to place it on one of the nightstands next to Lelouch who sighed before saying.
"Now that we-"
He was about to tell his thoughts on the current global situation and the now broken peace treaty when he was pushed back onto the bed, there was something on top of him and he had no time to respond because he felt familiar lips pressed against his own. A taste of pineapple soon followed when he parted his lips and the kiss, as he noted, was a lot fiercer than before, he took it nonetheless because after all how could he resist this, this was Suzaku, his idiot.
"I'm sorry, I can't bear to wait any longer"
He said with a carefree smile after pushing himself up again, Lelouch was on his back and Suzaku sat on top on his hips and he felt rather overwhelmed at seeing Suzaku towering over him, it made him different somehow.
He said in response with a soft tone and the carefree smile now changed into a smirk when Suzaku moved to press his knee against his groin. He applied pressure and watched the Prince below him squirm in discomfort.
He said between the heavy breaths and couldn't help but gasp out when the knee continuously stroke against the aching part of his body, moving up and down against the hardened part and Lelouch closed his eyes as he tried his best to keep his voice to himself but reopened them when he felt a hand against his cheek.
"Already making such a face, it's so cute"
The hand played with his hair and the knee remained in place, continuing these pleasurable yet lacking motions. They lacked something, it was arousing but it was not satisfying, he wanted more and that was what made it torment. Suzaku watched him squirm and moan and could feel the back arching upwards as if signalling a request for more, it pleased him and he pulled the knee back. He sat up straight again and with one hand touched the lump underneath the clothing, he could feel it clearly and it was urging for his attention, he had a similar problem of his own but it wasn't as demanding as the one underneath him, watching Lelouch like that only made him more and more aroused.
"Suzaku, don't be so cruel..."
Lelouch whispered out in a hiss before moving his hips upwards and Suzaku held back a groan at this sudden movement before leaning down to whisper in his ears.
"I think I'll be a little crueler tonight..."
Lelouch's eyes widened and he pushed the Knight away when he sat up, his hands were still against his shoulders and he now stared at Suzaku with enraged eyes. However his boundaries were broken down as quickly as they were set up when a tanned hand took a hold of his own. The other swept over his eyes and removed the eye patch that was still covering his left eye, the mark of geass was still flaring behind it and was now visible for him after he tossed the patch away. Lelouch's free hand gripped the fabric around his shoulder and pulled him forward in a kiss, one of equal viciousness or perhaps even more. His sweater was forcibly removed as well as his cotton trousers, his hands did the same to Suzaku but weren't as quick because Suzaku kept him distracted, he had only managed to get rid of his shirt and had no chance to try and unbutton his pants because Suzaku kissed him again and the punctured him with a finger which made him jump slightly and look at the Japanese.
He tried to say his name but the finger curled up and quickly put an end to his sentence. It pushed in completely in a rapid movement before being pulled out again on a slow pace only to follow this set of events again and his breaths grew heavier as his hands tightened around Suzaku's shoulder in fear.
Was the answer he received and a second finger joined the first, when both started to move he couldn't resist but moan at these feelings and he was leaning his forehead against the muscular chest as he tried to breathe. He felt embarrassed to look so vulnerable to him right now but couldn't help but yelp when those fingers swept over a more sensitive spot, Suzaku noticed and repeated the movement and as he continued Lelouch found that he couldn't keep his voice to himself any longer in the seconds that passed.
He squealed out and drool was running down the side of his mouth together with tears from his eyes, these movements were too much for him, he could feel himself coming but he couldn't.
"Suza.. ku... don't"
He moaned out and his hands tightened their grip to try and catch Suzaku's attention, he was simply ignored though and couldn't but cry out in a higher pitch as he released, his hands shook against the strong shoulder as the white cum splattered against their chests and only when it had all been released could he breathe again, his body still shaking from the experience.
Suzaku said as he raised his hand and ran his thumb over the pink lips to remove the remains of drool. Lelouch finally swallowed again and caught his breath while feeling soft kisses on his jaw line and on his lips. He looked up at him and noticed that the green eyes were still pleading with lust, Suzaku was being stupid for ignoring his own needs.
He said serious and blunt between his ragged breaths and Suzaku now looked at him as if he had just confessed something ridiculous or shocking and so he repeated himself in a louder and somewhat more annoyed tone.
"Do it... Idiot, you know how I hate it when you do things like this"
Closing his eyes he pretended to look as annoyed as possible so that he could evade Suzaku's eyes, he didn't want to know how he was looking at him right now but the Japanese smiled and placed his hands on Lelouch's hips before sliding them backwards to his buttocks where he tightened their grip.
"Get up, on your knees"
He commanded and Lelouch wasn't certain to what Suzaku was planning with him. The Japanese was sitting in front of him and now he was on his knees, his hands were on Suzaku's shoulders and guided him to move forward on hips lap, he watched as Suzaku removed his pants and underwear, the throbbing erection now visible to him and it made him rather embarrassed for some reason. He closed his eyes when he felt Suzaku puncture him with wet fingers this time before puling them out to gesture him to sit down. He slowly did what was asked of him and gasped as he felt Suzaku entering him like this, afterwards he looked over his shoulder with disbelief the thought of having Suzaku inside completely was still somewhat new but it was possible, so he saw and when he moved to look forward again he heard a soft moan coming from Suzaku's lips. He hated to admit it but he was getting aroused again by this and he watched as Suzaku opened his eyes again which he had shut tight when Lelouch started to move and Lelouch quickly added that seeing Suzaku like this was indeed a rare sight.
"Are you okay...?"
He asked as quietly as he could and Suzaku smiled at him upon hearing it, how many times had he not been to person to ask this. Suzaku moved to sit up better and with those movements Lelouch gasped he wrapped his legs around Suzaku's waist and couldn't help but escape a hiss when he felt a hand caress his new erection.
"Again... You're really great, Lelouch"
He narrowly opened his eyes and looked at Suzaku, his hands hung limply over his shoulders shaking because Suzaku was still peaked his pleasure points with his hand, pumping the erect member.
"Quit the sweet talk..."
He ended the threat with a whimper when Suzaku ran his hand over the slit and then he moved his hips, he could feel the shock pass through the Japanese's hand that was holding his erection, it had briefly stopped and so he continued these movement and couldn't help but groan in the process as well and as he quickened the pace he soon found himself at the same altitude and was now leaning with his forehead again the top of Suzaku's shoulder, his once limp arms now clung to him as if they would lose him the second he'd let go. He nuzzled in his neck as he listened to his whimpers and moans.
Suzaku gasped out and Lelouch could barely feel him pull out because he was too distracted by Suzaku's hand and seconds later he could feel the body tense up followed by a warm substance that splattered against him. Suzaku was staring up to the ceiling, his eyes shut and mouth gaping open to breathe, his hand had now released Lelouch's erection which was still throbbing for attention he was only moments away from his own orgasm and moved his own hand to finish what Suzaku had started. He had always found self pleasuring rather vulgar because it went against his own standards but right now it didn't matter and so he continued, after all he just needed a little more.
His breaths quickened and soon after he released for the second time that night, both their bodies were now covered with semen and sweat and it soaked the blanket underneath them. Only now did he realise how exhausting it had been and he leaned back so that Suzaku could stand, he listened as the Knight made his way to the bathroom, it was all routine after all. He tried to stand himself but found that his legs had gone almost completely numb, he staggered to the door and got in the shower as well but unlike the Japanese did he lean against the tiled wall for support and Suzaku noticed how tired his eyes looked and helped him clean himself up, with a tender kiss did he leave only to return with the first two layers of blankets from the bed, he put them somewhere in the corner so that they couldn't be seen and noticed that Lelouch was now sitting in the tub rather than standing, the warm water was running down on him and Suzaku turned it off so that he could help him get up.
"My legs feel like jelly..."
He whispered out as Suzaku dried him off and later on carried him on his back to the bedroom, he figured that tonight might take a serious toll on him and could only imagine the pain he would be feeling the next day.
"You... changed the sheets"
Came a soft voice from over his shoulder and he turned to drop him on the bed, he went back to the bathroom and grabbed a towel.
"I removed some of them"
He said while drying the Prince's hair and later on he passed him clean underwear and a shirt to wear for in bed. While he was managing himself on the other side of the room he still snuck a peek to see if Lelouch could manage and he walked back after putting on some lose pyjama pants and turning off the lights, once in bed Lelouch wrapped his arms around him and nuzzled against his chest, he smiled and ran a hand through those dark locks of his.
He looked down, the geassed eye was giving off a soft glow in the dark but he wasn't bothered with it. Lelouch looked at him, his eyes half open and hands clinging onto him.
"What is it that you like about me...?"
Lelouch swallowed and asked his question simpler.
"What made you fall in love with me?"
His hand patted the head and he smiled, it was an unexpected question but no longer was he now afraid to answer it, he wondered if Lelouch still remembered.
"Its complicated I guess... do you remember the beach?"
"Only partly, sorry..."
There was sadness in his voice and Lelouch put a finger against his lower lip as he tried to remember that day, there was nothing out of the ordinary when their trip began but at some point his memories stopped.
"You kissed me on the cheek after, I guess that was around the time that my crush started"
He still remembered that, it was the day after their trip but it wasn't a real kiss and was certainly not meant to be one.
"But that was a long time ago, and you even misunderstood the action back then!"
Suzaku laughed and Lelouch merely looked at him with pouting lips as he mocked him.
"I know, I still remember it. It was probably that kiss that made me aware that I was in love with you, after several years I realised that I've always liked you. I just never noticed. Remember my birthday back then? That day was the happiest day in my life because even after saying you wouldn't go you still came and you even brought cake for me and Nunnally"
"That was only because-"
"...You hated birthdays and you didn't want me celebrating it all alone"
Lelouch gasped and looked at him with embarrassed eyes.
"How did you know?"
"Because that is what I liked about you, you always act selfish on the surface but there is always a kind heart underneath. Was that also why you became Zero?"
There was a moment of silence there, as if a sore spot had been touched. Suzaku had never wanted to talk about Zero before, why would he want to hear it now?
"It was for Nunnally wasn't it...?"
His eyes narrowed and he pressed himself against the tanned and muscular chest, he could hear the heart beating inside it but it wasn't rapid, instead it was calm.
"Yes... but also for you"
There was a tone of surprise there, hiding in what Lelouch thought to be the calmth before the storm, but he answered nonetheless.
"I thought you had died, Suzaku. But when I saw you again I had already decided, I would rather be your enemy than watch you throw your life away"
Suzaku sighed and reached down to push Lelouch chin upwards, he could see sadness in Lelouch's eyes but he smiled, something Lelouch found strange.
"What's done is done, even after Euphie..."
There was still anger in his tone at that mention.
"But Zero died in that cave and it was Zero who killed Euphemia, not you"
Lelouch didn't know if this was forgiveness or if this was denial, either way he didn't want to be forgiven. He couldn't be forgiven because the act was too great to even be allowed that choice.
"I love you, I love you so much. I made up my mind a while ago as well, I'm going to remain your Knight, I made a deal with your Father"
"It isn't important, because I'm going to make sure nothing happens to you"
He wanted to ask more questions but sleep overtook him, he could feel Suzaku kiss him and embrace him as he closed his eyes, sleep came to him in almost an instant. Suzaku watched as the eyes closed, Lelouch struggled to stay awake but fell asleep short after. His hand ran through the locks once more before he decided to rest his eyes as well. Somehow he had always felt attractive to Lelouch, he hated him in the beginning but something had always caught his attention when it came to the Prince, he was happy now with things the way they were, though he hated that the geass factor still remained, at leased he was able to express his love now unlike before.
Chapter 60C: Sprouting wings
The water covered his feet and reached his ankles. He could see a gazebo somewhere in the distance but didn't think much of it because he was still trying to figure out where he was. The sky was light blue and there were clouds passing over, he didn't feel any wind so he found it strange.
"Where am I...?"
He asked out as he shifted his feet, making the water cast ripples over the never ending surface and he looked down only to meet with his own reflection, the left eye giving off an unnatural glow as something swept past him. Looking up again he noticed that there were feathers passing by from behind him, landing gently over on the water surface and leaving a trail that led to the gazebo. He decided to follow it and found that walking was getting more and more difficult with every step he took towards the white wooden structure. Once near he noticed the voice and soon saw a hunched person on the middle of the platform, crying and kneeling on the ground near two chairs and a table, both craved out of white stone. Watching this person made him feel heavy somehow and he was getting exhausted as he stepped closer, his hands holding onto one of the pillars as he tried to lean against it to catch his breath and lose some of this tiredness, the child seemed to notice him and now looked up, his eyes still hidden behind the long locks of blonde hair as he asked the Prince.
"If you had wings, where would you go to?"
Lelouch was caught back when his eyes became visible and saw that this child had geass in both his eyes, but why did he look so familiar.
"Where I would go?"
He responded, not understanding what the child meant with this question, he did realise that this child had occupied his dreams before, but that was a long while back.
"Mother says that she will give me wings if I'm good, I don't think I want them. I think nii-sama will miss me when I fly away, don't you think?"
He tried to reach out to the child, to try and comfort him, he looked so sad after all. A child that was given geass at such a young age would only be frightened if he knew what its true potentials were.
"Can you tell me how it is? You know don't you, you already have wings!"
He had no chance to neither speak nor pull back, a pale hand reached out and touched something at the side of his head. Pulling back he could see a white wing in his hands and his eyes widened in fear at that sight, he hadn't felt it nor had he seen it but it was clearly there, the boy said it himself. He gasped and felt his hands shake, he looked at them and noticed that the mark of geass was glowing up, his skin was slowly changing colour to a snow like white, dripping over the surface like ink on a white towel. Unsure what to do he watched and saw the sides of his wrists swell up, he yelped when he felt something snap in them and pulled them against his chest. He could feel something growing out, his hand was clinging to the swelling because it hurt and he felt something coming out, grazing between his fingers as it grew bigger and he tried not to scream as the pain increased. He opened his eyes again and wished that he had kept them shut when he saw two wings sprouting out of his wrists, one on each hand and his hands shook more than they did before when he realised when this had happened.
"No... I want to remain human, I don't want to fly away!"
He whimpered out as the wings on the side of his head flapped out, the child in front of him stared at him and remained still as he tried to get up. The wings that had sprouted from his wrists were now moving and tried to stretch out but it failed when the Prince fell back down on his knees, his forehead now against the wooden floor as he screamed out.
"You don't have to fly if you have wings! You can stay here right?! If you don't flap them then you won't go anywhere, right?!"
His breathing was ragged and he partly wished Suzaku was here with him right now, he felt hands against his cheeks.
He whispered out as he was pulled upwards and his eyes widened when he saw his mother before him, Marianne vi Britannia was kneeling in front of her son and smiled as she looked at him, the feathers were gone and the snow white skin had left.
"You're right, but someday the wind will come and take you away and then you will never come back, Lelouch"
"Come to me Lelouch, my sweet Lelouch..."
The tone of her voice changed and he gasped when blood started to run down her face, she smiled as it started to cover her completely.
"Come to me, please. I need you to come"
This couldn't be his mother, this was a nightmare. He tried to pull back but she embraced him and stained him with the blood she was covered with. He screamed somewhere and felt himself fall backward, somewhere in the distance he still heard her voice before she disappeared.
"I want to die, please..."
The sentence still echoed in his head and his eyes snapped open, he heard Suzaku yelp and looked up to see what he was doing.
"Let go, stupid Arthur!"
He could see an expression of pain on Suzaku's face and heard a soft hiss behind him, it was probably the cat again. Even after a year of absence it still didn't like him, it was to be expected. Suzaku pulled back his hand from the teeth showing devil creature and then noticed that Lelouch was awake, while rubbing the bite mark on his hand did he smile at him but found that there was something off with his expression, he didn't look happy at all.
"Did I wake you up?"
He asked and Lelouch blinked before smiling at him.
"No, not at all..."
He said while sitting up but the smile quickly faded when a sting of pain swept through his bottom half and he grunted as his hand leaned against his hip. Even now the distant expression was on his face and Suzaku looked at him from his lying position, a bad dream most likely he figured but that didn't make him less worried than what he already was. He leaned forward and kissed Lelouch on the cheek.
"I'm sorry for making it rough for you"
He said in a tune as he got up and walked to the bathroom, Lelouch watched his back and his hand rose up to the previously kissed cheek, they had turned red once again. He sighed and looked down at the sheets again, his mind still thinking of the image of his mother in his dream and at the last words he heard from her. Did she wish for death?